Lullaby and Goodnight

by Susan Kearney

  “I love you, Dad. Gotta go.” Rafe hung up the phone and hesitated. What had made him think about his mother just now? Was it his worry over Rhianna? Rhianna wasn’t going to die on him like his mother. Rhianna just had a headache.

  Until his wife’s death, the senator hadn’t even known his wife had a heart condition. But Rafe knew Rhianna was hurting.

  His father had had no warning.

  Sweat beaded on Rafe’s brow. He had to leave Rhianna, search the ski chalet. He had only hours left. He walked past the hotel boutique, saw a clerk taking a white gown off a mannequin. Through the open door, he heard the woman say, “Room 567.”

  Rhianna’s room. Why would she buy a fancy white dress when she had a headache? It didn’t make sense. Maybe he had mistaken the room number.

  Rafe stepped into the boutique. “Room 567 is mine. I’ll take the dress up.”

  The salesgirl smiled at him. “The groom isn’t supposed to see the wedding dress before—”

  “Wedding dress?” Just what the hell was going on? His heart did a triple somersault. Rafe hadn’t proposed to Rhianna, so why would she be buying a dress she hadn’t even tried on?

  “The wedding’s at four o’clock. The dress has to be up there in half an hour. Relax, sir. We have everything under control.”

  A wedding at four o’clock? Today? Suddenly Rafe understood. Rhianna didn’t have a headache. She’d wanted him out of the way because she was getting married—but not to him.

  Damn her! What the hell was she doing? Rafe didn’t bother waiting for the elevator. He slammed through the stairwell door and took the stairs three at a time, his anger building with every leap upward.

  Racing down the hall, he slid to a stop before the door, fumbled with the key, then burst into the room, feeling betrayed and angry and very, very riled.

  Rhianna spun to face him, the makeup she’d been applying dropping from her hand. Quickly she knelt and scooped up her compact. “Forget something?”

  “My wedding invitation.” Anger and pride made his voice rough and harsh. “Here I was worried about your headache, and you’re planning to leave me to marry another man. Don’t you think you owe me an explanation?”

  She flinched as if he’d struck her, but she raised her chin. “I don’t owe you anything.”

  “Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  Rhianna pointedly looked at her watch. “Don’t you have to search the ski chalet?”

  How could she be so calm? Why did her expression look so brittle, as if she’d shatter into a thousand pieces if he touched her?

  All his pent-up anger seeped out of him as he realized the pain he’d seen before had not been from a headache but from inner turmoil. She hadn’t made this decision easily. And she’d made it alone, without even hinting to him what she intended. That hurt as if she’d flayed his nerves. Now that he looked at her puffy, slightly red eyes, he suspected she’d been crying. And there could be only one reason for her tears. “You’re going to marry Duncan?”

  “Yes.”

  Rafe didn’t understand her. Didn’t know how she could tear them apart without even discussing her plans with him. “And take my daughter?”

  “I’ll give you full custody of Allison.”

  Her words floored him. She’d spoken with no intonation, but he could imagine what they had cost her. He might doubt her feelings for him, but he could never doubt her love for their daughter. Rafe had been there when Allison had been born, had seen Rhianna’s joy when she’d first held their child, listened as she’d sung lullabies and kissed her goodnight.

  Shocked by her decision, Rafe stared at her with confusion. And then her reasons hit him. “You’re marrying Duncan because he agreed to pay off the debt, aren’t you? The land isn’t worth it. Are you out of your mind?”

  Rhianna sat down and began to apply her makeup. “It’s better this way. The Suttons will keep the ranch. You and my father will keep Sweetness.”

  “And what about Allison?”

  “She’ll grow up fine. You’re a wonderful father.”

  “She needs a mother.”

  “We’ve always known she couldn’t have both of us. At least this way, she’ll keep her heritage. And Duncan doesn’t want her. She’s better off with you.”

  She had it all figured out. “And what about us?”

  “There is no us.” Her voice cracked, but sounded final. Rafe wasn’t buying it.

  “You don’t love me?” Rafe asked, his disbelief plain in his voice.

  “I’m moving on.”

  “You don’t believe that I love you?” he guessed.

  “Actually, I think you do.”

  “Let me get this straight. I love you. You love me. We have a child together. And you’re going to marry another man?”

  She waved him away with her hand. “If you wanted to fight for us, you’d hurry to the ski chalet and find the money. The judge would go to jail and then I wouldn’t have to marry Duncan.”

  “You know damn well I’d never even get there before you and Duncan exchanged vows.” She thought he could walk away. Lose her. God! How could he live with himself if he lost her? How could he tell Allison her parents had never married because her father was a coward? “You aren’t getting rid of me so easily.”

  Her bottom lip quivered. “Why are you determined to make this so difficult? Go away. I’m going to marry Duncan.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  She looked up at him and alarm entered her eyes. “Rafe, be sensible—”

  “Sensible?” He grabbed her wrist and pulled her to her feet. Her chest slammed against his, and he cradled her firmly but gently against him. “I won’t let you marry him. I won’t let another man marry the woman I love.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Rafe’s arms around her felt so good that Rhianna wanted to lean into him, rest her head under his chin and take comfort in his warmth. She didn’t dare stay so close, breathing in his masculine scent, touching his heat, for fear she’d never find the courage to leave.

  She drew back from his arms and immediately felt cold. “You won’t let me marry Duncan? I don’t believe that decision is yours to make.”

  Rafe took her hand and drew her down next to him on the bed, so they sat side by side. “I never wanted to marry, but I didn’t know why. Until I met you, I never looked for a reason.”

  “I’m no longer buying the-woman-I-marry-will-be-in-danger theory,” Rhianna warned him.

  “You’re too smart for that. But for a while, I really did think that someone was after my family, and I wanted you to be safe.” Rafe shoved his fingers through his hair and looked at her calmly, but with an intensity that zinged straight to her heart. “I did have good reasons. The judge does want to ruin the Suttons.”

  “But—”

  “Let me get this out while I can.” Rafe squeezed her hand, seemingly determined to tell her more, something he didn’t like to speak about. “When I was six, I was playing with some toys under the kitchen table while my mother fixed dinner. One minute she was standing up, and the next, she’d collapsed on the floor, and the onions she had been cooking started to burn. I still hate the smell of onions.”

  “Where were your brothers?” Rhianna asked gently.

  “In the old barn with Dad. Back then it was a good ten-minute drive from there to the house.”

  No wonder he considered the barn a safe haven. Rhianna didn’t need a psychiatry degree to realize the young Rafe had wished to be safe in the barn with his brothers and father. “No one else was in the house?”

  Rafe shook his head. “I didn’t know what to do. I dialed 911, then yelled for Dad on the radio, but I didn’t want to leave Mom. I kept trying to wake her, but I knew. I’d seen dead cows. I knew she was…gone. Dad heard me and drove like a race car driver. It seemed like the longest minutes of my life, but not even Dad could save her.” Rafe paused. “It was the only time I saw him cry—until my oldest brother was killed. And then I watched Ch
ase grieve when Laura left him, watched Cam grieve over the loss of his first wife and I…”

  “You what? Thought it would be better never to love anyone?”

  He didn’t answer for a long time. But finally the words came in a harsh rasp. “I thought if I loved you, married you—that you would die.”

  Like his mother. Like his eldest brother, Brent. Like his sister-in-law. Rafe had seen more than his share of death and it had marked him. Rhianna could hear the truth in his voice, see the fear in his eyes.

  She squeezed Rafe’s hand. “I’m still here.” “I’m glad.” Rafe paused. “I tried to deny what I felt for you. But I can’t. You mean too much to me.”

  “My dying prematurely isn’t a rational fear, Rafe,” she tried to reassure him.

  “To me, it is.” He turned to her then. “But I would rather face the fear, live with it, beat it, than lose you to another man.”

  She heard the strength in his words, read the determination in his eyes, and the weight pressing on her heart lightened. Time might heal the old wounds. And Rhianna hadn’t given him enough time to overcome his past. “I’m glad you told me, but it doesn’t change anything.”

  Rafe jerked to his feet and then spun slowly to face her. “What do you mean?”

  “I’m still going to marry Duncan.”

  Rafe’s eyes narrowed. He looked to be two seconds away from shaking her. “Why?”

  “Because too many people’s futures depend on my actions. Duncan will pay off the mortgage—”

  “You’re more important than the Sutton lands.”

  “And you and my father will have the chance to raise Sweetness.”

  “Look, Rhianna. When your father thought you were in danger, he was willing to sell Sweetness. Don’t you think he’d do the same to ensure your happiness? My family can survive without the acreage. Dad has his sights on the White House and spends most of his time in Washington. Chase and Laura can live at the Embry place, which her parents own. Tyler can foreman any ranch. I can always practice law.”

  “You’d hate that.”

  “I’d rather my daughter had her mother.” Rafe tugged at her hand. “And if we weren’t wasting all this time arguing, we might find the money and this conversation would be irrelevant.”

  Rhianna tried to free her hand from Rafe’s as he pulled her toward the door. “Where are you taking me?”

  Rafe never answered. He flung open the door and found Duncan Phillips standing there. “Sorry, your bride’s changed her mind.”

  Before Duncan could say a word, Rafe pulled her down the hallway. But Duncan was not a man who gave up easily. He spun on his heel and jogged after them, catching up just as Rafe yanked Rhianna into the elevator.

  Duncan stepped in after them. He looked from Rafe to Rhianna and sneered. “What’s going on?”

  Rafe started to say something and Rhianna kicked his shin. Duncan might be cold, he might be selfish, but he deserved to be let down as gently as possible. “I’m sorry, Duncan. Rafe would rather lose the ranch than me. And I’m not sure if I could really give up my daughter.”

  Duncan rocked back on his heels, folded his arms over his chest and surveyed her from head to toe. Rhianna realized her eyes were still puffy from crying, she hadn’t finished applying her makeup and her hair probably looked like she’d stepped off the set of a Halloween movie.

  Duncan blew out air through his nose. “Maybe it’s for the best. You might never have learned to behave suitably.”

  Beside her in the elevator, Rafe bristled, but when she picked up her foot to kick his shin again, he relaxed and let Rhianna handle Duncan.

  “You deserve a better woman than me, but I am sorry for inconveniencing you,” she said.

  The elevator stopped, and they exited. Duncan, looking none too upset, tipped his hat at the first pretty woman in the lobby. Rhianna suspected he’d recover from his disappointment almost immediately, but she still felt badly for leading him on—but not as badly as if she’d had to endure marriage to him.

  Meanwhile Rafe hurried her into his car. He plunked his cell phone into the recharger as she checked the clock on the dash. They’d never make the drive to the chalet before dark. Time to pay the mortgage had run out. She settled in the car next to Rafe, who’d been strangely quiet since the scene at the hotel. He acted almost as if confronting his past and the deaths in his family had surprised him as much as it had her.

  She couldn’t blame him for avoiding such unpleasant memories. But she also wondered if just recognizing his reluctance could help him get over them. Rhianna might have canceled her wedding with Duncan, but she couldn’t live with Rafe forever without some kind of formal commitment. She wouldn’t do that to Allison. But she also owed it to her daughter to give Rafe time to work out his past. And that also meant giving herself to him freely, giving them what they both wanted—a chance to grow closer and let their passions blossom.

  AT TEN TO FIVE, Rafe pulled up in front of the ski chalet. Rhianna and Rafe could never search the huge contemporary A-frame in the ten minutes they had left.

  Rafe took out his cell phone and called his dad. “We’re here. Why don’t you wait until the banks close, then overnight a check to the judge in case we find the cash?”

  And if they failed, the check would bounce. But Rafe had just bought them more time to search the chalet, because the check only had to be posted in today’s mail—not cashed by the judge.

  So the search still loomed in front of them. Before they’d left Karen, she’d told them the judge hid a key in the third planter to the right of the front door. Rafe found the key easily, let them inside and punched the security code into the alarm system, while Rhianna held her breath. If the judge had changed the code since his divorce, the silent alarm would call the police. But the blinking red light changed to solid green, indicating Rafe had successfully deactivated the system.

  It turned dark early in the mountains, and in the dim interior, Rhianna couldn’t see much until after Rafe flipped on the lights. A huge stone fireplace dominated one wall. Turquoise leather couches with plum-colored pillows formed a seating group around a marble table and a multicolored, contemporary rug. The rest of the floor was bare wood that creaked as they walked across it.

  “Where do we start?” Rhianna asked in a whisper, reluctant to leave Rafe’s side. Even with the lights on, the house spooked her. Just knowing the judge owned the property lent the place a sinister air. She kept expecting him to pop out of a dark corner, pointing a gun at them for trespassing.

  “Let’s look around downstairs, but I’m betting he’d hide the money in an area most guests wouldn’t go to—like his bedroom.”

  “Maybe he has a wall safe.”

  “It’d have to be huge. Two duffel bags worth of cash take up a lot of room.”

  Rhianna followed Rafe into a spotless kitchen of gleaming stainless steel and deep green countertops. “One thing I don’t understand.”

  “What?”

  “If we find the money, what will you do?” She looked over at Rafe as he peered into a well-stocked freezer. “Sheriff Demory said he can’t use the evidence in court if we find it illegally. And we don’t have the judge’s permission to be here.”

  Rafe dug through a pile of frozen chickens, steaks and bacon. “I haven’t forgotten.” He seemed satisfied the money wasn’t there and closed the freezer, moving on to the walk-in pantry.

  Despite the pantry’s size, the money could hardly be hidden behind the canned food and other supplies on the shelves, and Rafe quickly searched the cabinets. They inspected the entire downstairs and finally ascended a staircase to the second level. Rhianna un-buttoned her jacket and followed Rafe into a guest room with a sinking feeling in her gut.

  She’d never believed they would find the money, but felt obligated to help Rafe search. While he looked under the bed and behind pictures, she checked the closet.

  Nothing.

  They skipped the four guest rooms and entered the owner’s suite
. The master bedroom occupied the entire third floor and boasted a walk-in closet, a separate exercise area, a study and a huge bathroom. They looked through empty suitcases in the closet, a trunk by the foot of the bed, and Rafe even pulled down the stairs to the attic. Maybe the Rovells would be up there.

  It was empty.

  Rhianna swept her hair off her face and looked at Rafe. “Houses like this don’t have basements, do they?”

  “Nope. But there’s the guest bedrooms and a garage we haven’t searched yet.”

  They found nothing in the guest bedrooms, so trudged downstairs, and with every step Rhianna’s discouragement grew. She couldn’t believe anyone would leave the cash just lying around, especially someone as smart as Judge Stuart.

  After checking inside the washer and dryer, Rafe opened the laundry room door to the garage. Rhianna saw a sedan, a minivan and three skimobiles. All the toys of a wealthy man accustomed to entertaining on the highest levels. While she checked the vehicles and the sedan’s trunk, Rafe opened the seats of the skimobiles. Several bicycles rested against a water heater wrapped in blankets for insulation against Colorado’s harsh winters, but she saw nothing that could be used to hide cash—no boxes or trash cans.

  Rafe eyed the bikes and walked toward them, and she followed wearily. As much as she wanted to return to the ranch and hold Allison, she hated to go back knowing they had failed.

  Rafe plucked at duct tape that held the blanket around the hot water heater. He moved the bikes, and she rolled them away and leaned them against one wall. “What is it?”

  “That blanket around the water heater is awfully thick.”

  “It must get really cold here in winter.”