Secrets Everybody Knows

by Christa Maurice

  “That’s Guinness, you cretin. I got it for that cheese soup I made for in-service day last spring.” Lily tapped her pencil on her notepad.

  “It is the second worst thing I’ve ever had in my mouth,” Elaine said.

  “What was the worst?” Lily shot back.

  Elaine froze at the edge of the living room. Her heart paused between one beat and the next as her brain assaulted her nose with the scent of crushed grass and water. The memory seemed to want to grab her bodily and transport her back in time. Tears welled up in her eyes, and heat welled between her legs. All this time later and her body responded the same. He wasn’t even here. Beth stood up. “Now that that’s behind us, can we get down to work? Lily, why don’t you call George and see what he thinks about that steam table?”

  “Why me?”

  “Because you have a gift.” Beth grabbed Elaine by the arm and hauled her into the kitchen. “What is wrong with you?”

  “Nothing.”

  “And it shows. Come on, Elaine, we’ve been friends since we were kids. I’ve never seen you act like this. John’s going to be fine.”

  Elaine chewed her lips. She studied Beth’s eyes, trying to decide how much her friend could handle. Beth’s dirty secrets were common knowledge, but Elaine had never been touched by scandal. If Beth knew–if she knew–

  But Beth had so much to deal with. Elaine couldn’t burden her with something she should have told her years ago. Fourteen years ago. “I don’t want to add to your stress. Dealing with Nonie and Jean and having that guy visiting. Don’t worry about me. I can pull it together.” She set the beer on the table and took the notebook out of Beth’s hands. Studying the list, she tried to pretend she was the together person everyone thought she was. “I wonder if we could borrow a bus from Billingsville.” She sat down at the table and plucked a pen from the cup in the center. Beth had been right about this. Having something to do helped. It meant she only thought about Johnny every five seconds instead of every two.

  Chapter 3

  Three days after getting her first kiss from Johnny, Elaine found an excuse to go back to his house. Sue’s mother had announced that the silver should be polished. Then she took a bottle of whiskey and went upstairs. Dinnertime came and went while they finished the chore with no sign of an adult and no suggestion from Sue that they should prepare any food. Elaine was about to invite Sue to her house for dinner when she heard a car park out back and Johnny walked through the door.

  “Mom?” he asked.

  Sue pointed up.

  “Dad?”

  Sue shrugged.

  “He left the garage two hours ago.”

  Sue shook her head.

  “Dinner?”

  Sue shrugged again.

  Johnny’s eyes flickered toward Elaine with the flat disinterest an older brother would have for his sister’s friends. “Fan-fucking-tastic.” He checked the wall clock. “All right, I guess it’s Burger King.”

  Elaine stood up, clutching her hands behind her back. She wasn’t sure what to expect from Johnny. He couldn’t grab her in his arms and swing her around, but did he have to act like she was invisible? “I don’t have any money.”

  Johnny shrugged. “I got it. Can you drive?”

  Elaine shook her head.

  “No learner’s permit even?”

  Elaine looked at the floor. She suspected it might be part of the argument her parents were having, so she hadn’t brought it up.

  “I guess I have to drive too.” He glared at Sue. “Shoes.”

  Sue ran up the stairs.

  “I better put mine on too,” Elaine muttered, walking into the kitchen where she’d left her shoes by the door.

  “Hey, I talked to Greg and those guys. I told them I’d break them in half if anything happened to your sister.” Johnny trailed her to the table and stood over her.

  “Thanks.” Elaine pulled on her sneakers. Her chest hurt. She didn’t know how she was going to eat. When had she become so stupid that she thought Johnny McMannus had any interest in her?

  “What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing. Maybe I should just go home.”

  “Why?”

  Elaine wrapped her arms around herself. “I don’t want to be in the way.”

  “In the way? You think I’m ignoring you because I want to?” Johnny cupped her cheek. “Elaine–”

  Sue’s footsteps thundered on the stairs.

  “After dinner, in the barn.” He took a step back and leaned on the counter with his arms crossed. “How long does it take you to put on shoes? I’m starved,” he said to his sister.

  “I wasn’t gone that long,” Sue complained. “I call shotgun.”

  Elaine sat in the backseat, torn between relief and terror. Cute Johnny McMannus, the boy every girl in town drooled over, liked her. He’d said she was pretty and he’d kissed her. On the other hand, reprobate Johnny McMannus, the boy who had a felony record for statutory rape, liked her. The felony was bogus, but the fact that he had already had sex made her nervous. It opened a whole range of questions Elaine wasn’t sure she could ask.

  But when he kissed her, he’d been so nice. She didn’t live in a cave. He could have done a lot more than he did. That indicated some kind of respect. Plus, he did her a favor, warning those boys away from Kathy. That explained why Kathy stayed home last night.

  As they ate, she observed him. He took up one side of the table while she and Sue shared the other. His eyes stayed on his food. Sue asked a few questions about the garage, which he answered in as few words as possible. When Sue ventured that their father was probably at the bar, Johnny arched one eyebrow at her. Elaine only spoke when spoken to, other than to thank Johnny for dinner, and he grunted in response.

  “Dad’s going to come home drunk,” Sue said as they climbed into the car.

  “I know. Just camp out in your room like you usually do.”

  “Maybe we should take Elaine home first.”

  “Why?” Johnny started the engine.

  Sue squirmed in her seat. “She might see Dad drunk.”

  “She’s going to see it eventually.”

  Elaine clasped her hands in her lap. Thus far she had not seen Mr. McMannus drunk. She didn’t look forward to that initiation into Weaver’s Circle citizenship. In his own home, he could only be worse. Should she invite Sue to stay at her house tonight? That would mean not getting to talk to Johnny, but it would get her friend out of her father’s reach. Elaine coughed.

  Johnny glanced at her in the rearview mirror.

  “Um, Sue, do you want to stay at my house tonight?”

  “No,” Sue said. Her voice was so forbidding Elaine wanted to shrink back in her seat.

  Johnny caught her eye again in the mirror. There was nothing readable in the look.

  “Let’s just take Lanie home,” Sue suggested again.

  “I don’t want to. She walked over, she can walk back.”

  Sue folded her arms. “You’re a jerk.”

  “I worked all day. What did you guys do? Polish silver? Wait ’til next year when you have to get a job.”

  Sue pouted. “When are you going to teach me to drive?”

  “When I get around to it. God, you’re worse than Dad.”

  Elaine folded her hands in her lap. They were shaking and sweating. Her parents encouraged her to spend time with Sue. They referred to her as a “poor girl” and said she needed to be around someone like Elaine. They said the same thing about Beth Wilson. Would they feel the same way about Johnny? That he needed a nice person around him? Somehow she doubted it.

  Johnny parked his car behind the house. Elaine crawled out of the backseat and then didn’t know what to do. He was walking toward the kitchen door. Hadn’t he said he’d talk to her in the barn when they got back? Had he changed his mind?

  “You better go home before my dad gets here,” Sue told her.

  “I’m gonna take a shower,” Johnny announced.

  “So? Like anybody cares
.” Sue followed him inside, letting the door slam behind her.

  Elaine stared at the back door for a minute. Then she turned and started toward home. Passing the barn, she glanced at it. Maybe he wanted her to wait. He’d just spent all day working in the heat and there had been no reason for him to announce he was taking a shower. If anyone else found her here, she could say she wanted to see the car.

  Light leaked through the gaps in the walls, casting weird shadows. She took her hair out of its ponytail and combed her fingers through it, wondering as she did why she wanted to look pretty for Johnny. As her eyes adjusted to the dimness, she ran her hand along the rear fender. The engine sat on sawhorses beside it. Opening the passenger door, she touched the cracked white leather. The outside looked good other than needing tires. She had no idea how Johnny planned to fix any of it. Or what he planned for her.

  The door squealed open.

  Elaine spun around.

  “Elaine?” Johnny asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Good. I didn’t know if you knew I wanted you to hang around.” Johnny walked toward her, but then pulled up short right in front of her. His hair was wet and his shirt stuck to his damp body. “Hi.”

  “Hi.” Elaine tried to smile, but it crumbled.

  “I’m sorry I upset you before. I couldn’t let on to Sue that anything happened between us. Nobody can find out.”

  “Something happened between us?” Elaine didn’t know what answer to hope for.

  “I thought it did.” Johnny brushed her cheek with his thumb. “Elaine, you are such a pretty girl. I don’t know how I missed it, but all the sudden, you’re beautiful. I always thought you were nice. I understand if you don’t want any part of me.”

  “You really like me?”

  “Yeah, baby.”

  “Not just because nobody else will go out with you?” Elaine clenched her fists. “Don’t answer that.”

  “Why?”

  “Because if you’re just spending time with me out of desperation, I don’t want to know.”

  Johnny laughed. “What makes you think that?”

  “You haven’t dated anyone since you got arrested.” Elaine’s lower lip started to quiver.

  “I haven’t dated anyone because I haven’t wanted to.” Johnny put his arms around her shoulders. “Believe me, there are lots of girls calling. I want to be with you because I like you, not because I have no choice.” He spun away, leaving Elaine grabbing for the car to catch her balance. “Now that I find somebody I really like, she’s underage and I’ve got a record and Myers is still on my ass just waiting for me to screw up.”

  “That’s why you couldn’t say anything in front of Sue.” Elaine clutched the car. She liked it better when he was holding her.

  “That’s why you might not want to get mixed up with me.” He leaned on a post. “Elaine, you’re a good girl. You’re smart and nice and perfect. Are you a Girl Scout?”

  “I was. I quit two years ago.” Girl Scout? What did being a Girl Scout have to do with anything?

  “Close enough. You have a really good reputation, and if people find out you’ve been with me you’re going to lose that.”

  “Been with?” Elaine’s throat closed. Her mind went blank at the idea of “being with” Johnny.

  “People will assume the worst.”

  “I’m not ready for that.”

  Johnny shrugged, his jaw flexed. “I understand. I’m not happy about it, but I didn’t think a nice girl like you would want the whole town whispering because somebody started a rumor. My mom doesn’t like the way people talk about my family and she causes a lot of those rumors herself.”

  “I’m not worried about rumors.” Elaine closed the car door, bracing herself to say it out loud. “I’m not ready to have sex.”

  Johnny stared at her. “Did you think that’s all I wanted?”

  Elaine shrugged. “It’s not like there’s much else we can do. If nobody can know about us, we can’t exactly go to the movies and I can’t help you with the car.”

  “But you’re okay with hanging out with me?” He frowned like he expected bad news.

  “I’d like to hang out with you.”

  Johnny crossed the floor in three strides, picked her up and swung her around. “I can teach you about the car if you want.”

  “All right.” Elaine laughed.

  Johnny set her on her feet. “I promise you, I’ll do everything I can to make sure you don’t get hurt. You’re safe with me.”

  Elaine looked into his eyes and trusted him. He meant what he said. The cute reprobate wanted to protect her and really did like her. Johnny had kissed her, and now she understood why all the girls were so desperate to get a boyfriend. Even a secret boyfriend was better than nothing.

  * * * *

  Johnny caught sight of George before the other man saw him. Fourteen years later and he looked exactly the same. Johnny waved and George started toward him. “Hey man, great to see you again. Sorry about the circumstances.” George gave him a two-handed shake.

  “Good to see you too.” Johnny adjusted his bag over his shoulder.

  “You have anything to pick up?”

  “No, just my carry-on. I travel light. My mom wasn’t too clear. What’s going on?”

  “Your dad got into an argument with Elaine Hammersmith in the circle and had a heart attack. Last I heard he was in CCU.”

  “Elaine Hammersmith?” Johnny clutched his bag. He thought he’d made peace with the idea of seeing her again. Apparently not. “What was she arguing with my dad about?”

  “Something about the festival. I heard he was mad because he didn’t get paid for last year.”

  “What does Elaine have to do with that?” Johnny hoped George wouldn’t notice how he referred to Elaine. Getting linked with him would hurt her more now than it would have before. She was a teacher now. A respected member of the community.

  “She helps put it together. The Summer Festival has gotten huge. Elaine Hammersmith, Lily Walker and Beth Wilson coordinate the whole thing. It’s next week. I bet they’re freaking out about your dad.”

  “Why?” Other than the fact that he’d had a heart attack while arguing with Elaine. Knowing her, this was eating her up, even if his dad had started it, which he probably had.

  “Your dad does mechanical support every year. He has guys who sit in the parking lots and change flats and jump dead batteries and help people who lock their keys in their cars. It was Lily’s idea, and it works great.”

  “What else is going on?”

  George launched into a recitation of births, deaths, marriages and arrests that Johnny tuned out. He knew most of it already. For the past eight years, he’d read the local paper online every day looking for Elaine’s name. Before that he’d had it mailed to him. All that studying allowed him to focus on preparing to see her again. When he left town fourteen years ago, he never intended to come back. He’d preferred to cut his own heart out and drive away than see her hurt. That was supposed to be the most difficult sacrifice he made for her. Coming back already hurt more. He had no idea how she would receive him. Maybe she’d moved on. Accepted what he did as for the best. She might have dated around and learned what a big, selfish jerk he’d been, hiding her in that barn all winter and in the woods all summer. That whole year she missed all the stuff kids did in high school. The dances and the games. All so she could roll around in the hayloft with him, necking while wearing a parka.

  The Flintstones theme started to play.

  “Oh, that’s me.” George fished a phone out of his pocket. “It’s Lily.” He flushed.

  Johnny chuckled and shook his head. Some things never changed, and one of them was George Kline’s awkwardness around girls. That this girl was thirty-odd years old and so was George didn’t change the equation.

  “Those tables are always a problem. Deposits get into everything, and it’s almost impossible to get them out. I can call Frank and see– What?” George pointed an electronic key
fob at a black ’06 Mustang. Johnny frowned at George. Maybe things had changed. “I’ll call him anyway. How is everything else going?”

  Johnny tossed his bag in the backseat and ran his hand along the door frame. The car was spotless. Just a little road dirt, but not a speck of rust or a single ding anyplace.

  “I thought she was taking this year off to take care of Mrs. Bennetti and Ms. Forrester. He is? Well, that’s good. What else is wrong?” George climbed into the driver’s seat.

  Johnny studied the leather seats. They were in showroom condition too.

  “I might be able to help you with that. Hey, Johnny.”

  Johnny broke off his examination of George’s car. “What?”

  “You think you could work on a school bus?”

  “An engine’s an engine. I could probably find my way around it,” he said. “I don’t know what’s going to be waiting for me at the shop, though.” No matter what was at the shop, it wasn’t going to bring him into close contact with Elaine. Buses for the festival would bring him right into her orbit.

  “Hey, I might have somebody who can help you out with the buses too.”

  From the passenger seat, Johnny could hear a girlish squeal of “I love you!”

  George turned a sudden and brilliant red that made Johnny worry about his heart. “It’s nothing, Lily. I’m glad to help. I’ll talk to you when I find out about that steam table.” He snapped the phone closed and dropped it into the cup holder.

  “Why don’t you just ask her out?”

  “How do you know I haven’t?”

  Johnny arched an eyebrow at George. “Do I have to repeat my question?”

  “She’d just say no and then it would be weird. We have to work together.”

  “So what? It’s better to sit back and let her get away because you’re nervous?”

  “She isn’t going to go out with a guy like me.” George started the car. “She’s got a college degree and she teaches English at the high school. I’m the janitor. She’s out of my league.”

  “So you would rather sit back and watch her get away?”

  George shrugged. “Let’s get back to town so I can get on that steam table for her. Unless you want to stop and see your dad on the way.”