To Love Again

by Bertrice Small

  ***

  Autumn slipped into winter. The winds blew from the north, and at Villa Mare the shutters upon the portico were drawn tight, while the braziers filled with charcoal warmed the rooms on cold days. Cailin and Aspar lived quietly. They seemed to have a need only for each other. There were no further visitors to the villa after Basilicus's surprise arrival that autumn day. They preferred it that way.

  Aspar spent several days each week in the city attending to his duties. He saw his eldest son, Ardiburius, quite often, and one day in the senate Ardiburius boldly asked his father, "Why did you close our palace?"

  "Because I prefer living in the country," Aspar replied.

  "They say you have a young mistress with you," Ardiburius said.

  A small smile touched Aspar's lips, but was quickly gone. "They are correct," he told his son. "Unlike your stepmother, I prefer to conduct my affair in a discreet manner. Cailin is a gentle girl, and prefers the country to the city. It pleases me to please her."

  Ardiburius swallowed hard. "Do you care for her, Father?"

  Aspar stared at his son, wondering just where this was leading. Finally he said, "Yes, I do, and your mother would have liked her, too."

  "You do not love the lady Flacilla?"

  "No, Ardiburius, I do not. I would have thought that obvious to you from the beginning. The marriage was political. I needed the patriarch's approval of Leo, and I gained it by taking Flacilla off her family's hands," Aspar said. "What is it you want to tell me, my son? You have never been a man for this many words. You are a soldier, as I am. Speak!"

  "You must remove Patricius from the lady Flacilla's care, Father. He should not remain in her house any longer," Ardiburius said.

  "Why?" The word was sharp.

  "She has a very evil lover, Father. A man of wealth and great family. He has, I have it on the most reliable authority, debauched children as young as eight. Patricius is almost ten, and grows more beautiful every day. He is a charming child, as you know, and always eager to please. Your wife's lover has not yet violated him, but he has of late shown an interest in Patricius that is not healthy. My source is totally reliable, Father. My little brother must be protected."

  "You and Zoe must take him, then," Aspar said. "Sophia is not used to little boys, and he lacks respect for her. Patricius adores you, Ardiburius, and your wife knows well how to deal with rambunctious little boys. I will tell Flacilla that Patricius needs the company of other children, and as there are none in her house, I have decided to give him to you and Zoe. It will not seem like a criticism if I handle it that way. Hopefully her new interest will keep her amused, so she will not take offense. You know I cannot bring Patricius to Villa Mare. Cailin, of course, would adore it. She is meant to be a mother, but it would cause the very reaction I seek to avoid-a scandal. You understand, my son?"

  "Yes, Father," Ardiburius said. "Will you take Patricius today? It should be done as quickly as possible. I have already discussed the possibility of his coming to us with my family. Your grandson, David, is delighted to have his uncle join us. Being the eldest with two sisters after him, and his brother just a baby, it is hard for him."

  "You spoil him," Aspar growled, "but he seems a good lad despite it. He is six now, is he not? He and Patricius will get on quite well." He sighed gustily. "As much as I detest having to meet with Flacilla, I shall go now and fetch Patricius from her. Go home, Ardiburius, and tell Zoe that he will be coming to you by nightfall."

  The general left the senate and, mounting his horse, rode unescorted through the streets of the city to his wife's home. He needed no guard to keep him safe, and many recognized him, calling out to him, wishing him well. The gatekeeper at Flacilla's mansion greeted him pleasantly, and the majordomo, after hurrying forward to welcome him, sent a slave to his mistress to announce her husband's arrival.

  Flacilla Strabo was a beautiful woman. Small and delicate, she possessed gorgeous blond hair and sea-green eyes. She had been entertaining her lover when news of her husband's sudden and totally unexpected visit was brought to her. "Damn him!" she said irritably. "How like Aspar to come without any forewarning. My God! What if he has heard about us? He threatened to put me in St. Barbara's if I caused any new scandal, and my family will support him if he does!"

  Justin Gabras smiled lazily at her from the couch where he was reclining. A single black curl fell directly in the center of his forehead. He was tall and lean, and had dark eyes that seemed fathomless. "I would very much regret losing you, Flacilla," he drawled.

  "You must leave now!" she said fearfully as the silent slave stood waiting for her instructions to take back to the majordomo.

  Reaching out, Justin Gabras yanked Flacilla down into his lap, pulled the neckline of her chiton as low as he could, and lifting a plump breast out, began to fondle it vigorously. "Have your husband come in, Flacilla. I am very much looking forward to meeting him. His fame as the empire's general precedes him. I do not believe I have ever really met a truly brave man, but Aspar is said to be one."

  She struggled to escape him. "Are you mad?" she gasped as he lowered his head and he began to suckle strongly on her nipple. In answer, Justin Gabras bit sharply down on Flacilla's tingling breast, causing her to cry out. His eyes met hers, and Flacilla said weakly to the slave, "Have my husband join us here on the terrace, Marco." Then she gasped again as her lover slipped a hand beneath her gown, slid it quickly up her leg and began to tease at her little jewel. She moaned desperately, knowing that he would not cease until she gave him complete satisfaction, and that it would not matter in the least to him if Aspar walked in and found them in such a compromising attitude. Justin Gabras was the most perverse man she had ever known, and even though she was sometimes frightened of him, she could not resist him. "Ahhhhhh!" she moaned as he forced her to completion.

  He laughed, releasing her, and watched as Flacilla quickly straightened her garments and attempted to regain her composure. "He was probably on the stairs even as I made you obey me," he mocked her. "Did you think of him coming toward us as I played with you, my pet?"

  "You are a wicked man," she said, now angry that he had frightened her so greatly. "You love danger, but you involved me in it then."

  "And you loved it, Flacilla," he mocked her. "You are the perfect woman for me. You have breeding, and you are a very skilled whore. As your husband is leaving us today, I will have another little surprise in store for you, my pet. Does it excite you to think on it?"

  Before she could answer, however, Aspar came out onto the terrace. Flacilla arose and came forward to greet him. "My lord, why did you not tell me you were coming? Patricius will be so delighted to see you. He has been doing very well at his studies lately, his tutors say."

  "I apologize for interrupting you, and your guest, Flacilla," Aspar said with a hint of censure in his voice.

  She heard it, and quickly replied, "This is Justin Gabras, a gentleman from Trebizond, my lord. He is now making his home in the city. The patriarch has asked him to help me in a project to aid the poor. We were just discussing it when you arrived. Will you join us?"

  A small amused smile touched Aspar's lips, but it was quickly gone. "I have come for Patricius," he said. "I have decided to send him to live with Ardiburius and Zoe. You have been a good mother to him, Flacilla, but he is at an age now where he needs the company of other children. My grandson David is just slightly younger than Patricius, and will benefit as well from their shared companionship. Since both my elder son and daughter-in-law follow the Orthodox faith, Patricius will, of course, continue in that instruction. Will you send for him?"

  Flacilla was astounded, and frankly curious as to his apparently sudden decision, but she nodded. Calling a servant, she gave instructions that the boy be brought to them. "May I see Patricius on occasion, my lord?" she asked her husband. "I have grown fond of the child."

  "Of course," he said, smiling. "You are always welcome at my elder son's home to visit Patricius. He is fond of you also, I
know."

  Justin Gabras was fascinated. He had never seen two more poorly matched people. He would be sorry to see the boy go, too. Only recently he had begun to consider what an appetizing little tidbit the child would be. As Patricius was sweet-natured, and eager to please, seducing him would have been a simple matter. And afterward he would have taught him how to please his lusty stepmother as well. Bad luck, he thought, an opportunity lost, but another will appear.

  The general and his wife had grown silent, for they had little if nothing to say to each other. Aspar looked like a dull fellow, Justin Gabras thought. Brilliant in the field, but boring in the bedchamber. Flacilla politely offered wine, and then mercifully the boy came.

  "Father!" Aspar's youngest child ran into the room, his face joyful at the sight of the general. "What a grand surprise, Father!"

  Aspar caught the boy in an embrace, and then stepping back, said, "You have grown again, lad! And the lady Flacilla says your tutors give good reports of your studies. You make me proud, and I have come with a surprise for you. You are to go and live with your brother and his wife. Your cousin David is most eager for your arrival."

  "Ohh, Father! That is splendid news!" Patricius cried. "When am I to go?" Then his face fell, and turning toward Flacilla, he said almost apologetically, "I will miss you, lady. You have been good to me."

  Flacilla smiled, but there was no warmth in it. "I think your father has made an excellent decision, Patricius. You should be with other children, and my household is long past children."

  "If we left now, my lad, would that suit you?" Aspar asked his son. The boy nodded vigorously, and Aspar said to his wife, "Have old Marie pack my son's things up. You may send her and his tutors to Ardiburius's home tomorrow. Now, we will take our leave of you, my lady, and you may return to your business with this gentleman." He bowed politely to Flacilla first, and then to Justin Gabras. Taking Patricius's hand in his, they departed the terrace.

  When they were safely out of hearing, Patricius said to his father, "I am glad to be going to my brother's house, Father. The lady Flacilla entertains too many gentlemen, and this latest fellow frightens me. He was always watching me."

  "He did not touch you, or hurt you, my son, did he?"

  "Oh no, Father!" the boy assured his parent. "I never let him come that close to me. Marie says he is a very bad man."

  "You listen to your old nurse, Patricius. She loves you well," Aspar told his child. "Your mother picked her especially to care for you."

  Upon the terrace, Flacilla watched through the latticed screen that topped one of the low walls as her husband and his child rode off down the wide street. Justin Gabras stood behind her, his hands upon her hips, plunging himself in and out of her woman's passage as she leaned upon the parapet. "It was so sudden," she said irritably. "How typical of Aspar to make this surprise visit with its surprise ending."

  Her lover ground himself slowly into her, and bending over, whispered in her ear, "He thinks you no longer fit to watch over the child, my pet. Oh, he masked his intent with sweet words, but it was obvious to me what he was really thinking, Flacilla. What will the gossips make of it, I wonder, for it will certainly provide grist for their mills."

  She felt her crisis approaching, and moaned hungrily, thrusting her hips back to meet him. "I will… go… to the empress!" she gasped.

  Justin Gabras pushed Flacilla farther over so that she was almost bent double, enjoying her surprised scream as he moved from her temple of Venus and jammed himself into the entry of her temple of Sodom. His hands held heT firmly, stilling her feeble struggles as he leaned forward and bit her neck. "You will be the laughingstock of Constantinople, my pet. Everyone knows you for a whore, but now they will know you for a bad mother as well. Do you not ever wonder why your daughters do not visit you, Flacilla? Their husbands' families will not let them associate with you, I am told." His lust exploded into her aching body, and finally, with a satisfied groan, he withdrew from her.

  Flacilla burst into tears. "Why do you tell me these lies?" she demanded of him.

  "Because you have a delightful talent for perversion to match mine, my pet. You have barely scratched the surface of your own wickedness yet, but under my tutelage you will become a mistress of evil. Do not weep. You are too old to do so publicly; and your face is getting puffy. 'Tis most unattractive. I do not lie to you, Flacilla, when I say you are the perfect woman for me. I want to marry you. You have powerful family connections, and if I must remain here in Constantinople, then I want a wife such as you, my dear. A young girl would bore me. She would whine and complain about my tastes. You, however, will not, will you?"

  "You would let me take lovers?" she asked him nervously.

  "Of course," he said, laughing, "for I will take lovers, too." He took her hand and they lay together upon the couch. "Think of it, Flacilla! Think of what we could share together, and with no recriminations on either side. We could even share lovers. You know I enjoy both women and men as you do. Shall we go to Villa Maxima tonight and choose a lover to share? What about one of those wonderful dumb Northmen Jovian so favors? Or perhaps Casia is more to your taste? What say you?"

  "Let me think," she said. "Ohh, I wish that girl that Jovian featured in the first of his playlets was still here. She was so beautiful, but she disappeared very quickly. You did not see the performance, of course, not having yet come to Constantinople, but the girl took all three of those Northmen into her body at one time! Jovian never allowed anyone else to have her, and then suddenly she was gone. He would never explain what had happened to her. I think she may have killed herself. She did not look like a whore."

  "Let us have all three of the Northmen, then, Flacilla. You shall play the girl's part for me, and we shall have Casia as well," he said, kissing her quickly. "It will be a celebtation of our engagement."

  Flacilla sat up. "My family would never allow me to divorce Aspar and marry you," she said. "They value Aspar's influence too much. Though they forced him to wed me in order to gain their support for Leo, they have gotten much through his influence, Justin. They will not easily give all that up."

  "Do not ask your family, Flacilla. Ask your husband for a divorce. I suspect he wants to ask you for one, and removing his child from your care is his first step along the road to ridding himself of you. Once again Aspar will embarrass you and hold you up to ridicule. Sttike first, my pet! I doubt he cares as long as he is rid of you."

  "What if he refuses me?" she said. "You never know with Aspar."

  "Then you can go to your family," Justin replied. "Your husband is not a god, Flacilla. There must be some weakness of his you can play upon. Have you learned nothing in the time you were married to him?"

  "Actually," she admitted, "I know little of him. We have never lived together, nor slept together. He is an enigma to me."

  "Then you must spy upon him to learn what we need to know, my pet, for I will have you, or no one will!" He kissed her hard.

  After a night of particularly wild debauchery, Flacilla awoke clear-headed and determined. "Send a messenger to my husband's palace," she told her majordomo, "and say that I wish to visit him this morning. I shall arrive before the noon hour."

  "The general is not at his palace, my lady," the majordomo said. "He closed his palace up some months ago, and lives at Villa Mare now. Shall I send a messenger to the country to inform him you are coming, my lady? The villa is just five miles beyond the gates."

  "No," Flacilla said. "Do not bother. I will simply go. By the time a messenger went and returned, I could be there myself. Have my litter made ready." She dismissed the majordomo and called her maids.

  Wanting to make a good impression, Flacilla chose her garments carefully. Her stola was blue-green in color, and matched her eyes. It was shot through with gold threads, and the fabric was very rich. The sleeves were long and tight, and the garment was belted at the waist with a wide gold belt that was most flattering. Her gold slippers were beautifully bejeweled, and her hair
was a mass of golden braids, fastened high and decorated with jewels. A matching cloak lined in fur completed her outfit. Flacilla stared hard at herself in the polished silver mirror. Then she smiled, well-pleased. Aspar would be impressed.

  Her bearers hurried along the Mese and through the Golden Gate. The day was pleasant, and she could see through the bit of drapery she left open the cattle grazing in the fallow fields. Here and there peasants were pruning trees in the orchards that occasionally lined the road. It was a soothing and most pastoral scene, Flacilla thought, if not just perhaps a bit boring. Why was Aspar living in the country? The litter turned into the gates of the Villa Mare, and entering the courtyard, came to a stop. The vehicle was set down and the curtains drawn back. A hand was extended to help her out.

  "Who are you?" Flacilla demanded of the elderly servant.

  "I am Zeno, General Aspar's majordomo," was the polite reply.

  "I am the lady Flacilla, the general's wife. Please tell him that I have arrived," she said grandly, "and you may show me into the atrium now, Zeno, and bring me some wine."

  Zeno was horrified, but his face did not show his consternation. "If my lady will follow me," he said calmly.

  It was a charming little villa, Flacilla thought. She had never been here before. A bit too rustic for her taste, but peaceful. She could not, however, understand why Aspar would prefer it to his palace in the city. Making herself comfortable upon a marble bench, she sat down to wait for her wine and for her husband to make an appearance.

  Aspar arrived before her refreshment. His greeting was less than cordial. "What are you doing here, Flacilla? What could have possibly brought you into the country on a winter's morning at so early an hour?" He looked distinctly uncomfortable, and she wondered why. Then it dawned upon Flacilla that her husband, the morally upright Aspar, had taken a mistress. He was living with her and wanted no one to know of it. Why, the old fox! Flacilla almost laughed aloud. "I have come on a matter of some importance," she began, swallowing to conceal her amusement.