Help Our Heroes: A Military Charity Anthology

by T. L. Wainwright

  I don’t have to though. When I turn onto the street, I see both of my parents in the backyard. I decide to park in their driveway and just walk over to the Fitzgerald’s so they can all pull in their own driveway when they come home. My daddy hears the car engine and pops his head over the iron gate to see who it is. I wave as I get out. He says, “Hey, sweet pea. What are you doing here? Momma didn’t mention you were coming by.”

  I laugh and shake my head... “Because I’m not here to see y’all.” His brows crease and I laugh as I walk over to give him a kiss. Leaning back, I point over my shoulder. “I’m actually heading to the Fitzgerald’s. Luka is there alone since Mr. and Mrs. Fitzgerald are helping Laeten pack up his place in New Orleans and Leila thinks she may have the flu so she doesn’t want to risk getting him sick. She called me and I said I’d come over to keep him company.”

  Momma appears beside Daddy and she watches me with a knowing look. “I see. Weren’t you supposed to be with Clive today?”

  My cheeks heat and I nod. “Yeah, but Luka is not adjusting well and I’m not sure he needs to be alone right now.” I cough. “Clive understood.”

  Momma nods and Daddy says, “Yeah, Frank walked over this morning when he was getting the paper. I asked how Luka was doing and he said it wasn’t exactly smooth sailing.”

  I immediately defend him. “He’s been through a lot. And his life is nothing like he expected. He’s doing the best he can right now. He’ll get better…”

  Daddy holds his hands up from my harsh tone. “I know that, sweet pea. Go on over there. But just call us if you need something. We’re right here and Luka was here so often as a youngster, I feel like he’s my kid. I want him to get better, too.” I blush again. I cannot believe I snapped at my daddy. “He’ll get back to being a hellion who breaks rules, bones, and hearts soon enough. Just going to take a little time to wrap that stubborn head of his around the changes. But, he will…He’s too damn mule headed not to.”

  Leaning in, I kiss his cheek again. “I think so, too. Ok, I better get over there. Love y’all! I’ll stop back by before I head home.”

  They call out, “Love you,” and watch as I run across the street, like I did so many times as a child.

  I wave as I reach the front door and knock. He doesn’t answer, but I’m not surprised. I don’t know how well he can navigate the house in his wheelchair. Leila said he’s still refusing to use his crutches. I try the handle and find it stuck. Leaning down, I grab the Hide-A-Key, from the spot it’s been in forever, and open the door. Turning, I again wave at my still watching parents. They wave back.

  Shutting the door, I softly call out, “Luka? Luka, are you awake?”

  There’s no answer.

  Setting the Hide-A-Key, my keys, and my purse on the foyer table, I call out again. “Luka? Where are you?” I don’t want to spook him.

  Since he still doesn’t answer me, I check the living room, only to find it empty so I head down the hall to the dining room, now serving as his bedroom. I softly call out the entire way “Luka? Luka, I’m coming down here…”

  I can hear music. It’s coming from his room. It’s a booming rock song and that’s all I can make out. It sounds angry.

  As I reach the door, I take a deep breath. I am not certain he’s going to be happy to see me. Knocking as loud as I can, I call his name again, “Luka!”

  He doesn’t hear me over the music, or he’s ignoring me. Slowly, I open the door and call his name again.

  Still no response.

  Well, shit!

  Pushing it open the rest of the way, I peek into the room. The bed is unmade and looks like he’s not sleeping well, judging from the way the comforter and sheets are tangled in knots and falling to the floor. His wheelchair is next to it, but he’s not in it. A dresser is against the wall with the window that I know overlooks the backyard. Heavy black curtains are over it now. They’re tightly closed but rays of light are still peeking through in places, accentuating dust bunnies flying in the air. The music is loud, really loud, but I can hear the clank of metal and my eyes follow the sound.

  I gasp as my eyes fly over Luka’s exposed skin. His beard has glimmers of sweat in it and they drip onto the brown skin and taunt muscle of his shoulders and chest. He has raised pink scars from burns on both arms and a section of his lower abdomen on the right side. There’s also a white scar on the left side of his chest, centered between his ribs that I know to be from a chest tube. My eyes follow the washboard abs that the scars do nothing to diminish, and see his hips covered in low riding athletic shorts. They’ve raised up over his thighs, both of which are bumpy with burn scars. My eyes transfix on the most notable change… his leg, or rather his lack of a leg under his right thigh. I can see the scar from the amputation and it looks like a clean incision. Whomever did the surgery did a good job at minimizing the scarring. The stub is pink and white from the new skin and the healing.

  I’m so focused on staring at him and realizing the extent of his injuries, and that it doesn’t detract from his beauty, I don’t realize he’s noticed I’m standing there.

  The music suddenly stops and I jump in the blinding quiet as I raise my eyes to see that I’m caught.

  Luka’s green eyes are blazing and his mouth is tight as his nostrils flare. His anger is extremely obvious.

  His breath hisses from between his teeth before he growls, “What the fuck are you doing here, Rea? Come to see the extent of my injuries?” His hands harshly gesture down his body. “Well, here you go. Grotesque, isn’t it?!”

  Luka

  The sound of a gasp broke through the fury of my workout and I dropped my weights as I turned to see who dared to brave my wrath.

  Shock coursed through me as I saw Rea standing there, staring at me with her mouth open. Her eyes followed every line, sinew, and scar of my body. I felt her gaze as if she was touching me.

  My body reacted.

  Stop it! She’s not looking at you like that because she wants you, you fucking idiot.

  No woman will ever look at you like that again. Why would they?!

  It’s been so long since any woman has looked at my naked flesh without being a nurse, doctor, surgeon, or therapist of some kind… am I really getting aroused because Rea is looking at me?!

  Besides, dumbass, Rea IS a nurse. She’s probably just assessing my injuries with a professional eye.

  Stop it! Stop looking at me, Rea. I don’t want you to see me like this.

  Stop it!

  Reaching for the remote to the stereo, I push the button to mute the music. As they room is silenced, she gasps and her eyes fly to meet mine. Her tongue dips out to wet her lips and my body responds again.

  Her eyes widen as she sees my face. Rage courses through me, both at myself for having a sexual reaction to Rea looking at me and at her for being here, in my space, seeing me in a way I don’t want to be seen. My jaw clenches and I snap at her. “What the fuck are you doing here, Rea? Come to see the extent of my injuries?” I flail my hands and encompass my body. “Well, here you go. Grotesque, isn’t it?!”

  My breathing is harsh with my ire.

  I don’t want anyone I care about to see me like this. I can’t handle the disgust… or pity that will show on their faces. It’s bad enough that I see how sorry for me my dad is every night, as he helps me into and out of the shower.

  Rea’s eyes widen farther and her hand reaches for her throat. She stares at me in shock before her eyes harden to blue ice. She glares and I can see the anger in them. “Are you kidding me, Luka? I’m here because I didn’t want you to be all alone. I’m here in case you need me. I’m here because I care about you, you freaking rude asshole!” My own eyes widen with shock as her voice rises.

  She just called me an asshole…

  Rea never cusses. She never has. My siblings have called me an asshole my whole life, but Rea never has. Not once. Not even when I deserved it.

  Until now… and I know I deserve it.

  I don’
t say anything and then I sigh. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I snapped at you. I just didn’t know anyone was here and well… I don’t exactly want you to see me like this, Rea.”

  Her head cocks to the side and she stares at me some more. Finally she says, “You know I’m a nurse, Luka.”

  Of course. I knew it. She’s looking at me as a nurse… not as a man.

  Because you disgust her. Your scars disgust her…

  She gestures to me, encompassing my body, but her eyes stay locked on mine. “Do you know how many of my patients are injured while serving? Or even after? There is nothing here that I haven’t seen before.”

  Yet, you can’t even look at me. Yeah, ok.

  My anger flares again. “Well thanks so much, but I don’t need a fucking babysitter. Go home… or better, yet, go to your boyfriend.

  “I don’t care who else you’ve seen, I don’t want you seeing me. I don’t want you bothering me. I don’t need you here. So go on, go on. Go off with Doctor Perfect and leave me the fuck alone.”

  Every time I mention her boyfriend or I think about her and her boyfriend or I think about her at all, I get angry.

  Why am I so damn angry?

  I’ve always been around Rea. She’s always been a good friend to me, so why don’t I want her here now?

  “Go away, Rea. Leave me the hell alone!”

  Her eyes snap and she points at me. “You know what? I should leave! I should walk out of here and leave you to your misery. I had plans with Clive today! I had plans that I canceled because I decided to come here and spend some time with you.” She’s crossing the room in her tirade. “And you know what else? He is perfect. He treats me amazing. He makes time for me. He wants to include me in things that are important to him. I canceled going to a huge family function with him to come here. And for what?! To be yelled at by you.” She yells at me. “He is perfect. He’s absolutely the stuff that dreams are made of and I should be there with him!”

  She’s right in front of me. Her eyes are blue fire, her cheeks are flushed with anger, and she’s absolutely beautiful.

  God, she’s so beautiful. She’s so beautiful and you’re screaming at her.

  My hands reach out and catch her arms. Her eyes widen and she gasps. My voice is husky as I pull her closer to me. “So if he’s so fucking perfect, Rea, why are you here right now? With me?”

  Emotions I can’t read are racing over her face and through her eyes. I know what I want them to be. I know what I want the reason to be as to why she’s here and not there.

  But, I have no right to want that.

  Rea is a friend. She’s one of my best friends. And she has a boyfriend.

  I know that. I’ve seen it. I’ve heard about how amazing and perfect he is.

  But he’s not good enough for her… he’s not.

  She’s always been important to me, but right this instant, I’m realizing just how important.

  Chapter Ten

  Rea

  Is it hot in here? Does Luka have the heat up?

  Why the hell is it so hot?

  What does he mean if Clive is so perfect, why am I here and not there?

  Why AM I here and not there!?

  Oh, you know why and it seems as if Luka knows, too.

  But, so what? Nothing is any different now that it’s ever been. Ever.

  Well, a lot of things are different…

  Oh, God.

  Luka’s hands are wrapped around my wrists and shock waves are shooting up my arms like lightning bolts. His rough thumbs are stroking the skin over my veins. I know he can feel my heartbeat. My entire body feels… electric. I need to answer him, to set him straight.

  Set him straight on what exactly? The fact that his touch is making me crazy. Or that I’ve loved him my entire life and my brain has decided that now is the time it decides to short circuit. Better yet, how about I just don’t tell him a damn thing and I straddle him and kiss him like I’ve longed to do for over twenty years.

  You can’t DO that, Rea!

  He’s right. You DO have a boyfriend.

  Shit! I still have a boyfriend.

  A boyfriend who is a wonderful man and deserves someone much better than me.

  Oh my God.

  Swallowing, I stare at Luka. My eyes are wide and I know that he can see the emotions racing through them. There’s no telling what he’s thinking. His voice is husky as he asks again, “Why are you here, Rea?”

  I can’t tell him. I can’t.

  Sighing, I gently pull on my wrists. Luka doesn’t release them. “I’m here because I care about you. You already know that. I’ve always cared about you, Luka. I’m here because you’re dealing with some major stuff and you need people around you who care.” He stiffens and I see something happen in his eyes. It’s as if I see a wall descend. “Luka…”

  He flings my wrist and it’s so unexpected, I stumble. His voice is harsh. “I’m fine. You can go.”

  My foot bumps into something behind me and I yell out as I trip. I’m falling. My hands reach behind me, but there’s nothing there to break my fall. I bounce as my rear hits the floor and I howl as I look around to see what the hell I tripped over.

  A crutch?!

  My eyes fly to Luka’s.

  He’s using his crutches. I should have known that. The wheelchair is by the bed… across the room. How would he have gotten here without using it?!

  His face is full of alarm as he stares down at me. “Oh, shit! Rea! Are you ok? Shit! I’m so sorry.” Moving quickly, he tries out of instinct, to stand. I see the moment he realizes he can’t… not without the crutch.

  I reach out with my hand and try to scramble to my knees to catch him. “Luka, dammit! Oh shit!”

  He’s going down and there’s nothing I can do about it.

  Neither of us is fast enough and he falls… Luckily, I’m able to roll enough so that he doesn’t fall onto the floor.

  He’s able to keep most of his weight off me, but his body is still pressed against mine. His wrists absorb the impact that my body beneath him can’t. His hands are planted on either side of my head and my arms are wrapped around his waist.

  Well, I tried my best to catch him.

  It worked, Rea…

  Only now the adrenaline and panic are fading and raw awareness is taking over. Luka’s skin is slightly sweaty and warm beneath the skin of my arms and under my palms. His chest and abdomen are pressed against mine and my body is so hot from the contact, I fear I’m going to spontaneously combust. I’m already breathless from exerting myself to catch him, then his body hit mine… Only now my lungs are incapable of inflating because I’ve forgotten the basics of breathing. I freeze.

  My eyes are locked on his face. They travel over the perfect plains and angles. I can see the individual beads of sweat on his face. My eyes lift to his and I freeze further. His green eyes are blazing with awareness. I’m as certain as I’ve ever been that his are reading the exact same emotion in mine.

  I exhale shakily and feel him shiver against me as my breath moves in his beard. His eyes bore into mine and though I can clearly decipher what’s about to happen, I do nothing to prevent it.

  I don’t want to prevent it.

  His head lowers and my own raises. He breathes and the warmth of his breath sends shiver down my spine and tingles across my lips. He groans, “Rea…”

  Do it… don’t think… Don’t do anything… But this…

  Do it…

  My head raises and my hands flatten on the small of his back. He growls and swoops in to capture my lips. His beard is slightly scratchy against my face but his lips are soft, and warm. They nibble at my lower lip before he brushes his against mine slowly, concentrating on touching every section. I gasp and he pauses for just a second before his tongue slips between my parted lips. My own darts out and tentatively touches his.

  Whatever force inside of us that was keeping us calm and controlled is vanquished at that first touch of tongue to tongue. My hands leave the
small of his back to travel over every inch of skin I can touch and pull him tighter into me as my mouth opens and my head angles, allowing him to deepen the kiss. He growls into my mouth and I respond by sucking on his tongue and kneading his shoulders. He moans again and presses his hips into mine.

  I can vividly feel the length of his erection as he moves against me in rhythm with the dance of our tongues. My thighs part, allowing him to settle more fully against my screaming core.

  Oh, God… This is amazing. This is everything I’ve ever wanted and so much more.

  Luka slowly pulls back. He sucks my lip into his mouth. The blood pulses there. Just when it’s almost painful, he releases it and gently presses a soft kiss against them.

  My fingers are digging into his back as I moan, “Oh, Luka…”

  His mouth leaves mine. He presses wet, open mouthed kisses to my chin and then my neck. The straps of the thin tank top I’m wearing and my light cardigan are pushed to the side as his mouth trails over my shoulder and then back to my neck.

  I feel him shaking above me and he lifts his head to look down at me. “You’re so beautiful, Rea… so fucking beautiful.”

  My hand tightens on his back again before slowly traveling over his shoulder and cupping his bearded cheek. “I’m the same as I’ve always been, Luka.”

  He shakes his head. “I know that and I also know that I’m a fucking idiot for refusing to acknowledge it before now.” Leaning down, he kisses me again. My lips cling to his and then crushing guilt crashes over me. I stiffen beneath him and my head falls back, breaking the kiss, and to the floor to look up at him.

  I can’t do this… not like this.

  I’m not this woman.

  I can’t be here like this with Luka until I’m honest with Clive. He deserves that much.

  “Luka, you have to get off me. We can’t… we can’t do this.” He freezes above me. His eyes travel over my flushed face and heaving chest before settling back on my face. I feel the burn of desire and shame on my face so I know he can see it. The harshness returns to his face.

  He quickly rolls off me. I watch him as he flops on the floor on his back with his chest heaving. Throwing his arm over his head, he says without looking at me, “You’re right. We can’t. You’re disgusted and you feel sorry for me. I already knew that. So, thanks for the pity foreplay. I think you need to leave now.”