“I love you,” I softly whisper before leaning up and kissing his lips.
He moans in response and pushes his weight on top of me, transmitting the heat and fire back into our bodies and bringing us back to the need of being inside of me.
Our mouths move feverishly together while our hands have a mind of their own. Soon my body aches with desire, not able to wait another second. Matt sits back on his heels and places the condom over his length. He moves slowly and gently back over me, trailing warm, sweet kisses up my stomach, over my chest and back over my mouth.
Feeling his arousal resting on my folds, my hips instantly react and push up against him. Matt reaches down and lines the tip with my opening, pushing in gently. I can feel myself stretch around him, but it doesn’t hurt. It just kind of stings.
“Oh god,” Matt breathes out once he pushes in further. “Are you good? Is this okay?” he asks, opening his eyes to make sure he’s not hurting me.
I smile because words can’t express how wonderful it feels to have him inside of me. Any pain or discomfort I feel is numbed by the pleasure that’s flooding my body.
“Yes, keep going,” I respond, wrapping my legs around his waist and gripping his back firmly with my hands.
Not wasting a moment more, he buries his face into the fold of my neck and pushes in further and harder, quickening his rhythm with every thrust. A moan escapes my mouth as I feel my body building with warmth and aching with pleasure. I can feel his breathing grow deeper as I’m pushed to the edge—ready to break free.
“Shit…” he moans, lifting his head and resting his forehead against mine.
“Yeah…”
“Look at me, baby,” Matt softly says between heavy breaths, still moving in and out of me.
I open my eyes, to be greeted with his. He kisses me hard while quickening his pace to an unbearable speed. With all loss of control, my body unravels below him—tensing and spasming into a delicious orgasm.
“Fuck,” he moans as I clench around his length, sending him spiraling into a release of his own.
Once finished, his body collapses on top of mine and we lay there quietly, his face resting on my chest with my arms wrapped around his body, trying to catch our breaths. Not even realizing it, I slowly and sensually run my fingers gently up and down his back. Matt snuggles in closer, sliding his hands under my back so he can hold me tightly.
“I love you,” he tells me again in a soft sweet voice.
Exhaling with happiness, I respond, “I love you, too.”
We lay in silence for a couple minutes longer, taking in the moment, reveling in the new step in our relationship.
“I’ve got some news,” he says exhaling deeply, giving me the impression that it’s not good and something he isn’t very thrilled about.
“Okay,” I answer, gently massaging his head with my fingers.
“My stepfather showed up at the house last night.”
I don’t answer. Since I know very little about Matt’s family I don’t understand the shock value of his stepdad coming to see him.
“I didn’t even know I had one.”
Okay, big shock.
“You didn’t know your mom remarried?” I softly ask.
He lightly chuckles.
“I didn’t even know if she was still alive.”
Realizing there’s going to be a lot more to this story that I’m about to learn, and wanting to be able to look him in the eyes as I comfort him through this, I push up onto my elbows. Matt slides off of me, removes and throws away the soiled condom, then slips back into bed across from me, pulling the blanket up with him. Our legs and arms tangle with one another while we lay naked, facing each other under the covers.
He picks right back up from where he left off.
“I was the product of one of my mom’s sex for drugs hook-ups. She wanted an abortion but my grandparents wouldn’t let her. They had her sign over her rights for me to them. They made her agree that she wouldn’t have any contact with me, that she’d just disappear. I guess she was so fucked up that even my grandparents lost hope for her.”
Holy shit!
“God, Babe,” I sympathize, feeling awful for him.
“Eh, it is what it is. My grandparents were awesome and I lived a normal life. Everything was fine,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.
“Do they still live upstate?” I ask, confused since he’s never spoken of them or seen them at any of his games.
“No…” Matt exhales and swallows hard like he’s fighting back tears. “They passed away a few years ago. My grandma first, from cancer. My grandpa less than a year later from a broken heart.”
My stomach twists and my heart aches knowing Matt has lost all the family he has ever known. I have such a huge, close family that I can’t imagine ever being alone and not having even one family member to lean on.
“Collin’s family begged for me to move in with them, but I didn’t want to be a burden. They had their own life, their own family. I didn’t want to intrude.”
“So what did you do?” I ask, scared to hear the answer.
“I went into foster care,” he says like it’s no big deal. “My social worker, Brenda, was amazing and found me a couple that lived in my school district, so I didn’t have to switch schools. They were nice. Not the warm home that I grew up in, but they provided me with food and a bed to sleep in until I graduated.”
A tear escapes my eyes, picturing how horrific the last few years of Matt’s life have been. And to make matters worse, he says it like it’s not that bad, like it could be worse. But it is awful. He’s never had a mom or dad who cared. For the last few years, he’s been living day to day anxiously awaiting graduation and turning eighteen, so he can legally be on his own.
“Aw baby, don’t cry,” he says, wiping away my tears. “I’m fine…really. It’s okay.”
I shake my head no, disagreeing with him. “No, it’s not okay, Babe,” I say, looking at Matt with heartfelt eyes. “You deserve so much more than the cards you were dealt.”
He studies my face intently before responding. “It’s my past,” he whispers, pushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. The edges of his lips curl up into a sweet grin. “I’m making up for it with my future.”
A smile creeps across my face from the warmth of grin. He will be making up for his past with his future, because his future consists of me and him.
By the sparkle in his eyes, I know that he can see it, too.
Getting back to his original news, I ask, “So…your stepfather?”
He exhales in remembrance. “Yeah. So, apparently my mom got cleaned up a while back and met this guy in an outpatient rehab. They got married, had two kids, and have been kinda livin’ a normal life since.”
“So why show up now?” I ask confused.
“Well, I guess my mom has been wanting to find me for a long time, but she signed that no contact order, agreeing to stay away. She was waiting for my eighteenth birthday to get in touch, but was diagnosed with lymphoma and rapidly growing leukemia a couple of months before my birthday…”
Jesus Christ, this shit just never ends.
“She and her husband said that they’d hold off on finding me until she got better, but I guess she’s not and actually dying, so that’s why he came looking for me. So she could meet me before she dies.”
I stare at him blankly, not knowing how to respond. Talk about a cluster-fuck of crazy. My issues are nothing compared to his. Suddenly I’m feeling guilty for ever complaining about anything bad in my life. Nothing has ever compared to the struggles that Matt has endured.
“Are you gonna see her? Do you want to?” I ask, not really knowing what I’d do.
“I think so,” he responds, but not confidently.
“I can go with you,” I offer, holding his cheek in my hand and providing him the comfort he needs and deserves.
His body melts and loses its tension with the assurance of me standing by him through it all. I don’t
know why he ever thought I wouldn’t, but it warms my heart knowing how much me being there relaxes him. Never will there ever be a day that goes by without Matt knowing how much he is loved and cared for by me. Never will this ever happen. Of this, I’m sure.
“I don’t think I could do it without you,” he confesses, his voice shaky with the tears streaming down his face.
“And you won’t have to. I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”
I kiss away the tears.
Chapter 28
Later that night Matt calls his stepfather, Jack, notifying him that he has decided to go through with meeting his mother, and that we can make the three hour drive to Buffalo, New York where they reside. Because her health is dwindling quickly with no knowledge of how much longer she has, Jack asks if we can come sooner than later. After talking with his coach and explaining the situation, Coach Peterson was more than okay with Matt missing their game this weekend and wished him the best.
It’s now Friday afternoon and Matt and I are loading up my small Honda Civic with all of our belongings and everything we’ll need for the next two nights. Knowing that the situation is still fresh and awkward for Matt, Jack was kind enough to rent us a hotel room next to the hospital where his mother is being cared for. Although Matt has acted unaffected all week by this trip, I can tell his nerves are running wild. Not only is his mother alive, but she has a family which means Matt has a stepfather and siblings that he never knew existed.
After taking a quick bathroom break and grabbing us both a coke from the refrigerator, I meet Matt in front of the car.
“Ya ready?” I ask, coming up next to him and gently touching his arm.
Matt looks down at me, studying my face with eyes full of emotion, but an apprehensive grin. “Yeah…I’m ready,” he softly responds.
In an attempt to avoid the awkward silence and to keep Matt’s mind at ease, I have filled my iPod with music ranging anywhere from the annoying pop songs, to classic oldies to wanting to kill someone hard rock. I also bought a bunch of those Mad Libs books where you ask the other person a bunch of one word answered questions that fill in the blanks to a crazy short story. My brother and I used to do them all the time on long road trips and we’d laugh our asses off the entire time. On top of that, I have a whole duffle bag of junk food and candy. I’m bound and determined to make this trip as fun as I possibly can for Matt.
“Okay, an adjective?” I ask Matt, filling in the blanks for a “How to get a girl to like you in school” Mad Lib story.
“Um…sticky.”
“Another one,” I ask.
“Another adjective?”
I nod my head yes.
“Smelly.”
“Keep in mind the subject isn’t football players after a game,” I explain.
Matt looks at me with a smirk.
“You said that I look sexy after my games. All hot and dirty and sweaty…”
I look at him with a questionable grin as I try to hold back my laughter. “I said that?”
“Sure did, Sweetcheeks.” He winks.
Rolling my eyes, I continue with the last question. “Verb.”
“Jump,” he answers, glancing over at me with a sweet grin, the one that makes his eyes sparkle and my heart flutter.
“Okay, you ready for this?” I ask now, all the blanks filled.
“Yes. Please tell me how to get a girl to like me in school although I think I already scored a pretty frickin awesome one.”
I smile at his statement, but continue with the story.
“It’s simple. Turn the porcupine. Make her want loudly to date you. Make sure you’re always dressed to thrust…” We both laugh at that one. “…Each and every day, wear panties that you know shows off your hotel and look like a million shoes. Even if the two of you make meaningful ass contact–”
“Yes! That one worked perfect!” He shouts, happy with how his ass answer worked into the story.
Chuckling at his enthusiasm, I proceed. “…don’t admit it. No hugs or bunnies. Just shake her ear firmly. And remember, when she asks you out, even though a chill may run down your peanut butter and you can’t stop your bird from relaxing, just play it sticky. Take a long pause before answering in a very smelly voice, ‘I’ll have to jump it over.’”
“Babe, do I give you chills down to your peanut butter?” Matt asks in a serious tone, but can see his cheeks struggling not to smile.
I try not to laugh in response while I answer, “Only when we make meaningful ass contact.”
With that, we both burst out in laughter.
Matt glances over at me, turning serious and squeezing my thigh. “Thank you for this.”
Resting my hand on his, and giving him a loving smile, I answer, “I just want you to be happy.” Because that’s really all I care about.
Matt has spent the last few years of his life being unhappy and unloved and it’s now become my mission to change that–to ensure that his future is filled with nothing but love, happiness, and the best years of his life.
He looks at me with a mischievous grin and I know where his brain is heading. “How bad do you wanna make me happy?” Matt asks with a raised eyebrow.
Giving him an apprehensive smile, but curious with what he’s thinking, I answer, “Very happy.”
His eyes open wide and grin grows big. “There’s a rest stop in a couple of miles…”
Eww.
“You wanna have sex in a rest stop?” I ask, disgusted.
Matt looks at me like I have ten heads. “Whoa…who said anything about having sex?” he says in a surprised tone, but his facial expression says otherwise.
“Oh whatever,” I respond with a glare. “You were so insinuating that.”
“I was talkin’ bout getting a big juicy cheeseburger, but hey, havin’ sex on the road…” he says wiggling his eyebrows.
“You are so full of shit.” I roll my eyes, making him chuckle.
“You’re so cute, Babe,” he says with a sweet smile, patting my leg.
“Uh huh.”
Chapter 29
Just after eight-thirty we pull into the Hampton Inn Suites with the address that Jack gave us. It’s a nice hotel with your standard exercise room, indoor pool that smells like a big chlorine tablet, and a commons area that looks to be where they serve their complimentary breakfast. Nothing fancy, but definitely nice.
“Hey, look at this,” Matt says enthused, showing me the key card.
I look at it, confused. There is nothing noticeably wonderful about it. It’s your typical plastic rectangular new age key.
“Room twelve,” he says pointing to the room number.
“Ohh…” The light bulb came on. “Your football number.”
“That’s pretty cool, huh?” he says, shrugging his shoulders.
“Very cool, Babe,” I respond, standing up on my tippy toes to give him a quick peck on the lips.
Like he always does, he looks down at me like he’s studying my face with a sweet grin. Just as I’m about to ask him what he’s thinking when he does that, the elevator door opens with a group of giggly teenagers in their tiny bikinis emptying out. Their laughs are so high pitched that I’m sure they’ve gotten every dog’s attention in a ten mile radius. Matt and I both look at each other annoyed as we step into the now empty elevator.
“God, I hope we don’t have girls,” Matt says as the doors close.
With the butterflies flapping and my heart filled with love, I wrap my arms around his waist as I ask, “You wanna have babies with me?”
He drapes his arm around my shoulder and kisses my forehead. “Hell, yeah. I mean, not for like ten years or whatever, but yeah. I want the cookie cutter house with the picket fence and a bunch of little Matt juniors runnin’ around. I’ve already got it all planned out, Babe.”
Feeling a knot of tears moving up my throat, I have to take a deep breath. I’m so full of emotion right now, picturing the life that Matt has all drawn out for us, it’s not even
funny.
Damn him for making me sappy!
I’ve never been the hearts and flowers kind of girl that gets all emotional watching the Notebook over and over again, but for some reason since I met Matt all that has gone to shit. Now I find myself thinking about all that gushy cute stuff and imagining things with him that I never thought I would ever picture with anyone. I always thought that I’d someday move to New York City, live in a trendy flat with an ugly hairless dog, and work for some big photography company. But now I’m living in Pleasantville, married to the perfect husband with a zillion little football players running around, and I’m okay with it. I’m actually more than okay with it. It’s perfect.
We find our room at the end of the hallway on the first floor. It has a clean starchy hotel smell and just past the bathroom on the left and the mini bar on the right, there’s a big queen size bed with a large flat screen TV hanging on the wall in front of it. Of course, Matt notices that first and leaps onto the bed, throwing his hands behind his head and crossing his feet at the ankles, clicking the power on with the remote.
He’s got a big goofy grin on his face as he pats the spot next to him for me to sit down. A knot forms in my stomach seeing how unaffected and happy he seems. All week I was preparing myself for this weekend to be incredibly awkward and Matt to be full of nervous jitters and anxiety. However, right now I feel like we’re on a weekend getaway instead of hours away from meeting his dying mother that he knew nothing about until recently. Is this happy go lucky attitude just a cover-up for what he’s really feeling inside? Should I ask him just in case he’s bottling it up?
“Okay, what’s wrong?” Matt asks seeing me deep in thought. “You’re lookin’ at me like I’m about to take my last breath.”
Well no, but your mom is.
I swallow hard and force a smile as I make my way over to him and snuggle in close. “Are you okay, Babe? Ya know, with everything that’s goin’ on?” I ask, needing to make sure all is well. I feel like it’s my girlfriend duty.
He exhales deeply and pulls me into his side, resting his chin on my head. “I think so,” he softly admits. “I mean, it’s frickin crazy as hell, but whatever…it is what it is, I guess.”
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