I chose Phillip over Jimmy. Yay for me!
I hear Julie talking to me.
“JJ, what are you thinking about so hard?”
“Um, just about what you were saying. You’re right. None of Phillip’s girlfriends have ever liked me much.”
She smiles big at me. She likes being right.
“They were jealous of you. Phillip has feelings for you that are very strong, and feelings like that are hard to hide. Ashley told me just the other day that she thinks Phillip has always been in love with you.”
“I know. I think I’ve always felt the same way.”
Oh, crap!
I can’t believe that just slipped out of my mouth!
She really smiles at that.
Boy, she is good, that sneaky woman.
Somehow—maybe she put truth serum in the brownies—she’s already gotten me to admit that I love Phillip.
She should be an interrogator.
She’d feed people sweets and have them confessing to everything before they even realized what she was up to.
I’ve already said enough to incriminate myself, and she is the closest thing to a mom that I have, so I might as well tell her the rest of the truth.
Cause this is the part that worries me.
This is the chicken shit part.
“I’ve been kind of afraid to do anything about how I feel because I don’t want to mess things up and lose him. Lose our friendship. Because that I couldn’t take.”
She gets out a bottle of wine, uncorks it, and pours me half a glass.
“You shouldn’t think of it as losing your friend, dear. You should look at it as gaining something a whole lot better.”
I look at the half glass of wine in front of me. God, she’s got visuals.
“That’s kind of like the whole is the glass half empty or is it half full thing, huh?”
She raises an eyebrow at me. I’m afraid if I don’t succumb, she may stoop to torture.
“I get it,” I say, laughing and holding up my hands in defeat. “Really, I get it.”
Then she walks over to a bookcase in the family room, pulls a picture frame off the shelf and sets it in front of me.
The picture is of Phillip and me together as babies.
We’re naked, of course.
I wonder if our parents ever stopped to think there might be something slightly wrong about having us naked together all the time. Maybe I need to go to a shrink and have them hypnotize me to pull out my early memories. Maybe it’s their fault I can’t commit.
I consider saying this for a second, but think better of it and just look at the picture.
Another visual.
I have to wonder. Did she plan all this, or is she just winging it? Because if she’s winging it then I need to sign up for lessons on manipulation from this woman. I have always considered it one of my stronger skills, but I realize I’m a total novice compared to her.
I look at the picture again. You know, this is the first time in my life I haven’t flinched or cringed upon seeing a picture like this.
God, I must have grown up somewhere along the way.
I surprise myself by thinking that I now agree with what Mom always used to say.
You and Phillip are just so adorable.
We would probably have beautiful children.
Whoa.
Wait.
Did I really just think that?
I am shocked at the things my own mind has been thinking lately. It’s like it has a mind of its own!
I must have been smiling at the picture a little too dreamily.
“You would have adorable children,” Julie says, reading my mind.
Evidently that talent does run in the family.
“That’s part of the reason why I made all the snacks for your party.”
“So Phillip and I can have an adorable baby?”
You’ve got to be kidding.
She laughs. “Well, not exactly. I just thought it would be nice if you could spend some time alone together. I think it would be good for both of you. And, while you’re at it, would you please tell Phillip how you feel about him? That Monica girl drives me nuts.”
I smile at that. Cuz, me too.
And then she gets a big smile on her face and adds, “And I guess if I get a grandbaby out of the deal, all the better.”
I knew she had an ulterior motive.
This whole conversation is very unexpected and sort of weird, but a lot of her comments hit home. But I really didn’t need any convincing; I had already decided.
I want Phillip, and I’m not going to let anyone, even Moaning Monica, get in my way.
Scratch that.
I am more grown up than that.
Monica is not the problem.
I am.
And this time, I’m not going to let myself get in the way.
Mrs. Mac looks at the clock and gasps, “Oh, look at the time! Is there anything else I need to take?” She refers to her spreadsheet. “Summer sausage. I almost forgot. JJ, will you run out to the garage freezer and get two packages of summer sausage?”
“Sure.” I mean, it’s the least I can do.
So I go out to the garage. They have one of those huge chest style freezers. The kind that you can fall into and never be found, until someone else needs something frozen.
I hate these things.
And, of course, I see that the summer sausage is at the very bottom in the back.
Figures.
I’m leaning over, bent practically in half, trying to reach it.
And the stupid garage door is open. I hear blaring music coming from up the street. I recognize one of my favorite songs.
Great. It’s getting louder. I suppose the new cute neighbor boy is gonna drive by and see my butt stuck clear up in the air like this. Not a pretty picture.
I almost have my hands on the sausage, when Honk! A car horn scares me and I very nearly fall in.
I manage to work my way back upright and turn around to see Phillip driving into the garage in his recently purchased little red BMW Z3. He’s got the top down, the music blaring, and his hair is all messed up.
God, he looks sexy!
It is at that moment, I decide I’m done thinking.
Click.
Brain officially turned off, body officially turned on.
Yikes!
I walk over to Phillip’s car door, turn my back to it, jump up over the door, and land with my butt on his lap and my legs dangling over the side.
That was kinda slick. I didn’t know that doing the high jump in track would come in so handy someday!
Phillip catches me and says, “You know, I think I could get used to seeing your butt hanging out of the freezer every day when I come home.” He gives me a big wonderful smile and says, “I was hoping you were already here.”
His arm is holding up my back, and he’s looking into my eyes.
“Yeah, well you might change your mind when I tell you about the real interesting conversation I’ve been having with your mother.”
“Really? About what?” The way he asks makes me wonder if he already knows exactly what we were talking about. His voice has this, You’re going to tell me a dirty joke, aren’t you, tone to it.
“You.”
“Uh oh,” he says, although he doesn’t sound the least bit worried.
I pull my legs into the car, tuck them under me, and flip around so I am facing him. It’s more comfortable, plus I like looking straight into his eyes.
“Yeah,” I say, poking my finger into his chest. “Uh oh, for you.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well, I think she wants me to try to seduce you.”
“Keep sitting on me like this and you won’t have to try very hard.” His eyes are playful.
Oh.
I look down and realize not only is this a more comfortable way to sit, it’s also significantly more intimate.
I’m straddling the poor guy.
Sh
ame on me!
He laughs. “In fact, you’ll be lucky if I let you out of this car.”
I smile at him, trying to make him think I was smart enough to plan it that way.
“Oh come on, Phillip, I thought you’d play at least a little hard to get. Be a challenge.”
He looks at me seriously. “What are you trying to say?”
I let my voice drop its playful tone because he needs to know I am not joking around about this. “Look, you said I’d have to come to you. So here I am, and you’d better write this down because it doesn’t happen very often: I admit it. I was wrong, and you were right. I didn’t really try in Mexico. I was scared and stupid and I preferred to have you mad at me than not with me at all.”
“I know this.” He is softening, but still has a stern look in his eyes. “So, no holding back this time?”
“That’s right,” I state firmly, with a nod of my head.
“And no games?”
“What? Am I gonna have to get a lawyer? I think maybe you need to make some concessions too. You did leave me with two strange guys.”
“Fine. What do you want?”
“No bossiness,” I say with a sweet smile.
“Deal.” He is grinning from ear to ear, and I can tell this makes him happy, but evidently he is still not completely convinced because he lowers his voice and says, “So you’re really going to give this a try? A real try?”
“No, Phillip, I’m so through trying. I am doing.”
I curl my fingers into his shirt, pull him closer, and plant a big kiss on his lips. I keep kissing and kissing and kissing him.
I’m kissing him with every ounce of pent up passion I’ve been holding inside me for however long I’ve loved him. His hands are in my hair, so it’s hard to determine right now when that exactly was. Oh, who cares? This just feels so incredibly right.
Finally, I think.
I may never stop kissing Phillip.
Ever.
Of course, it is at this moment that I’m startled by another loud, echoing, Honk, Honk!
I open my eyes and slowly tear my lips away from Phillip’s. His dad is honking and turning into the driveway.
Phillip grins at me, but his eyes are smoldering. “Dad followed me home from the office. I was under strict orders from Mom to make sure he got here on time. They’re heading to Lincoln tonight with the Diamonds.”
“Yeah, your mom told me,” I say back, still staring into his eyes. We’re just sitting here staring at each other, and I know I should probably move, or get out of the car, or something, but I sort of don’t want to. I’m afraid I might break the spell.
Something special just happened here, I think.
Just then, Phillip’s mom walks out into the garage and says, “JJ, did you fall in the freezer?” She sees me sitting on Phillip’s lap, in the rather intimate position, laughs, and shakes her head. “You work fast. Heck, if I’d known my powers of persuasion worked so well, I would have suggested this to you years ago.”
I’m embarrassed, to say the least, but, hey, she kind of asked for it.
I extricate myself from Phillip’s lap, and we both get out of the car.
I notice that he can’t seem to take his eyes off of me. In fact, he is gazing at me with such intensity that it’s making me blush.
Thank God, the Diamonds pull up in the RV. Mrs. Mac becomes a drill sergeant. She knows something has happened and wants everyone out of there quick. They get everything loaded up and leave.
Phillip and I are all alone.
Finally!
I’m sitting on the kitchen counter, and he is standing between my legs, his arms wrapped around me.
“Well,” Phillip says, trying to be practical, “what do we have to do to get ready for this party?”
You’ve got to be kidding me!
I know Phillip is very practical and always needs to get everything finished and in order.
But, come on! Isn’t this what he wanted?
Okay. Fine. I guess I’ll just have to persuade him not to be so practical.
So I start kissing him, but it’s not working quite as planned, because, although he is kissing me back, in between kisses he is asking me questions.
“Did you go to the grocery store?”
Kiss.
“No.”
“Did you pick up the beer?”
Long kiss.
“No.”
“Did you make a list?”
Longer kiss.
“No.”
“Did you do anything?”
“Not yet.”
Then I jump off the counter, lead that boy up to his room, and lock the door.
It’s time to finally do what everyone seems to think we have already done.
A few hours later, he remembers the party. “You know, we really need to get out of bed. There must be a ton of stuff to do.”
“Actually, we have nothing to do. Your mom made everything. I think she was hoping this is exactly where we would spend our time. She really did suggest that I seduce you. It may even be on my list.”
“I can’t believe she said that.” He tilts his head. “You know, come to think of it, I had a suspiciously similar conversation with Ashley today. She was a little less blunt though. She said I needed to get off my ass and do something. I think they were working in tandem.”
“So were you going to?” I ask. Because I really need to know.
“Going to what?
“Do something.”
“I’m pretty sure I already did,” he laughs, as he traces my jawline with his finger.
I smile, remembering exactly all that he did, but that’s not what I meant. “I mean, if I hadn’t completely thrown myself at you, what would you have done?”
“Well, as stubborn as you are, I probably would’ve had to throw you over my shoulder and carry you up here, kicking and screaming.”
I give him my mad face.
“But then,” he says, as he kisses my shoulder, “I would have done something like this. And something like this.” He kisses my neck. “And something like this.” He kisses my ear. “And something like this . . . ”
Okay. I get the picture.
And I am so loving the way it looks.
A few more hours later and we’re both starving.
For food, I mean.
It’s nearly ten o’clock and, well, we never did get any dinner. I run downstairs to raid the refrigerator and bring up a tray of cheese, some crusty bread, and a bottle of red wine.
“Isn’t that supposed to be for the party?”
“There is so much food I don’t think anyone will miss it.”
“Probably not, but I missed you while you were gone, Princess. You were down there much too long.”
“It only took me about two minutes.” I shake my head and roll my eyes at him, while I set the tray on his nightstand.
“Two minutes too long,” he replies as he grabs me, throws me on the bed, and kisses me.
“Phillip,” I say, finally wrenching my lips away from him, “it’s taken you twenty-two years to get me into bed, two minutes should feel like a blip.”
“Twenty-two years? Don’t flatter yourself. Maybe like eight years.” He gives me a naughty grin. “But I’ll tell you this: now that you’re finally here, I’m not wasting another second.”
YES!!!
We feed each other cheese and bread and drink some wine.
Unfortunately, the crusty bread was not the best choice because now there are crusty crumbs all over, and I really thought I was being careful to avoid that. Since his mom is such the expert on all things seduction, I’m surprised she didn’t tell me about this. I use my hand to try to sweep the crumbs onto a plate.
“Remind me to properly thank my mother for making the food and for whatever it was the two of you talked about.”
“Phillip, I had already decided about this before I got here,” I smile naughtily, “but I am following her advice to relax and enjoy you.”
/> He laughs. “So, did you, uh, enjoy me?”
“Uh, yeah, very much so.” I kiss his neck and whisper in his ear, “And I think I would very much like to enjoy you some more. Right now.”
I’m lying all snuggled up with Phillip. He’s sleeping and his breath is tickling my neck. I know I should be getting some sleep too, but I can’t.
My brain decided to kick back on now that my body is so worn out.
I just keep thinking how incredibly happy I am. I want to pinch myself to make sure it’s not a dream. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Part of me kind of wants to kick myself for not doing this sooner, but I don’t. I’m too happy. I feel . . . well, it’s hard to describe, but I’ll give it a try.
You know how sometimes you go shopping and find a great dress? You try it on and it fits you and looks great on you in the store. So you buy it and take it home.
But then when you put it on because you are getting ready to go somewhere, you feel like it’s just not quite right.
Like maybe something is missing.
So you keep looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to figure out what it could be, what it needs. You try on different shoes, another hairstyle, some dangly earrings, a rhinestone necklace, maybe even a wrap. But no matter how you seem to mix it up, there is still something missing.
Oh you’ll look good, maybe even great, in the dress.
Just not fabulous.
You won’t have that glowing look because deep down you’re not confident in the dress.
That’s kind of how it felt with all the boys I’ve dated in the past.
Something was always missing.
I’d try to rearrange them, or me, or what I was doing, but no matter what, I couldn’t quite get it right. And the fix is a really mysterious thing.
I think it’s because the fix is an emotion. A feeling. It’s not really a tangible item.
I mean, I’ve made a few drunken mistakes.
Who hasn’t?
Well, okay. Phillip. But he is so not normal when it comes to that sort of thing.
He’s always in complete control.
And I have to say, it’s always been a trait of his that sort of bugged me. I’m always trying to get him to loosen up. But tonight, I learned there are many benefits to being with a man who’s in control.
Ahhhhh.
Oh, sorry, I got lost there for a minute.
Kiss Kiss Page 159