Been There Prayed That (9781622860845)

by Joy, E. n.

  “Color, Mommy, color,” Unique’s three-year-old said with excitement after noticing the lay out on the kitchen table.

  “I see, sweetie.” Unique leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. “You gon’ color Mommy a nice picture to hang up on the Shine Board?”

  “Yep,” he replied, then took off and claimed a seat and coloring book.

  “Me too, Mommy,” her middle child proclaimed. “I’m gonna shine too.”

  “Going to,” her eldest son corrected. “It’s I’m going to shine too.”

  Once again, Lorain found herself immersed in the way Unique interacted with her children.

  “It’s really just the refrigerator,” Unique said to Lorain when catching her staring. She assumed she was looking crazy in wonderment about what the children were referring to as Shine Board.

  “Huh?” Lorain said, snapping out of her daze.

  “The Shine Board, it’s what we call the refrigerator that’s covered with pictures the children draw, good reports, and awards from their teachers—stuff like that.”

  “Oh,” Lorain said. She was impressed, but she didn’t show it. “Shall the two of us get down to work so you and your kids can get out of here?” She paused, realizing that her words hadn’t come out right. Well, they’d come out right, she just wished they’d stayed in her head where she’d meant for them to. “It’s Saturday. I’m sure you all would much rather be somewhere else than cooped up in my little old place.” She cleaned it up.

  “Can I whip my kids up something to eat first? They’ll play better and not bother us on full stomachs.”

  “Well, I’m not sure what I might have that the children would like,” Lorain thought, kicking herself for not buying snacks to keep the children settled. “I don’t do much grocery shopping with it just being me here and all.”

  “Child, don’t even worry,” Unique said as she began scrambling through the refrigerator. “I’m a single mom, which means I’m sure I’ve made miracles out of less. Food stamps don’t stretch as far as a person might think.”

  Lorain couldn’t believe how open Unique had just been in her admittance of being on food stamps. Although Lorain had never been on them herself, she was certain public assistance was a thing of embarrassment, not something to be proud about, or even to tell people about for that matter.

  Lorain had been fortunate as a child. Even though her mother and father divorced when she was only ten, leaving her mother to raise her as a single parent, her father paid child support and alimony, which prevented them from having to seek any type of public assistance. Lorain’s father even had her on his insurance plan, so they never even had to seek as much as a health card.

  A few minutes after Unique had gone through Lorain’s fridge, freezer, and cupboards, she’d created her children a concoction that even wet Lorain’s taste buds. Lorain watched as Unique served her children plates that had two layers of toast. In between the slices of toast, Unique had spread some spaghetti sauce. She’d somehow managed to split the little bit of mozzarella cheese Lorain had left in her fridge amongst the three children so that it melted between the toast. On top, she’d spread another layer of sauce, sprinkled parmesan cheese on it, and topped that with mushrooms she’d taken from a can that Lorain had in her cupboard.

  “Thank you, Mommy. This looks delicious,” the oldest child said after Unique sat the plates in front of the children.

  “Thank you, honey. Now join hands and bless the food,” Unique ordered.

  Lorain thought that Unique would stand there and lead the children in prayer, but that wasn’t the case. She made her way over to the bar, sitting down in front of her notebook and pen, while her eldest child led his younger siblings in prayer. Lorain was absolutely beside herself. Unique, of all people, was actually training up her children in the way that they should go. Who would have thought it?

  “So you ready to do this?” Unique asked Lorain.

  “Oh, uh, yes. Let’s get down to business, but first, we should open in prayer too.”

  The women closed their eyes and joined hands. Unique was about to open her mouth to begin praying, but Lorain jumped right in and led them in prayer. For the next hour or so, Lorain led everything else too, while Unique listened.

  “Well, I’ve covered everything on the agenda.” Lorain yawned after about an hour or so. “So I guess we can call it a day.”

  Lorain was beat. It seemed like she had been going non-stop covering different issues regarding the Single’s Ministry. She’d covered a couple of things she wanted to change with the by-laws. She’d covered fundraising ideas. She’d covered Single’s events and activities. Now that she thought about it, she’d done everything. But what could she say? In all honesty, she hadn’t expected much out of Unique anyway.

  Unique tidied the kitchen back up, washing anything she had soiled in preparing her children a snack. After the children had finished eating, Unique had given each of them a cup of water. She washed the cups too. She had the children put all the crayons back in the box and stack their coloring books up nice and neat.

  “You guys can take the coloring books with you if you’d like,” Lorain told the boys.

  “No, we want to keep them here for when we come back the next time,” the five-year-old told Lorain. Lorain was hoping that there wouldn’t have to be a next time. “It’s fun here. And the food is good.” He smiled.

  Lorain returned the smile, kicking herself for her most recent thought. Lorain led her guests back to their shoes and jackets. Once everyone was situated, she locked up behind them and drove them home.

  “Hold on for a minute while I go in the house and get something,” Unique said when Lorain parked her car in the driveway of their home. Unique unbuckled her children’s seatbelts, got them out of the car, and then went into the house.

  Lorain tapped her fingers on the steering wheel as she waited for Unique to return. She couldn’t imagine what she had to go in and retrieve. A few seconds later her curiosity was answered.

  Unique walked up to the driver’s side of Lorain’s car. Lorain had already traded the crack for an all out rolled down window.

  “Here you go,” Unique said as she held out her hand.

  Lorain could tell something was in it, she just couldn’t tell what it was. Reluctantly, she held out her hand to accept whatever Unique was offering.

  “There’s some gas money for you. Thanks for the ride. See you at church tomorrow—sista.” On that note, Unique walked away, leaving the ten dollar bill, the last bit of money she had to her name, in Lorain’s hand. She’d sensed back at the McDonald’s drive-thru that Lorain felt she was running game on her about leaving her wallet and money. She wanted to show her just how wrong she was.

  Lorain was dumbfounded. So Unique really had left her money at home after all. Unique hadn’t been trying to play her for a fool; she just wanted to feed her children. Dread fell over Lorain. She felt as though God had turned His face from her in grief, disappointed at the actions of His daughter. Thinking God would be even more disappointed in her if she took the money, Lorain opened her door and stepped outside the car. “That’s okay,” Lorain called to Unique. “You keep it. I’m sure you need it more than me.”

  Unique paused just as she’d made it to the door. She turned around and shot Lorain a look of death. “And just what’s that supposed to mean? You think ’cause you got a little transportation and a little piece of house that you better than me? That you got it going on?” Unique shook her head. “Please. I bet you grew up right around the corner from me.” Unique looked Lorain up and down. “Keep the ten spot. ’Spite popular opinion, you need it more than me. Go buy yourself some character.”

  Lorain didn’t even try to come up with a comeback as Unique entered her house and slammed the door behind her. Once again, she’d prayed to be the bigger person when it came to her and Unique, but once again, she’d failed miserably.

  “I’m sorry, God,” she said as she got back into her car and proceeded
to drive home. She put the ten dollar bill in her glove compartment, vowing to give it back to Unique. “It’s obvious I can’t do this without you, God. I can’t just see Unique how you see her and love her with the love of Christ.” Lorain continued to pray as she drove, asking God to touch Unique so that she didn’t come off so strong and raw toward Lorain and people in general. She asked God to season Unique’s tongue so that she wasn’t so vocal, saying whatever she wanted, however she wanted, and whenever she pleased—all the things that just got under Lorain’s skin and took her out of character. She prayed to God to make Unique more settled and easier to deal with.

  Just as Lorain ended her prayer, she noticed her car acting like it wanted to cut off. “What the—?” Lorain asked herself as she pumped the gas pedal, trying to keep the car moving. She looked down at her dashboard only to see her gas light on. She thumped herself on the forehead, remembering that the gas light had come on during her drive home from work last evening. She’d meant to go get gas before picking up Unique, but it had obviously slipped her mind. There was no way she was going to be able to make it back home without stopping to get gas first.

  Spotting a Speedway, Lorain pulled up at the pump. Her car seemed to take its last breath just as she parked. “Thank you, Lord!” she shouted, and then went to get her credit card so that she could pay at the pump.

  “Dang it—” Lorain fussed. “Where’s my—” Fidget. “I know I didn’t—” Fidget. “Left my dang on—” Fidget. “Purse.” Lorain sighed in defeat after an endless search for her purse. Figuring she was simply going to drop Unique off, she hadn’t even carried it with her. “I cannot believe this. And I don’t have my cell phone either to even call anybody.” She looked up. “Lord, help me.”

  Lorain let out a deep breath. “Fooling around with that dang on Unique, now I’m . . .” Lorain’s words trailed off as she remembered the ten dollar bill Unique had just given her. She opened her glove box and the money seemed to be staring at her like the money on the Geico commercials.

  Letting out a sigh of relief, Lorain picked up the ten dollar bill and headed inside the gas station. “I guess you were right, Unique,” she mumbled under her breath, “I did need this more than you.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  For the past week, Tamarra had been walking around in a zombie like state. She felt a sickness in the pit of her stomach that she couldn’t seem to get rid of. Perhaps she’d caught whatever it was that Maeyl had caught. There was no perhaps about it; she knew she had that sickening virus called The Past.

  How could this have happened? She’d buried her past so deep and for so many years. How was it that her mother was able to dig it up just like that, in a matter of minutes, and throw it at her feet? And just when the two of them were finally starting to form a better relationship? Why in the world would she go and do something like that? She had to have known how Tamarra would have felt about it.

  Tamarra couldn’t help but think this had all been set up, that her mother never really wanted to have a true mother-daughter relationship with her in the first place. She was sure her mother had only been setting the stage for that very moment, the moment she’d resurrect a part of Tamarra that had been dead and buried. How could she possibly trust her mother now, after the stunt she’d pulled?

  On several occasions, Tamarra had had to catch herself from saying how she hated her mother for what she’d done. She’d already forgiven her once. How many more times would she have to forgive her? Even though Tamarra knew the biblical answer to that question, she just wished God would stop testing her with the forgiveness issue already. Hadn’t she at least scored a C on the test when she forgave her mother and father for covering up her rape? So what if the rapist was their son? They should have protected her is how she felt.

  Her rapist, her brother, was dead as far as she was concerned. She’d killed him a long time ago. She’d killed him in her mind, in her thoughts. Every fiber of her being accepted the fact that he was dead and that she was now Mr. and Mrs. Evans’s only daughter. Their only child. Her brother being locked away in jail for the past several years for the rape of another child made it that much easier for Tamarra to believe that he was dead. But no. Like Lazarus being raised from the dead, her mother had performed some miracle, or should she say some voodoo witchcraft, and raised her brother back from the dead.

  When she’d heard her brother, Raymond’s, voice blare through the phone, Tamarra thought she’d faint. “Tammy,” he’d said. He was the only person in the world who ever called her Tammy. “Come on, Tammy, it won’t hurt. Don’t tell Mom and Dad, Tammy. You promise, Tammy?”

  Tamarra hadn’t allowed anyone else to call her by that name. That was his nickname for her. His sick nickname whenever he was on top of her. His sick nickname whenever he was threatening her not to tell Mom or Dad. His sick nickname when he was adding sugar on top by offering her candy treats not to tell.

  She’d buried the name Tammy when she’d buried her brother. And even though it had been over twenty something years since she’d heard Raymond’s voice, now at thirty-seven years of age, she’d still never forget it.

  When her phone had fallen from her ear upon hearing the sound of her brother’s voice through the phone receiver, it had shattered into pieces. Ironically, the pan of macaroni and cheese had landed flat, without a spill. Tamarra took that as God’s sign that Raymond was one demon she didn’t have to face, or at least talk to. Even more so, she took it as a sign that Raymond was one person that God didn’t expect her to forgive.

  Even upon the phone shattering into pieces, she’d heard the ringing of the other phones in her house. She knew it was her mother calling back, but she had a catering affair to get to. She couldn’t waste precious time running through the house trying to locate a phone. God wouldn’t want her to be late due to her chatting it up on the phone with her mother and her—

  Ring! Ring!

  The sudden ringing of the phone jolted Tamarra from her thoughts. She’d been letting both her home phone and cell phone go to voice mail all week. She’d wait a few minutes after the ringing, then pick up her phone to check for messages. If it was Paige or someone from church, she’d call them back immediately. She knew better than to go MIA up at New Day. Them saints would do a drive by to come see about her in a heartbeat. So versus having to literally face anyone, she’d rather put on a happy face over the phone. Certainly that would keep them at bay, for a little while anyway.

  She lay on the couch staring at the ringing living room phone, wondering if it were her mother calling again. Mrs. Evans had left her a couple of messages, which were the only ones she hadn’t returned.

  “Baby, it’s Mom,” her first message had said. “I know you were probably a bit caught off guard. I’m sorry. But please call me back. Your brother and I need to talk to you.”

  Her second and last message had said, “Tamarra, it’s Mom again. I figured I’d give you a couple of days to gather your thoughts and return my call. It’s now day three, and I still haven’t heard from you. Please call me, honey. I know things between us were just starting to get back on track. I’d never forgive myself if I’ve ruined any chances of a full reconciliation. But please, Tamarra. Call me back. Your brother—”

  The time allotted for callers to leave a message had run short, cutting off her mother before she could finish speaking. Tamarra was glad of that considering she was about to bring up her brother again. Her brother. It was amazing how Tamarra had lied so much about being an only child over the years that she’d convinced herself of it. No one from her adulthood knew about Raymond, not Maeyl, not Paige, not even Pastor. That’s the way she wanted to keep it too.

  After several more rings the caller was sent to voice mail. Tamarra got up from the couch and walked over to the phone. Without checking voice mail, she looked at the caller ID first. Her stomach knotted when she saw her mother’s phone number on the caller ID.

  “Why don’t you just leave me alone?” she found herself ye
lling as tears flooded her eyes. “No no no. I’m not going to cry,” she told herself as she began to pace away the tears. “I’ve dealt with this for far too long to be crying about it now. No, I’m not going to do it.” She briskfully and harshfully rubbed her hands across her eyes just as the phone rang again.

  She’d had enough. She couldn’t hide behind the threat of a ringing phone forever. How crazy was that? If she kept it up, she thought she might go crazy for real, end up in a room with four rubber walls. Her brother had already taken so much from her. She refused to hand him her sanity on a silver platter.

  With every ounce of courage she could muster up, she walked over and picked the phone up, placing it to her ear. “Yes, mother,” she answered. Just then, it felt like every ounce of bravery she had just moments ago had evaporated into thin air. She thought of her brother being on the other line with her mother via three-way, and it sent a chill through her veins. She completely froze when she thought of something even worse. What if he weren’t on the three-way? What if he were right there with her mother? In the very same house on the very same phone line? What if—what if he had been released from jail?

  Chapter Fifteen

  For the past couple of weeks, both Mother Doreen and Bethany had been walking around the house on egg shells. With Uriah back on the road and the children involved in school and extra curricular activities, it always seemed to be just the two of them in the house. Constantly being around someone and not speaking to them had taken its toll on Mother Doreen. To her, it just didn’t seem Christ-like. She wanted to sit down and talk with her sister, perhaps continue the subject matter they had touched upon back at the restaurant. But God hadn’t yet given Mother Doreen the words she needed to speak into her sister’s life, and anything other than that would have been flesh. So as difficult as it was, Sister Doreen remained silent and waited on God.