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The life you choose doesn’t have to be just one thing. . . . And that is okay.
* * *
Something I want to stress is that the life you choose doesn’t have to be just one thing. You could go to college for teaching and think that you’re going to be a teacher for the rest of your life, but then after ten years of doing it, you decide you want to move to Thailand and be a fisherman. And that is okay. If you want to run away and catch fish, go catch fish! There isn’t some set-in-stone handbook on what your various life steps have to be. You are a human who is constantly changing, not a robot who was built to complete one task over and over again.
Just start with how you feel now. Read up on different careers and life paths, and see what feels right. Try stuff out, fail a couple times, learn some lessons, and find yourself.
Amy
Life happens. You have two choices: you can let it happen to you, or you can plan and take your future by the hand. Things come at you fast. All of a sudden you’re a teenager and forced to decide on what you are gonna do for the rest of your life. People tell you, “You’re too young to think about that,” then, in the blink of an eye, they’re like, “Why haven’t you been planning your entire future?!” It can be very stressful.
We are born into this world having a place somewhere. We all have amazing gifts and talents—we just have to figure out how to use them the best we can. Don’t think that if you love something and it isn’t glamorous, you should give it up. If you have a passion for working with children, there are so many ways to do that. If numbers are your thing, there are countless things you can do with them. When you find what you think you’d like to do, you should talk to people who work in that field and try out internships. That’s one way to figure out all the different career options and what you actually connect with. There are so many jobs out there. The possibilities are infinite!
Lisa
“Believe in yourself so much it makes other people believe in you.” This is one of my favorite sayings and has driven me to jump into some amazing projects that I was previously unsure if I could handle. Now that I’m releasing my own music in addition to the music I’ve always worked on with my sisters, I am learning just how much work it takes to make things happen on your own. I have so many stories and visions I want to share with the world, and sometimes I question if I can really make it all happen, but I know that nobody else is going to do it for me. I have to just jump in and try. Don’t be scared to spread your wings! If small-minded people are scared by your big dreams, stop sharing them around that crowd, but keep believing in them. Somebody is gonna do the thing you’re dreaming about. Somebody is going to pull it off. Someone is gonna see it all through. Why shouldn’t it be you?
* * *
Believe in yourself so much it makes other people believe in you. Don’t be scared to spread your wings!
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SUPPORT
Getting to know yourself is one of the best ways to start preparing for your future. But you’re also going to need help. You can’t do it alone. You’re going to need a support system. While every person’s path is unique, the world is full of people with valuable experience and wisdom that you can use. Seek them out, ask them questions, read, explore, and keep an open mind. You just might find some advice or direction that changes your life.
Lisa
I can’t tell you how much validation from experienced musicians I look up to has stuck with me. I’ve had people tell me I know what I’m doing since I was seventeen years old, and that the countless hours of practice I put in throughout my teenage years has paid off. That’s incredibly encouraging, and it’s kept me going in my down times. Some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten was from a mentor of mine who told me to find the people who understand me and stick with them, and never to mold myself for the masses. I always remember that, and it helps me make decisions to ask myself, Am I doing this because I believe in it or because I think other people will?
Katherine
My parents are two of the people I trust the most in the world when it comes to career and life advice. They are both so hardworking and smart, yet they also are both big dreamers who aren’t afraid to think outside the box and take risks. I regularly share what I want to do in my life with both of them, knowing that they will not only encourage and inspire me but give me helpful advice too.
A few months ago, I was sharing with my mom how my biggest dream is to be a successful author, but I was scared to finish my first book that I’m writing by myself because . . . what if? What if I finish it and no one likes it? What if I fail? What if I don’t become a New York Times best seller? She said to me, “You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself. Look, if you get to be in your fifties or sixties and you haven’t done this, think of all the regrets you’ll have. Just finish the book. Then, at the very least, you can print out one copy, put it on your coffee table, and know that you did it. You finished it.”
She inspired me so much that I made more progress in a few months than I did in years. I know not all parents are so encouraging, and I’m really grateful that my mom and dad are the way they are!
Reach out to adults and mentors you trust, and share your dreams and fears about the future. With the help of your community, you can get closer to your dreams.
CHANGE IS GOOD
Everything changes. And that’s perfectly okay! Part of life is setting a course with intention, but then not being afraid to go down a new side road as it presents itself. Even if you never know where you’ll end up, if you keep trying and aiming for a purposeful life, you will end up somewhere great.
Katherine
Growing up, I had so many different ideas of jobs I wanted to do. The first job I ever wanted as a kid was to “make books.” I would glue scraps of fabric to construction paper for the cover, then hole punch a bunch of pages together to make a little book. Then I would write stories or poems inside and illustrate it with pictures. I remember my first book was called Lilly’s Adventure to the Wondrous Land.
Then, when I was around nine or ten, I became fascinated with archaeology after reading some books on it. I was convinced I would spend my time digging for dinosaur bones and ancient artifacts when I grew up. When I got into my early teens, I became obsessed with fashion. I told all my friends I would be a fashion designer. My mom got me a bunch of books on fashion design, and I started studying them and drawing sketches to prepare for my career.
Next, I became interested in researching diseases. Over the course of a year, I read an entire book on diseases that was more than a thousand pages long! At that point I wanted to be a researcher at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
You may be surprised reading this, knowing my full-time job now is as a member of this band with my sisters! The point is, you may end up doing something totally different than you thought you would as a kid. And I’m only twenty-seven now, so I definitely plan on doing a lot of different things throughout my life! Who knows? Maybe I’ll dabble in a lot of my previous interests in the years to come. I hope to have many years ahead of me, and I want to live a colorful, interesting life!
* * *
You may end up doing something totally different than you thought you would as a kid.
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Christina
When I am facing changes or career decisions, I always ask God for guidance. I ask Him to point me in the direction He would have me go and to give me strength, courage, and wisdom along the way. That way I don’t have to depend on my own limited wisdom and vision. I can trust in Him and His plan. I have always gotten these “gut feelings” and feelings of peace leading me in the direction I needed to go. I remember when I was a teenager, around fifteen or sixteen, I would talk all the time about how I was going to pursue music. So many people around me doubted me and shot me down. Not only people my age, but plenty of parents. They thought I had no plans and that it was too far-fetched of a dream, but I was studying, working,
praying, and trusting during that time. I had this crazy idea that I had to have a career that would greatly impact others. I knew I badly wanted to be a role model for young girls because I had almost no one to look up to at the time.
While at first I may have gotten a bit too excited about money, fame, and power when I thought of a music career, that drastically changed over time. Really, being a role model was the foundation of my future vision. I wanted to make a positive impact. I wanted to lead. And that desire has led me to some surprising places.
I believe that when you base your goals and dreams on a good intention and a positive plan, you give yourself your best shot at making something happen. You have to know that people will try to tear you down, that not everyone will support you, and that you’ll have failure after failure to deal with. This is so normal. I wish we didn’t demonize failure as some embarrassing thing to be avoided in our culture. I wish that every young person knew that failure is how we learn. It’s how we grow. It’s a completely necessary step in the direction of success if we take lessons from it.
* * *
When you base your goals and dreams on a good intention and a positive plan, you give yourself your best shot at making something happen.
* * *
Amy
I used to be terrified when I would think about my future. I didn’t know how to plan for it. I don’t like changes when I don’t know how they will turn out. It’s like being in limbo between knowing that things will probably be fine, but they could still fall apart on me. But I was only thinking of my future in terms of me. I was totally ignoring God’s plan for me. It’s like trying to chart a course when you don’t have a map, and frankly don’t even know where you are going. It has taken me a long time to actually understand what people mean when they talk about following God’s plan and discernment. I was only relying on myself to set myself up for my future. God has an incredible plan for me, and I wasn’t even trying to find out what it was. Alone we cannot do anything, but with God all things are possible. That has become my mantra. I may still not know exactly where my future will lead, but I do know that God will be there fighting for me and loving me. If the future is in God’s strong and loving hands, then it will be good in the long run, no matter what suffering we experience.
Lisa
I’m so grateful for the changes in my life over the past few years, and I’m excited to see them keep coming. I used to want to be the most famous person in the world when I was a kid. My desire to be seen and valued drove me to think that my dream was to be seen and valued by the whole world. Now I know that is an impossible and dangerous dream to have. These days I’m more driven by my desire to inspire and help the people who follow me, express myself creatively, and support myself and live comfortably. I know that people are always going to outdo me in some way, and I have gladly accepted that. I know that some people are very rich, extremely successful, and loved by many, yet they still are deeply unhappy with their lives because what they’re longing for can’t be provided by strangers or large sums of money. I know that having people think you’re doing better than they are financially won’t bring you any meaning or peace in the middle of the night when you’re all alone and the rest of the world is asleep. I have stopped fighting for the approval and admiration of the rest of society and am focused on living my truth for the good of myself and others, whatever that means to me each year. If I’m more developed emotionally or spiritually than I was the year before, I’m happy with my life. And if I’m not, all I’m focused on is how I can pull that off in the year ahead of me. I’m ready for more and better changes!
* * *
Having people think you’re doing better than they are financially won’t bring you any meaning or peace in the middle of the night.
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Dani
Since I was nine, our band has been my whole life. That made me different from my friends. Everyone around me was in school, and I was going to meetings in LA with record labels. Because of this, I felt so different. I wanted to fit in so badly. So when I was around fifteen, I decided to pretend my band didn’t exist and immerse myself in the “real world” of teenagers who were “normal.” For a while it felt so good to fit in and forget about responsibility, but as I got older and closer to my twenties, I looked at my life and realized it wasn’t what I wanted. I had prioritized fun, friends, and fitting in so much that I barely had morals, goals, or thoughts of the future at all. When I turned eighteen, for the first time in pretty much my entire life, I thought ten years down the line. Where did I want to be? Who did I want to be? How did I want to feel? And what actions did I need to take now to have the life I wanted?
* * *
Where do you want to be? Who do you want to be? How do you want to feel? What actions do you need to take now to have the life you want?
* * *
For the first time I acknowledged that everything I’m doing right now, regardless of how young I am, is going to affect me in some way. If I pretend the future doesn’t exist, it won’t make my life better. In fact, it’ll just make it worse.
Focusing on saving; growing real, deep relationships; and setting goals has made me feel so secure and happy. More secure and happy than I ever felt running around with my high school friends and “having fun.” Yes, it’s important to be young and have good times, but I’ve learned that when that became my priority, my life lost meaning and depth because I wasn’t living for anything at all. I’m not saying to live in the future, but always remember that a lot of things may seem boring or unnecessary because you’re young, but things will change. Thinking about your future is always a good idea.
* * *
Thinking about your future is always a good idea.
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JOURNAL
•Make a list of your passions. Now think about your dreams for the future. How do your passions and dreams for the future intersect?
•Have you ever let failure be “the end” of something in your life? Think about how you’ve felt about some recent failures. How could they be an opportunity to learn and get better?
•What is your biggest challenge to staying positive? How can you fight back?
PRAY
God, I trust that You have a great plan for my future. Lead me to make wise choices and follow Your lead as I discover the things You made me to do and take joy in. My future is in Your hands!
CHAPTER 8
LETTERS TO OUR YOUNGER SELVES
WE’VE TALKED ABOUT SO MANY things in this book that we wished we’d known when we were younger. They’re the kinds of things we tell girls who reach out to us, asking for advice, and that we tell ourselves when we need some perspective. So we wrote some letters to our younger selves with all the things we wish we knew at that age. Maybe you’ll recognize yourself in these girls. Maybe you’ll feel less alone. Maybe you’ll start getting excited about your future and everything it holds. Wherever you are in life, we hope you’ll see some hope in here for you!
Christina
Dear fifteen-year-old me,
You’re in a strange spot. You don’t feel like you fit in at all with people your age. You have a very passionate heart full of dreams, but part of you wonders if they are just dreams because they seem so outrageous. You feel invisible to guys, and you wonder if you will stay invisible forever. You’re a fairly confident person in some areas, like leadership, and you always have been. But there are several other areas where you’re doubting yourself like crazy, and you just don’t know how to speak up or how to feel like you actually belong in the room.
I am here to tell you that you don’t have to worry about ANY of this. You are developing strong convictions right now that are not the norm at all, but trust me, it is because of those convictions that you will end up in a place you are very, very proud of ten years later.
You will not look back and regret any of those decisions. I know you feel kind of crazy sometimes, but you’re about to be completely shocked by what happ
ens with these dreams you’re “crazy enough” to believe in. Just please promise me you’ll do everything you possibly can to hold on to that idealistic and hopeful attitude you have . . . It’s much, much, much rarer at twenty-five than it is at fifteen.
You’re going to blossom with so much confidence you won’t even believe it. Sure, you’ll never be bulletproof, because you’re a human, not a robot, but you’re going to develop a very strong sense of self, and you’re going to become such a strong leader. You don’t need to worry about all those things you’re worrying about right now. Honestly, you should just start holding your head high and putting yourself out there right now.
If there’s one thing I’ve seen over time, it’s that everyone feels like they have no idea if they’re doing anything right—some people are just better at bluffing than others. And when it comes to guys, please stop worrying. Stop trying to contort yourself into this mold of what you think they want you to be. Instead, I’d suggest you hold your head high (yes, I’ll say it again). Just be you and, you know, maybe possibly focus on a few things other than guys for a large part of your day. If you cut that time in half, you could really get a lot of other good things done. Please rest assured, though, you’re about to be hit with an avalanche of male attention when you embrace yourself, and the one thing I hope you’ll do is be much, much, much more picky. If a guy is treating you like you’re nothing more than a second thought to him, please cut him off. You will never regret that, but you will look back and wish you’d stood up for yourself more.
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