Dropout

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  Just far too young to make the right decisions.

  But she wasn’t eighteen anymore, and this man wasn’t her husband.

  “I’m not in the mood to deal with you, Jason,” she said as she turned fully toward the group. Karly stood at Jason’s side while Anton was on his other side, his so-perfect wife on his arm, as well, silent and vacant-eyed as usual.

  “You weren’t in the mood for much, were you?” her ex-husband retorted. “I know why you lay on your back like a cold bitch for me, but why are you doing it for Cleary over here? He’s not going to get you anything but an STD.”

  “Jesus Christ,” Grayson growled from her side. “You’re a pathetic loser who can’t stand anyone not doing what you want, so you’re going to say those things to your ex-wife? For fuck’s sake, man, grow the fuck up.”

  Jason narrowed his eyes, and Kate instinctively went to grip Grayson’s hand, afraid of what would come next. Jason’s eyes caught the movement, and he glowered.

  “I should have had you expelled when I had the chance, Cleary. But it’s not like you mean anything to me now. You’re still a fucking loser who couldn’t finish a damn thing before and has nothing now. Nothing but a whore for a mother, a drunk of a father, and now, a slut for the weekend. I bet Kate couldn’t wait to spread her legs for you. Hell, I bet her panties dropped long before now.” He turned to Kate. “Were you fucking Cleary when you were with me? Hell, no wonder West looks more like you than me and the little shit isn’t as talented as the rest of my family. I bet the kid is Cleary’s and not mine.” His eyes brightened. “And if I whisper in the right ear, I know I’ll find a way out of the obscene amount of child support I have to pay for the two brats that do nothing but waste my time.”

  Kate hadn’t known she was going to do it until she felt the pain shoot through her arm and down her spine. Her fist had connected with Jason’s nose perfectly, the crunch beneath her knuckles sickening. She had to thank her high heels since, without them, she wouldn’t have been able to reach his perfectly plastic nose at the right angle.

  “Bitch!” Jason gurgled as the others surrounded him to take care of him. Grayson gripped her free hand and held her close, protecting her in case anyone retaliated.

  “Maybe I am, Jason, but I’m still a goddamn mother.” Tears stung, but she was far too angry to care if they fell down her cheeks. Fuck those who thought emotions were a weakness. Fuck them all. “Those are our babies you’re talking about. Jesus Christ. How much of an idiot was I to marry you, let alone have two children with you? I knew you hated me and never loved me, but I thought you had some semblance of decent paternal thought for your babies.” She rolled her shoulders back. “I have full custody of my children, Jason, and I’ll be damned if I let you hurt them.”

  “You don’t have enough money to pay for lawyers to fight us in court,” Karly spat.

  “Watch your weave, little girl,” Kate growled right back. “The bleach job is damaging your brain. Those are my kids. You come near them, I’ll gut you.” Grayson stood by her side, ready to fight with his fists—and she bet his words, as well—if she needed him. The fact that he’d not only stood up for her but also stood by and let her fight for herself spoke volumes.

  But it was too much all at once, and she couldn’t breathe.

  “I can’t do this,” she whispered. “We aren’t in high school anymore for Christ’s sake. We’re fucking adults, and I just punched a man. I just…I can’t do this.”

  And with that, she turned on her heels and ran out of the building, letting her mask fall at her feet as she did. The others might have watched her go, but she didn’t know. She just knew she couldn’t stand there anymore and listen to Jason spout his hurtful words, and Karly be her usual bitchy self. She couldn’t let Anton judge her anymore, and she couldn’t let herself get hurt over and over again by people who shouldn’t mean more to her than a past memory.

  But she’d also left Grayson behind with them, not knowing what else to do. He’d seen her at her worst, heard the accusations thrown at them by her ex, and she wasn’t sure she could face him.

  Why would he want her when she was such a screwup? She had more baggage than she thought possible for her age, and she knew the only thing she could do to protect her children and the man she cared about was to get away and make sure her babies were safe.

  She was too much for Grayson Cleary.

  Too much for herself.

  And maybe, one day, the pain of having had something so precious for such a short amount of time wouldn’t hurt as much as it did in that moment.

  Maybe, one day…but tonight, tonight she would let the pain in. Because if she had the agony flowing through her veins, she could at least feel something.

  And that was more than she’d had for ten years.

  Torture and all.

  Chapter Eight

  The others left quickly to tend to Jason’s nose, and all Grayson could do was stand there like an idiot, trying to get a handle on what had just happened. He knew Jason was an asshole, but hell, he hadn’t known the man could be that cruel to Kate.

  Grayson had wanted to step up and punch the man himself, and he’d never been more proud—and, honestly, surprised—that Kate had been the one to hit the guy. He wasn’t surprised that she’d stood up for herself since he knew she was far stronger than others gave her credit for, but he’d been damned surprised she’d used violence, especially after their talk a few moments ago.

  Their dance seemed like it had been ages ago, not just ten minutes. No wonder the two of them felt like they were on a rollercoaster holding on for dear life as they went through the curves at high speed.

  Hell, he’d let her walk away just then; only not because he wanted her to go, but because he’d wanted to make sure the others wouldn’t follow. If he didn’t hurry now, however, he’d miss her. And he’d be damned if he let what they had slip through his fingers.

  He threw his mask in the trash, picking up hers along the way, and met Leah’s gaze across the hall. He’d known she’d shown up at the dance, but in typical best friend fashion, they hadn’t needed words to know what the other was thinking.

  A nod from Leah. Go get your girl.

  A tightened jaw from Grayson. I hope I’m not too late.

  An eye roll from her. Then go outside already, dumbass.

  A sigh from him. On it. Don’t fuck up either.

  He knew she was going through her own problems, and yet she hadn’t leaned on him for help yet. He’d be there for her when she needed him—he’d come to the damn reunion, after all—but now, he needed to see Kate.

  For once, he would do what was best for him—for them—and try not to let everything fall away before he could fix it.

  He opened the double doors that led out into the parking lot and looked for the pale green dress Kate had been wearing. She’d looked so fucking sexy when he’d first seen her—like something out of a damn movie. He’d literally had to catch his breath before he could move closer to her and wrap his arms around her.

  He couldn’t let her leave him. Not yet. And, hopefully, not ever.

  “You’re just going to walk away and let your woman fight for you?” Jason shouted from behind him. At least, that’s what he thought the other man said as Grayson turned around to face him and Anton. Since he had blood pooling out of a paper towel from under his nose, the words had come out all garbled.

  Grayson shook his head. “You’re not serious.”

  Anton narrowed his eyes. “You were trash then, and you’re trash now. Just go back to where you came from, Cleary.”

  “We’re not in fucking high school anymore, guys. There aren’t any teachers that are going to put me in detention for beating the shit out of you two.” Their eyes widened. “And, yeah, I could probably take both of you. I work with my hands every damn day, and that might make me some blue-collar, white trash punk to you, but that means I can lift way more than you and fight dirty if I have to. You’ve both been sitting on your ass
es for so long, looking down at people like Kate and me, when we’re the ones that you need so you can go about your pampered lives. So fuck you both.” Grayson slid his hands into his pockets like he didn’t have a care in the world, even though he was ready to pounce if necessary. “You mean absolutely nothing to me, and I won’t mind hitting you if I have to, but I’m pretty sure Kate already took care of that for the both of us.”

  Jason’s eyes narrowed, but Anton put his hand on the other man, stopping him. Grayson wasn’t sure what the dentist said, but the group turned away, and Grayson let out a breath. Shit, that had taken far too long, and he hoped he could still catch up to Kate…whereever she was.

  A flash of green caught his attention, and he turned slightly to see her standing by his truck of all places, her gaze on him. He ran to her, not knowing what he would say, but knowing he needed to say something.

  “Hell of a jab,” he blurted when he stopped right in front of her. Instead of putting his hands into his pockets again like he probably should do, he reached out and slid his hands over her arms. It wasn’t that cold since it was the middle of summer in Texas, but once the sun went down, there was enough of a chill on non-humid days to feel the bite.

  “I can’t believe I hit him,” she whispered, her body shaking, and he let out a curse. He quickly took off his jacket and wrapped it around her bare shoulders, annoyed with himself for letting her get this cold.

  “He deserved it, baby. You know that. I would have hit him for you, but I figured you had it handled.”

  She looked up at him all big-eyed and wrapped up in his coat. “What kind of message does that send to my kids that I’d hit their father like that.”

  He narrowed his eyes, his jaw clenched. “Jason’s not going to tell anyone you hit him. It’ll hurt his pride to say a woman bested him. And neither of us is ever going to mention it to West and Lili. Nor will we ever utter a word about what Jason said tonight. They don’t deserve that pain, and neither do you.” He didn’t find it odd that he was talking like he’d be in the kids’ lives beyond this night, and that, in itself, was odd.

  She shook her head. “We’re moving so fast, Grayson. I’m scared.”

  He let out a breath and met her gaze. “We keep saying things are moving too fast and yet they keep moving. Maybe there is a reason for that.”

  She gave him a small smile, but he saw the worry in her gaze. “What are we doing, Grayson? I keep asking that, and yet we keep running away from the fact that we don’t know.”

  He shook his head. “We’re something. Deep down, I know that. I’ve never been in love before, Kate, but I know I could fall in love with you. Hell, I’m halfway there already.”

  Her eyes widened. “That’s a huge step, Grayson.”

  He cupped her face. “Yeah? And what do you feel for me? If there weren’t any other issues surrounding us, if we didn’t have to worry about your babies or geography, what do you feel for me? What could you feel for me?” He knew he had to push it just then, even if it might break him to hear the answer. He’d been through so much hell in his life, but in that moment, he just knew it had all been because he needed her.

  “I existed, Kate. I just was before I came back and saw you. Now, I want more. I don’t want to just be, I want to grow, I want to find out who I am when I’m with you. I want to feel more than just the day-to-day of breathing and living. I want to love you, Kate. I want that chance.” He paused, his heart racing. “Now, tell me. What could you feel for me?”

  “I could fall for you,” she whispered. “And just like you, I’m already falling in love with you. But I thought I fell in love once, and I almost ruined everything because I was wrong. I don’t want to do that again.”

  He lowered his head to press his forehead against hers. “I can stay.” He’d said the words before, and he’d meant them, but it hurt to say them. He hated Catfish Creek and everything that went with it, but for Kate, for a future with her, he’d stay.

  “You’d hate it.” She kissed him softly before pulling back. “I’d hate it, too.”

  His eyes widened. “You don’t want me to stay?” Pain slapped at him, and he did his best not to show it, but he knew he’d failed.

  She reached up and put her hand on his chest over his heart. “That’s not what I meant. I’d hate that you would hurt if you stayed.” She looked away from him, a frown marring her face. “I’d started to hate it here, too. Even before you came back. Only Rae and Tessa actually liked me for me until you. Everyone else saw what I didn’t do, instead of what I did. It was killing me slowly every day, and frankly, I knew I wanted something more.”

  She took a deep breath and met his gaze. He reached out and took her hands, just needing to touch her even if this was the end—but damn if he wanted it to be the last of it.

  “I don’t know who I am anymore sometimes, but I know staying here isn’t an option.”

  He froze. “What does that mean, Kate? You’re going to have to explain that statement.”

  She sighed. “I was going to tell you before Jason and the others showed up, but here goes.” She met his gaze, a determination showing on her face that he liked. “Before this…before everything, I applied to three universities out of state that had the programs and stipends I wanted. I received notice that I got into all three this week—each of them offering to pay for everything and pay for me to go so I can take care of the kids, as well.” She let out a breath. “Nebraska, Wyoming, and…Denver.”

  He blinked. “Denver? Holy hell, no wonder you were confused.” Everything clicked into place, and it was all he could do not to hold her close. “You are so fucking amazing, baby. You got into three schools that not only want you, but want you so much that they’re going to help you out? I’m so proud of you. No wonder you’ve been freaking out. I know you said it was tough with your parents and the way the others treated you, but now you have a chance to start over, but if one of the schools is Denver, I can see how that made it hard for you.” He shook his head, squeezing her hands. “Because you thought if you took that offer, you might be taking it for me rather than yourself. Like you did with Jason.”

  He tried not to get his hopes up, tried not to think too hard about what it could mean if she moved to Denver because he couldn’t be part of that decision. He couldn’t. But he’d damn well make sure she knew he would be there for her no matter what.

  Kate looked up at him, her mouth open. “How…how on earth do you know me so well?”

  He slid his thumb over her jaw. “You know me, too, Kate. And, yeah, I guess that’s kinda scary, isn’t it?”

  “You aren’t going to ask what school I chose?”

  He lowered his head, brushing his lips against hers softly. “I know which one I want you to choose, but I also know that it’s your decision and you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

  She kissed him hard then, their bodies pressed so close together he knew he could lean her against his truck and have his way with her in an instant.

  “I chose Denver, Grayson.”

  His heart thudded in his ears. “Yeah?” he croaked.

  She ran her hands over his face and through his beard. He might have cleaned up enough for the dance, but he hadn’t been about to shave. Plus, he knew Kate liked it.

  “It’s the best place for my kids, the best school and money for me. And, Grayson? It has you. I know, I know I’m not making my decision just because of you, but I can’t lie and say you’re not part of it. Because you’re part of everything, and I’ll never deny that.”

  He kissed her hard, his pulse racing. “You’re going to fucking love Denver.”

  She grinned up at him. “Yeah? You’ll show me all the best places to eat and help me decide on things if I get confused?”

  He nodded. “Of course, but knowing you, you’ll have a color-coordinated list of everything and will probably show me a few things.”

  She laughed. “I can’t believe I’m doing this, but the kids are ready to leave. We’ve alread
y talked about it a little. I had wanted to wait to talk to you until I spoke to them, specifically about Denver, but they hate it here. I know moving them again after only a couple of years of being here is going to suck, but I’m going to do my best to make sure they have everything they need.”

  “I know you will. That’s why you’re a great mom. And, Kate? While you’re doing that, I’ll make sure you have what you need.”

  She smiled widely, her eyes huge. “We’re really doing this.”

  He kissed her again. “We are.”

  “And…it’s not just for me, but it is for me. And you. It’s for my kids. For myself. And for us…for what we could be.”

  He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her hard. They were so far away from anything solid, but he knew this step meant something. He had the woman he’d fallen for too young in his arms, the same one he had started falling for again in all the right ways too fast. Even if she was moving up to Denver, he knew she wouldn’t be moving in with him and, honestly, he didn’t want that. They needed time to be together, and that was what they had been worrying about anyway. As long as there wasn’t the horrible distance, they could deal with time.

  He’d show her exactly the man he’d become, and he’d find out every single little thing about her. He couldn’t wait to unveil it all.

  He might have left Catfish Creek a dropout and a loser, but he’d be leaving again with the one thing he hadn’t thought to find here.

  Hope.

  He ran a hand over Kate’s side. “Want to do something we never did in high school?”

  She raised a brow. “Why does that sound ominous?”

  “All you have to do is trust me, Kate.”

  She slid her hand into his. “Trust? That I can do for you, Grayson. Always.”

  And if that didn’t make him fall for her, he didn’t know what would.

  “That’s it, Kate, ride me.” He gripped her hips, thrusting up into her wet heat as she clung to him.

  “I’m going to hit my head on the ceiling again,” she teased, even as she clenched her inner muscles.