Back to Blue

by Dillon Watson

  “Considering the evening you had, it’s a wonder you remember your name. If I’m not upset, then you don’t get to be upset. And after you buy me the world, I won’t be,” she added with a sly smile, then brushed her teeth.

  Summer seemed to stew a minute. “But that means you’re upset now. If you’re upset, then by your rules, I get to be upset.”

  Renny rinsed her mouth. “How can I possibly be upset knowing you’re going to buy me the world?” She sluiced water over her face. “Can’t.” She grabbed a towel and wiped her face. “Set and match.”

  “That makes no sense.”

  “And therein lies the beauty.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense either. I don’t suppose you want to come with us, run interference?”

  “I’d love to meet your mom, but not like this. I’d better hurry before she comes back.”

  “Okay, but you’re going to miss the reward she’s picking up now that she’s stopped laughing.”

  “Like I need pastries after the dinner I devoured last night.”

  “Pastries? I’m talking about the gold plaque for going out with her daughter.”

  Renny laughed. “Good one, but I already got my reward.” She struggled into her clothes, thinking this was the wildest date ever. And she didn’t have to suffer through a hangover.

  “So I’ll see you tomorrow at Keile’s,” Summer said as she trailed Renny to the living room.

  “I’ll probably take Chazz to the park, say around ten, if someone wanted to meet me there.” Her heart did a little flip when Summer’s face lit up.

  “Someone would love to meet you there.”

  “Good.” Renny slipped on her coat and pulled Summer close for a kiss. “Tomorrow.”

  On the elevator, Renny ignored the knowing looks. After all, she did look like she was going home after a sleepover. Next time they’d go to her place, then Summer could be the object of amusement.

  * * *

  “She’s gone?” Sandra asked as she hung up her coat. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to scare her off. I should have called first.” She picked up the bag of pastries and the cardboard container with three cups of coffee.

  “Don’t worry. Your arrival was a fitting end to a disastrous date. I can’t believe she actually wants to see me again. Crazy, huh?”

  “Not from where I’m standing.” Sandra deposited the bag and the coffee on the dining room table and pulled out a chair. “I told myself I wasn’t going to pry. That you’re a big girl now and I should wait until you felt like sharing.” She took a sip of coffee. “But the hell with that. Who is she?”

  “Tell you later.” She sat next to her mom and brought one of her mom’s hands to her cheek. “I remember Cyn.” Then, taking a deep breath, she added, “And most of the accident.”

  “Oh, Summer.” Tears beaded in Sandra’s eyes. “I wish you could remember one without the other.”

  “Me too.” She had already decided no one else except Dr. Veraat needed to know the circumstances surrounding the accident. Cyn had already received her punishment. Telling her family would only hurt them. “It’s not as bad as it could be. I remember the noise from the collision, screaming, then pretty much nothing else. But get this. I also remembered my seventh birthday. Sitting at the picnic table in the backyard, blowing out the candles, and the stack of presents. Would it be okay if instead of going shopping we went home? I want to see the house again now that I have my own memories of it.”

  “Of course.” Sandra dabbed at her eyes with a napkin. “Your dad will be so happy. He doesn’t show it, but he’s been worried about you, about what’s happening. We all have.”

  “You all can stop. Especially you. You’ve done way more than your fair share.”

  “My prerogative.” Sandra opened the bag, pulled out a cinnamon twist, broke it in half and thrust one half at Summer. “I’ll always worry about my kids. Wait until you have some of your own.”

  “That’s not going to happen.”

  “There’s plenty of time for you to find the perfect woman, make a withdrawal from a sperm bank and give me grandkids.”

  She thought about Cyn, about the betrayal, and wondered if she’d have been open to a relationship with Renny if she’d gotten her memory back before they met. Maybe she would have eventually learned to trust again. As an adult, not as the girl she’d been when she and Cyn met.

  “No comment?”

  She took a healthy bite of the pastry and settled for a noncommittal shrug. To please her mother, she finished the rest of the twist. “Shall we go? I’m eager to see the place, explore old haunts. Knock more memories loose.”

  Once they were on the road, Summer shared bits and pieces of her evening, including the name of her date.

  “You’ll be in her book for sure now.”

  “Mom!”

  “Just saying…” Sandra laughed.

  “If I was a writer she’d be in my book. You should have seen the way she took on Rich.”

  “Rich?”

  Summer smothered a groan. She hadn’t meant to bring that up.

  “Well?”

  She gave her the bare minimum, downplaying her reaction.

  “That poor boy.” Sandra pursed her lips, cocked her head to the side. “I haven’t thought about that in forever. As I recall, they lived in that little house off of Winslow. Kind of set back in the woods. The mother seemed nice, but she never had much to say about herself or anything, for that matter. If I remember correctly the boy was a few years younger than you and close to seven or eight when it happened. He went into the system after that. I don’t remember hearing anything about him.”

  “What happened to the father?”

  “Once they found him, they threw his sorry butt into jail.”

  “Would he still be there now?”

  “I have no idea. I think I remember they moved the trial out of the county, further south. After that, the story died down. Most likely he served his time for manslaughter and moved. Why the interest?”

  “Just curious,” Summer said, but she made a note to do some research. There had to be a reason he was on Rich’s mind lately. “For Rich’s sake, I hope he never has to see that man again. It has to be hard knowing someone you thought you knew, thought you could trust, could be that cruel.”

  “Are we still talking about Rich?”

  “Of course. Who else would I be talking about? You know I’m surprised you haven’t made more comments about the identity of my date.”

  “I thought I caused you enough embarrassment for one day. I have to admit I am impressed by your choice. So, you had the Renny Jamison in your bed? Will it be in the tabloids?”

  Summer rolled her eyes. Her mother was getting too much enjoyment out of this. “No. And the bed part was only a technicality.” A technicality only because her mother showed up, but that was strictly need to know. “I told you she only stayed because of the upset about Cyn.”

  “So you don’t know her in the Biblical sense?”

  “Mom!” Despite the teasing in her mother’s voice, her cheeks burned. “Don’t ask, I won’t tell.”

  Sandra laughed and turned on the radio. Classic rock poured forth from the surround sound speakers. “Never believed in that. Check the Constitution. It’s a mother’s right—no, duty—to ask.”

  “And right under that in fine print you’ll find that it’s a child’s right to change the subject in this type of situation,” Summer said primly. “I forgot to tell you—I bought drawing pencils this week. You were right. My ability to draw is not linked to anyone but me.”

  “Excellent change of subject. One you knew would make me swallow the bait.” Sandra shot her daughter a quick sideways glance. “Which is why I won’t question why your cheeks are so red on a mere technicality.” She cleared her throat. “Tell me. What brought this on?”

  “More like who. Your fault really. Marcia made disparaging remarks about you.”

  “Bitch.”

  Summer laugh
ed. “Exactly. What could I do but put her likeness on paper.”

  “I can see why you would have needed color pencils to do justice to the makeup.” Sandra nodded her head. “Makes me proud. You took the high road. Still taking the high road.”

  Summer barely heard. Her breath quickened as her mother made a right and drove up the long driveway. They crested the hill and the sprawling three-story house came in to view. She knew this house, not from the year and a half it had been her sanctuary. No, she knew it from roaming its halls with her siblings, searching every nook and cranny for hidden treasure. From growing up with the love and security that had given her freedom to explore, to expect to find something different and great. Her parents had done that for her, for her brother and sisters.

  The house was located twenty miles outside of town on ten acres. The property had been a working farm before her parents bought it and added on sections. Sandra kept the large garden, but most of the fields had been left alone to revert to grassland. There were other houses in the area, most on five-acre lots and most owned by people who wanted the semi-rural life.

  When the Bug came to a stop, she sat for a moment, taking in the mature trees surrounding the house. They were bare now, but in a few weeks the buds would form and from there bloom to keep the house cool in the summer. She’d once earned a trip to a timeout for taking a dare and climbing one of the trees until her sister said “Stop!” Looking down and realizing how high she was, she had started crying, too scared to climb back down.

  “I remember it.” She turned to her mother. “There’s no place like home.” That thought brought back another memory. “Oh God, I was thinking, no, I was seriously considering moving back here from New York. Not here with you and Dad, but definitely to the South.” She put her hands to her head and squeezed. Other fights with Cyn also came back—the screaming, the shouting, the threats, all ending in betrayal. Summer opened the door and got out of the car, but she couldn’t leave the ugliness behind.

  Taking in the scent of home, she stared at the house and willed thoughts of Cyn, of New York away. She was here for other memories. Like the time they used duct tape to attach Jonah to a wall or sleeping out in the backyard, pretending to be settlers heading for the Western frontier. Cyn had never been in this house. There was nothing of her here.

  Sandra slipped an arm around Summer’s waist. “However you got here, I’m glad to have you close by now. I would have preferred the other way.”

  Summer leaned into her mom, dropped a kiss on her soft cheek. “Come on. Let’s surprise Dad. Maybe break out the croquet set he gave me for my tenth birthday.”

  “Oh, you remembered.” Sandra beamed even as tears beaded in her eyes. “He’ll be so pleased.”

  “Not when he hears I’ve already called blue.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Summer awakened before daylight the next morning. There was no gasping for breath, no lingering unease from bad dreams. She sat up, stretched and did a mental scan of body and mind. She felt good. No, she felt great. Spending a day playing with her parents had been a good thing. Getting back huge chunks of her memory had been an even better thing. She’d thought about spending the night with them and in the end decided to come back to her new home. Decided that despite all the things that were going on, she didn’t need the crutch of her childhood bedroom anymore.

  Splashing her face with cold water, she changed into workout clothes and hit her treadmill. As her shoes slapped against the rubber pad, she continued her self-assessment. Having the memories made her feel solid, on firmer ground. More like a real person. Not the Summer she’d been before the accident—maybe she’d never be that Summer again—but also not the Summer she’d been yesterday morning.

  As she picked up her speed, she thought not being the old Summer was probably a good thing. She could start new, somewhat fresh and without the weight of dealing with Cyn. Looking back, it was clear to her how much effort she’d put into the relationship with little return. The constant ups and downs, the arguments she never saw coming had slowly worn her down to the point where getting out and moving back home seemed the only way to survive. She’d wanted, needed to be closer to her family and the steadiness they’d given her throughout her life.

  She never got a chance to share her plans with Cyn. They’d had that horrible fight over Cyn’s infidelity and then… She exhaled. But somehow, she thought Cyn had known. Had probably sensed her withdrawal, her losing herself in her art. Her unwillingness to fix everything by shouldering the blame.

  Whether Cyn knew or not, she wasn’t going to take any of the blame for Cyn’s behavior. Nothing she’d done had driven Cyn to break their vows. Nothing she’d done had caused that last desperate attempt to keep her chained to Cyn. None of it was her fault. None of it.

  Her breathing ragged, Summer slowed her pace and attempted to get a grip on her emotions. She hadn’t realized how angry she was—at Cyn, at herself. She should have faced the issue with Cyn years ago. So what if she’d been young when they first got together? Hadn’t she figured out over the years that their relationship wasn’t what it was supposed to be? Was nothing like the one her parents had? But she’d stuck it out, managing to convince herself time and time again that Cyn would change. That Cyn would get over her jealousy at Summer’s growing acclaim in the art world. That the upswings and downswings weren’t getting worse.

  “Boy, was I wrong.” Time to admit her failings and put them away. Hopefully, even learn something from it. Learn that she couldn’t help someone by absolving her of all responsibility. That’s essentially what she’d allowed Cyn to do. No, she decided with a wince, she’d enabled that. Enabling had to be worse.

  “History,” she muttered. “Do not repeat.” She lowered the speed on the treadmill for a cool-down walk. Enough with the thinking. Time for doing. She’d hit the shower and fuel up, then find something to occupy her time until it was time to go to the park. Time to see Renny and pray there were no more mishaps. No mind hopping, no remembering dark events and no interruption by mothers. Just her and Renny and Chazz.

  * * *

  By nine thirty Renny couldn’t stand it anymore. She sent Chazz for his leash and pulled on a thick hoodie. If she took the long way and encouraged Chazz to dawdle they would only be fifteen minutes early.

  Outside she breathed in the crisp morning air, looking for and finding the first signs of spring—the offshoot of buds on tree limbs. She loved this time of year when everything began waking up from winter’s slumber. Not a bad way to think of her romance with Summer, she thought. They were both waking up from a period of slumber, thickening the branches of their lives by being willing to give the relationship a chance.

  She looked at her hands, imagined buds sprouting on them and laughed, drawing Chazz’s attention. “It’s nothing you would understand,” she told him, rubbing behind his left ear before continuing forward.

  The playground was getting a workout, she noted, enjoying the shrieks and cries that signaled kids having fun. It was easier to think of them having fun than it was to think about the images Summer carried around in her head. And, knowing Summer, in her heart.

  Chazz pulled on his leash, obviously eager to get to his playmates.

  “Slave driver,” Renny grumbled as she let him increase their pace. Then it was she, and her heartbeat, who sped up when she spotted Summer leaning against the fence surrounding the dog park.

  Looking well rested, Summer’s face lit up with a smile. “Hey, you.” She gave Renny a quick hug, then Chazz a two-handed rub.

  “Shopping with your mom looks good on you.” Renny opened the gate and set Chazz free. “You should do it more often.” She shielded her eyes from the sun and watched as Chazz raced up and down the field at full speed.

  “We skipped shopping. I spent most of the day at my parents’ place instead. It was great. Beat my dad at croquet.”

  Seeing the carefree smile on Summer’s face, Renny almost wished she’d been there to see it. “C
roquet? I didn’t think anyone still played that.”

  “We haven’t in a long time. My dad gave me the set when I was ten and the two of us used to play most weekends, weather permitting. We always fought over who got the blue ball. He always won the coin toss till I wised up to his use of a two-headed coin.”

  Renny thought of the father she barely knew and couldn’t imagine him unbending enough to try to sneak one by her. “Sounds like an interesting guy. Why blue?”

  “It’s our favorite color. For me and Dad ‘having the blues’ is a good thing.”

  “Interesting way to look at it. The two of you are close, I guess?”

  “He got tears in his eyes when Mom told him I’d already called dibs for croquet. Then he tried to squeeze the life out of me all the while claiming my dibs wasn’t valid.”

  “That’s close,” Renny declared. “I can be happy for you and envy that closeness at the same time.”

  “I’m lucky. I know that now and I hope I never forget again. Will you look at that?” Summer laughed and pointed to where Chazz stood patiently as his leg was being humped by an overweight Chihuahua. “He really is sweet.”

  “That’s my baby.” As they watched, Chazz shook off the Chihuahua and returned to playing tag with an Irish setter. “Have you had breakfast?”

  “Cream of Wheat. Breakfast of champions.” Summer flexed her arms. “But it was hours ago. I was up early.”

  “Nightmares?”

  “Not a one. Best sleep I’ve had in forever. I conked out early because I spent most of the day trying to keep up with my dad. He insisted we go to the arcade like we used to do, then practically made me play every game.”

  “I’ve got to meet this guy. So not only does he have a two-sided coin, he’s a gamer?”

  Summer grinned. “From way back. He designs video games. Mom claims she married him because she knew he was never going to grow up.”

  “Why did he marry her?”