Passion's Sweet Surrender

by Ronica Black

  “Hey, look, honey,” Uncle Tony said. “It’s the beach bum.” He hugged Cam firmly enough to lift her off the ground and continued his teasing. “We heard you live on the beach now. That must be why we never see you anymore.” He set her down and drew back to look at her. “You’re too good for us now. You’re a sand-snob.”

  She could tell by the grin beneath his long white beard and the sparkle of his lively, olive green eyes, that he was in an unusually playful mood, and Cam found herself laughing, his happiness already wearing off on her.

  She needed it too.

  The depressing mood she’d been plagued with had worn out its welcome but had yet to leave.

  “A sand-snob? Is this a new term? Am I supposed to be offended?” She turned to hug Aunt Ginger, careful to mind her straw hat.

  “Don’t listen to him,” Aunt Ginger said, “He’s already had some tequila so he’s feeling himself.” Her embrace was as light as a feather compared to his. But then again, so was her build. Uncle Tony was a big guy, standing over six foot four and weighing over three hundred pounds. He had been a rowdy biker in his younger days and his tattooed arms and intimidating frame were enough to make some people wary. Aunt Ginger, on the other hand, was a slight woman, who stood just short of Cam’s five foot six. She shared Cam’s dark looks and Hispanic roots and people often mistook them as mother and daughter. Some people also made the mistake of assuming that she was, due to her slight build, a timid, passive woman. That, however, couldn’t be further from the truth. And Uncle Tony, despite his intimidating physicality, wore his heart on his sleeve. He even cried over heart-tugging commercials.

  The three of them sat at the round white table and the waitress that had chased the birds took their drink orders and left them to their conversation.

  They were quiet for a moment and Aunt Ginger was smiling at Cam in the way she often did when she was trying to read her. Her close study was interrupted though, when she had to grab hold of her hat to prevent the breeze from carrying it off.

  “Something’s changed,” she said to Cam when the wind died down. “What’s going on?”

  “I have no idea what you mean,” Cam said. It was an evasive response and for her, not at all unusual with most people. But her aunt and uncle weren’t most people. Cam removed her sunglasses to rub her eye.

  “You look like shit,” Uncle Tony let out. “And we haven’t seen you in weeks.”

  “Tony,” Aunt Ginger chided. “What he means, and what I mean, is that we’re a little worried about you. We thought maybe you were just busy and that’s why you’ve been putting off our weekly lunches. But now that you’re here, we can see that it’s obviously something more.”

  “Like what?” Cam asked. She’d never lied to them and she’d never had reason to. But she didn’t want to get into what was going on. Just thinking about discussing it was already causing her stomach to plummet.

  “We don’t know,” Uncle Tony said. “But we got eyes, Cammie. And you don’t look good. You look like you did when you first came down.”

  Though his words could sound harsh, Cam knew they weren’t intended that way. He just happened to be a little rough around the edges and sometimes the love and good intentions he had in that big heart of his came out with a serrated surface, like the filter his words had to pass through to reach his mouth was old and in need of an update because it couldn’t smooth and polish like it should.

  As Cam thought about that and felt the abundant warmth of his familiar sincerity, something unexpected popped into her mind.

  Could Blake be the same way?

  Could she be like Uncle Tony?

  Could she possibly be as loving and well-meaning as he was but just have a fucked-up filter?

  A million things came at her mind then in support of her hypothesis. But she pushed them away. It wasn’t the time or place to think about something that involved. And if the answer to the mystery of Blake was that simple, then how could she have missed it when she’d been loved and protected by someone similar since her childhood?

  “So, you gonna tell us?” Uncle Tony asked.

  “I’ve been a little down,” Cam finally said with a shrug like it was no big deal. She instinctively turned to look at the sea so they wouldn’t see the emotion in her eyes. She put her sunglasses back on, but the protective lenses didn’t feel like enough of a barrier.

  “What’s got you down, Cammie?” Uncle Tony asked, the big teddy bear sensitivity coming out a little more polished this time.

  “You were doing so well lately,” Aunt Ginger said. “Getting out of the house, spending time with your friends. You almost seemed content.”

  Cam had made a lot of friends once she’d finally begun to socialize after her move down. Meeting Tomas and a few others had led her to her interest in renovation, and she’d spent a lot of time remodeling her house with her new friends. Eventually, she’d become skilled enough to help her friends out with their projects. But up until a few months ago, she’d still felt alone. She’d only let people in so far and she’d only spend so much time with them. Most of the time, preferring to hovel up with the dogs and confess her feelings to the whispering sea when she went for walks. But slowly, that, too, had begun to change. She’d been out a lot more, helping more than just her friends, and sometimes, she’d even met up with her friends just to socialize.

  Now, however, she seemed to have taken a hundred steps back. And she couldn’t even bring herself to confide in the sea.

  “I—” She sighed and rested her head in her hand. Then ran her palm over her hair as she tried to find a way around having to share the truth.

  Aw, fuck it.

  Keeping this inside was eating her alive.

  She had to tell them, for her own sanity.

  Surely, they’d understand.

  They’d see that Blake was the root of all her troubles.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Cam took a deep breath and composed herself, hoping to control the tide of emotions that were threatening to come.

  “There’s a woman staying in the house next to me and—”

  “A woman?” Aunt Ginger said. She shook her head quickly. “Sorry, go on.”

  “Her name is Blake and we don’t get along. We—we really don’t get along. We butt heads every time we see each other. Which, up until a few days ago, was pretty frequently because she’s right next door and the women she’s staying with, the actual homeowners, who are a couple, are really nice and we have become friends. This couple, Sloane and McKenna, have been trying to get Blake and me together. And that hasn’t exactly turned out like they’d hoped. All it’s really done is cause a lot of problems between Blake and me.”

  “So you two got together?” Uncle Tony asked, his shock very apparent on his face. “You and Blake? And it didn’t work out?”

  “No, Uncle Tony, no. I don’t have an interest, obviously. You both know the main reason why. But even beyond my grief over Lexi, I don’t have an interest. Nor does Blake. We, upon occasion, have tried to humor Sloane and McKenna, by spending time together and attempting to be civil. But it always ends in disaster.”

  “Can you stop trying to humor your new friends and just stay away?” Aunt Ginger asked.

  “I have,” she said softly, staring off toward the water. “That’s what I’ve been doing.”

  “But Blake’s still bothering you,” Uncle Tony said.

  The waitress brought their drinks along with a large bowl of tortilla chips and three kinds of salsa. Uncle Tony dipped a chip into the salsa verde, crunched a bite, and slid the bowls toward Cam. She waved them away, not even having a desire to drink her beer.

  “She’s not coming around,” Cam said.

  “But you’re still bothered by her,” Uncle Tony said.

  “I don’t know what I’m feeling. I just know it’s not good.”

  “Are you anxious for her to leave?” Aunt Ginger asked.

  Cam let out a laugh. “Well, yeah. That will solve every
thing.”

  “How so?”

  “Because she’d be gone,” Cam said, appalled that she’d even have to explain. Neither of them seemed to get it. “Because then I wouldn’t have to worry about avoiding her or worry about what’s going to happen if we do run into each other.”

  “So, this is something that’s always on your mind, even though you aren’t around her anymore,” her aunt said.

  “Yes.”

  “So, you’re thinking about her a lot.”

  Cam looked at her. “Not in the way you’re implying.”

  “I didn’t imply anything,” she said. “I just stated the obvious.” She squinted at her. “Are you sure her leaving is what you really want?”

  Cam groaned. “Christ, you sound like Sloane and McKenna. Yes, I’m sure.” She banged her fist on the armrest of her chair.

  Uncle Tony chuckled and sipped his salt rimmed margarita. “She must be something,” he said. “To have you so strung out.”

  “I’m not strung out. I’m pissed. I’m angry. She’s said a lot of nasty things.”

  “Like what?” Aunt Ginger asked.

  “Like—telling me that I’m alone because no one can stand to be around me once they get past my looks.”

  “Ohhh,” Uncle Tony said, dipping a chip into the salsa rojo. “So, she thinks you’re hot stuff.”

  Cam shook her head. “That’s not what she meant—”

  “That’s what she said, though, right?” Aunt Ginger asked.

  Cam sat back and sighed. “You’re missing the whole point. And I told you, we do not like each other. I mean, she hates me.”

  “I don’t think she does,” Aunt Ginger said. “And you don’t hate her either.”

  “I don’t like her,” Cam said. “And I want her to leave.”

  Her aunt and uncle exchanged a look. They both smiled.

  “What was that?” Cam pointed from one to the other. “You two aren’t seriously thinking there’s anything going on between this woman and me, are you? Because you’d be dead wrong.”

  “Maybe not physically,” Aunt Ginger said, indulging in a chip. “Not yet, anyway.”

  “I mean at all,” Cam said, feeling her face burn. She had both hands clenched into fists.

  “Okay,” Aunt Ginger said.

  Cam leaned forward, her impatience and frustration now irritation. “Didn’t you hear me? Hear what it was she said to me about why I’m alone?”

  “She doesn’t know about Lexi,” Uncle Tony said. “I’m assuming she doesn’t because you don’t tell anyone anything that personal until you know them very well.”

  “I haven’t told her but that doesn’t matter.”

  “It does, Cammie,” Aunt Ginger said. “She might not’ve said something like that had she known.”

  “How do you know? You don’t know this woman.”

  “No, but it doesn’t sound like you know her very well, either.”

  Cam closed her mouth. “No, and I don’t want to.”

  “You sure about that?”

  “Yes!” She turned away from them. “And I’ve told her so.”

  “So you’ve said some unkind things to her too,” Uncle Tony said.

  Cam directed the glare she had for him out at the sea.

  He chuckled again and the sound of it was like nails on a chalkboard to her.

  “You’re awful upset there, Cammie,” he said. “For someone who doesn’t let shit get to her anymore.”

  “Is she pretty?” Aunt Ginger asked.

  “I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer,” Cam said. “Because it has nothing to do with anything I’m saying.”

  “Then she must be,” Uncle Tony said.

  This time Cam directed her glare at him regardless of the fact that he couldn’t see it through her shades.

  “I’d even go so far as to say that you’re very attracted to her, seeing as how fired up you are. My niece who doesn’t do ‘upset.’”

  “Forget it,” Cam said. If getting up and storming off wouldn’t help prove them correct, she would’ve done it in a heartbeat. But as it was, she sat there and stewed in her anger. “Just forget I said anything.” She grabbed her beer and took two big swallows.

  “All right, Cammie,” Aunt Ginger said, rubbing her shoulder. “We’ll drop it. But we do understand how you suddenly finding yourself attracted to someone must be scary. Lexi was your world. But she’s gone, hon. She’s been gone a while now. You’ve been through enough, punished yourself for something that wasn’t your fault. Don’t continue to do that because you’ve met someone you’re attracted to.”

  Cam swallowed down the painful tears with more beer. She was too close to crying to respond. And even if she’d been able, the fight she’d put up would’ve been weak. She was too exhausted. A prizefighter stepping into the ring to battle after already having gone through ten harrowing rounds with an undefeated opponent.

  “Here,” Uncle Tony said, once again sliding the chips and salsa her way. “Relax. Kick your feet up.” He gave her his best goofy grin.

  “And stay a while?” Cam finally said, trying to sound unimpressed by his attempt at humor. “I’m not hungry.”

  “Well, you better get hungry,” Aunt Ginger said. “Because you’re not leaving here until you eat something.” She slowly shook Cam’s shoulder back and forth. “So you might as well tuck in that pouty lip and enjoy your lunch with us. You know you want to.”

  “Not especially,” Cam said, taking a deep breath that shook in her chest. Her body was clear, the heavy emotion gone. Breathing, though shaky, felt really good again.

  “Everything we’ve said to you today was said in love.”

  Cam laughed. “Then I’d hate to see how you are when you’re mad at me.”

  “If you don’t eat something, you’ll get to see that here real quick.”

  Cam sipped her drink. They did love her. If there was anything left on this planet she was still sure of, it was that. They’d been there for her her entire life. Been the parents her own mother and father refused to be.

  “Okay, fine,” she said. “But you guys are buying. And with that in mind, I suddenly just became very hungry.” She held up her beer. “And very thirsty, too.”

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Blake slipped out the back door quietly and hugged herself against the cool, late night breeze. The sand that swallowed her feet was just as cool, and she thought about going back inside to pull on a thicker sweater. As she came to her favorite stargazing spot however, she stole a glance next door, just as she’d done since the day she’d heard Alejandro’s revelation, and was surprised to actually see Cam’s shadowed form sitting in her patio chair. The woman had been incognito for days.

  Blake gathered her nerves, fearing this might be her one and only chance to talk to her, and walked quietly to her house. She’d just reached the outer edge of the patio when the dogs barked and scrambled down the steps to greet her. She knelt and gave them love but then straightened right away when she saw Cam rise and head for the door.

  “Wait,” she said, hurrying to the bottom of the steps. “Cam, please.”

  Cam stilled but didn’t face her.

  “I would like to talk to you for a minute. It won’t take long, and I promise, if you don’t want me to, I’ll never bother you again.”

  Cam didn’t move and she didn’t respond.

  “Please, Cam. I didn’t come to fight. I don’t want to cause you any more pain.”

  Cam’s rigid posture softened and her hand fell from the doorknob.

  Blake walked up two steps, hopeful.

  “Is it okay if I come up? I won’t sit, I’ll just stay here by the steps.”

  Cam finally turned and Blake tried not to gasp at the drawn, gaunt look of her face. Blake wanted to believe that it was just the shadows playing tricks, that the light filtering out from inside the house wasn’t adequate enough to see her clearly on the unlit patio. But Blake worried that what she was seeing was reality and t
hat Cam truly did look like she was lost and defeated.

  Blake cleared the last step, yearning to cross to her to take her in her arms and hold her until all the regret and apologies she had inside passed through to Cam, filling her with some sort of peace and comfort. She couldn’t take that risk though, too afraid that Cam would run again. So, she remained where she was, tentative, like she was approaching an injured bird who had no idea she only wanted to help.

  “I wanted to apologize,” Blake said. “I’ve said some really hurtful things to you. Things I never should’ve said and had no right to say.” She hugged herself again as she shuddered from the breeze. She felt as fragile as Cam looked, and when the wind penetrated again she felt as if her bones might snap. “I know I’ve hurt you, Cam, and I’m so sorry.” She couldn’t tell her that she’d heard her sobbing uncontrollably, and that she knew about the accident and the tragic loss of her wife. She could only tell her how sorry she was and try, probably for the rest of her life, not to think about the awful things she’d said to her about her being alone. Things that she’d never forgive herself for, regardless if Cam ever did or not.

  “You’re cold,” Cam said.

  Blake shook again, surprised she’d said anything at all. “It’s a little cooler tonight than I’d anticipated.” Bo came to her and she actually debated whether or not to remove her hand from the warm place beneath her arm to pet him. But she couldn’t resist his sweet face and the other two then came wanting her affection. She grew a little sad as she realized that this might be the last time she’d ever see them. And when she looked back to Cam, that sadness rose to nip at her throat, as she thought the same about her.

  “How are you doing? Are you feeling okay?” Blake asked. The physician in her wanted to know because of the way she looked, but she knew it was her heart that had really spurred the questions.

  “I’ll be all right,” she said.

  “If you need anything—I’m—don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll be around for another couple of weeks or so. I’ve decided—I’m going to stay a while longer.” She and Sloane were looking further into buying Javier’s building. She hoped Cam wouldn’t be unsettled by her decision to stay. If she was, she wasn’t showing it.