Help Our Heroes: A Military Charity Anthology

by T. L. Wainwright

I watch as William pours Jay a generous glass of whiskey, but I decline when he offers it to me. Instead, I say goodnight to them all and head to my room. Jay watches me leave and I know he’s desperate to follow me, but it’s best we’re separated right now.

  Chapter Six

  I stand under the spray of the shower for the longest time as I think about Jay and our time together. I still can’t quite figure out why it all feels so natural. It’s like I’ve known him my entire life. Everything’s so easy and relaxed when we’re together, and I can’t help thinking I’m starting to enjoy it a little too much.

  I think again about how fast the last few days have gone, and try not to focus on how quickly the rest of our time together is going to pass, because that leads me to the question of what next? What comes after our little road trip? Does he go back to army life, wherever that may be, and do I go back to trying to save an inevitably doomed business just because it’s Mum’s and I can’t bear to see her lose her dream?

  I’m in a bit of a sombre mood when I get out and start getting ready for bed. I pull the other cami and short set I brought with me from the bottom of my case, but at the last minute, I shove it back in favour of Jay’s shirt. The desire to be encased in his smell all night again is too much to deny. I give my hair a blast with the dryer before jumping into bed. I’m exhausted after everything, and surprisingly, I find myself dozing off to sleep much quicker than most nights.

  When I wake up, it’s pitch black in my room. I expect there to be a noise as I feel like something woke me, but as I lie there, everything’s silent. I’m just falling back to sleep when I hear something, and I instantly know exactly what—or should I say who—it is. I’ve no idea how I know, but my body seems to be aware whenever he’s close. Seconds later, I feel the bed dip and his lips brush mine. It’s gentle at first. I guess he has no idea if I’m awake, but as soon as I respond to him, he turns it into something else entirely. It’s like he’s trying to consume me, and as my hunger for him reignites, my actions match his need.

  I free my arms from the duvet and run my nails down his back as he continues to kiss me. He doesn’t part our lips even as he pulls the duvet away from my body so he can begin running his hands over my skin.

  Eventually, he breaks our kiss, but his lips stay connected to me. He kisses and sucks a trail down my neck and across both of my collarbones. His hands come up to the top of his shirt and as his kisses descend, I feel him undo each button. Once my breasts are free, he runs his tongue over each one before flicking my nipples and sucking them into his mouth. He starts off gentle but it’s not long before he’s sucking harder and harder, making my back arch off the bed with the need for more. I hear myself moan and whimper as he continues to torture my body with just his mouth. Tension builds in my lower belly just like before, only he hasn’t touched me down there, but fuck if I don’t need him to.

  It seems like forever but eventually I feel him start to move down my ribs before kissing around my belly button. My muscles clench as I think about where he might be going. I’m panting and squirming with need, and the image I’m conjuring up in my head of him between my legs only makes it worse.

  I hold my breath when I feel his fingers wrap around the fabric at my hips before they slowly descend, and just like in the dream that’s still haunting me, he starts kissing up the inside of my legs. Tingles shoot around my body every time he makes contact, and they only get stronger the higher up he gets. I should be embarrassed; he’s inches away from my most intimate part and I don’t know if it’s the effect he has on me, or the fact I know he can’t see anything, but I don’t care. If anything, I want him closer. I want to know what it feels like to have his mouth on me.

  I don’t have to wonder for long, because seconds later, I feel the heat of his mouth against me before the sensation of his tongue licking me makes me melt into the bed.

  Oh fuck, that’s good.

  I grab onto the sheet below me as he continues. I whimper, moan and writhe beneath him so much he has to put his arm across my hips to keep me still.

  My hands let go of the sheet in favour of grabbing his head; unfortunately, his shaved hair is too short for me to thread my fingers through, although I’ve no idea if I’d want to pull him closer or push him away.

  He changes his angle slightly and sucks hard on my clit as I feel his finger begin circling my entrance.

  Oh shit, oh shit. A small voice in my head tells me to I need to be quiet, to at least try to be respectful of where we are, and as my orgasm crashes into me, I have to fight to not let go and scream out in pleasure.

  Jay continues sucking until my body stops pulsing and I somewhat come back to myself.

  Holy shit, that was incredible.

  I expect him to do something else, or at the very least climb back up to kiss me, so I’m shocked when I just about see him wipe his mouth with the back of his hand before he gets up and walks out, almost as silently as he came in.

  What the fuck?

  I lay totally still and bare for a long time after he’s disappeared. I know for a fact that wasn’t a dream, but why did he just leave like that? There could’ve been more, I could have…

  I eventually move when my previously hot and sweaty body starts to chill. I get myself back in the shower before powering up my laptop and getting some work done. I know my body and I know I’m not going to be sleeping now, so I may as well do something useful.

  I lose track of time and end up late for breakfast; I’m surprised Jay didn’t knock to make sure I was up. I’m even more surprised when, after getting no response when I knocked for him, I find only Mary and William sat in the dining room.

  “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

  Flashbacks play out in my mind and I have to clench my thighs together. “Yes, thank you,” I reply politely, even though it’s far from the truth. “Have you seen Jay?”

  “No, not yet, dear. Is there a problem?”

  I shake my head and sit down as Mary pours me a coffee.

  I manage a little bit of the breakfast but I’ve got this feeling in my gut that something’s very wrong, so eating is the last thing on my mind. After a while, I excuse myself and head back to my room. I knock on Jay’s door. I know it’s stupid because we’d have seen him come in, but I feel the need to try.

  After packing all my stuff, I sit myself down on the edge of my bed and try not to worry. I’m sure he’s just gone for a drive and lost track of time or something.

  We had planned to move on today, but as the time starts to get closer to lunch, I decide that I’ll probably be sleeping in here again tonight and it stops me packing my last few bits. I look down at my phone and remember his warning from when we first met, this is only a two week thing, no promise of a future or swapping phone numbers. My heart drops knowing that our time together is slowing coming to an end.

  I’m just powering up my laptop in the hope of finding a way to get home when I hear a car engine outside. I lean across the bed and pull the net curtain back to reveal what I hoped I would see. Jay’s Peugeot has pulled up in the space we’ve taken over the past few days. He’s in the driver’s seat but the scene isn’t what I was expecting because he’s leant forward with his forehead resting on the steering wheel. I may not know that much about him, but the last few days have given me the impression that what I’m seeing isn’t normal, that he doesn’t get down very often.

  After a few more seconds, I allow the curtain to fall back into place so Jay can have his moment in peace, whatever it is.

  Footsteps echo down the empty hallway and the second I hear his door open, I do the same. He must hear me but he doesn’t react. I just about manage to get my foot in his door before it slams in my face.

  “Jay?”

  He walks over to the window but doesn’t turn around or acknowledge me in any way.

  “Jay, what—” I don’t get to finish my question because he turns and looks over his shoulder. His eyes are dark and tired and there’s a deep line betw
een his eyebrows. He looks stressed. “What’s wrong?” I finally ask when I’m able to find my words.

  Jay continues staring at me as if he wants to say something important, but no words leave his mouth.

  “It’s—” he pauses and takes a breath, but in the end he just shakes his head and says, “nothing.”

  “You can tell me. Maybe I can help.”

  “No,” he snaps harshly, but one look at my shocked face has him apologising for his abruptness almost instantly. “It’s not something you can help with, Skittles.”

  “Okay. I could listen at least, be a sympathetic ear,” I offer.

  “It’s fine. Honestly,” he adds when he sees I’m not falling for his blatant lie. “Anyway, what are we doing today?”

  I sit on Jay’s bed whilst he gets himself ready. It didn’t escape my notice that he was wearing the same clothes as last night. When we emerge a while later, we bump into Mary in the hallway, who insists on making Jay something to eat as he missed breakfast. I can see that he wants to get away but the lure of her home cooked food is too much.

  “You can drive,” Jay says, handing me the keys to his baby as we walk towards where she’s parked.

  “Uh…”

  “You can drive, right?”

  “No.”

  “No,” he repeats, like it’s the craziest thing he’s ever heard. “How?”

  “It’s not that I don’t want to, I’ve just never got around to it. Public transport’s pretty good in Bristol and there’s no parking at uni.” The way Jay’s face screws up as I say the words public transport makes me laugh.

  “How about some driving lessons?”

  “Here? Are you serious?”

  “Why not? Once we get out of town, the roads will be practically empty. It’s perfect.”

  “But they’re all windy,” I say in a panic. I don’t want to be responsible for wrecking his beloved Peggy.

  “You’ll be fine, trust me.”

  I stare at him for a few seconds as I wait for him to tell me he’s joking, but his eyes don’t waver, so eventually I grab the keys he’s still holding out and unlock the car.

  My nerves treble once I’m sat in the driver’s seat. My palms are sweating and my feet are shaking.

  “I’m not sure this is a good idea,” I admit, looking over at a tired Jay who’s getting comfortable in the passenger seat.

  “You’ll be fine.”

  He talks me through the basics, most of which I already know. I may not have had any lessons but I’m not a total idiot.

  “Okay, gently ease off the clutch as you press down on the accelerator.”

  I do as I’m told and in seconds, the car begins to move. My heart bangs in my chest as we slowly start to back out of the space.

  Once we get on to the country roads, I relax a little, but only slightly because although there’s less chance of me hitting another car, there’s a pretty high chance we could end up rolling down a cliff if I were to come off the road.

  “See, I told you you’d be fine. You’re a natural,” Jay says with a beaming smile.

  His praise makes my confidence grow and I press the accelerator a little harder. He may be egging me on but it hasn’t meant I’ve missed his whole body tense up a time of two at his lack of control.

  I’m buzzing by the time I pull into an almost empty car park in Inverness town centre.

  “Did you enjoy that?” Jay asks with a smile on his face. I’m relieved to see he’s lost the sad, stressed look from an hour or so ago.

  “Yeah, I really did. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  After getting a coffee, we wander off through town, looking in shop windows.

  “Have you been here before?” I ask, when I get the feeling Jay knows where he’s going.

  “No.” He’s got a twinkle in his eye that makes me question his answer but I leave it there.

  Once we’re happy we’ve soaked up enough of the town centre, we hop back in the car—Jay driving once again—and we head out to the couple of spots Mary and William suggested we visit.

  We arrive at Brodie Castle just as the sun’s beginning to descend for the day, and it’s beautiful. After walking around the grounds, I drag Jay inside. He looks bored as hell, but I love all the old furniture and patterns. As we walk, I sneak a few pictures for inspiration for some vintage style jewellery.

  We have the most amazing day together. His mood when he returned this morning has vanished and he’s been back to the Jay I’ve known the last few days.

  “Aren’t we heading back for dinner?”

  “Nope. I told Mary I was taking you out tonight.”

  I look down at my ratty jeans and scuffed boots. “I’m not dressed for dinner. I look a mess.”

  Jay turns to look at me briefly, his eyes run over my face. “You look perfect,” he whispers before turning his focus back to the road.

  The compliment warms my body and ignites something inside me only Jay’s been able to. I squirm in my seat as memories of my midnight visitor assault me.

  “I’m sorry about last night,” Jay says so quietly I almost think I mishear him. “I shouldn’t have pounced on you like that.”

  “It was fine.”

  His eyes come back to me. “It was fine?”

  I can’t help but laugh at the look on his face. “Yep.”

  Turning away from him to look at the countryside beside me, I smile to myself. It was a lot more than fine.

  “What’s this place? It looks fancy.” I say as we stand in the entrance to what I thought at first was a church is actually a restaurant.

  “The Mustard Seed,” Jay says, reading the sign in front of us. “It’s meant to be incredible.”

  “I love this building, it’s stunning. I’d love to live in a converted church or something one day. I love all the history.”

  Jay smiles at me, although he looks to be miles away; it’s a reminder of this morning and whatever it was to cause such a serious reaction from him. I’m just about to question him when we’re shown to our seats.

  The food’s incredible but it’s slightly overshadowed by Jay’s mood. I can tell he’s trying to push through whatever it is that’s bothering him. I wish he’d talk to me, even if it’s so I can be a listening ear, but I can tell it’s not going to happen. If I’ve learnt anything about Jayden Baxter over the past week, it’s that he’s stubborn and always gets what he wants.

  The kiss he gives me before we part into our separate rooms causes even my toes to tingle. I desperately want to drag him inside with me and try to take is mind off his worries, but I do what I should and wish him goodnight before shutting my door behind me.

  I don’t get a midnight visitor. I don’t hear anything from him at all, so when I wake up the next morning, the first thing I do is pull back the net curtain to make sure he’s still here. I let out a huge breath when I see Peggy sat where he parked her last night. It’s not lost on me how gutted I would’ve been if he’d gone in the middle of the night. I both love and hate the way he seems to have crawled inside me, but at the same time, our impending separation is never far from my mind. I can wish this trip’s going to last forever as much as I want, but I know that’s impossible. Real life is just a few days away now, waiting to throw god only knows what at me.

  I reluctantly pull my phone out from under my pillow and open up the messages from Mum I ignored last night. I reply with similar words of encouragement I usually say when she tells me how quiet the shop is, but the words are all fake, my enthusiasm that things are going to turn around holding no weight. The only way to save her beloved shop is to make some major changes I don’t think she’s ever going to agree to.

  I drop my phone onto my chest and think about what we should be doing—looking for different premises, streamlining our products, online shopping and marketing.

  When I pick my phone back up, I notice I have another message. I click on the icon and Frankie’s name appears. I open it and then regret it instan
tly. It’s a photo of her and Dean, obviously naked in bed, and the caption says ‘me and my sexy solider’. As I stare at Dean’s face, I swear I see a little glint in his eye. Cheeky little shit. Frankie’s going to skin him alive when she finds out.

  I fire back a message telling her how happy I am that she’s enjoying herself before getting up and showered. We’d agreed we’d move on today and I’m excited about our next destination—Edinburgh. It looks like the most stunning city and I can’t wait to discover it with Jay.

  After a quick breakfast we say our goodbyes to Mary and William and head off, hoping to get into the city before lunchtime. As it’s Sunday, the roads are fairly quiet and the drive’s straightforward.

  As the scenery starts to change from countryside to city, butterflies start up in my belly. This is somewhere I’ve wanted to visit for a long time and I’m more than ready for the adventure to start.

  We park at one of the hotels I found on the drive here and secure a room for the night, although we can’t check in until later.

  “What do you want to do?” Jay asks as we walk out of reception. The hotel’s in a central location to almost everything, which is why I chose it, and I know exactly what I want to do.

  “Just walk. I want to see everything, I want to feel the city, soak up the vibe.”

  Jay’s eyes sparkle at my response. I know he’s trying to contain a laugh at my over-excitement about being here. “You’re so cute, Skittles,” he comments before kissing the end of my nose. The smile he gives me as he pulls away lights up his face. Thankfully, when I met him for breakfast this morning, he was more like his old self again; there was no sign of yesterday’s stress.

  “How long can we stay here?” I ask. I hate to bring up anything that involves our ever-ticking clock, but I need to know how much I can squeeze in.

  I watch his gorgeous face as he has the same realisation. We’re into our second week and our time is running out. Fast.

  “Two days,” he answers after a few seconds. “I’d love to give you longer but we really need to start heading south.”