The Wedding

by Lorhainne Eckhart

  “What is wrong with you?” he snapped. He let Neil go and kicked the empty bottle on the barn floor, his gaze taking in the empty beer bottles scattered there, too. “Neil, I’ve been patient with you, and so has Jed. Andy, obviously, was more interested in helping you tie one on than getting you to go make things right with Candy. It should be you sitting beside her hospital bed. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re hurting her. Or is that what you’re trying to do—send her the message that she’s no use to you now that she can’t have kids anymore and that’s all she was good for, that you don’t love her enough? That’s pretty low, especially for you. I’ve never known you to treat a woman this way.”

  “Look, I feel bad. Andy is the only one who’s given me space to think. He hasn’t come down on me. He’s listened, because I don’t know what the hell to do. I didn’t expect this, and I can’t help the way I feel. I want children; my own kids. Do you get that?” he shouted. He had to hold onto his head, which was pounding harder, as if it would explode from his outburst.

  “Look, I know you do. We all know, and I don’t know how I would feel if I were in your shoes, but if that was Emily this had happened to—I’d be glued to her bedside. I’d be with her, worried about her.” Brad put his hand on Neil’s shoulder. “If having kids is more important to you than Candy, you need to let her know, but kicking her when she’s down is not the way to do it. You need to go to the hospital, take care of her. After she’s on her feet, you need to let her down gently. She’s a nice lady, Neil. If you walk away from her now, Emily and I will look out for her, but I don’t think Emily will ever forgive you, and I don’t want that kind of rift in the family. Decide now; what kind of man are you?” Brad started to leave before turning back to Neil. “Oh, and clean up this mess. Get these bottles out of my barn. I have a ranch to run, and in about an hour I’ve got the farrier coming to shoe some horses,” he said. Then he left.

  Neil slumped onto the hay bale with one hell of a hangover. He wanted to kick something because he knew Brad was right. How was he going to face Candy? She’d know how he was feeling: hurt, angry, and confused. Hell, he didn’t know what he wanted out of this mess, but what he did know was that he needed to suck it up, go see his girl, and figure out where they would go from here.

  Chapter 29

  Neil still felt as if something had crawled inside him and died, but at least the pounding in his head had dimmed to something he could live with after swallowing a couple Advil. He’d cleaned up the barn, showered to remove the stench of old whiskey that seeped from his pores, and grabbed some of the leftovers stuffed in the fridge from the wedding feast. There were devilled eggs, and he’d used some of the roast beef to make a sandwich.

  The kids were fussy, and with Jed and Brad the only two home to look after them, the house had quickly become a disaster. The kitchen was scattered with dirty dishes, leftover food on plates, and the kitchen table still held the remnants of the kids’ breakfast. Brad and Jed appeared cranky and ready to snap, and while Neil pulled on his black leather coat, Jed held a fussing Christopher and tossed him his truck keys.

  “Take my truck, and send my wife back here,” he snapped. Neil was pretty sure Jed hadn’t slept much. He appeared tired, and when Danny started fussing and pulling on his jeans, he let out a sigh. “Come on, Danny. Give Daddy a break.”

  “Daddy, up,” Danny whined, holding out his arms. Jed gazed at the ceiling as Christopher fussed more and more, winding up to let out a wail.

  Brad had Becky in his arms, her face smeared with peanut butter, still in her pajamas. “Come on, Danny. Let your daddy feed Christopher.”

  One kid started crying, “Where’s Mommy?” Soon, this changed to “I want Mommy!” and Neil knew he had better do something quick.

  “I’m leaving for the hospital. Hey, Danny, bud, I’ll send your mommy home,” Neil said, rubbing the top of Danny’s head and running out the door as Christopher started crying.

  At the hospital, the elevator doors dinged and opened to the second-floor ward. Neil stepped out and took in the nurses and doctors, the visitors walking the halls. He took a deep breath as he started walking. Each step closer did little to comfort him. In fact, the closer he got, the more he dreaded seeing Candy. He had handled all of this badly. He shouldn’t have left Candy—he knew that now. He didn’t know what he wanted, but as he stepped closer to her room and felt the enormous gulf between them, which had been put there by him, he realized there was only so much he could blame on their circumstances.

  He hesitated, giving himself a quick pep talk, before pushing the door open and stopping when three pairs of eyes glared back at him.

  Chapter 30

  When Candy saw Neil open the door to her room, her heart instantly started thudding against her ribcage. Her breath caught, and she didn’t miss how the air had thickened with electricity in the few seconds that Neil had stood watching them. He raised his eyebrows, and Candy noticed how bloodshot his eyes were.

  Diana had been brushing Candy’s long, dark hair, which was damp from the shower she’d just taken. She was so tired from that small effort of walking the hall and standing in the shower that it had taken everything she had to walk back to the room and climb into bed.

  Diana and Emily had stayed all night. The nurse had brought them each a blanket and pillow, and they’d slept upright in those padded chairs. It didn’t look comfortable, and before falling asleep, Candy had asked them to go home. Diana had gone for a few hours to feed her baby and pump some milk, but other than that, they hadn’t left her side.

  Candy was touched by their support and their refusal to desert her. They said she was family, and family stuck with you and had your back, especially when life decided to smack you upside the back of the head. She appreciated that and felt closer to both of these wonderful ladies than she could have ever hoped for.

  Neil took all three of them in with his shrewd gaze, and appeared to pull into himself even more; she noticed how pale he looked, and then started to worry about him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and didn’t move any closer to her, staying by the door. Well, here we go, she thought. With this awkwardness, maybe her knight in shining armor wasn’t so knightly after all. He was human and flawed, and he couldn’t handle her situation, so she said nothing.

  “Good morning, Neil,” Emily said from the chair. The cushion creaked when she slid around to have a better look. “Hmm, you look like crap.”

  Neil looked ready to snarl. “Your husbands want you home,” he said, though he immediately realized that probably wasn’t the best way to start, as the air between him and Emily appeared to snap. “I’m here now, so you two should go before the house falls apart. Brad and Jed are pretty close to losing it, and the kids are asking for you two.”

  Well, that did it. Both women perked up like lionesses protecting their young. “Are the kids okay? What’s going on at home?” Emily asked, sounding a little worried as she slid forward, exchanging a look with Diana.

  “Your husbands are drowning, and they’ll be the first to admit they can’t do it all. They don’t want your job. They love the kids, but they don’t want to play mommy for one more minute. Your kids are done with their daddies. They want you.”

  “Candy, I need to go save my kids,” Emily said. She stood up, dumping the blanket in a heap on the chair. Emily’s face was tired and pale, and her hair was a rumpled mess. She tidied it with her fingers as Diana scooped her jacket up from the chair and shrugged it on.

  “We’ll come back after we get the kids squared away,” she said, patting Candy’s leg and leaning forward to hug her tight. She glanced at Neil. “Will you be okay with him?”

  Diana made her feel so good—Emily, too. She was sure the women would toss Neil out on her say-so. “No, we’re fine,” she said. “Go be with your kids and your husbands. Don’t worry about coming back. Look after your kids first. I’m going to sleep most of the day, anyway.”

  “You call us if you need anything,�
� Emily said.

  The door popped open, and the doctor strode in with Candy’s chart. Diana and Emily slipped out the door with a wave, and Neil allowed his gaze to drift away from Candy to the doctor. The doctor paused and shook his hand.

  “Neil Friessen,” Neil said.

  “Ah, yes, sorry. Candy’s husband, right?” the doctor said as he glanced at the chart, setting it on the sliding table.

  “No, we’re not married,” Candy muttered before Neil could say it. She didn’t think she could listen to him say it without her heart breaking in two.

  Neil firmed his lips, obviously annoyed, but he didn’t look at her. “We were getting married when Candy collapsed, so technically we’re not married.”

  “Ah, I see. Well, I just want to take a look at the incision, see how you’re healing up.” The doctor slid the covers back and lifted her gown. Candy couldn’t look, so she turned her head toward the window, where she didn’t have to look at Neil. She felt the pull of the bandage and the doctor poking around. He hit an especially sore spot, and she let out a hiss.

  “Sore?” he asked. “It looks a little inflamed around the staples. That’s to be expected. I have to say you’re doing remarkably well, considering we had to remove not just both fallopian tubes but your entire uterus.”

  Candy never answered him.

  “Well, I see no reason why we can’t release you tomorrow. Your temperature looks good, and your vitals. We’ll get some more blood work today, and if everything checks out, we can let you go home first thing tomorrow.” The doctor clicked his pen, tucking it into the pocket of his white coat. Candy pulled her gown down and slid the blanket up and over her shoulders, tucking it under her chin. She noticed Neil hadn’t missed her need to hide from him.

  “Thank you, Doctor.” Neil shook the man’s hand again, and the doctor patted Neil’s shoulder as if they were best buds before slipping out of the room.

  Candy looked at the door. Neil didn’t move any closer, pulling the chair that Emily had been sitting on back so that it was about four feet from her bed. There was no way he could touch her. He sat down, set his ankle over his knee, and clasped his hands. She stared at those large hands, remembering all too well how they felt skimming over her bare skin, exploring every part of her. She mourned the loss and swallowed the lump in her throat.

  “Did you sleep well last night?” he asked.

  So they were being polite. “Yes,” she said, flicking her gaze to the awkwardness in his expression. He glanced away. “You didn’t have to come,” she said, waiting for him to respond.

  He let out a mournful laugh that was anything but happy. “Oh, yes, I did. If I didn’t send Emily and Diana home, Brad and Jed were going to string me up.”

  She nodded. The lump in her throat expanded in her chest until it burned. “Well, you can tell them you came. Tell Emily and Diana they don’t have to come back.”

  He nodded and then cleared his throat roughly. “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

  She met the sorrow in his gaze, and she had to look away before she teared up again. “I know,” she said. She squeezed her pillow and then pushed the button to raise the bed as she lay on her side.

  “We should talk about tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll pick you up in the morning when you’re going to be released. You can stay at Emily and Brad’s for a few days until you get the go-ahead to travel. Then I’ll book a flight home.” He rubbed his chin and then gestured with his hand as if arranging a business deal, so unemotional. She just watched him, wondering how it had come to this. She wished he’d go, but, at the same time, she prayed the real Neil would show up and tell her this was all a big joke.

  “I’m kind of tired. You don’t have to stay,” she said. She didn’t look at him, praying that this time he’d get mad and refuse to leave, that he would demand to be there for her. Instead, she heard the chair legs scrape back, and she felt him lean over and hesitate before giving her a peck on the side of her head. It felt cold and dutiful. She squeezed her eyes shut, held her breath, and waited until she knew he was gone. Then it hit her as she replayed what he’d said; her, just her alone, staying at Emily and Brad’s, flying home. Not once had he said “we.” Well, at least she knew without a doubt that this had been his subtle way of saying they were done. He really wasn’t all that different from the average guy out there. He, too, played that game; take the hint and get lost.

  The knowledge certainly didn’t make it hurt any less, but she had her pride. She wouldn’t ask him for anything, and she couldn’t rely on his family. Candy needed to get back on the horse, in a manner of speaking, and take care of things herself. But how? She stared at the telephone beside the bed as a thought came to her.

  She reached for the receiver, closing her eyes for a second as she thought of the number, and then pressed zero, waiting for the hospital operator to come on. “I’d like to make a long-distance call,” she said.

  The operator hesitated and asked her if she had a calling card. Before Candy could say that she didn’t, the operator realized what room she was in and said it was no problem. Candy realized it had to be Neil’s money paying for all this. She rattled off the number, and the operator placed the call.

  It took a minute, and then it rang two, three times before she heard the deep, scratchy voice of an older woman who had been her banker and was someone she thought of as a friend. Stella, a vibrant redhead in her seventies, had a past and a wardrobe any woman would envy.

  “Stella, it’s Candy,” she said.

  There was a hesitation for a second before Stella said, “Well, hello, Missus Friessen! How does it feel, being the wife of the most eligible man in this part of the country?” She let out her trademark laugh, which always put a smile on Candy’s face—but not today.

  “We’re not married,” she said, and she heard a gasp on the other end.

  “Why not? What happened, Candy?” Stella asked, sounding suddenly suspicious.

  “I’m in the hospital. I, uh…” Her throat closed up, and she couldn’t find the words to explain to Stella how wrong things had gone.

  “What? Where’s Neil? Are you okay?” Stella, who never appeared ruffled by anything, sounded frantic on the other end.

  “I was pregnant. It turned out it was ectopic, it ruptured, and they did a hysterectomy. Neil’s gone. It’s over between us.” She squeezed out a tear and then wiped her face, listening to silence on the other end.

  “Oh, Candy, I am so sorry, honey. For you to have to go through something like this isn’t fair. Where’s Neil? I don’t understand how he’s gone. This doesn’t make any sense.”

  “It was too much for him, Stella. He wants children. I can’t give them to him. I wouldn’t have fit into his world anyway. It’s best this way,” she said again, wondering when she’d really believe it. “They’re releasing me from the hospital tomorrow. I don’t have any money, Stella. I didn’t know who else to call. After the storm, I let Neil handle everything. I know my property’s gone, but I was wondering if you knew who bought it and if they’d consider renting it to me.”

  She could hear Stella groaning in the background. Maybe she was trying to find a way to let her down easy. “Candy, honey, yeah… about that. Have you talked to Neil about the property?” Stella asked in an odd way.

  “No, we haven’t talked about it at all. He just told me not to worry about anything, that he’d take care of me,” Candy said, remembering all too well during the storm, and afterward, how protective Neil had been of her. For the first time ever, she had felt cherished. “Look, Stella, I know the answer is probably no, but did you sell my property?”

  “Candy, that was out of my hands. The bank foreclosed. The property was bought.”

  “Was there any money or anything left for me?”

  She sighed on the other end. “Candy, I’m sorry. There was nothing for you. With the back taxes, the mortgage… the investor paid off everything that was owing. There was nothing extra.”

  “I see. Well, would
this investor be willing to rent a piece of it to me?” she said. She couldn’t believe she was asking, since she didn’t have a dime to pay any amount of rent, but she’d work it out when she got home. She’d find a job. She would do anything.

  “Candy, I really think you need to talk to Neil,” Stella said again.

  Why did she keep harping on that? “Neil’s gone, Stella. He made it clear that we’re done, and I’d just as soon not talk to him again. I need to buy a plane ticket home. Would I be able to borrow the airfare? You know I’ll find a way to pay it back.”

  “I’ll buy your ticket. Don’t you worry about paying it back. But listen, Candy. That property of yours has got nothing on it. Even if you rented a piece of it, where would you live, in a tent?” she barked on the other end.

  “Maybe I could talk to the buyer. We could work something out. I could help clear the land. I know it was a mess from the hurricane. I can help sift through and be part of the cleanup. Was it someone local who bought it? Maybe I could talk to them.”

  There was hesitation on the other end, and she could hear Stella tapping a pen on her desk and clicking her tongue. “I didn’t want this to come from me,” she said.

  “What are you talking about, Stella?”

  “Neil.”

  “What about Neil?” she asked again, wondering if she’d suddenly become dimwitted.

  “Candy, Neil is the investor who bought your property. He said he was going to tell you.”

  If someone had sucker punched her in the gut, right where her incision was, it wouldn’t have hurt as much as what Stella had just said. Maybe she had misunderstood—maybe she hadn’t heard right?

  “Stella, are you telling me Neil bought my property?” she asked in a voice that was almost lifeless to her own ears.

  “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t want you to find out this way. I thought Neil would have told you by now.” She paused. “Do you still want a plane ticket home?”

  “Yes,” Candy said.

  Stella said she’d take care of the details and apologized to her again before she hung up. Candy stared at the closed door to her room, and for a minute she wondered whether anyone would notice if she slipped away now. Probably not. She had no family, no money, and no home.