Forms of Love

by Rita Clay Estrada

  “You didn’t get permission.”

  She shook her head. “They never knew what I was doing.”

  “It’s ours,” he insisted, unable to think of anything else to say, but determined to continue his quest.

  She looked at him in disgust. He’d seen that look before. He knew she was right, but he refused to give in. It was a soapbox—his soapbox—and one that he’d stand on forever. He reached over and flipped the toggle switch that spewed out the slides. She reached out to stop him but her actions were too slow. All the other slides spewed out.

  “Damn you!” she cried, for the first time losing control of her anger. “You had no right to do that. You ruined them! That was a lifetime’s work I cannot get back, Dan.”

  “Don’t you get it? It wasn’t yours! If you held a gun to a man’s head and robbed him in a dark alley, you couldn’t have stolen more! It’s bad enough you want to take my child from me, but you can’t steal clones of those men, too!”

  Kendra stared at him as if he’d just uttered something insane.

  A rage brought about by frustration filled him like fiery lava from a volcano. When it reached his brain, he couldn’t move. For just a fleeting moment, he felt as if he was about to implode.

  He wanted to envelop her in his arms and make her listen to the messages his heart was delivering when his tongue couldn’t find the words.

  Instead, he felt her soothing mental touch, cooling the anger, stroking the giant rage in him until it was manageable once more. Tangled threads of feeling wove through him, disengaging, untangling the knots. I’m not sure I understand, but I respect your desire, she “told” him.

  Suddenly, her soothing stopped. Dan waited a moment, wondering what was different. Then he knew. Someone else was probing. He immediately blocked his thoughts by imaging a picture of the outside of the spaceship.

  Kendra’s gaze widened in fear. She touched his hand. “You must leave,” she whispered. With urgent steps, she strode out of the room toward the exit. Her anxiety was almost as palpable as his anger had been earlier.

  He followed her out, still holding the image of the exterior of the ship. The pain became more intense as the probe plumbed his thoughts. Dan knew it was Cowboy—and this time, he was allowing Dan to receive a message, as well. It was clear, concise and to the point.

  The message told him to get the hell out and run. Dan realized that the slides, Kendra’s pregnancy—nothing would matter if he didn’t take matters in hand and leave now to fight another day. It didn’t even matter that Kendra had chosen to allow him his memories. If Cowboy had his way, Dan wouldn’t even be alive.

  6

  KENDRA LED DAN down the ramp to the rocky ground. Concentrating on speed and stealth, she maneuvered them around the side to the back of the ship. There, she stood perfectly still, trying to find Cowboy’s location and probe his mind.

  Cowboy probed Dan again and the pain was severe. It seemed the jerk was in love with dishing out pain. Dan closed his eyes and tried not to moan aloud. When it stopped, he took a gulp of air and prepared for the next onslaught.

  It began again.

  “Go with it,” Kendra whispered, squeezing his hand in encouragement. “Think of nothing else but your pain, and he will feel it too.”

  He held his breath and concentrated on the intense sting of the needlelike probe into his thoughts. The probing seemed to hesitate, then begin again. When it withdrew, it left him weak and shaking from head to foot.

  “Easy.” Her other hand touched his arm as if soothing a young child. “He’s close by,” she whispered softly. “That’s why it’s so strong. You need to get out of here. You’ll be safe once you clear the ship area.”

  “Why? He can track me anywhere. You said so yourself.”

  “He won’t. He’s after me because he knows I’ve broken the rules and doesn’t want me to break any more. He wants to make sure that I stay here and am ready for the flight home.”

  Kendra quickly led him away from the ship to the top of the trail. They descended the footpath more carefully than they managed to climb it. There were no grips, no handholds, just a dizzying, straight-down track on rock, loose shale and the occasional prickly scrub. After the last probe, Dan still felt a little light-headed. It took all his concentration to focus on Kendra’s back.

  All he had to do was get to the boat....

  Just as Dan reached the shoreline, the mind probe came unexpectedly and he had to stop and hold his head to ease the pounding. As it slackened, he fumbled with the rope until it unraveled from the bush where it was tied. Scrambling into the center of the raft, he halted for a moment and stared at Kendra. He didn’t want to leave her behind to fend off that jackass by herself. It wasn’t fair. She should be with him.

  But he didn’t bother to ask her again. She knew how he felt and he knew she wouldn’t change her mind. He could rant and rave, but she didn’t have to do a damn thing he said. She could take his daughter and leave, and it was out of his hands. She knew what he was thinking and had answered him. Nothing more could be said. “Will you be all right?” he finally asked.

  Her face was pale, her eyes dark and luminous while she took in his features as if memorizing them. Instead of speaking, she slowly nodded. But the shocked look on her face said the direct opposite. He had a feeling she knew something he wasn’t telling her.

  “Is it Cowboy?”

  She nodded again.

  “Tell him to go to hell,” he growled.

  “He knows about the slides.” She sounded as if she was going to cry.

  The feeling of satisfaction at having ruined the DNA samples stuck with him. He didn’t care if Cowboy was angry. No one had the right to do what they were doing. Kendra must have heard his thoughts, for she gave him another hug.

  All thoughts of revenge or anger fled with her in his arms. He couldn’t make himself get into the raft alone. Despite the pain he knew would be forthcoming if he stayed, he couldn’t not see her again. He asked the question, already knowing her answer. “Come with me,” he finally managed. “Please.”

  Pulling back, she shook her head, her own eyes glazing with tears. “I must return. I have no choice. Herfron is my home, just as Earth is yours. Besides, I have to explain myself to my superiors. I must make my homecoming.”

  “Why?” He gave a crooked grin and reached for her hand. “You’re three-quarters human and one-quarter Herfronite. It seems to me that you should spend at least a year or two visiting relatives. Don’t you think our daughter should know this side of her family first?” It was a weak attempt at humor.

  “Oh, Dan,” she whispered, her emotions apparently as strained and drawn as his. “I wish...” She gave his hand a squeeze in place of the words that would not be voiced aloud.

  Dan felt the probe again, but this time it was less intense. He felt the tendrils of thought wind around him, and pretended that he was on the path above. Then, suddenly, a thought radioed directly to him from their predator. One single, but very strong, decision had been made by the Herfronite who was following them. The message was clear: Cowboy was going to kill them both.

  Kendra’s expression told him she’d gotten the same message and was stunned. If possible, her face turned even more white. Fear sheened her eyes. Her mouth formed a small O and her gaze darted around the brush as if searching for a hiding spot.

  Dan dropped her hand and reached for the oar. Finally, he was in control and knew what to do. Whether Kendra liked it or not, she was going with him. “Get in.”

  “Dan, I...” She looked around again.

  “There’s no more time. Get in!” he barked. Both of them were surprised when she did as she was told.

  Pushing off from the bank, Dan headed for the center of the river where the current was swiftest. It was time to get away as fast as possible. All his attention focused on the eddies and river currents. As long as Kendra was directly behind him, he didn’t need to worry about what her insane compatriot was going to do to her. He only
had to make sure there was as much distance as possible between them and the maniac pursuing them. He wanted to keep them alive.

  Once more he remembered Cowboy’s horrible threat. A shiver zinged down his spine and he felt the icy fingers of fear invade every part of him. Even his overwhelming anger took a back seat to the thought that someone could take Kendra away for good. And she was carrying their child—a part of him.

  It’s okay, Kendra malked to him. Her hand lightly brushed his shoulder, then soothed down his back. Really. We’ll work it out. Somehow.

  Dan clenched the paddle, his knuckles turning white. “My God, Kendra. He wants to kill us both! It doesn’t sound like this jackass wants to work anything out!”

  She was silent. But her hands spoke; they continued to soothe and stroke him. With every twist and turn they took, every rapid they rode, every boulder they circumvented, Dan breathed a sigh of relief. It meant one more obstacle between them and Cowboy.

  Normally, they would have rafted downriver until dusk, but with Cowboy after them, Dan felt he needed to do something different to throw him off the trail. He just wasn’t sure how. Several years ago he’d found a small spot on the riverbank that led to another canyon. If he could only find it again.

  Late that afternoon, he almost passed by the little cove covered with brush on the Mexican side of the river. At the last moment he pulled in to shore. Once he docked, it took less than ten minutes to empty the boat and drag all the supplies over the steep hill to the other side. When he was satisfied that all was well and the campsite he’d chosen was right, Dan left Kendra there and went back for one more thing—the raft.

  He couldn’t leave it in the open for Cowboy to find, nor could he trust himself to hide it well enough not to be seen from the river. He hadn’t asked Kendra how good a Herfronite’s eyesight was, but neon yellow rubber wasn’t hard to see in the dark; once a flashlight was on it, it stood out like a beacon in the night. The raft was their only chance to get farther downriver and survive, but it was also the one arrow that would point to their whereabouts.

  It took Dan over fifteen minutes to deflate the raft and carry it back to the camp. Since the foot pump was in his car, which was now in the park another several miles downriver, it would take triple the time to blow it up in the morning.

  Meanwhile, he had some questions to ask Kendra. The best way to fight an enemy was to know him. Well, the enemy knew Dan but he didn’t have the same advantage. There had to be a way to even the odds.

  * * *

  KENDRA STRETCHED on the top of a sleeping bag and stared at the deep blue afternoon sky. It would be several hours before darkness came and she could see her home.

  Internally, she could still feel the shivers that passed through her body. She was afraid, so very afraid. Cowboy had threatened to take both the baby and Dan away from her. In fact, Cowboy wanted her dead. She couldn’t believe it. He’d told her that she wasn’t a good specimen, that she had broken too many rules and had allowed the human access to the ship; and the slides had been ruined because of her personality flaw. She had to die. What amazed her was that Cowboy expected her to remain where she was until he arrived to do the job. Probably other Herfronites might have obeyed. But not her. Not her and her daughter. And not Dan. Not the man she would protect with her own willful life.

  Before night descended, there would be several hours in which she would cook, eat, plan, scheme and love the one person who had turned all her ingrained values topsy-turvy. The one man who made her consider making her home with him.

  A week ago, she never would have dreamed of hiding from her own kind. Common sense told her she had to find other Herfronites and beg them to help her establish a rapport with her Elders. Perhaps they could protect her and Dan until she straightened out this misunderstanding.

  That brought another question. She had been the first to return to the ship. Where were all the others? What had happened?

  No matter what the answers, she knew she had to go home eventually. This short time with Dan was only a reprieve, not the solution.

  The others who had come with her might not return to the ship for another night or two. When they appeared, perhaps Cowboy would recant his decision. Perhaps.... But she knew better. The others had nothing to do with changing Cowboy’s mind. She wasn’t naive enough to believe that fairy tale.

  Stones skittered down the hillside and Kendra mentally imagined the person responsible. Dan. Dan with the deflated yellow raft in his arms and fear in his heart. Her heartbeat quickened at seeing him again. He was coming with questions. Well, answers were the least she could give him. He needed answers to make his next decision—whatever decision that was. She hoped it would serve them both well.

  Suddenly his mind closed and she couldn’t read him anymore. Had he known she was probing? She had tried to be so gentle. She didn’t know if Dan realized they had been connected most of this trip. Had he known of her invasion and not wanted her to read his thoughts?

  He dropped the yellow bundle next to the sleeping bag and stared down at her.

  “We need to talk,” he stated grimly.

  She knew that already, and was prepared. “You wouldn’t let me read you. Why?” she asked bluntly.

  “Because I don’t know if there’s just one crazy Herfronite out there or if others like you may have returned early. If they did, they might malk me and tell your fellow Herfronite where we are.”

  Kendra sat up and pushed her dark hair over her shoulders. He was becoming more logical than she was. “Of course. I didn’t think of that.”

  She hesitated, calming her manner and preparing to do a search herself, to see if anyone out there was responsive to her. After a moment, she smiled. “I don’t think we have to worry about that right now. The mountain behind us seems to be a good block to malking.”

  “Good. But the sooner we get away from here, the better off we’ll be. The danger is real, Kendra. For both of us.”

  “I know. I’m so sorry you’re involved. I should never have chosen you to pick me up.”

  “You didn’t pick me,” he countered. “I chose to pick you up.” Her look was disbelieving but he decided to ignore it. “But now I need to get us out of here alive.”

  “Tell me what I can do.”

  “I have to know as much about Cowboy as you do. Anything about him could be a clue to eliminating him.”

  “Eliminate?” Her eyes widened. “As in kill?”

  “If necessary.”

  “I can’t let you do that. It would be very wrong.”

  “We may not have a choice.”

  “Herfronites do not condone killing.” Kendra knew she sounded stubborn, but this was too important an issue to let slide.

  “Why don’t I believe that? Your Cowboy isn’t following either of us for our health, honey. He wants to kill us. You know that as well as I do. We both read that thought correctly or you wouldn’t be with me now.”

  It didn’t matter what others did, she could not accept killing. But Cowboy was the exception, and she didn’t know why. Maybe they would find out later, when they were in the car and headed toward wherever....

  Kendra took a deep breath. Then, with a sigh, she patted the spot next to her. “Sit down and let’s talk,” she said. “Then we’ll see what needs to be done.”

  Reluctantly, Dan did as he was told, sitting at the bottom end of the sleeping bag. “What is Cowboy’s name and how long has he been here?”

  “His name is Dirk. He’s been here for a long time. Apparently he’s watched many shiploads of us come and go. To use an old term in our tradition, he guards the gates.”

  “Like the devil he is,” he said, his thoughts jumping ahead. “His being here a long time means that he could be a rogue.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Because he’s been away from his own kind so long, he might not relate to them. And because he’s police for his kind here, he might not relate to new Herfronites, either. If that’s the case, he could
be working alone, making his own decisions without checking with his superiors to know what he should do.”

  “No.” Kendra shook her head emphatically. “That could never be.”

  “What would you call it? The man is vowing to kill both of us, and with no reason! You were just showing me around. If he didn’t like it, he should have known you could have erased my memory. That would end the problem—at least as he saw it.”

  “He knew you ruined the slides and I was responsible.”

  “That still doesn’t mean you should die for it.”

  “And I haven’t been following all the rules,” she admitted, as if committing a sin were equal to killing.

  “Man, you people are tough. None of those offenses are worth death.”

  Kendra frowned, caught up in Dan’s logic. He was right about his thoughts being wiped out. Dan didn’t have to die to eliminate the problem. And she was willing to return home, no matter how much she wanted to remain with Dan. Dirk’s behavior didn’t make sense.

  On the other hand, the only explanation that fit was the one that Dan had given: Dirk was a rogue.

  An invisible but very real, icy-cold mantle dropped over Kendra’s shoulders when she thought of Cowboy pursuing them for no apparent reason. No matter what Dan said, Kendra knew that Dirk would catch up with them. On their own terra, Herfronites were slow, occasionally plodding. However, here on Earth there wasn’t as strong a pull of gravity or the heaviness of the air to impede them.

  On both planets their minds were clear and concise; the no-nonsense, logical mind of a scientist. All that made Dirk’s actions and thoughts a mystery. What was his plan? Why would he want to kill one of his own when Kendra had already malked him that she was resigned and reluctantly ready to go home?

  Either Dirk wasn’t being logical or Kendra was missing a vital piece of the puzzle.