“Of course I do.” Her eyes softened at the memory.
“My little social butterfly,” Clay reached across the table for her hand.
“My little wallflower,” she responded with a laugh.
“Good evening,” a voice boomed between them. “I’m Becky and I’ll be your waitress tonight.” Her smile was big and her teeth, a perfect shade of white. Her long black hair was pulled into a slick ponytail that accented her cheekbones. She wore a white button-down shirt and black slacks. Caroline noticed that she wore a black bowtie as well and thought to herself how cute it looked.
Becky gently placed a small wicker basket in the center of the table before asking, “Can I start you off with something to drink?” She looked from Caroline then back to Clay.
Clay looked at Caroline. “Care, would you like some wine?”
Caroline took a quick breath. She hadn’t even looked at the wine menu yet. “Um, sure. Do you have any recommendations? I like the sweet stuff,” Caroline said with a chuckle.
Becky smiled and her large hazel eyes seemed to smile as well. “We have a really nice Riesling or a Gewürztraminer. They’re both really sweet.”
“Which one do you prefer?” Caroline wondered.
“Um, personally, I like the Gewürztraminer the best.”
Caroline eyed Clay who nodded his head in approval. “Okay. Let’s do that,” she chirped.
“Would you like a glass or a bottle?”
“We’ll take a bottle, thanks,” Clay answered.
“Great, I’ll be right back.” Becky turned to walk toward the large oak bar.
“Happy birthday, baby.” Clay looked longingly into her eyes and Caroline felt herself get uncomfortable as thoughts of Jackson invaded her mind with a vengeance. She struggled to fight them off.
“Thanks, babe.”
Caroline peeled back the forest green cloth napkin in the basket and revealed a small loaf of fresh bread. The warmth rose briskly to her fingertips and she pulled her hand back.
“Ah, that’s hot,” she waved her fingers back and forth.
“I’ll get it for you.” Clay gestured politely as he tore a chunk from the loaf and placed it on a small plate. “Here you go, baby.” He scooted the plate toward her.
“Thank you.” Caroline reached for the glass that held olive oil and poured a small amount onto her plate. “This is cute,” she said, referencing the hand painted olives and sunflowers that adorned the bottle.
Becky quickly returned with the wine and two glasses. She placed a glass in front of each of them and proceeded to pour a small amount of wine into each one. Clay swirled the wine around in the glass and then sniffed it before trying the sample.
Caroline grabbed her glass and took a sip. “It’s so sweet. I love it!”
Becky stifled a laugh and turned her attention toward Clay, who smiled at his girlfriend. “It’s good, thanks.”
Becky filled their glasses. “Are you ready to order or would you like a few more minutes?”
Clay eyeballed Caroline. “I’m ready if you are.”
Caroline nodded before ordering the seafood and pasta special. Clay waited until she handed the waitress her menu and then ordered some sort of fish dish that made Caroline laugh.
She looked up, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “Sorry, that’s just a funny name.”
Once Becky turned her back, Clay grabbed his wine glass and lifted it from the white linen tabletop. “Happy birthday, Caroline. I love you.” He smiled before glancing upward. “And cheers to you, Johnny. We miss you, brother. Wish you were here.”
Caroline felt her chest deflate. “To Johnny. I miss you so much.” She tried to focus on her smile, but felt the moisture rushing to her eyes.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.” Clay reached for her hand across the table.
“It’s okay. It was a really sweet gesture.”
“Know what you want for dessert?” Clay changed the subject, his voice bright.
Caroline knew he was desperate for her to be happy on today of all days, so she went along. “I didn’t even look at the menu yet, but definitely something chocolate-y!” Her mind bounced around from thoughts of Johnny to thoughts of Jackson; two people who brought pain to her heart for vastly different reasons.
“Chocolate it is, then,” Clay agreed.
When dinner was over and Caroline had convinced Clay she couldn’t eat another bite of their chocolate lava cake dessert, he stood from the table and helped her to her feet.
“I think that was the best meal of my life,” Caroline commented. “Thank you so much for dinner, Clay. This place is beautiful.”
He kissed the top of her hand. “You’re welcome. Happy birthday.”
As they walked hand in hand toward the exit of the restaurant, Clay started to reposition the jacket he was holding. “Here, take my jacket,” he said as he wrapped his suit jacket around her shoulders. “I want to show you one more thing.”
“What is it?” Caroline asked, intrigued.
Clay walked her toward the cliff edge of the restaurant as the sound of water crashing filled her ears. She listened to the ocean ebb and flow with harsh intensity and marveled at how much peace it brought her senses.
Clay stopped at the balcony that overlooked the bluff and held her in the warmth of his arms.
“You know how much I love you, don’t you?” he whispered into her ear.
Caroline turned to face him. “Of course I do,” she told him convincingly, completely unaware of his intentions.
Suddenly, Clay dropped down to one knee, and Caroline’s stomach turned with equal parts excitement and fear. He held open a dark box; even in the moonlight Caroline saw the contents sparkle wildly. He spoke words she barely heard over the sound of her own heart pounding in her ears.
“Caroline Weber, will you make me the happiest man alive and do me the honor of being my wife?” She heard those last words loud and clear before the silence that followed.
She was shocked and caught off guard. Then disbelief, happiness, sadness, excitement, fear, and elation dashed through her very being. Her mind raced through what felt like a million thoughts and questions simultaneously.
He wasn’t supposed to be proposing already. It was too soon. She wasn’t ready. Did Clay really want to marry her? She didn’t deserve him. She was lucky to have him. Was this even what she wanted? How could this amazing guy want to spend the rest of his life with her? Was he crazy? She was definitely crazy.
And then guilt crept inside her mind, quickly followed by images of Jackson.
Jackson.
The thought of him almost stopped her heart completely. Her knees started to shake forcefully and she reached for the cold iron railing, bracing herself against it. Another thought of Jackson caused her stomach to lurch violently and she briefly contemplated the notion that she might actually get sick right there on that balcony.
How had she come so far from where she had always intended to be, which was right here, in this moment with Clay? She knew she couldn’t possibly tell him ‘no.’ How could she? Oh sorry, honey, but I’ve been talking to some other guy and I think I might really like him? Of course she had to say ‘yes.’ What other choice was there?
It seemed as though minutes passed in Caroline’s hesitation to answer, but they were mere seconds in reality. She looked down at her boyfriend, who looked uncomfortable being on one knee, and told him with a smile, “Of course I’ll marry you.”
Clay’s eyes lit up as he gently slipped the diamond ring onto her finger. Caroline marveled at how large the square diamond looked on her hand. She immediately understood why women fell in love with them. “So sparkly,” she said out loud, transfixed by its shine.
Clay hesitated and then asked, “Do you like it?”
“It’s unbelievable,” Caroline admitted, her eyes still glued to her left hand.
Clay picked Caroline up in his arms, breaking her gaze. No longer bewitched by its sparkle her mind
quickly returned to the image of Jackson’s face. Unable to fight her emotions any longer she allowed the tears to spill out.
Clay kissed the side of her wet face and repeated, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” she told him, as her heart sank.
Chapter Ten
Jackson looked down at his phone and felt his heart race as he saw Caroline’s name flash across the screen. He pushed the Talk button and said, “It’s stupid how happy it makes me to see your name on my phone.”
She laughed slightly. “Hey, Jackson,” her tone of voice was apprehensive and he knew immediately that something was wrong.
His heart raced wilder now and his stomach felt like it had dropped to his feet. “What’s up?”
The pause between his question and her answer made his brow start to bead with sweat. He breathed quicker as he heard her blurt out, “Clay asked me to marry him last night.”
Jackson leaned the back of his head against the wall harder than he had intended. He took a long, deep breath. “Well, what did you say?”
She didn’t respond and the silence between them made Jackson nervous. His voice shook when he asked her again, “Caroline. What’d you say?”
He heard nothing except the sound of her breath in his ear. He slammed his free fist into the floor beside him and shouted, “Caroline!”
His voice broke as he pleaded one last time, “Oh, Caroline, what did you say?”
He heard her swallow hard. “I said yes.”
Jackson blocked out the sound of her tears as his heart felt like it stopped working and he struggled to catch air. His shock quickly turned to anger as he slammed his head against the wall one last time with such force that it knocked a picture down. It crashed down violently a few feet from where he sat, but he didn’t move an inch. “I have to go.”
“Jackson, wait! I only…” He hung up before she finished.
Dazed and heartbroken, Jackson walked somberly into the living room. He grabbed an old record and slid it from its protective white paper wrapping. Gently, he placed it on the now antique record player his grandfather used to own. He watched the record spin for a moment, fascinated by the way the needle of the player bobbed up and down with the grooves of the track.
Then he walked into the kitchen, grabbed a shot glass out of the cabinet and a bottle of tequila. Jackson rarely drank to the point of getting drunk, but tonight—there would be no stopping him.
Jackson lost himself in the old records, appreciating the music and songwriting of the past. Lyrics about heartbreak spilled from the speakers and Jackson did little to stop the tears. The picture of him and Caroline from the flight that day sat on top of the wood, a glaring reminder of what he’d just officially lost.
“How could you?” he asked the picture. “You can’t want to marry him. You just can’t.” He poured the amber liquid into the tiny glass repeatedly, wincing with each one he threw down his throat. He rested his head on his forearms and let the tears spill out around him.
Just then, his roommate Alex walked through the door. He heard the song blaring while outside and knew something was wrong. He saw Jackson sitting at the table, his head buried.
“Parks?” Alex said, calling Jackson by his last name. “Man, you okay? What’s going on?” Alex walked toward the table and leaned against a chair.
Jackson looked up from the table slowly. His eyes were beet red and his face was flushed. Pieces of dark hair appeared to be glued to his forehead. He poured another amber shot and chugged it without saying a word.
“Enough with the tequila.” Alex grabbed the bottle, glanced at how much was gone and quickly put it back in the cupboard. “What happened, man? Talk to me.”
Alex watched Jackson stare at the picture of him and Caroline, refusing to look away from the green eyes that looked back at him. Jackson rubbed her image with his thumb and started to tighten his fist. Just as quickly as the photo had started to ball up, he slammed it down against the flat table top and pressed his palm across it to smooth it back out.
Alex left the room and Jackson overheard him on the phone.
“He’s playing a record,” Alex said.
“Shit. Really?” Tommy asked.
“Really,” Alex said in a matter-of-fact tone.
“What the hell happened?” Tommy knew Jackson only put his grandfather’s old record player to use when he reminisced about the past or when he was destroyed emotionally. The only other times he remembered it playing was when Jackson got the news that his grandfather had died, the day of the funeral, and when he missed the old man so much it hurt.
“I have no idea. He won’t talk,” Alex said.
“I’ll be right there. Shit.” Tommy hung up and Alex headed back into the kitchen.
“Tommy’s on his way. You wanna tell me what’s going on?” By now Alex knew it had something to do with Caroline. Jackson knew Alex supported his feelings about her and had sincerely thought they would end up together. He had told Jackson on more than one occasion that he hoped it would work out between them.
Jackson looked up at his friend. He wiped at his eyes, but refused to speak. The truth was, he didn’t want to have to tell this story more than once, so he silently waited for Tommy’s arrival.
Tommy barged through the door, took one look at Jackson and asked harshly, “What the hell happened? You look like shit.”
“Asshole,” Alex barked.
Jackson looked down at the table and tried to control his emotions. He didn’t want to cry in front of his friends, but this was too much. He eyed his friends and choked the words out, “She’s getting married.”
“We’re going out.” Tommy walked over to the record player and turned it off. He grabbed a coat for Jackson and his keys.
Jackson attempted to protest, but it was no use. “We’re going out. You’re not going to sit here miserable, listening to Otis Redding all night. Let’s go.”
Jackson begrudgingly walked out of the apartment door, sat alone in the back of Tommy’s car, and stared out the window. He knew exactly where they were headed.
The bar was filled with people and a crowd of familiar faces was the last thing Jackson wanted. He marched straight to a booth in the far back corner of the darkened bar. Jackson slid into the side that kept his back to the crowd while Tommy and Alex sat across from him.
“Sally, can we get a pitcher here?” Tommy shouted at the slender bartender from their booth.
“So, when did it happen?” Alex asked.
“I guess he asked her last night. Happy birthday to her, right? I just can’t believe she said ‘yes.’”
Tommy shook his head, disgust evident in his eyes and the grimness of his mouth. “What do you mean you can’t believe she said ‘yes?’ Of course, she said ‘yes.’ What was she supposed to say? ‘Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m in love with that dude from the airplane?’”
Jackson’s stomach dropped as he tried to stop everything inside him from falling apart. He wanted to get angry; Tommy had been telling him for months now that this was a bad idea, but Jackson had refused to listen. Convinced that Tommy was a cynic and couldn’t possibly know what he and Caroline shared, he told himself over and over that Tommy was wrong.
“Why you gotta be like that?” Alex chastised Tommy, as the bartender put a pitcher down on their table with an extra frosted glass.
“You okay, Jax?” she asked, noticing the color and puffiness around his eyes.
“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks, Sal.” He tried to smile at her so she’d leave.
“All right, let me know if you boys need anything else. And Tommy, you don’t gotta holler at me like I’m some sort of cattle or something.”
“Sorry, Sally.” Tommy winked and reached to playfully smack her behind, but she scooted away. “So, what are you going to do?”
Jackson looked at his two best friends and shrugged his shoulders.
“Well, what you ought to do is…” Tommy turned to look in Sally’s direction and gave his he
ad a quick nod, “you know…Sally.”
“Not this again…” Alex shook his head while Jackson peered over his shoulder at the attractive brunette. She glanced up and Jackson quickly turned away from her sympathetic gaze.
“What? I’m just sayin’. She’s only had a crush on you since we were kids.”
Jackson buried his head behind his hands. “Sally’s great, but I’ve never really thought of her in that way before.”
“Well, maybe you should start. She’s hot. And you’re an idiot,” Tommy added.
“Enough. I don’t want to talk about this any more.” Jackson rubbed at his eyes and temples.
Tommy raised his eyebrows with disapproval. “Whatever. So, are you going to fly out to California and kidnap this broad, or what?”
Jackson’s chest puffed out before he let out a long sigh. “No. I’m going to walk away.”
“Smartest thing you’ve said since meeting her,” Tommy commented and leaned into the tall backrest.
Jackson winced. It wouldn’t take much to break him. He was so broken already.
Shock instantly covered Alex’s face. “What? Don’t listen to Tommy. Have you even told her you love her?”
“Does it matter?” Tommy asked.
“Of course it matters! How can you be pissed at her, if she doesn’t even know how you feel?” Alex asked logically.
“I hung up on her before she could tell me anything else,” Jackson admitted, his gaze falling to the floor.
“You’re a charmer,” Tommy choked out.
Jackson quickly looked up and shot his buddy a nasty look. “Shut up and pour the beer.”
Alex chimed in quickly, “I’m just going to say this one time, okay?”
“Here we go.” Tommy rolled his eyes. “Dr. Phil to the rescue.”
Alex gave Tommy a quick punch in the arm. “You have to lay it all on the line. You can’t expect the girl to ruin her life for you if she doesn’t even know how you feel about her.”
Jackson peered up from behind his beer glass and then continued chugging it.
“I mean it, Jackson. You want her to leave her boyfriend…”
Tommy interjected, “Ahem! Fiancé!”
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