Once a SEAL

by Anne Elizabeth

  Feeling a tap on her shoulder, she put down the gun and removed her earplugs. “Yes?”

  “Impressive,” said Dan, holding his own plugs. “What were you thinking?”

  “That nobody is allowed to hurt us,” she said candidly. Somehow it felt good to say it out loud, but she still couldn’t believe the news about Mark. Whether it was true or not, she was doubtful she could ever hold a gun on him or anyone else.

  “I want you to try the .44 and .45, too. They’re heavy and have a recoil, but I like them better than the .38.” Dan put his earplugs back in.

  Jimmy sat down on the bench and watched.

  She picked up the .45. An image came into her head of lifting the double-barreled shotgun with her dad. He’d wanted her to shoot game so badly, but the kick from the gun had dumped her on her ass the first time, and the shot had gone wild and high, bringing down a duck instead of a buck. Her response had been to cry, while her father laughed and brought it home for dinner. It had been impossible for her to eat it, mainly because she’d shot it, but her parents had enjoyed it. “Don’t think of the killing, think of the purpose.”

  Steadying her hand, she thought, Safety, and pulled the trigger. Again and again, she fired until there was nothing left. Putting it down, she looked at the target. The bullets had gone straight through the outline of the head.

  “You’re good at this. I’m proud of you.”

  “So are you,” she said.

  “I’m trained in handling weapons. You aren’t but you’ve kept an open mind and performed well.” He touched his hand to her hair. “It’s one of many things I admire about you.”

  She grinned. “Well, I like the way you communicate with me. Compliments don’t spill from your mouth like trite offerings. Your comments have meaning, depth, and I have to earn them.”

  He kissed her lips tenderly.

  “Somehow, by doing this…I think I understand you more.”

  He pulled back, glancing over at Jimmy, who was playing a game on Aria’s iPhone. “How so?”

  “You’re very disciplined and determined. I don’t think I understood what kind of dedication you needed to have to do what you do. Learning about weapons has shown me the type of concentration needed, but also how to compartmentalize things in my brain. It gives me distance and perspective, if I allow it, to see things more clearly. Also, when I allow other stuff to interfere in what I’m doing, I mess up.” She sighed. “I get it now—why the SEAL wives group was explaining how important it is that we handle stuff at home so you don’t have to think about it, can perform your missions, and be safe.”

  Tension eased out of Dan’s shoulders in one giant movement. “That’s a mouthful.” He leaned his head against hers. “Yes. Thank you.”

  “I’m not saying that I’m going to be good at all of this, but I’ll do my best.”

  “That’s all I ask. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “Do you want me to go wait in the car?” asked Jimmy.

  “No,” said Dan.

  Getting in the spirit of things, Aria turned to Dan and asked, “What else do you have?”

  “Time to learn about knives.”

  ***

  The rest of the afternoon was spent firing and talking. She learned a lot about weapons in general: safety, loading and unloading, cleaning and storing, stance, and the best way to hold a position. It was an eye-opening experience.

  On the way home, they picked up pizza and salads.

  Pulling up in front of their house, Aria felt her stomach roll.

  “I’m right behind you,” said Dan, bringing up the rear.

  “Yeah! Pizza! I’m so hungry I could eat a whole one myself,” said Jimmy, voracious as always. “I’ll get the plates.”

  She watched her brother hurry into the kitchen and set the counter with plates, napkins, forks, and knives. A grin was plastered to his face, and he couldn’t hide his elation. The time with Dan had been good for them both.

  ***

  As she cleaned up, she listened to Jimmy’s interaction with Dan. She had never seen her brother so animated. It was as if a giant weight had been lifted off of him.

  “Hey, guys, before we have dessert, can we talk?” Aria kept her tone light. “Come sit down at the counter with me.”

  She put hot water on for tea and laid out fruit salad and chocolate-chip cookies.

  “Are these homemade? I love these, Sis.” Jimmy ate three of them before she could even answer. Dan wasn’t much better; he’d stuffed four of them into his mouth.

  “Yes. Slow down, guys. I want to have a meeting of the minds.”

  “What does that mean?” asked Jimmy with a full mouth, spitting crumbs in all directions. “Sorry.”

  “Use a napkin,” she said, pushing one in his direction. She made three cups of peppermint tea and sat down with them. “Jimmy, it sounds like you had a great time at the gym yesterday.”

  “I did. Dan’s amazing! We’re going again, too.” Jimmy blew on his tea. “Can I have sugar?”

  Aria nodded. “You know where it is.”

  Jimmy got up, walked around the island, and took the sugar out of the cabinet. When he faced her again, she asked, “Can you talk to me, Jimmy, about Mark? I’ve been wanting to find out…about the talks you’ve had with him.”

  He put the sugar on the counter and stepped back from it. His whole body stiffened, and he looked down at the floor. “Do I have to?”

  “Yes, I need to know what’s been going on, from the very first time he spoke to you.” Purposefully keeping her tone light, she tried to make her comment easygoing. “It’s just you and me and Dan. We’re a family, and we’re here for each other.”

  “That’s what he said, except there was no Dan. It was you and Mark and me, and he said the pictures were just to help us get closer. I didn’t think it was bad. I’m so sorry.” Tears welled in his eyes. “I didn’t even want to do it anymore, but Mark got so mad when I told him no. He said you’d be safer if he could keep an eye on you.” He hiccupped. “I just didn’t want you to get hurt…”

  Aria was off her stool and around the counter instantly. She wrapped her arms around Jimmy and held him as his thin body shook. She looked over at Dan, and the expression on his face was grim. God love him, he never looked away…just sent his strength to her, and she never wavered as she held tight to Jimmy.

  Chapter 15

  Mission White Hawk, Undisclosed Location, North Korea

  The evening had been a struggle. It had taken a long time to walk through Jimmy’s story and then to calm Aria. He didn’t want either of them to be upset, but he was sure that purging the pain and clearing the air had helped them both.

  He hated leaving now, but the Op was happening. There were personal stakes in this event, too.

  No doubt his buddies would be stopping in to check on Aria and Jimmy while he was gone, but it didn’t make it easier to leave. If this Op weren’t the one mission he’d been waiting for, he would have tried to pull out for family reasons.

  His wife…she was so strong. It amazed him how she handled things. Does she know how remarkable she is?

  Lying down next to her, he pulled her into his arms. She fit perfectly into the grooves of his body as if she had been made for him. Together they were one being with multiple appendages that only moved in synchronicity.

  “Have I told you…that you’re amazing?”

  “No. Why?” She asked, rubbing her cheeks along his arm, beckoning him.

  “The way you handle things. Life says, ‘Hey, this is a hard mountain to climb,’ and you figure out how to conquer it. You’ve done that and so much more with the hurdles thrown in your way.”

  “I’m not perfect.”

  “Neither am I, but you live boldly, Aria. You try, you do, and you succeed.”

  He kissed her neck. “I admire those qualities in you.”

  “I feel I owe you an apology.”

  “For what?”

  “For Mark. In tru
th, not only for my blind spot with him, but also for the fact you’re my husband and you deserve the chance to become my best friend. I think I held that opportunity away from you for a while, because I was scared to put too many emotions in one place.”

  “Apology accepted.”

  “But I owe you more!”

  “Then give it to me.” He hugged her close. “Your actions have always spoken volumes. Your loving nature—the way you care for your brother, you, and me—is terrific. Not many people are as conscientious as you. Give yourself a break. Just be you, Aria. That’s exactly the person I want to be married to.”

  “Thanks,” she said, smiling up at him. Naked and stretched out alongside him, she whispered, “Stop thinking and make love to me.”

  “Gee, I don’t know. That’s so hard to do,” he teased.

  His hands stroked along her flesh, changing her breathing to short gasps. When she was moving into his touch, he kissed her. The passion so electric it made her forget everything but him…this kiss…this moment.

  As he braced himself above and slowly…inch by inch…slid inside, she climaxed. Her whole body was alive with delighted pleasure.

  Her Dan. He was always so in control. She was going to change that…

  Aria thrust her hips, changing their rhythm from something slow and steady to one that was fast and breathtaking.

  “Wait, Aria. I like watching you,” he said, trying to slow her down.

  “I like coming better,” she said, tossing her head back and climaxing. “My turn to be in control.” Her sheath squeezed over his cock, and he had to hold back. He wasn’t ready to release…not yet.

  “I’m…not…ready,” he panted…holding on.

  Her nails scraped gently along his chest. Reaching his nipples, she teased them…sending him out of control. “I love you, my husband. My lover. My friend.”

  “I love you, too,” he sighed as she lay her head on his chest. “More than you’ll ever know.”

  ***

  Dan dozed. When he awoke, they were still cuddled close together.

  Aria lay quietly in his arms and he hugged her close, smelling the sweet scent of her hair. He could stay this way forever.

  Feeling moisture on his bicep, he rocked her gently. “Hey, what’s up, Aria?”

  Wiping at her eyes, she said, “I’m going to miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you, too.” He took a deep breath. “Think of my being gone this way—instead of actively missing me, go live. Go out and do all the things that make you happy, knowing that I’m applauding your ability, your guts and ingenuity. Truly, it is so much easier to live now and enjoy the present than to wait for a future date when the living begins.”

  “Puts less pressure on you, too,” Aria commented.

  “True. When husbands deploy a lot, they are told by their command staff not to upset the harmony at home—not to establish dominance and change the schedule or natural course of things. But coming home always does change things. My greatest wish is that whether I’m coming or going, you’ll be experiencing and expressing who you are.”

  Aria nodded her head slowly. “Dan, why…did you pick me?”

  “What do you mean?” he asked. “I knew from the first moment I kissed you, Aria, that you were special. There was something so unique about you—the way you thought, expressed yourself, moved, and lived. Just know I’m not planning on dying any time soon. I won’t make guarantees that I can’t keep, so I’ll tell it to you this way—I love you now and forever, and every day we can share our happiness is all I want, as long as you’re joyful, too.”

  “Thanks.” She leaned up and kissed him. “Just tell me this, though, now that you see all the complications…do you regret any part of this marriage?”

  “No, of course not. Why would you ask that?” She baffled Dan sometimes. Did she think he would go through all of these difficulties because he wanted to dump her?

  “Don’t look at me like that. I was so shocked when you proposed that I never went into the reasoning.” His wife’s eyes bored into him. “Don’t say ‘I love you.’ I know that, and I love you, too.” She put her chin on his chest. “I want to know what happened on that mission, the one that led you to the proposal. Whatever you can tell me. Please.”

  Dan sat up, dislodging Aria from his chest. Man, he did not want to tackle this question. In many ways, though, she had the right to know. Having bitten the bullet thus far…today was as good a day as any to give it to her straight.

  “I was in South Korea. JC and I had a few hours of liberty and were walking around town. A guy I’d gone through BUD/S with named George Gould, who we called GG and had been a rock star for his ability to run and do pull-ups but had rung out the first time the instructors got in his face, had become a sniper. When his time was up, he became a sniper for the FBI. It was pretty strange, seeing him abroad, since the FBI’s territory was in the USA, but we had a beer to trade news anyway. When we left the bar, JC was pretty wasted and I was feeling a buzz. But I noticed these suspicious looking guys entering the establishment, behind us. After we heard several shots, JC and I went back in and found GG bleeding out on the floor. He gave us this name and address and told us to help her out. She was his fiancée.

  “Well, GG was dead and the authorities wouldn’t have taken kindly to us hanging around there, so we left. The address was tough to find, but we managed it and introduced ourselves to the woman inside. Her name was Sandra. She lived in South Korea, but her family was originally from up north. While we were talking, some nasty guys came to her door, so we took her back to the ranch.

  “Command had a bit of a scuffle about it, and the CIA came in and took over. It wasn’t until years later that I was on an Op to meet an informant in territory we’re not supposed to be in—please don’t guess—that I saw her. I had no idea that the CIA had turned her into an asset and forced her to work for them. She told me that she only had to work five years and then she’d be free to become a U.S. citizen and receive a salary for the time she worked…up north.

  “Sandra needed me to meet her the next day, to give me information about an operative who had been planted and had turned traitor. Already the traitor had been responsible for eleven American deaths, and he was promising more to the high echelon of the government. I was pissed when I got back, and I talked to the Team about it. We weren’t cleared to take her out, but we were going to. It was my fault she was in this situation. I should have followed up, done something.

  “The next day, when we went to meet her, Sandra was followed and shot. She died in my arms, giving us the information we needed. She was more of an American, a patriot, than the man who had betrayed us, even though she wasn’t actually a citizen. If my friend GG had managed to marry her before this all began, it would have been a different story. But he didn’t.” Dan let out a ragged breath.

  “I’m not a priest, Aria. I’ve killed people—a lot of them—but Sandra’s death hit me so hard, I couldn’t recover. I started thinking about you and the future, my swim buddy JC and his wife Jen, and the things I wanted for my own life. It horrified me to think I could wake up one day and never have taken a risk in my personal life. Here it was I could walk into a firefight, but I couldn’t say ‘I love you’ to the one woman I can never get out of my mind.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t live like that. I needed closure to live my life fully, go for the grandest wish of all…for those friends who didn’t get to do it and for myself.”

  His chest shook. There were no tears, but he could feel the pain in his chest. “Christ! How could she live and die that way, being forced to spy for what was ‘almost’ hers?”

  His wife came into his arms and wrapped herself around him. She held tight as his body shook and he gave himself over to the emotion that had held him for so long.

  When the brunt of the pain subsided, he gently pushed her away. “I know, I said I’d be here…to help with Jimmy and spend time with you, too. But I have a chance to avenge Sandra, to actually get the
headquarters of the terrorist cell that’s been going after our people.” He cupped his hands around Aria’s cheeks. “I volunteered to do this. I hope you understand what it means to me. To us.”

  The emotion was plainly written on his wife’s face, a fierceness that meant she was on his side. She nodded and then turned her head and kissed his palms. “We’ll be fine. I promise not to say anything to anyone.”

  “Thanks.” He kissed her lips…so tender, and mighty sweet.

  “Kill those bastards!” she said against his lips.

  He laughed. She was his, and she seemed to understand what was at stake for him. “So, we’re good.”

  “Almost,” she said with a wicked gleam in her eye. “It depends if you’ve recovered enough to satisfy your wife before you leave. She’d love to send you off…with a bang.”

  ***

  The next morning came too quickly. He’d barely caught any sleep, but it was time to get up and get moving. “Hey, are you going to drive me, or should I have Hannah pick us up?”

  “Us?” Aria was barely awake and her words were slurred and groggy. “Why Hannah?”

  “We’re not supposed to leave our cars at the airport, if we can help it.” He stretched his arms over his head and groaned. His body craved a workout and run, but it wasn’t happening this a.m. unless they could figure out a way to do it on the plane. “Me and JC. Jen’s on bed rest, with the babies.”

  “Right, of course, I forgot. I’ll do it. I’ll drive you. Just let me get my purse.” His wife stood up and headed for the door. She padded around the bed and he had the perfect view. Damn, but she had the cutest ass!

  “Maybe you should put some clothes on,” he offered.

  With her fingers on the door handle, she looked down. “Crap! I’m out of it. Good idea.”

  Dan grabbed his clothes and went into the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and took a quick shower and then went into the kitchen to make coffee. The fresh brew woke his senses even more, and he took a few sips before pouring it into a travel mug. He also made a cup of tea for Aria, who was standing at the door watching him. “Why don’t I drive?”