Defensive Zone

by Catherine Gayle

  Yeah, like I said…not a good liar. Damn it.

  I plopped down on the couch, and Oreo took that as her cue to jump up next to me and shove her head into my hand for more scratches. Greedy little bitch. Although I didn’t really have much room to talk. I was constantly doing the same thing with Cody, and he scratched my itch every time I rubbed up on him. At least lately. It’d taken him a while, but he got there in the end.

  I figured I’d better scratch the cat’s ears. Karma and all.

  She started purring almost immediately, just like I did anytime Cody touched me in any way. Good grief. Maybe I was a cat in a former life.

  “Why’s it bullshit?” I asked.

  “Because I’ve seen you heading out on foot a lot lately.”

  “I’m walking. Is that a crime? I heard exercise is good for you.”

  “You don’t exercise.”

  Which was typically true. Hence my overly round ass. I liked my curves, though, and apparently I wasn’t the only one. Cody couldn’t seem to get enough of them.

  “Bea’s got me playing Pokémon,” I said. And thank goodness I had that as an excuse. Not only that but I’d been careful to play every time I walked from my house to Cody’s over the last several weeks. I dug my phone out of my pocket and started up the app. “Look, I’m on level eighteen!”

  “And you’re going out to play Pokémon wearing a trench coat?” Katie replied, her tone full of sarcasm. “I wouldn’t think it’s cold enough for that yet.”

  “Are you checking up on me or something?” Evasiveness was the name of my game.

  “I was getting the mail last night and saw you down the block. Heading toward Harry’s house, coincidentally enough.”

  “There are a lot of Pokémon down that way.” It was the truth, but I didn’t miss the feebleness of my self-defense. This wasn’t going well. At all.

  “Mm hmm.”

  I was starting to hate that stupid sound.

  Katie restacked her sheet music and sat back in the chair, eyeing me. “And you were out playing Pokémon until two in the morning?”

  “You’re spying on me for Dad. Admit it.” There was no other reason she’d know how late I got back last night. Did Dad really have that much against Cody? I mean, yeah, he’d been the one to bail Cody out of jail that night, but come on. How much could he know? I’m sure Cody had just told him there’d been drugs in the house or whatever. That shouldn’t be enough to have my father flipping out unless Cody had been using them, and I sincerely doubted that. The NHL did random drug tests regularly enough that he wouldn’t try something like that. But any way you looked at it, Cody’s private life was none of Dad’s business, whether I was involved with the guy or not.

  My father needed to butt the hell out of my sex life.

  I was getting all riled up and ready to head over to my parents’ house, march through the front doors, and give my dad a piece of my mind, and Katie still hadn’t even responded. Shit. I glanced over at her and found a familiar smug, knowing look in her eyes.

  “I’m not spying for Dad,” she said. “But should I be? What are you doing with Harry?”

  “None of your damn business,” I grumbled. “And none of Dad’s business, either.”

  “Fine. Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s not our business, but that’s no reason to go and lie to me.”

  I was about to argue that I wasn’t lying, but I bit down on my tongue. Because I was. It wasn’t just that I was keeping the truth to myself…I was making up lies to cover for myself. And for Cody, but that wasn’t the point. This was my sister, and she deserved better than lies. Especially when she was already guessing the truth.

  But instead of coming clean, I asked, “What the hell were you doing up at that hour of the night, anyway?”

  “I’ll tell you my secret after you tell me yours.”

  I scowled. “Deal, but only if you promise to keep it to yourself. You can’t even tell Jamie.” I didn’t mention not telling our father because that much was implied. And we both knew Mom couldn’t keep a secret to save her life. The wine always loosened her tongue, so it was better just to keep her in the dark.

  “Same goes for you. Not a word to anyone, and especially not to Jamie.”

  That piqued my curiosity. Katie wasn’t one to keep things from her husband. They were disgustingly cute together with all their lovey-dovey shit. I was sure neither of them had any secrets as far as the other was concerned, because that was just how they were together. It was kind of gross. No matter what happened or didn’t happen between me and Cody, there was no chance we’d ever end up as freaking cute as those two.

  I wouldn’t allow it. It’d make me gag constantly. And on that note, I filed it away in my head to warn Luke off of that sort of behavior, no matter who he eventually ended up with. It was bad enough having one sibling acting like that. I couldn’t take it if they both did. They might as well just kill me now if that was in my future.

  Anyway, once again, I digressed. “Deal,” I finally said.

  “You first, since I already know at least part of it.”

  “Cody and I aren’t really seeing each other, but…” I shrugged, hoping she wouldn’t expect more.

  “But you’re sleeping with him?” She raised a brow. “And you’re calling him Cody now?”

  “It is his name, you know. And it’s something like that.”

  “But you aren’t dating him.” She frowned.

  “Well, there’s the whole thing with Dad—”

  “You know Dad just wants you to be happy, right?” Katie cut in. “I mean, yeah, he gives guys a bad time, but he’s just doing his macho dad thing. It’s not serious.”

  “Cody seems to think it’s more serious in his case.”

  “Because of the age difference? He might have a point, there. Do you have any idea what you’re getting yourself into?”

  I had a far better idea of it than she did, and I intended to keep it that way, thank you very much. “We’re not serious. It’s not like that. We’re just”—I shrugged again—“having sex.”

  “Why aren’t you serious? You’ve been after him for months.”

  “He’s giving me what I want. I’m in no hurry to get married and start a family. I just want to see what’s out there and have a good time.” Never mind the fact that now that I’d been having this non-relationship sort of relationship with Cody for a while, I kind of liked it, and I couldn’t stand the thought of it coming to an end. But that was just because of the sex. It was damn good sex.

  “Yeah, but he might be looking for more,” Katie pointed out. “He’s getting a little older. Most guys start thinking about starting families by the time they’re his age. So maybe you’re okay with a fling for now, but what happens if he wants to take things to the next level?”

  “He was the one who said we couldn’t ever date, not me! But that suited me just fine.” If he hadn’t instituted that rule, though, I sure as hell would have.

  “And you’re okay with that?” She sounded dubious.

  “Why shouldn’t I be? I’m only twenty. I’ve got a lot of living to do before I’m going to be ready to settle down.”

  “I thought the same thing when I was your age. I wanted to go out into the world and chase my dreams, even though what I really wanted was right in front of me.”

  “Yeah, but the point is you did it. You went out there and lived some life before you were ready to settle down.”

  “And I found out it wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

  I studied my sister’s eyes, trying to figure out what that hint of sadness meant. But there weren’t any answers forthcoming. “Did something happen while you were in Hollywood?” I asked, because she wasn’t coming right out and saying it.

  “A lot of things happened. The world can be a shitty place, Dani. That’s all I’m saying. And I know you want to spread your wings and try all sorts of things—”

  “I’m trying them right here in front of everyone!” I cut in. “Wi
th Cody, not with some random guy no one knows. He’s not going to hurt me or do anything stupid.”

  “I never said he would. What I’m trying to say, if you’d let me, is maybe you don’t need to go run off and do a bunch of stupid things if what you want is already right in front of you.”

  I didn’t have a clue how to respond to that. Especially because that wasn’t what Cody and I were all about. At all. I mean, our chemistry was completely amazeballs. Like, off-the-charts good. But there was a hell of a lot more involved in creating a long-term relationship—the so-cute-it’s-gross sort like Katie had with Jamie—than great sex.

  That wasn’t us.

  And I didn’t want it to be us.

  Did I?

  Nah. Twenty years old. I was so not ready for that it wasn’t even funny. “I’ll take that under advisement,” I said. “So, anyway. That’s my secret. I’m boinking Cody, and we don’t want anyone to know, so you’d better zip it up tight. So what’s your secret?”

  “Mine’s a little more serious.”

  “I swear to God, if you tell me you have cancer—”

  “It’s not cancer. I wouldn’t try to keep that secret from everyone, and especially not Jamie.”

  “Good, because I would kick your ass from here to Abu Dhabi for that.”

  “I’m pregnant. That’s why I was up so late last night. I needed to puke because apparently I’m getting morning sickness in the middle of the night.”

  “What?” It took a second for it to sink in, but then it did. And my eyes filled with tears, because I knew how hard they’d been trying to make a baby, and that she might not be able to because of all the chemo and radiation and shit. There’d been fertility treatments, and she’d already been pregnant and subsequently miscarried once, although only Jamie and I knew about that one because she hadn’t wanted to get anyone’s hopes up when it might not work out. Katie nodded, and she was crying, so that was all the permission I needed to let the tears spill down my cheeks. “For real?” I squeaked.

  “For real. But it’s still really early, and I don’t want to let Jamie get all excited about a baby when there’s still a good chance I might miscarry again, but I had to tell someone, you know? Or else I’ll burst.”

  “You know I’m really bad at keeping secrets.”

  “You keep them when it matters.”

  She was right. I could keep a secret when it was an important one. And she was my sister. That made it easier, because we had a special sort of bond. I’d kept her first pregnancy and her miscarriage quiet, even from our parents, and that had been easier than I’d ever imagined it could be. Keeping this from Jamie was going to be a hell of a lot harder, though.

  “How far along are you? And how long are you going to make me keep it quiet? Because a few days is a hell of a lot different than a few months.”

  She laughed, shaking her head in feigned disbelief. “Yeah, I know. I’m about six weeks along, so still really early. And I don’t know how long. I don’t want to tell Jamie until after I’ve gone to the ob-gyn, at least. I need to know how shaky this pregnancy is before I let him in on things.”

  “Wouldn’t it be better to go through all of that together?” I suggested. Especially because they did have that sickly sweet kind of relationship. Jamie would want to be part of everything, even the bad stuff. That was what he’d signed up for when he’d decided to date and subsequently marry my sister, despite my father’s machinations to keep them apart.

  “Maybe.” She blinked back a couple of tears. “But I can’t put him through that if I don’t have to. Not again. I feel like I’m the one letting him down.”

  “I doubt he’d see things that way.”

  “Maybe he wouldn’t, but that’s not the point. It’s harder on him than it is on me. He’s got so many brothers, and even though he says he’ll be okay if we never have kids, I think he wants to have lots of kids like that. I’ve already accepted that this pregnancy’s probably going to fail, too, so it won’t break me when it happens. You know? And if I do somehow manage to hold on to this one, then it’ll be all good stuff, no bad, when I let him in on the news.”

  I didn’t think my sister was giving her husband enough credit, but that wasn’t for me to point out. Particularly not since I’d already all but brushed off the advice she had attempted to dish out to me.

  Scowling, I let out a huff. “Fine. So when are you going to the girly bits doc?”

  “Next week, while they’re in California. Want to come with me?”

  Knowing how nervous my sister got every time she had to go to the doctor—any doctor—there wasn’t a chance in hell I’d make her do it on her own. “I’ll be there.” Besides, it wouldn’t be eating into my sexytimes with Cody if the guys would be on the road. And she had good reason for the nerves. Two bouts of cancer were no joke, especially for someone as young as she was.

  But now I had two people who knew my secret and who could inadvertently spill the beans. This was getting to be dicey.

  WHEN I OPENED the front door, Dani was wearing the same trench coat she’d worn last night, making me all but forget the phone call I’d just ended with Shelby. Just the sight of Dani like that got my pulse racing and my dick hardening like a spike behind my zipper, because I knew whatever was underneath would be a taste of heaven.

  Even if she wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothes. Because she was a taste of heaven.

  I’d allowed things with Dani to go too far already, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. Especially not when she kept indulging me by playing along with my kinks. I’d known since the first night that she was as into the spankings as I was. But I had wondered how she’d handle role play. Some chicks got weirded out by it, but she kept surprising me by taking the initiative—buying costumes, setting the scene. Being with her was like living within my fantasies, like they’d come to life.

  So far, though, it had all been about my fantasies and my kinks. I needed to make an effort to discover what hers might be so I could give her everything she wanted. That was quickly becoming my newest obsession. She was giving me everything I could have ever dreamed of, and I felt a profound need to do the same for her. In fact, I intended to get her to tell me her fantasies tonight. After we were both well and truly sated.

  Lord knew I needed to lose myself in her after the day I’d had.

  Today had been the final day of the pre-season, and Jim and the coaches had informed everyone of the final cuts. Now we were down to what should be our opening-day twenty-three-man roster, and I was on it. So far, I hadn’t been traded. But neither had any of the other vets on the blue line, so I couldn’t afford to let down my guard.

  Changes were coming. There wasn’t any doubt about that. We just didn’t know what changes or when they’d happen.

  And when I’d gotten home, it was to receive a call from Shelby to let me know that she and Megan still hadn’t found an acceptable full-time home for Dad that could take him anytime soon. He was on the waiting list for three reasonable facilities, but none of them expected to have a spot for him sooner than six months from now.

  My sisters had been getting by for the better part of a month, but it was taking a toll on them both. They couldn’t keep going like this forever, even with the help my aunt was able to give them. That was why I’d suggested beginning a search for nursing homes closer to me. Shelby had argued against it because of the added cost—health care in Canada was paid for by the government, but they wouldn’t pay anything if he came to the States—but we needed a solution, and we needed it now.

  To be honest, I couldn’t think of a better use for the money I’d earned so far in my career and any I might squeeze out of the rest of my playing days. But with the threat of a trade looming, how could I get Dad set up at some place in the Portland area, only to up and move to Lord only knew where if a trade happened? Then none of the three of us would be near him.

  And to top it all off, it didn’t look like bringing him to the U.S. would even be a possibility sinc
e I wasn’t an American citizen.

  It was a fucking mess of a situation. That was all I knew for certain.

  All of which meant I needed to let off some steam like nobody’s business tonight, and there was no one I’d rather do it with than Dani.

  She was like a drug to me. Within just a few short weeks, I needed to touch her as much as I needed to breathe. If I couldn’t get my Dani fix, I turned into a cranky, surly bear. The only way I’d gotten through our short, preseason road trips was through Skype sex with her every night we were away, but even that wasn’t enough. As soon as the team got back into town, I’d been frantic to get my hands on her again. To draw her over my knee and give her the spanking we both needed.

  This was a dangerous game, but it was one I couldn’t stop playing.

  “Hi,” she breathed, reminding me that I was standing there like an idiot and hadn’t invited her inside. Anyone could see us from the street. Not that I thought my neighbors were spying on me, but several of my teammates lived in the area. Any number of guys could drive by at any moment. One more reason I shouldn’t be playing this game.

  I stepped back and waved Dani inside.

  “I brought something for you,” she said, stepping over the threshold and placing a hand between us when I tried to draw her against me for a kiss. She held up a bag from a Halloween supply shop. “Go put this on. I’ll be waiting for you.”

  I closed the door and grumbled my displeasure at her. By now, she should know how I felt about her trying to tell me what to do.

  “Just do it,” she said, rolling her eyes. Still a brat, but I was coming to crave her brattishness almost as much as every other part of her.

  Curiosity won out as it so often did when it came to things with Dani. She was constantly surprising me, always keeping me on my toes. So even though I ought to at least admonish her for giving me an order, I took the bag. “Don’t move a muscle. I want to undress you.” I loved peeling back every layer of her clothes, tasting her underneath as I uncovered a bit of skin, feeling the way her muscles jumped to attention from my efforts, hearing the soft sighs and throaty moans I could draw from her.