Sin City Baby

by Rye Hart

  “Yes, please,” I moaned.

  The idea of having his child turned me on so much more than I could have ever imagined. I wanted to give Grayson a sibling so badly, but it was more than that. I missed everything about being pregnant – about growing with a life inside of me, the miracle of birth. I wanted to experience it again, and I wanted a baby to love.

  Gabe would make a good father. Hell, any of the men I'd left behind in Castle Creek would. That's just who they were. However, in that moment, all I could think about was Gabe impregnating me – and I wanted it more than anything else in the world.

  Gabe grabbed my hips, adjusting my body so he was pressed against my opening. He stared deep into my eyes as he plunged himself into me, parting my lips and stretching me open with his cock. I cried out as he filled me up, my body shaking as I held onto him for dear life.

  The bed rattled against the frame as he pumped his deliciously hard cock in and out of me with such force, it was as if he was trying to reach the deepest parts of me. Gabe grabbed hold of my legs and lifted them up, resting them on his shoulders as he plunged into me again. His chest tightened, showing off every muscle in his torso.

  He gritted his teeth hard as he filled me up, the tip of his cock brushing my cervix. Pleasure tinged with pain moved through me, but he kept going and the pain disappeared – and was quickly replaced by the feeling of absolute bliss.

  Gabe licked his fingers and smiled at me, rubbing his wet fingertips against my clit. The sensation of him being inside of me and touching my most sensitive parts sent me over the edge. I gripped the blankets tightly, holding onto them as I writhed underneath him, succumbing to my orgasm and letting it rush through me.

  “Yes, yes,” I groaned.

  Sweat glistened on Gabe's body, sliding down his forehead and chest, as he fucked me with such precision, and yet such wild abandon.

  “Come for me, Hadley,” he growled.

  “I'm coming,” I whimpered, my entire body continuing to spasm uncontrollably.

  “Good girl,” he said.

  His voice was cracking now, and his breathing was growing more ragged. I knew he was close. As my orgasm subsided, Gabe pulled his cock from me and flipped me around, moving my body into his desired position. I was flat on my stomach and he was on top of me. He thrust his cock deep into me again, sending another shockwave of pleasure through me. He leaned down, his mouth right at my ear as he grunted and groaned.

  “Fuck, you feel so good,” he said. “I forgot how good you feel, Hadley.”

  I couldn't form a coherent response, I only whimpered “Gabe,” as he continued fucking me from behind.

  “I'm going to make you mine,” he whispered. “I'm going to put a baby in you and make you mine, Hadley.”

  He shoved his dick deep inside of me when he said that, and a moment later, an animalistic growl thundered erupted from his throat. My pussy clenched tightly around his cock, my entire body quivering.

  “Yes, Gabe. Come inside me, please,” I whimpered.

  Another orgasm was building inside of me, and all that I needed to lose control was to know he was filling me with his warm, wet seed. I continued begging him to fill me up, to get me pregnant, and that was it. That was all he needed. Gabe grabbed onto my hair, straightening his back and burying his cock deep inside of me with one last, hard thrust, and a loud groan.

  “Fuck yes,” he moaned.

  Knowing he was coming, feeling it spurting inside of me, brought another orgasm crashing down over me. He lifted my ass up, and I took even more of him inside of me. Together, we rode out the pleasure, our bodies united as one. It was primal, letting nature take its course, knowing that this very act could give me what I wanted.

  Gabe remained sheathed inside me for a few seconds, then as he slipped out of me, he was careful to turn me over so I was on my side. He collapsed beside me, kissing my lips as he held me close.

  “God, I love you,” he said.

  My heart skipped a beat. Had he meant was he just said? Or was it just an emotional response from the amazing sex we'd just had? I couldn't be sure, but deep down, I knew that I loved him too. I never stopped loving him.

  “I – ” he stopped me by pressing his fingertip to my lips.

  “Shh. Don't say it unless you mean it,” he said.

  “

  The look on his face turned serious. “I never stopped loving you, Hadley. That's exactly why I don't want you to rush into saying it. I don't think my heart could handle it if you didn't really love me. Me and me alone.”

  That last part is what gave me pause. I did love him, but did I love only him? Well, no. I couldn't promise him that.

  “What do you want from me, Gabe?” I asked. “I can tell you I love you, but I love more than just you too.”

  “I was afraid of that,” he said, his voice soft.

  He closed his eyes and was silent for a while. I thought he might be asleep, but then he opened them again, and stared deep into my eyes.

  “What I want is for us to be a family. You, me, Grayson, and other children we have,” he said. “I know you want Grayson to have that too, and I'm willing to give that to you, Hadley. I'm willing to give you everything you've ever wanted. And more.”

  I sighed. I knew he meant it. Gabe had all the money a person could ever need – he really could give a woman the world. We both had always wanted a family, and he was so good with Grayson already. It could be perfect. Except, he wanted me to tell him I didn't love anyone else. That he was the only man in my heart.

  That would be a lie, and I didn’t want a relationship being based on lies.

  “I – I don't know if I can do that, Gabe,” I said.

  “I know,” he said. “I was hoping I was wrong. But, I knew you'd say that.”

  Gabe pulled away from and slipped out of my arms. He climbed out of bed, even as I tried to grab his arm and make him stay.

  “Listen to me, Gabe. It's just – my mind is a mess right now, and I don't want to make promises I can't keep,” I said. “You want me to love you and you alone, and I can't promise you that. I want to be honest with you.”

  He didn't say anything. He pulled his arm free from my grasp and stood up, pulling his pants on. I stood, trying to stop him from leaving.

  “Don't worry, I'll just be in the guest room,” he said. “I'm still taking Grayson to the zoo tomorrow. After that, I'm heading back home though.”

  I nodded. “I understand.”

  It hurt to see him like that, and I wanted to tell him it would all be okay. That everything would work out. But, that too, would be a lie. He needed his space right now. I needed to let him go. If I soothed him and convinced him to stay with me would only make things harder on him.

  Gabe surprised me by kissing my forehead gently and stroking my cheek.

  “I meant what I said, Hadley. I've never stopped loving you. But if the reason you left Castle Creek is because of me, please come home. Grayson deserves to have a family, and you know we'll love him just like our own back home.”

  With that, Gabe left my bedroom. I heard his footsteps retreating down the hall, and when he reached the guest room, I heard the door shut softly behind him, leaving me utterly alone. My heart broke for him, but more than that, it broke for me. I loved him. I wanted him.

  I just wanted more than just him though. Even though I knew it was wrong for everyone involved. It was selfish, but I couldn't help it.

  It was also selfish to keep Grayson away from his family. Gabe was right about that. I knew we should go home, at least to visit again.

  ooo000ooo

  After Gabe's visit, I got back into the groove of working. I needed the distraction, to be honest. Something to take my mind off all of the chaos swirling through my head. I returned some emails that I should have gotten to days ago. As I sorted through all of the work that had piled up on me, I started to wonder about the wisdom of putting things off like I'd been doing.

  Normally, I was very much on top of things.
Always had my ducks in a row, everything was organized, and I was rarely, if ever, behind. Ever since I'd decided to move back to Castle Creek though – and everything that had happened between then and now – I'd not really been myself. I was buried in work, behind on most everything, and my head was most definitely not in the game.

  I was beyond frustrated with myself and I needed to get back on the ball.

  Still, as I went through the mundane tasks that took up most of my day, I couldn't keep my mind from drifting back to Colorado – to that one night spent with three amazing men. The memory of it made that familiar warmth spread out through my body. I felt all the tingles the passion of that night inspired.

  I also felt all of the fear and uncertainty, all of the guilt and shame, that ravaged me in the days after.

  Gabe had said a lot of the right things. He'd put my mind at ease in a lot of ways. He raised some good and valid points. Not even I could deny that. Nor could I deny that it was good to see Gabe again. The connection we had was as strong and intense as it ever was. It just felt good – no, right – to be with him. Of course, it felt the same way being with both Evan and Jared too. I knew Gabe didn't like the idea of me being with them, but I couldn't deny the bond I had with them.

  The fact that Gabe wanted me to come back to Castle Creek, to start a family with him – I couldn't say the idea wasn't appealing. I couldn't say I wasn't tempted. But, it was a complicated situation. I cared for Gabe. I loved him. That wasn’t the question. I also loved his brothers, which only made the issue that much more complex.

  Getting up from my desk, I stretched a little bit and then rubbed my eyes. I'd been sitting there going through work stuff so long, I was getting stiff and felt like my eyes had crossed. I walked down the hallway to the bathroom and grabbed a couple of aspirin out of the cabinet.

  As I washed the pills down with a little water, I happened to see my box of tampons, and a stray thought passed through my mind – I hadn't gotten my period yet. After walking back into my office, I checked the calendar and realized I was a couple of days late. Ordinarily, my period was like clockwork. I never even had to think about it.

  Then again, I had been under a lot of stress lately. Stress does a lot of terrible things to a person's body. In the past, I'd had a couple of pregnancy scares turn out to be false alarms. I left the bathroom and walked to the kitchen to grab something to drink. The sound of small footsteps in the hallway behind me made me smile. The proverbial pitter-pat of little feet that never failed to warm my heart. Looking back at Grayson, I smiled. “How about some peanut butter and jelly, sweetheart?”

  He nodded and gave me a toothy little grin in return. “Yeah!”

  We walked into the kitchen and I lifted him up, setting him down on a stool at the center island. Going to the refrigerator, I pulled out the jelly, then went to the cabinets and grab some peanut butter and bread. Grayson was happily chatting away to himself as I made our lunch. After dropping some chips onto the plate, I sat it down in front of him.

  “Thank you, mama.”

  “You're welcome, baby.”

  He munched away in silence for a little while as I watched him, my mind consumed with thoughts of Chris and our life before – not to mention, plenty of thoughts about Gabe, Jared, and Evan. I groaned inwardly. I'd made a complete mess of everything. I'd thought I could handle it all, and although Gabe made sure to tell me nothing had changed and it was less of a shitstorm than I was making it out to be, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe I hadn't screwed everything or that they didn't all secretly hate me.

  “Is Gabe coming back soon?”

  I looked down at my precious little boy who had such a sweet, hopeful look on his face. It was surprising how quickly he had taken to the Walker boys. Then, maybe I shouldn't have been surprised. They were good men, and Grayson needed a father-figure in his life.

  “I'm not sure, baby,” I said.

  He looked down, an expression of sadness touching his small, delicate face. It was an expression that broke my heart. One I never wanted to see on my little boy's face.

  “I miss him,” he said.

  “I miss him too, Grayson,” I replied softly.

  The truth of the matter was that I did miss him, and his brothers. I missed them all fiercely. I was having a hard time reconciling my feelings for all three of them with the guilt and shame that overwhelmed me after that night. I hadn't expected to feel anything like that. Maybe, I wasn't as strong as I'd always thought.

  “I miss Grandma too,” he said softly.

  Tears welled in my eyes as his expression changed to one of pure misery. It made me start thinking about what Gabe had asked me. To come back. He'd said it didn't have to be permanent. To just come back for a visit and dip my toes back into the water. See if, maybe after a few days, I felt any better, about everything. He'd promised there would be no expectations if I came back. No promises. No guarantees. He just wanted me to come back, spend a little time there, and see if I felt any different about it all.

  I wasn't sure it was good for me to immerse myself back into that again. Not so soon after everything had happened, and I'd run away like a coward.

  Then, as I looked at my son, looked at the despair and longing on his face, I had to stop and reconsider. He desperately needed a strong male presence in his life. I could see the craving for it whenever I looked into his eyes. I knew that in Castle Creek, he'd have not just one, but three strong, male role models in his life.

  All three of them, Jared, Evan, and Gabe, had all taken a shine to my son. They all doted on him, and all took an active interest in his life. It was attention he was craving and desired. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't sweet watching them all interact together. They all got on so well and I could see that all three of the Walker boys cared about Grayson already.

  Was I a monster for keeping him from them? For keeping them from him? All because it made me uncomfortable? All because it made me feel guilty and ashamed of myself, knowing what I'd done with all three of them?

  Probably.

  It was that thought, and desperately wanting to see the smile back on my little boy's face, that made the decision for me.

  “Tell you what, baby,” I said. “Let's both go and pack a bag. We're going to go and visit Grandma and the guys. How about that?”

  Grayson's face immediately brightened, and I knew I'd made the right choice. Just seeing that unfettered joy in his face made my heart swell to the point I thought it might burst.

  “Yay!” he practically screamed.

  Putting our plates in the dishwasher, I took Grayson by the hand and led him upstairs to the bedrooms, where I helped him pack a bag. We were just going for a visit. A short visit. Nothing was guaranteed.

  ***

  I pulled the rental car into the driveway and shut the engine off. I looked into the back seat at Grayson, who was sound asleep. I knew when he woke up in the morning and saw that he was at his grandmother's house, he was going to be happy. Which, of course, made me happy.

  It's after ten, but the lights inside my mom's house were still burning bright. She was obviously up waiting for me. Feeling a tightness in my belly, I cast a look over at the Walker house, and saw that most of the windows were dark. Climbing out of the car, I opened the back door and picked Grayson up. Putting him over my shoulder, I closed the door quietly, irrationally hoping to avoid drawing any attention from the Walker house. Turning toward my mom's house, I saw her standing in the now open doorway. I carried Grayson to the house, figuring I'd just come back for our bags later.

  “Welcome back,” my mom said.

  “Hi, Mom,” I said, suddenly feeling a little awkward.

  My mom followed me into the house, closing the door behind us, as I carried Grayson up to his room. I laid him down on the bed and took his shoes off, setting them on the floor. He murmured wordlessly as I pulled the blankets up around him. Leaning down, I kissed him on the forehead and then backed out of the room, closing the door behind me
softly. Treading back downstairs quietly, I found my mom sitting in the living room, obviously waiting for me. I dropped down onto the loveseat that sat across from the sofa. She gave me a warm smile, though I saw a look of concern on her face.

  “So, do you think you'll be staying for a little while this time?” she asked, a sad tone tinging her voice.

  A soft smile touched my lips. In all of my own drama and the crap swirling around in my head, I hadn't stopped to really think about my mom. She was always so bright and upbeat that I sometimes forgot how deeply things impacted her. She'd been looking so forward to having Grayson and I back home, with her, and then because I was freaking out, I'd gone and vanished on her once again. I knew she got lonely in that big old house sometimes, but I didn't stop to think before I acted.

  My mom was always so giving and caring, always putting other people's needs and wants ahead of her own, that it was easy to not stop and think about her needs and wants. It was easy to take her for granted. Something, I was ashamed to admit, I did. Quite often.

  “Honestly, I'm not sure how long I'm going to be here, Mom,” I said. “I just wanted Grayson to get a chance to spend a little more time with you. And the Walker boys, of course. He's been asking about you all.”

  “Well, I'm sure it's been disorienting for him,” she said. “I mean, you were supposed to be coming back home for good. And then, just when he gets his mind around that, you up and take him away again.”

  As if I needed any more salt rubbed into those particular wounds. I looked down at my hands, picked some imaginary lint off my pants, and did everything I could to avoid meeting her eyes. She was right. I really had no defense. There was nothing I could say to that.

  “Why did you pack up and leave so fast, Hadley?”

  I finally looked up to find my mother's eyes boring into me. I suddenly felt like a teenager again, getting grilled for staying out late, or something like that.

  “Did it have something to do with Jared and Evan spending the night here?

  she asked. “Things just got – complicated,” was all I would say.

  “They always do with you, Hadley,” she said, a small laugh passing her lips. “Ever since you were a little girl, you've always seemed bound and determined to take the tougher path.”