Blossoms of The Heart

by Khardine Gray

  “Thanks, Uncle.”

  He set it on the counter and gave me a pat on my back then gave me a pensive look with his lips pressed together like he was contemplating something.

  I didn’t need to ask what that was.

  “Candace?” I offered.

  “Yes. You two back together?” A tentative look now filled his face, like he didn’t think it was a good idea.

  “No. She just thinks it’s a good idea to ride my fucking ass until I take her back.”

  He frowned at my use of language.

  “Sorry.” I pressed my lips together to stop from laughing. “I mean she won’t leave me alone.”

  “Got to sort that out, son.”

  “Yeah. I know. I’m trying.” I quickly filled him in on what happened yesterday.

  “Well you have to tell her soon. You look repressed and depressed. Not like a man who wants to take back a woman he once loved. She will be able to pick up on that and that’s disrespectful. Also, you can’t look at Phoebe the way you do in front of Candace. That’s also disrespectful.”

  Embarrassment took me. I wasn’t aware that he’d seen the way I look at Phoebe.

  “Oh, right.”

  “I’m serious, Tai. You guys might make fun of me for coming from a different time but in my day we just got straight to the point.”

  I could have laughed at myself because he was completely right.

  “I’ll tell her tomorrow.”

  “Yes, you don’t want any unnecessary trouble.”

  Like fuck. Trouble was getting ready to rear its ugly head.

  Trouble seeped into me the minute I sat back down.

  I noticed the other day that I could be normal around Phoebe for about five minutes before her presence started taking effect.

  I could only explain it like having an out of body experience.

  But trapped in my mind. Today seemed to be worse and not filled with the haze of lust that overpowered me last time.

  Today as I looked at her, and listened to her talk, all I could see before me were memories.

  Memories of what used to be. Memories I stored away in my heart and dared not think of because it would remind me of how much I’d missed her.

  It would remind me of how the ball was actually in my court to make some form of contact over the years, but I didn’t.

  She asked me the other day if I was ever scared when I was in Iraq.

  I told her the truth, and she got the chance then to ask me what did scare me.

  If she asked I would have lied because the only thing that had ever really scared me in my life was the fear of not being good enough for her.

  Having her mother confirm that I wasn’t was a massive blow to me.

  How dare I the tattooed freak with no ambition, try to defile her precious princess?

  “Oh my God that was the year when Tai had bad hair.” Mitsuke suddenly said.

  Her words and outburst of laughter brought me out of my thoughts. I hadn’t caught on to what was said prior to that, but I remembered that year very well.

  Phoebe looked at me, eyes wide. She remembered too.

  “Yes someone thought it was a good idea to drop a can of oil paint on my head.” I gave her an accusing stare.

  “It was an accident.” Phoebe defended raising her hands and drawing my attention to the candy pink polish on her nails. It matched her lips but the pink on her lips was subtler.

  “Of course it was. Buckets of paint just somehow happen to land on people’s heads.”

  “How did that happen Phoebe?” Akito asked. “I wasn’t aware that was your fault.”

  Her skin colored fiercely making Mitsuke laugh even more. “I went to find Tai. He was at the old barn with some friends. Somehow the paint fell and caught him.”

  It was explanations like that she used to give in the past, leaving out all the key details and using that damn somehow word I hated.

  “She was spying on me way past her bed time. Princess Phoebe thought she had a great hiding spot among some old cans of paint that was stored on the upper level of the barn. The ceiling caved in and down came the paint on to me. Not my friends just me.”

  “Well at least I saved you from getting a tattoo that could have gone wrong.” Phoebe shook her head.

  “Phoebe I would have preferred Sho’s tattoo than having to shave my head.” Sho had actually became a tattoo artist. He’d set up shop in Sapporo, and was doing extremely well for himself.

  “But you didn’t just simply shave your head.” Mitsuke had to point out. She glanced at Candace and remembered she was sitting next to me.

  She’d been quiet.

  “No my hair was fucked.”

  Akito kicked my leg under the table for my use of language.

  “Sorry, I mean my hair was messed up.”

  The girls all laughed.

  “First we had to get the paint off his scalp.” Mitsuke thought she’d explain, much to my embarrassment. “But because it was oil paint, and old, it just stuck in there and wouldn’t come out. So we had to cut it out and loosen it up over a few days.”

  “Yes, thanks to Princess Phoebe my entire year was fuc –”

  Akito kicked me again before I could finish. They laughed again.

  “It was an accident.” Phoebe jumped in.

  “Yes, every year there was something. That somehow was an accident.” That time I tried to say it just like her.

  “No, that’s not true.” She argued.

  “Okay let’s do this. The year we went to Mantengai Cliff and we both fell in the gorge. You broke both arms and your leg, and I got blamed for it.”

  “I was being chased by an albatross. I somehow bumped into you. I didn’t know we would fall.”

  “It wasn’t an albatross. Do you know how rare it is to see an albatross?”

  Mitsuke was hollering, laughing so hard tears ran down her cheek.

  Akito was laughing too. “Maybe it was a seagull dear.” He offered.

  “Or a pigeon. It definitely wasn’t a damn albatross. How could I miss a big assed bird like that. You forget I was there too.”

  “It was an albatross. I know what I saw.” She folded her arms under her breasts and pressed her lips together, eyeing me sharply.

  “Whatever. Anyway then there was the year we went camping and we both got poison ivy.”

  “Because of you and your stupid evil yōkai stories. I thought one was outside my tent so I fled and somehow I ran straight into you in my escape. I didn’t know we’d fall in the bush with the ivy. Or that it was poison ivy.”

  “No comment.” I grimaced because I was certain that was a lie of sorts because she was spying on me. “The worse year was when we all went to Kanazawa to see the samurai villages, and you decided to venture off on your own and I went looking for you.”

  “That was because you upset me. I was twelve and Mom cut my hair too short. You told me I looked like Mowgli from Jungle book.”

  Mitsuke started dabbing her eyes with tissue.

  “That didn’t warrant running off. Princess Phoebe went all the way to a neighboring farm and accidentally set all the animals free. I spent the whole day chasing pigs and sheep so you wouldn’t have to, then princess here wouldn’t help me.”

  “I didn’t want to touch the pigs.” She was trying not to laugh but failed.

  I got blamed for that too. Somehow it turned into my fault.

  “I don’t know how you managed without me all these years.” I added.

  “Don’t act like you didn’t miss me. At least I made summer fun.”

  “I did miss you.” I said that with more emotion than I realized I could express. Probably because the damn words came straight from my heart. I looked at Phoebe, holding her gaze.

  Her eyes brightened and affection glowed within them. “I missed you too.”

  In her words I got the answer I’d thought about for so long.

  The moment however was interrupted when Candace said, “wow sounded like you gu
ys had some crazy summers.”

  Candace.

  The discomfort of not fitting into the conversation was very evident in her tone.

  I blinked several times and looked from Mitsuke to Phoebe. Both of them wore the same pensive expression.

  “Yes we did.” I turned to her and answered.

  Mitsuke thankfully changed the conversation to work. She started talking about the assignment in LA she was going on tomorrow and writing.

  One thing I loved about Mitsuke was that she could be blunt but she could also be kind. She knew talk of writing was something Candace could join in on.

  “Writing is my life,” Candace agreed

  “What are you working on now?” Phoebe asked.

  “The magazine wants me to cover all the festivals but I was thinking of sneaking in a few pieces about your samurai. Tai said he could give me all the juice.”

  “Oh cool.” Again Phoebe glanced at me.

  I could have kicked myself. It was me who suggested she do that damn story. I was just trying to offer some inspiration.

  “Yes, I guess that means I’m going to be attached to you like glue, mister.” Candace leaned into me, practically purring like a kitten. “Can’t accuse me now of not making time for you.”

  Jesus Christ, she really was acting like we were together. Tension crept in again.

  “That’s cute.” Phoebe again glanced at me. I knew exactly what she was thinking. That I was a complete asshole for being the way I was with her when I had a girlfriend. Except I didn’t have a girlfriend.

  This was my damn fault.

  “Phoebe, there must be a Mister Phoebe back home. You are incredibly beautiful. I will be shocked if you say no.”

  The question I suppose was a standard one, but something flashed in Phoebe’s eyes that got to me.

  Now I knew this girl from the dawn of our time. Eleven years might have passed without me seeing her but I had a lifetime prior to that to analyze her.

  Something I recognized as pain flickered in her eyes. I recognized it for the contrast it made to the normal glint that would sparkle in her.

  The last time I saw that look was when Rukia died. The next time I saw that look was that awful night eleven years ago when we last saw each other.

  The look told me that she was deeply hurt. But tonight she was masking it.

  Mister Phoebe.

  Who was he and what did he do to my girl?

  My girl…

  She should have been.

  “Nope, there’s no Mister Phoebe. Too busy.” Phoebe swallowed and bit the inside of her lip.

  “Oh God, there’s no way you can be too busy to date.” Candace smirked.

  Even Mitsuke looked uncomfortable at the direction the conversation had steered.

  Something had happened that I didn’t know about and it had to do with this elusive Mr. Phoebe.

  “You know what? I’m kind of full and beat,” Phoebe said. Her chair scraped against the floor as she pushed it back and stood to go. “We have to be at the cave early tomorrow so I’m gonna call it a night.”

  “Oh I get it, and I don’t envy you. Caves are not me at all.” Candace gave her one of her dazzling smiles.

  “Let me know if you need anything.” Akito offered. “The cookies should be just right in about an hour.”

  She smiled at him then proceeded with a haste I recognized. She was upset.

  It was Mitsuke who looked at me now but with a little irritation. I didn’t entertain the look. Candace was about to start another round of conversation but I got up before she could and went after Phoebe.

  Chapter 14

  Phoebe

  What was wrong with me?

  I knew I shouldn’t be doing this to myself. Comparing.

  Comparing myself.

  I was completely thrown when Tai’s perfect maybe girlfriend, or whatever the hell she was walked in earlier but I saw through her shit straight away.

  Sweet as she appeared to be I knew it was all fake, and I hated sitting through it. It was clear that she was marking her territory, putting her claim on Tai and letting us know that she was going to be busy with him. So much so he wouldn’t have to complain that she had no time for him.

  I dealt with it, pushed it aside, and moved it out of my mind.

  But she struck a nerve. Mister Phoebe.

  Her last tactic, trying to find out if I was single and then encouraging me to date. Like I needed dating advice from her. What hit me was the reminder of Jason because the whole awkwardness of tonight reminded me of Jason.

  The beautiful woman in the room that was better than me, the beautiful woman in the room that did her best to emphasize her relationship with the guy I compared everyone to, the beautiful woman in the room who knew she had me where she wanted me.

  It was a completely different scenario, but my mind compared it to the satisfied smile I saw on Jason’s secretary’s face when I caught him cheating. That I have your man look.

  Of course remembering that took me right back to the accident. My Mister Phoebe sent me running straight into the arms of death and I was still paying for it. When I compared myself to someone else the first thing I thought of was my inability to have kids.

  Tai’s perfect girlfriend… I was sure she could have children. No problem.

  I didn’t head to my room. I was going to the terrace for some air.

  I stepped outside into the cool night breeze deciding I’d actually take a walk down by the beach but before I could take the steps that led down to the path a powerful hand clutched my arm.

  Startled, I twisted around and saw Tai.

  He pulled me towards him and we just stood there in silence.

  My heart was beating so fast, and I could barely catch my breath.

  He came after me, just like he always used to when he knew I was upset. But how did he know?

  I was certain I looked fine when I left the table.

  He reached out and touched my cheek, running his finger along my jaw.

  The touch, the thrill that zinged through me from that simple touch made all my worries disappear.

  In the moonlight the strength he exuded made him look like a dark angel towering over me. The want in his eyes was clear. It must have reflected my own.

  My lips trembled when he pressed his finger to them, and he leaned in closer, biting his own lip.

  “Fuck it,” was all he said before his lips came crashing down on mine.

  His body burned mine with a shared and searing passion filling me with a thrilling sensation. Heat met heat as he ravished my mouth with savage kisses.

  His merciless mouth claimed mine, coaxing and confident, knowing I wanted him too.

  Fire flickered over my body, scorching me everywhere he touched. His hands, God his hands felt like they were everywhere. Lacing through my hair, running down my shoulders, squeezing my ass—which he did with a loud moan into my throat—and then over my breasts.

  I caressed his well-muscled chest too while he continued to feel me up and sucked on his tongue as he explored my mouth.

  His hands went back up to my head and the kiss somewhat deepened.

  But then… I heard it.

  Ever so faintly but there.

  Tai’s name—someone was calling him.

  Not just any old someone. It was Candace.

  I instantly stopped kissing him and pulled back, but he didn’t move. His eyes held mine, holding me in place. Freezing me.

  He didn’t need to say anything. I could practically hear his thoughts.

  It’s complicated.

  I got it. Understood it completely, had front row tickets to it.

  What caught and held my attention however was the deep sadness in his eyes. And disappointment as he turned and walked away from me.

  Tai

  “There you are,” Candace said, she offered a little smile and rested her hand on the door frame. “I just thought I’d check to see when we’re going. I know you have to be up early tomorrow.
”

  While she smiled and acted like nothing was wrong it was clear from the uneasy expression on her face that, that wasn’t the reason why she came out here.

  I stepped into the corridor and stared at her, trying to bridle my emotions.

  This was a mess.

  My damn fucking mess.

  My fault. My fault for giving her hope and not being straight with her.

  It was all bull shit and I needed to fix it. I was turning myself into that guy who was stringing two women along. Basically an idiot.

  I had to do it now.

  But here?

  I knew Mitsuke at least would be listening out to hear what was happening. Akito too, maybe. Then there was Phoebe. She was just outside on the terrace, or maybe she’d continued her pursuit down to the beach.

  “We leave now,” I replied.

  Couldn’t do it here. I didn’t want to risk embarrassing her or maybe causing an argument if I said the wrong thing. That would really ruin the night.

  “Cool. I’ll go get my bag.” She moved to go but the sweet smile turned into a tight lipped one.

  I didn’t return to the dining room. I just went outside and sat in the car. Mitsuke and Akito would probably guess what was going on when I didn’t go back.

  Candace joined me a few seconds later with that anxious look still on her face and we drove to her apartment in silence.

  Forty minutes of awkward, tense silence.

  While she stared out the window, I got lost in my thoughts trying to determine when would be best to talk. Right now I was too angry. Angry at myself.

  Tomorrow was best. I would have calmed down by then.

  I’d do it when I got back from Akiyoshido, just like I planned before the debacle of this weekend began.

  When I pulled up on the curb outside her block she turned to face me and smiled.

  “Do you want to come up, or maybe stay over?” She asked, seduction oozed from the stare. “You look tense. Sex could loosen you up.”

  When I glowered at her, her smile slipped. “Jesus Christ you want me to sleep with you?” Fuck it. Talking couldn’t wait until tomorrow. Now. We had to talk right the hell now. “Candace we need to talk.”