Lost To The Bear (BBW Bear Shifter Romance)

by Ariana Hawkes

  “Yes, hun. I’m just quietly reeling in shock. And wondering if one of my closest friends is a masochist.”

  “No, you’ve got it all wrong. I’m just saving myself pain in the long run.” Kristin was quiet for a moment, as she negotiated her way through a busy intersection. “So, will he be able to figure out where I live now?”

  “Most likely,” Lauren replied. “Shifters have the full faculties of their animal, even when they’re in human form. I don’t know much about tigers specifically, but I’ll be surprised if they don’t have a pretty amazing sense of smell.”

  “So he could catch onto my smell if I was out walking in the neighborhood, right?”

  “Girl, to a shifter, the entire street is probably full of your scent. He’s probably inhaling it from the comfort of his armchair right now.”

  “Ooh, that’s freaky,” Kristin said, unconsciously taking a quick sniff of her armpit. Lauren cackled.

  “Hey! I can hear you sniffing your underarms, you know?” she yelled.

  “I so wasn’t,” Kristin muttered, her cheeks warming.

  “It’s not like that. It’s like they find your scent totally irresistible. Isn’t that kind of sexy?”

  “I guess it is. But, seriously, what do I do if he turns up on my doorstep?”

  “Let him in. Into your bedroom, of course!” Lauren said, and let out a gale of laughter. “Ok, I’ve gotta go now, chica, but I’ll call you tomorrow, and hopefully you’ll have something new to tell me about this sexy guy. Grrr!”

  Kristin hit ‘end’, smirking to herself. Lauren was always so much fun to talk to. She sighed. And she was known for giving great advice. She also had to admit that the thought that her scent had infiltrated the entire street, and that the tiger might be picking it up and following it was actually as sexy as hell. She imagined herself as a sexy, fertile animal, being hunted down by a potential mate and that tell-tale tingle hit her between her thighs again. She pressed them together, but it only made things worse. She hadn’t had sex for a long time, and she missed it badly. She yearned to be taken roughly, to be fucked for days on end, until she was completely sated and worn out. She wanted to be possessed, her body covered in the marks of her lover. Dina and Lauren said that shifters made great lovers, because they were so connected with their animal side. The thought of making love with a tiger, beautiful and fierce and dangerous, turned her insides to mush. She realized that she’d been muttering a line from something: “Tiger, tiger, burning bright, in the forests of the night…” What was that? A song? No, a poem. She’d studied it at high school. It was about the incredible beauty and power of opposing forces in nature. It had been her favorite poem for so long. She’d even written it out in calligraphy, and pinned it on her bedroom wall. When she used to recite it, she’d get shivers down her spine. Is that what it would be like to mate with a tiger? To come face-to-face with an unstoppable force of nature, and to absorb that force into your body? She kind of liked that idea.

  During the basketball game, Kristin played particularly energetically, taking the team to an impressive win against their long-time rivals. While taller than the average girl, she was actually a little undersized for a basketball player, with some girls in the team a good three or four inches taller than her. Consequently, she’d learned to play aggressively to make up for it, and was one of the best at sinking hoops.

  After they’d showered and got ready, the girls went out for their regular dinner and drinks session. The only time that Kristin really enjoyed eating was after strenuous exercise, and she always tucked into her post-game dinner with no guilt. They ate at a steak and burger place, then went on to a bar for beers. On the way, Kristin checked her phone. She’d promised herself that she’d stay off Shiftr for the rest of the evening, in case she made a drunken mistake she’d regret the next day. But there was a message from the company in her regular email inbox, with the subject line ‘Congratulations!’ followed by three red balloons. Intrigued, she tapped on it. It said:

  Hi there, fellow curvy goddess!

  The team here at Shiftr are writing to congratulate you on your incredible 100% match with one of the shifters on the app!! We get so few of these that we receive an alert whenever two of our members are 100% compatible. We don’t have access to your messages, of course ;) but we can see that you’ve already been swapping scents with your match – and what a deliciously sexy tiger he is! Grrr!

  Wishing you great success in getting together with your perfect mate, and please keep us updated on how things go!

  Excited to hear from you!

  Love and licks,

  Tamika xoxox

  Kristin smiled at the message. The girls had told her how sweet and generous the creator of the app was, and how she was invested in everyone’s happiness. But her amusement quickly turned to guilt. Tamika had these high expectations for her, and she wasn’t going to fulfill them. She never would’ve shown up as the tiger’s perfect match if the app had known everything about her. The line from the tiger’s profile echoed in her mind: “no kids yet, but planning on having a big family some day,” and her stomach twisted in pain. She could never say write that line in her own profile. She’d even left the family section of the app blank.

  After reading the message, Kristin put her phone on silent, and proceeded to get very drunk. Her team would never have guessed she wasn’t happy, as she was always the life and soul of the party during nights out, always cracking jokes, instigating drinking games, and encouraging her teammates to flirt with guys.

  On Sunday morning, Kristin woke up to her second hangover in two days. She groaned and pushed her face into the pillow.

  “Being taunted with insanely hot men that I can’t have is not good for me,” she muttered to herself. She reached out for a glass of water, but, as usual, she hadn’t remembered to put one on her nightstand before she passed out last night. She’d get up in a moment and go to the kitchen, but first she needed to prepare herself for becoming vertical. She turned onto her back and cautiously pulled herself up on her pillows. That wasn’t so bad. The room wasn’t spinning at least. What time is it anyway? She reached for her phone. Holy crap! It’s 11.45. She’d wasted the whole morning sleeping, again. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy going out and getting loaded with the team. It was just that she’d been doing it for a long time now, and she was well aware that it was a substitute for what she really wanted: to wake up with her true love, and snuggle for an hour or two, before going out and enjoying the day together.

  Kristin flicked through her text and email messages.

  “What the hell?” she exclaimed, pausing on an email. Apparently I messaged Tamika last night, asking – no, actually – demanding – to meet her. And we’re going for coffee in, uh, two hours and five minutes. She closed her eyes. “What on earth was I thinking?” she whispered. She’d just cancel and say she was sick. That was a good plan.

  But then the image of Lauren popped up in her head. Lauren was so sure that she’d find someone, and she put so much effort into making her friends happy. She shouldn’t just give up like this. It wouldn’t hurt to speak to Tamika at least. She hauled herself out of bed, took a scalding-hot shower, and had fruit with low-fat yogurt, and a kale and orange smoothie for breakfast, and she started to feel a little more human.

  Kristin was meeting Tamika at her place downtown. As she pulled out of her driveway, she hesitated. The most direct route involved turning left down the road, but there was no way she was going to drive past the tiger’s place and give him another opportunity to pick up her scent. Instead, she turned right and wound up going on a huge detour to reach downtown. Against her will, thoughts of the tiger returned in full force. Would he be a rough lover? Would he take her mercilessly? Outdoors? She’d always had a thing for sex in nature. She imagined him taking her on a blanket in a secluded spot in a forest, as her nails dug into his back. Or against a tree, its rough bark pressing against her bare breasts.

  Wow, if I don’t wash my min
d out right now, I’ll have to sort myself out in Tamika’s bathroom as soon as I arrive! she told herself, trying to think about really boring things instead – like all the bills she needed to pay, or how she was going to fill up page five of tomorrow’s paper.

  Kristin’s jaw dropped as she pulled up in front of Tamika’s house. It was in an exclusive area of town. The house was all white, with huge iron gates in front of it. As Kristin started to get out of the car to press the intercom, the gates slid open. She drove through, parked, and walked up to the house. She pressed the doorbell, and the door opened immediately, to reveal a tall, very attractive woman with long, caramel-brown hair.

  “Kristin!” she exclaimed, enveloping her in a hug. She smelled of expensive perfume. “I’m so glad you made it!”

  “Thanks for inviting me, Tamika,” Kristin replied, taking in Tamika’s effortlessly chic style. She was wearing a floral maxi dress with a gold band at the hem, and matching gold sandals.

  Tamika led her up a curved, marble staircase to the second story of the house, and out onto a large balcony.

  “Sorry for making you come to my place, darling. I’m just so busy going through all the new applications for Shiftr,” she said in a powerful voice, with a strong English accent.

  “No, it’s a pleasure. Truly,” Kristin replied, looking around. The house was impeccably decorated in a European style – all cool marble, high ceilings and wooden shutters, and the balcony looked down on a beautiful garden, full of fruit trees and roses. They sat down at a small, round table, and a man appeared at Tamika’s elbow. He had reddish-brown hair and a slim, foxy face, with a lively, inquisitive expression in his eyes.

  “What can I get you, ladies?” he asked. Tamika turned to Kristin.

  “I know I invited you for coffee,” she said. “But I’m simply dying for a Bloody Mary. To be honest, I’m a little hungover, and I think the only thing that’ll fix me is the hair of the dog that bit me, as they say.” She gave a loud, braying laugh. “How about you, honeybun?” Kristin shrugged.

  “Sure,” she said. “I’ve got a hangover of my own to fix, so why not?”

  “That’s the spirit,” Tamika said, slapping her on the knee, hard enough to make her jump. “Tell me, how do you like your Bloody Mary – nice and spicy? With celery salt?” Kristin nodded helplessly.

  “Can you do your special mix please, Dixon? With lashings of horseradish!” Tamika trilled.

  “Of course,” the waiter replied, with a wink. Kristin stared at his retreating back. Tamika evidently had some serious money.

  “I was thinking of ordering an English breakfast – just the thing to cure any lingering queasiness. Would you like one too?”

  “Uh, what’s in it?” Kristin asked.

  “Bacon, sausages, blood pudding, eggs, baked beans, mushrooms, broiled tomato and brown sauce,” Tamika said proudly. Wow. It sounded disgusting, as well as seriously calorific, but Kristin didn’t want to offend this kind, eccentric woman.

  “Sounds great,” she said.

  The Bloody Mary was delicious, and at the first sip, Kristin did – to her amazement – feel quite a lot better.

  “You’re very beautiful, dear,” Tamika said, looking at Kristin with pleasure. “I was so glad when Lauren brought Dina to me. And now you’re here too! Our shifters are very lucky indeed. Now, how can I help you? You were saying that you had a problem with your requirements?” Kristin nodded and took a deep breath.

  “I love the thought of being with a shifter,” she said. “I mean, at first, I thought it was pretty out there, but now I know that my best friends are with bears, I think it’s really cool. But the problem is that they all want kids. Including the guy who’s supposed to be my 100% match.” Tamika nodded encouragingly. “And the problem is that I have PCOS, so the chance that I can give them what they want is pretty small.”

  Just then, the food arrived. It actually smelled amazing, and Kristin’s tummy rumbled. She’d probably have to double the miles on her walk this afternoon to make up for it, but right now, she didn’t care. They started eating ravenously.

  “But, darling, a lot of us curvy girls have PCOS, you know? It’s very common. I have it myself, and I’ve got a couple of pups of my own. Of course, I’d spent my twenties freaking out that I wouldn’t be able to have kids as well, but in the end, I had no trouble conceiving. In fact, I don’t mind telling you that Kyle got me pregnant the first time we ever mated!” Tamika finished in a whisper.

  “Really?” Kristin said, eyes brightening. “I mean, I know it’s not impossible, so I could be worrying about nothing. But, I just hate the idea of a guy being tied to me, and then me being unable to have children.”

  “There’s always adoption, or fostering. Both from the shifter world, and the human world. But I’m sure it won’t be a problem for you to get pregnant. Shifters are very sexual, so you’ll have plenty of opportunities to try,” Tamika said, with a mischievous grin.

  “Dixon’s adopted,” Tamika said in a low voice. “His father – a fox shifter – was shot by hunters when he was a baby. His mother was human, and couldn’t cope with taking care of a shifter baby by herself, so she gave him up for adoption to a lovely human-shifter couple, who already had two cubs of their own, and just fell in love with him when they heard about his situation. I’ve known him for years. He’s working as my assistant this summer before he goes off to college.” Kristin smiled faintly. She was open to the idea of adopting, but she also wanted to have her own child, growing inside her. In the last couple of years, the need had become almost unbearable.

  “So how’s it going with the sexy tiger?” Tamika asked, breaking into her thoughts.

  “Oh. It’s not,” Kristin said, staring into the dregs of her Bloody Mary. “He looks so amazing, but he definitely wants kids. It’s such a torture for me. I couldn’t stand the thought of falling for him, and then finding out that I can’t be a mother to his children. I actually right-swiped him, so I don’t have to see him anymore. But, would you believe that he lives on my street?” Tamika laughed.

  “Yes, darling, I would. We created the proximity locator, remember?”

  “Uh, good point,” Kristin said, rolling her eyes at her own naivety.

  “You might just have a hard time avoiding him if he’s your neighbor.”

  “Oh, it’s worse than that. I was messing around with the locator, and I got close enough to him that he scented me.” Tamika’s eyes got very big.

  “And has he messaged you since?”

  “Yup. He said something about not being able to leave me alone now that he knows my scent.” Tamika’s pretty face lit up with delight at Kristin’s words. “What? What is it?” Kristin said.

  “Oh, nothing,” Tamika replied, her expression turning mischievous again. “These shifters are very tenacious, you know? Once they scent their mate, it’s hard to stop them in their tracks.”

  “I am not his mate,” Kristin said, anger beginning to rise up inside her. “He’s got no right to think I’ve got any association with him at all!”

  “If that’s the case, and you’re absolutely sure, you might have to meet up with him and tell him straight. Otherwise, who knows how long he might pursue you?”

  “You’re right!” Kristin said forcefully. “I’ll meet up with him – go to a café, or some other neutral place, and tell him straight up: he’s not the guy for me.”

  “Ok,” Tamika said, nodding.

  “I’m sorry,” Kristin said, suddenly realizing that she’d ruined Tamika’s celebrations. “I didn’t mean to put a damper on things. I know you were all excited about the 100% match.”

  “It’s fine,” Tamika said lightly. “There’ll be another fully compatible pair out there someday, for sure.”

  “I mean, I’m not saying the app didn’t do a good job of identifying us as compatible. I just didn’t mention my issues with having kids on my profile, so that wasn’t included in the mix,” Kristin said, desperate not to offend her.

 
“It’s ok, dear, really.” Tamika squeezed her hand. “All I care about is that my girls and shifters end up happy and with their destined mate.”

  After they’d finished eating and drunk a strong coffee each, Kristin excused herself, sensing that Tamika had things to do. She also needed to go home and finish up an article for tomorrow’s paper. As they said goodbye, Tamika hugged her fiercely.

  “Be happy. I’m not worried about you, Kristin,” she said. Kristin stared at her curiously. There was more in her eyes than she was saying. As she turned to go, Tamika called her back. “Can you please watch out for Melissa though? I don’t think she and Timo are compatible, and the faster she realizes that, the faster we can hook her up with the right shifter.”

  “Sure thing,” Kristin replied, with a wave.

  4

  Kristin’s head was full of thoughts as she drove back home. Tamika was one of the most intriguing women she’d ever met. She sensed that a big brain was working away behind her cool, mannered English façade. If the Shiftr app hadn’t been a secret, she’d definitely have asked to interview her for the paper. But why had Tamika looked so happy that the tiger had already scented her, and then been so accepting of the fact that she was going to tell him she wasn’t interested? It was all so confusing. How was she going to contact the tiger anyway, since she’d deleted him from the app? She knew which building he lived in, but not the number of the apartment. He’ll probably track me down anyway, she realized. And then I’ll tell him how it is. She drove on a big loop again, to avoid the tiger’s place.

  When Kristin got indoors, she took the app out, and spent a pleasant half hour staring at the eye candy of the many guys who wanted to find out if they were her match. The trouble was, they nearly all said that they wanted a family some day. She looked through her personal settings, but there was no way of searching by guys who said they weren’t interested in having a family, or who left the family section blank. The wolf had messaged her, but she intentionally left his message until last. When she finally clicked on it, her heartbeat sped up a little. It said: