Always (With Bonus Material) (Always & Forever Book 1)

by Kindle Alexander

  His restaurant, La Bella Luna, was officially closed today, which was another first. In all the years he'd owned the restaurant, he'd never closed, not even on the holidays. Since the majority of the staff were misplaced from their families, having the restaurant open during Thanksgiving and Christmas was a godsend, helping to keep the depression away. Closing today said a lot. His entire little family from the restaurant was beyond excited about the upcoming nuptials.

  Even though Avery claimed they would wait a year when he proposed, he began planning their wedding the same day Kane agreed to marry him. There had never been any doubt in Avery's mind that this day was going to happen. Once Kane realized the magnitude of what Avery had in mind, he immediately halted everything, making Avery promise to keep the wedding small and intimate. Based on Avery's standard, he did keep their wedding small, but by Kane's this was far bigger than anything he imagined. He was certain the chapel was packed tight with their guests.

  To Kane, this day meant everything. It didn't matter this wasn't a legally recognized union, he was tying himself to Avery with the authority of a much higher power than any government. From the time he was little, he'd always dreamed of a God-blessed marriage. As a boy, Kane never had dreams of becoming a policeman or firefighter— he wanted to be a pastor of his own congregation.

  Today, the attack of cold feet had everything to do with the monumental sanctity of this marriage in the Lord's name. This wasn't to be taken lightly, at least as far as he was concerned. He'd be committing himself to Avery for the rest of their lives, and regardless of how Avery argued, Kane couldn't let go of his childhood teachings.

  It had been instilled in him from an early age that the Lord designed marriage to be a union between one man and one woman. At this point, Kane's biggest hope centered in not pissing God off any more than he already had. Kane would take their vows as seriously as anything he ever had in his entire life.

  "You ready, Son? They want us for pictures." Paulie poked his head through the door of his dressing room, interrupting his thoughts. For the first time since he'd entered this room, Kane looked away from the mirror and over his shoulder toward the door. Paulie, who was dressed in his own handmade tux and bowtie, narrowed his eyes and stepped inside the room, closing the door behind him.

  "What's wrong? Having second thoughts?" Paulie asked, coming to stand behind Kane's chair. They both stared in the mirror at the other.

  "Nah, well, yes, but not for the reason you think," Kane said. He resisted the urge to bite at his freshly manicured fingernails. Paulie reached out and placed a loving hand on his shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze.

  "What's the reason I think?" Paulie asked quietly, compassion filling his rough voice.

  "Second thoughts about Avery," Kane replied instantly.

  "No, Son, I never thought that," Paulie said, shaking his head. "Not once. You two are like peas and carrots, you just fit."

  Kane bit his lip. It was a question he'd been thinking about for some time. Finally, he just blurted the words out, "Does this marriage mock God?" His eyes were trained on Paulie, watching every single move he made. Uncertain and scared, Kane had no doubt desperation was written all over his face, but Paulie had never steered him wrong in the past, and he knew if anyone would be honest with him, that person would be Paulie. He chastised himself for not finding the balls to talk to Paulie about this months ago.

  Behind everyone's back, Kane had spent months secretly pouring through the New Testament. He was a Christian and believed wholeheartedly in the New Testament, but no matter how much he researched, he found no clear answers supporting the beliefs he had been raised on regarding homosexuality. Finally, he had decided to let that be enough, but now, as their marriage loomed over him, he had to know for sure.

  "Why would you think such a thing?" Paulie asked. "It's never wrong to marry for the right reasons, Kane. Committing yourself to Avery in the name of the Lord is serious business, I give you that, but I can't see how God would be upset by this at all, for any reason. You deserve a happy life, Son. Sometimes I still don't think you understand that, but it doesn't change the facts. You deserve to be happy. God wants you happy. And Avery makes you happy, doesn't he?"

  Kane was silent for several long moments, staring at Paulie, thinking over what he'd said. Paulie had used those same words countless times on him throughout the years, sometimes they eased him, sometimes they didn't. Paulie squeezed his shoulder, seeming to know, and patted him before stepping back.

  "We've got pictures to take. That cameraman doesn't like to wait. He thinks highly of himself always talking about all his National Geographic prints like that's supposed to impress me. I was in the trenches of World War II. I saw enough national geographies to…" Paulie was on roll.

  Kane checked himself one last time in the mirror and jumped in as Paulie stopped to take a breath. "Did anyone in my family come?" Kane asked, effectively stopping Paulie's rant, but he did look up at Kane, staring him directly in the eyes. After all this time, Paulie had grown to dislike his family with a vengeance, but today he didn't let that show.

  "No, Son, they didn't come. At least I haven't seen them yet," Paulie said. Kane never really expected them to actually show when he sent the invitations. It just felt wrong for him not to invite them.

  "I knew they wouldn't," Kane said and lowered his eyes, looking down at the floor. He just couldn't bring himself to meet Paulie's gaze for fear he would find pity. He was so freaking emotional today. He hadn't seen his family in fifteen years, why did he feel like crying today because they weren't here?

  "You aren't in the wrong, Kane," Paulie said, brushing his hand across his signature buzz cut as if for some reason the short, almost nonexistent hair could ever mess up. And honestly, it wasn't so much a buzz cut as just plain bald, but Paulie acted like there was still hair left on his head.

  "I don't know, maybe I am. I just haven't been able to figure out how to change the way I am or the way I feel." Kane glanced at his watch. "Are you ready?" he asked, motioning for Paulie to open the door. Avery had every minute of this day planned to precision. It wouldn't do for Kane to throw them off by being his normal analytical and apparently newfound negative self.

  "Because it's not changeable, Kane Dalton! We've been over this." Paulie frowned again, pulling open the door with a huff. "You are so damned hardheaded, and you don't listen. I've been saying this since I met you. It's like changing a pumpkin into a carriage, you just can't do it."

  "Thank you for standing by me today," Kane said, looking down at Paulie. He always had a way of making him feel better about things, and changing the direction of his wayward thoughts. Like he'd done so many times before, he gave a silent prayer of thanks for having Paulie come into his life. He kept step with Paulie as they headed toward the chapel.

  "I wouldn't be anywhere else. You're family to me, Son. You gave me back a life, and anyway, don't I look good all gussied up in these fancy duds?" Paulie laughed, straightening to his full height. Kane could only smile as Paulie attempted to pull him out of his funk.

  "You look great. I knew you would." Kane beamed, and Paulie grinned back, giving him a nod. Lord, it felt good to smile. He'd taken himself way too serious lately. "Avery's already here at the church? I've been weird lately. I'm surprised he showed."

  "Yep, he's here. Even after all his rules that everyone needs to make sure you two stay apart, they're having a hard time keeping him from coming to see if you're really here. He's worried you're gonna bolt," Paulie said.

  Kane laughed at the absurdity of that thought as he opened the big ornately carved chapel doors and let Paulie step inside before him. They both came to an abrupt halt. Kane had been involved in the wedding plans. He went to every meeting Avery asked him to attend, had a say in every part of the design, but nothing prepared him for this moment, for the sheer beauty Avery had created.

  There were thousands of flowers, all in white. Hydrangeas, roses, peonies, and calla lilies were draped across ev
ery pew, altar, pillar, archway, and candelabra in the entire church. Dozens and dozens of large urn planters were filled to overflowing with bouquets of white calla lilies. The high windowsills had cascading blooms dripping off their edges. Thousands and thousands of white rose petals outlined the walkway they were to take to the altar. The chapel was breathtakingly beautiful and fragrant, and Avery had done this just for him. He loved flowers, they calmed his soul and settled him. Beautiful blooms were a staple of their home and this seemed very much a gift from Avery just to him.

  "Your guy sure knows how to impress," Paulie said, looking all around the room. "Did you plan this?"

  "No, I had no idea," Kane said, the reserve of a few minutes ago faded away as a smile bigger than Texas spread across his face. He couldn't take it all in fast enough.

  "Come on, Romeo, the photographer's waitin'," Paulie said, grabbing Kane's arm and guiding him down the aisle.

  Details were being slung at Avery even as he prepared to walk down the aisle. He stood outside the designated chapel door, trying to contain himself. It wasn't often he denied himself, especially where Kane was concerned, but he'd reluctantly stuck with their plan, even when each minute that ticked by made the plan seem dumber by the second.

  This whole not seeing each other the day of the wedding was Kane's big idea, not Avery's as everyone assumed. Kane had used that damn ruffled shirt to get him to agree they would sleep in separate places last night and not see each other until the ceremony. So, besides the fact Kane had them on a no sex regime for the past two weeks, he hadn't seen his mister for almost twenty-four hours, and that hadn't happened since their first kiss. The time apart wasn't good for his soul or his naturally sunny disposition.

  "Avery, your backyard's ready," Janice said, coming to stand beside him as he impatiently bounced his leg, ready to get this show on the road.

  "The ice sculptures arrived?" Avery asked, his eyes trained on the door.

  "Yes, they just arrived. They're going to wait about thirty minutes to place them out," Janice said.

  "And the quartet's there? They have the playlist of what Kane likes?" Avery asked.

  "Yes, sir, double checked myself. You look nice, Avery. I'm glad you chose the bowtie. Reminds me of your grandfather," Janice said, and that drew his eyes down to Janice standing beside him.

  "You look nice, too. Thank you for keeping this together today. Take care of anything else that comes up for me, okay?" The organ started, alerting him of the time, and he cocked his head back to the door, forgetting Janice. He resisted the urge to run his fingers through his hair, his hairdresser would kill him for messing up his so called masterpiece, but Avery was tense. He knew he wore that look on his face, the one that always made Kane anxious, and he physically schooled his features. He didn't want the first glimpse Kane got of him to fill him with even more worry than he already had. This was their day, their moment, and this event meant everything to Kane, so in return it meant everything to Avery, too.

  He had worked hard to make today special for his Kane, and Avery understood the significance and devotion with which Kane would take his vows. It wasn't every day you committed yourself to one person for the rest of your life. To Kane, that was exactly what he was doing today, pledging himself to Avery forever. For Avery, he had tied himself to Kane the first night they'd made love. From that moment, he never wanted to be without Kane and now he was finally having that same promise returned in front of their friends and family.

  "Avery, are you ready?" the wedding planner asked as the organist began the processional.

  "Yes." The word came out as he exhaled the deep breath he'd been holding.

  "Remember, take slow steps forward. Don't rush it. Your mom is in the first pew and you will stand directly in front of her. In just a minute, I'll open this door and you'll begin," she said, timing her part perfectly.

  Months ago, they'd found this Episcopal Church that openly welcomed homosexuals. Every decision made since then centered on supporting and belonging to this church. He and Kane attended Sunday mass here regularly. For Kane, this congregation was a dream come true. He had no idea churches like these existed.

  Over the last several months, Avery found that Kane was as much at home in this church as he was in his restaurant. After getting past his initial hesitation, Avery found Kane truly enjoyed being here, and the members of this church loved having Kane around. When they weren't attending Sunday morning worship, Kane volunteered, spending countless hours just being helpful to the church and all of its members.

  Another big step was building a house here in Stillwater. Avery's ancestry had claimed some prime property looking down along the St. Croix River. He chose to custom build their home, working endlessly with architects and builders, trying to make a perfect home for his Kane to live in. Kane insisted Avery spent too much money, and every time he gave input, it was designed to save them money. Avery nixed most of those ideas, stating very clearly this was their dream home, the perfect place for his prince to live his life in style.

  Their house sat on a cascading hilltop looking down over the river. Kane loved the view, but no matter how Avery argued, Kane refused to move into the house until they were officially married. It made no sense and became the one thing they always argued over. They had lived together virtually from the beginning and still stayed together in the apartment close to the restaurant. Avery spent every single night at La Bella Luna just to be near Kane. He had his designated perch reserved at the bar. It was nothing for the members of this community to come in and see Avery serving food, clearing a table, or helping out behind the bar, but to Kane, all that time spent together was different. In his mind, he'd maintained the rent at his old apartment, therefore they weren't truly living together, and Kane wanted to start them off right in their new home.

  Even thinking about the hours they had spent arguing over their move caused Avery to grit his teeth and narrow his eyes, but tonight everything would be different. Tonight, his prince was coming home. And he would be wearing that ruffled dress shirt. Damn, he was a lucky guy.

  The wedding planner opened the door and stepped aside, motioning Avery forward, taking him away from his musings. The notes of the organ rang out and everyone in the church stood. Avery immediately cut his eyes to the left to see Kane as he entered. The plan had them entering at the same time, walking the aisles until they met together at the front. But he saw nothing over the sea of heads in the room.

  Everyone who had been invited had come. All three hundred fifty guests on the list came for their wedding. Dignitaries, business acquaintances, and long-time family friends were all present, including the current vice president of the United States. Avery had avoided mentioning that one to his already nervous bridegroom.

  There were no real sides of the church for Kane's family as compared to Avery's. Kane's list of attendees had been small, twenty-three plus their guests, and every one of them sat in the family section up front. Avery had only found out Kane had invited his biological family when they sent back a mean-spirited, ugly refusal to attend. One he decided not to share with Kane. Avery was certain Kane had to know they weren't here, and Avery had no idea how to make that better—except to devote himself to making sure every one of Kane's minutes were filled with happiness for the rest of the evening.

  When Avery rounded the corner and headed down his aisle, he gave a few nods along the way as he recognized faces in the crowd. Paulie's voice could be heard above the murmur of the congregation. Avery couldn't quite make out what he said, actually there was no telling what Paulie was saying as he leaned in to speak to his mother who had the pleasure of being seated next to him.

  Avery smiled at the lack of decorum, and he looked up again, his gaze connecting to Kane's for the first time today. He almost tripped over his own feet. Kane looked gorgeous. To Avery, he was the most handsome man he'd ever laid eyes on. Kane was almost too handsome to look at and still remain upright. His knees always went weak when he was around the man
and today was no exception.

  Avery was so glad Kane had chosen the silk tie. The style polished him up and made him perfect.

  Kane's eyes held his. Emotion churned through that blue gaze, and Avery prayed Kane felt all the same deep emotional connections that coursed through him. Again, he resisted the urge to run his hands over his hair to make sure everything was in place. He prayed he looked his best in order to stand next to this fine man he was fortunate enough to be marrying. Avery was a couple of steps ahead of Kane, and instead of stopping at the priest, he continued walking directly to Kane.

  As he came to a stop, he reached out, taking both Kane's hands in his, holding them tightly. It wasn't until Kane gave him a questioning look, that he realized they were completely off center of where they were supposed to stand. The guests chuckled, so did Avery, because apparently his soul mate had just robbed him of all ability to think.

  "Hi. You're beautiful," Avery whispered as they moved together back to the front, taking their place before the priest. The notes coming from the organ came to an end. Kane's nervousness showed on his way too serious face. Avery gave him his best grin and winked, watching until his mister's facial features lightened and finally Kane smiled back. That sweet smile robbed Avery of any functioning brain cells left in his already fragile mind.

  Avery kept a tight hold on Kane's hand. He had to touch him, like he had to breathe, and the feel of Kane's warm skin helped to settle Avery's nervous energy. It calmed him enough to focus on the female priest as she began the service.

  Avery stayed quiet. He couldn't keep his eyes off his beautiful lover for the entire service. He moved when he was supposed to move and kneeled when he was told to kneel, but he never let go of Kane's hand throughout the ceremony.