Secrets Everybody Knows

by Christa Maurice

  “Everybody laughs at me because I jump away from the ball.”

  “Let them laugh.” Johnny mussed his hair. “It’s okay to be afraid.”

  The boy nodded. Three batters later he went up to bat and struck out without swinging at a single pitch. That marked the end of the inning. Greg came into the dugout as they were going out. He glanced at Johnny as he stopped the little boy.

  “Wayne, why didn’t you swing at the ball?” he asked.

  “Coach McMannus said it was okay,” the boy whined.

  “You’re just a scaredy-cat,” the first boy who batted said.

  Johnny grabbed the batter’s shoulder. “Hey, cut it out.”

  “Bobby,” Greg scolded at the same time.

  Bobby looked up at Johnny with a sour expression.

  “Don’t pick on your friends. You never know when you’re going to need them,” Johnny told him with a gentle shove toward the field.

  Greg waited until the boys all left the dugout. “Wayne is afraid of the ball. We’ve been trying to break him of jumping out of the way of the pitches.”

  “Oh. I didn’t know.”

  Greg shrugged. “It’s okay. You can talk to him later. Never too early to learn that you have to do things even though you’re afraid, right?”

  “I’m really not good with kids. Maybe I shouldn’t be here.”

  “If we don’t have three coaches we have to forfeit. You don’t want the kids to have to forfeit, do you?”

  Johnny shook his head.

  “Don’t sweat it. You won’t do any permanent damage.” Greg clapped him on the shoulder and then turned to yell encouragement to the boys.

  Johnny sat on the bench, watching the action and keeping quiet. By the end of the third inning, they were leading. Greg had a flawless ability to make the kids light up around him. They all seemed really excited and eager to please. Johnny couldn’t figure out where that came from. “You’re really good at this,” Johnny told Greg.

  “Kids respond to encouragement more than negativity.”

  “My dad encourages?”

  “Well, no.” Greg scuffed the ground with his shoe. “I don’t want to speak ill of the…ill, but he’s pretty loud. The boys are having a really good game today too. Makes it easier to be positive. Hey, Josh, great catch.”

  Johnny saw Beth and Nonie’s grandson headed toward the concession stand. As they passed the path into the woods, the guy grabbed Beth’s hand and yanked her into the trees. Johnny smiled. That stand of trees held a lot of fond memories. Probably for everyone in town.

  Except Elaine. She wasn’t the kind of girl who would go to a make-out spot.

  Greg caught his eye and nodded toward the trees.

  “I saw.”

  “He moves fast. He’s only been in town a couple of days.”

  “She’s hot.” Johnny watched the trees for movement. He needed to catch that guy today. Easier than hunting him down on Monday. “I wonder if they know about the poison ivy.”

  “Crud, I bet not. Beth was never one to go back there.”

  “Neither was Elaine Hammersmith.” Johnny bit his tongue. Why attract attention?

  “No.” Greg lowered his voice so the boys wouldn’t hear. “Everybody says she’s a lesbian.”

  “What?” Johnny’s stomach clenched. That wasn’t possible. Had he turned her into a lesbian by walking away when he did? How did she stand the pressure of having the whole town know? Did she have a girlfriend? “Are you sure?”

  “Well, I’m not sure. It’s not like she makes out with women in the bleachers or brings girls to dinner parties, but nobody ever sees her with a man either.” Greg shrugged. “I don’t really care what her sexual orientation is as long as she does her job. Just kind of a shame. Another woman off the auction block.”

  “A lesbian.”

  “And her sister, Kitty, is kind of fast.”

  “Her sister Kitty? I thought her sister’s name was Kathy.”

  Greg rolled his eyes. “She changed it for obvious reasons. Makes you wonder what was going on in that house when those girls were growing up. The Hammersmiths always seemed so normal.”

  Johnny wanted to run and hide. Elaine a lesbian and Kathy a tramp. He needed to hunt down Greg Fitzroy and Jeff Wilson and make good on his fifteen-year-old threat to break them in half. But how could he make it up to Elaine for making her hate men? “I’m gonna use the bathroom.”

  “I’ve got to get out to third.” Greg waved to an older boy lingering just outside the dugout. “Hey, Mike. Watch the batting order, would ya?”

  Johnny locked himself in the stall and pressed his forehead against the cement block divider. A lesbian. This was not something he had ever imagined. For a couple of years he’d worked with a Latina dyke. If he still had her number he’d give her a call to ask how he should handle it. She claimed lesbians didn’t hate men, they just liked women more, but the Elaine he knew had liked men.

  He thought she’d liked men.

  She hadn’t been boy-crazy or anything.

  She’d made it to sixteen without ever being kissed.

  Maybe she’d always been like that and messing around with him had been an experiment.

  That thought didn’t convince him or make him feel better.

  The bathroom door opened. Johnny flushed and opened the door. The accountant was scrubbing his hands.

  “Hi there. Hot one, isn’t it?” Johnny grinned, trying to pretend his universe hadn’t just been shaken like a snow globe.

  “Very.” The accountant rubbed between his fingers while the water ran across his hands. He was a bull of a guy. Weighty with an important air, but not like Larry. This guy Johnny thought he could like instead of wanting to swat him like a bug.

  “I don’t seem to remember your name. I’m Johnny McMannus.”

  The accountant frowned. “Johnny McMannus?”

  “Well, I suppose we could have the same name.” Johnny shrugged. Being back in a town where he had nearly the same name as his dad was going to take getting used to. Still, it gave him a chance to use a really bad joke. “Seems unlikely though.”

  “I thought you had a heart attack.”

  “That was my dad. That’s why I’m back home.”

  “Oh, sorry. How is your dad doing?”

  “He’s still in CCU. He’ll be fine.” Johnny shuffled his feet. Everything around here always came back to his dad. “The man has the constitution of a cockroach. He could survive a nuclear holocaust.” That about summed up Dad. Johnny might not have time to get everything straightened out before his dad came out of this. He summoned another grin. “Are you dating Beth Wilson?”

  “Dating? No, I’m visiting my grandmother.” James dried his hand before holding it out. “James Leoni.”

  “Nice to meet you. Now I know why you seem familiar. Mrs. Bennetti’s grandson. She had a picture of you on her desk. I spent a lot of time beside that desk.” Johnny rolled his eyes. “I heard you were an accountant.”

  “I am.”

  “My dad has made a mess out of the garage books, do you think you could swing by and maybe help me straighten things out? I’m just a dumb grease monkey.” He knocked on his head. “And I don’t even know where to start.”

  “Things are pretty busy right now.”

  “Maybe after the festival.” Johnny wished his hands were behind his back so he could cross his fingers for luck. This guy struck him as really smart and he needed somebody really smart to get his family out of this disaster. And himself, he kept forgetting about the savings account he’d just discovered. Hopefully, this guy was up for a challenge because Johnny figured he had at least two or three lined up. The IRS might look favorably on him if he had an accountant who was famous for his honesty.

  “Yeah, I’ll call you after the festival.”

  “Great.” Johnny shook his hand. “I guess I should get back out there. I have no idea how to coach a Little League team.”

  “I couldn’t help you with that one.”


  Johnny stopped at the door. “You should be careful going into those woods.”

  “Oh?”

  “Poison ivy everywhere. The high school kids go back there to have sex so the school lets the ivy run wild to keep them out. It only works part of the time. Don’t forget to wash the backs of your arms. That’s where it always caught me.” Johnny walked out with a bounce in his step. This was a major help. Light at the end of the tunnel. A professional who seemed like a pretty straight-up guy. Moreover, a guy Johnny could get information about Elaine from.

  The bounce disappeared when he cornered the concession stand. Beth and Lily were talking to a third woman wearing a big pink hat. The hat was too huge to see around, but it had to be Elaine. Johnny hurried around the concession stand hoping she wouldn’t turn around. He ducked into the dugout and out the other side where he could hide in a shadow. From this vantage point, he could see her face and her lack of hair. For a second he thought she might be in chemo, but someone would have mentioned that. No one in town had cancer without everyone else knowing about it. No, she’d just chopped off all her beautiful hair. What was left made her look sad. Her mouth was pulled into a tight purse, and she wore sunglasses that covered most of her face. Whatever the three of them were talking about, it wasn’t good. Lily had a notebook in her hands, and Beth’s gaze ping-ponged from Lily to Elaine.

  James Leoni came out of the bathroom still dripping and tapped Beth on the shoulder. Johnny wished he could have done that to Elaine. Strolled up to her in public and talked to her. He’d never been able to say anything to her when there were people around. Dozens of dinners where he’d sat across the table from her pretending she was nobody to him when she was the world. James went to the concession stand and ordered. If Elaine hadn’t been right there, Johnny would have gone to chat with him a little more. Who was he kidding? Chatting with James more would just be an excuse that would be removed if Elaine wasn’t there.

  Kathy walked over to James and started flirting with him. Elaine had worried that Kathy would become exactly what she was. James was backing up from the onslaught, and Kathy was only half dressed. He kept glancing at Beth, who was entangled in the conference with Lily and Elaine. Johnny considered sending one of the boys over to rescue James, but Elaine attacked first. In a Beth Wilson-style outburst, she grabbed her sister and jerked her backward. Behind him, he heard a few gasps from the stands as the battle between Elaine and Kathy became a lot more interesting than the Little League game. Beth got between them and sent James away. Lily closed in on the three of them and the huddle tightened. If he had stayed around fourteen years ago, he could have kept Kathy off this path. He could have made sure she didn’t run with the wrong crowd and saved Elaine this aggravation.

  But he would have had to make Elaine a pariah in the process. Even as a lesbian, she had a better reputation than as the girl who got screwed by Johnny McMannus.

  The conference broke up. Kathy sauntered toward him with high color as Lily and Elaine headed back toward the parking lot. Beth stayed in the middle for a minute before following Kathy.

  “Well, you are a tall drink of water,” Kathy murmured, stopping in front of him. “I don’t think I know you.”

  Johnny swallowed hard. He had to remind himself that Kathy must be around thirty by now and no little girl, but the fact that she was Elaine’s little sister still hung in his mind. “Johnny McMannus.”

  “Johnny McMannus. My, my. You left town a long time ago.”

  Beth walked past, glancing at them. Johnny felt his face heat, but Beth didn’t seem too shocked.

  “I’m so sorry about your father.”

  “He’s going to be fine,” Johnny said. This conversation felt like flypaper.

  “Are you running your dad’s garage now?”

  “I am.”

  “I think I might be developing a mysterious knock in my engine.” She turned that smile on him and Johnny wished he’d rescued James when he had the chance.

  “Fill up with high grade next time.” Johnny folded his arms.

  Kathy ran her hand along his forearms, squeezing lightly the way she might test melons in the grocery store. “Oh darlin’, it might be a bigger problem than that.”

  “Kathy, you do realize you’re in Ohio and not the deep South.”

  Kathy snatched her hand away. “Nobody calls me Kathy anymore. It’s Kitty.”

  “I’m sure they call you a lot of things, Kathy.”

  “Jerk.” She stomped away.

  Johnny watched her go. He was a bigger jerk than she knew, but he came by it honestly.

  Chapter 6

  Elaine walked into the bus garage wondering if Teri was working at the grocery store today. She was out of ice cream again. The Bailey’s experiment had worked, but nothing soothed the savage beast like Chubby Hubby. The results of her experiments were starting to show on the scale too. Elaine wished she was one of those people who exercised when they were depressed. Maybe she should try it. Alcohol and ice cream didn’t fill the void anymore. A temporary patch, but nothing more. Once the festival was over and she didn’t have one of Lily’s lists to get her through the day, she wasn’t sure what she was going to do.

  She’d burn that bridge when she came to it. Right now she had an eight-by-eleven piece of paper forcing one foot in front of the other. At the top: Make sure the buses were running or find buses to borrow.

  George seemed very sure whomever he’d asked to fix it was up to the job. She had called him last night and he said something about a part. . .blah, blah, blah. Elaine had carefully blocked any knowledge of cars from her memory, and she was quite pleased to discover that it did indeed sound like Greek. The only thing that sank in was that the person doing the repair had gotten the key to the bus garage and would be there finishing the job that afternoon. George was right: Someone was under the hood of the bus. “Hello,” she called.

  The man standing on the bumper straightened, banging his head into the edge of the hood. “Ow!” He grabbed his head and dropped off the bumper. “Mother–mother–mother.”

  “Oh my God, are you–” Elaine’s breath froze in her throat when she saw his face.

  “Hi, Elaine.”

  Clutching the list, she spun on her heel and ran for the door. Johnny caught her before she made it. “Let me go.” She flailed at him with her list. “Let me go. Let me go. Goddamn you, Johnny McMannus.” Her throat hurt like she’d been screaming, but she hadn’t raised her voice.

  “Elaine, please. You gotta calm down or somebody’s gonna notice.”

  “I don’t care if somebody notices.”

  “Yes, you do.” Johnny pressed his hand against the back of his head and held her arm with the other. “Just let me talk to you for a minute.”

  Her mouth said no, but her feet allowed her to be towed into the parts storage closet at the back of the garage. Her mouth was only putting up bravado anyway. There hadn’t been a request Johnny could have made in the past fifteen years that she wouldn’t have complied with. He closed and locked the door.

  “What are you doing here?” she hissed. His hair wasn’t as shaggy as she remembered, and it was a couple of shades lighter. Otherwise he looked exactly the same as he had all those years ago.

  “I had to come home to take care of my dad’s garage. I thought you knew I was here.”

  “No.” Elaine felt her face tightening into an ugly sob. “Why would anyone tell me? It’s not like you’re important to me.” Her voice squeaked.

  “I didn’t mean to surprise you.” He put out his hands like he meant to take her in his arms and then folded them instead.

  “Not a word. Not a word for fourteen years. I hope all your friends got a good laugh out of you leading me around by the nose.” Elaine dashed tears off her cheeks. She hated to cry, and she hated to be crying because of him more. “You were right. You told me you were bad news.”

  “Who had a good laugh?”

  “Your friends. I saw the looks they were givi
ng me after you left. The Fitzroy boys and Bill Nagy and George Kline. Did you tell them all about how you convinced me not to tell anyone for my own protection and how I would do anything you wanted? How I let you do anything you wanted?”

  “Whoa, where did you dream this up? Do you honestly think George could have kept his mouth shut all these years if I had told him? He’s George.”

  Elaine hesitated. George did have the softest heart in town. If he had known Johnny dumped her and left town, he would have asked her out just to make her feel better. By now he probably would have married her, trying to fix her broken heart. She should have figured that out on her own. “Well, maybe not George, but the others. They were all giving me looks after you left. Snickering behind their hands.”

  “You imagined it.” Johnny looked like she’d taken a gouge out of his chest. “Elaine, I swear to you that I never told a soul.”

  “Then why were they giving me looks?”

  “Were you acting like this? I’d have been giving you looks too.”

  “You bastard.” She grabbed the door handle and started wrestling with the wobbly knob. Johnny put his hands on her arms but backed away when she jerked around. “Don’t touch me.”

  “Sorry. Out of line. I know you don’t like that anymore. My fault. But will you just listen to me? I never told anyone about us. I left town because I was afraid of hurting you. I couldn’t think of any other way to fix things.”

  “Well, let me say I hope you’re better at fixing buses.” Elaine wiped her face and discovered that the list was a crumpled mess. Lily liked felt tip pens and some of the items had smeared. “Fan-fucking-tastic. Look at this.”

  Johnny flinched and she realized she had just used his favorite curse.

  “Well, I did learn something from you,” Elaine snapped. “Aren’t you proud?”

  “I’m not going to stand here and apologize over and over again. I should never have gotten involved with you. You were only sixteen, and I should have kept my hands to myself. Hate me all you like. I just don’t want you to ruin it now.”