Help Our Heroes: A Military Charity Anthology

by T. L. Wainwright

  “Tough shit,” Lochlan tells me before he turns and pours himself a cup of coffee.

  “Tough…tough shit? What the hell? Get out. Now, dammit,” I snap and smack him on the back of his head.

  Yeah, I grew up with a twin brother who was about the same size as Lochlan. And I’ve known this guy from my teenage years. No way I’m scared. And even more? I know how to handle myself in a fight. Well…I can put up a good fight, let’s stick to that.

  “No, Ivy. I said we need to talk. I’m here because Chopper gave me the task of keeping an eye on you. The way he gave me a warning that was about twenty minutes long, clearly stated you’re the one for him. You know why?” Lochlan steps closer and his face hardens. “Ever since his medical discharge he’s been moving along on autopilot. Broken Deeds MC is somewhat of a safe zone where we watch out for each other, and yet, he’s never spoken about something so fierce as he did this morning. Or at the hospital for that matter. You matter. That little fact alone is a huge change. A long time ago he had some interest in a girl but that wasn’t real. None of it. He just gave a little chase to piss someone off and I could see right through it. But you on the other hand…he mentioned that he would castrate me three times and one way was shoving my balls through my ass and out of my mouth. And that was just about getting in your personal space. He made more threats and some visual aspects of what would happen if I touched you.”

  The man chuckles while none of this is funny. “Okay, this might be all funny and special for you, but he left. Just jumped out of my bed and hauled his buddy over here to save face, so he didn’t have to talk or be here with me. Yeah…like I said…get out.”

  His gaze is still locked on mine when he pulls his phone out of his pocket, taps it and pushes it against his ear. “What would happen if she would put her hands on me?”

  Holy crap, I can hear Chopper curse his friend off the face of the Earth from way over here.

  “I mean, what would happen if she pushes me out her fucking house, man…because you fucked up, like I explained to you two times. You left, man…shouldn’t have done that.” Lochlan holds up his phone and offers it to me.

  I glance around. Chopper’s bag is gone, just like the man himself. Good riddance. My lip curls up in disgust as I shake my head.

  The corner of Lochlan’s mouth twitches as he puts the phone back to his ear. “Nope, like I said…screwed up…right. No worries, I will.” He puts the phone back into his pocket and gives me a genuine smile. “Mind if I finish my coffee before I leave?”

  I shrug. “Whatever, just move so I can get a cup myself.”

  “Since when did you start drinking coffee? I remember a time when you would never even taste the stuff,” Lochlan says.

  I have to bite my lip because the memory of me telling him I didn’t drink coffee is still very vivid. He practically made it look as if I just confessed to the greatest crime ever.

  “A few years ago. A friend of mine, Nora, screwed up our drinks and instead of giving me an iced tea, I got her caramel macchiato iced coffee and it was amazing. I gently grew accustomed to drinking it until I turned into the addict I currently am. Happy?” I quip.

  “Very.” He beams.

  I can’t help but smack his pecs. “Shut it. Oh, this tastes amazing. You can come over and make coffee anytime.” I give him a wink and take another sip of my coffee.

  Geez, I didn’t realize how much I missed casual conversation in my home. I don’t have any guy friends and this makes me miss my brother even more.

  Lochlan steps closer. “Just for coffee, or maybe something more?”

  Is he hitting on me? “Clearly, no more coffee for you. Feel free to leave now.” I shake my head and step away. “Weirdo,” I mutter. “Here for his buddy…talks in his defense and tries to get into my panties like it’s freaking normal.”

  I grip the doorknob and swing it open. “Out you go, asshole. Be sure to never return and keep that idiot, so called friend of yours, away from me too.”

  “What the fuck did you do?” Chopper’s harsh words hit me by surprise, making me slam the door shut.

  Except he’s standing in the door opening so it bounces off his shoe, making it slam right into my face where my nose takes the brunt of it. Excruciating pain explodes and makes me grip my face with both hands.

  “Get the fuck out, the both of you!” I seethe while I peek through my fingers and head for the bathroom.

  I feel wetness trickling down my face and just know I’m bleeding. Fuckers. Yes, both of them. I’m supposed to have luxury time to myself. Relaxing vacation time with my feet up, watching Netflix, eating ice cream, and not having to deal with drama. Let alone guy drama I’ve never even faced in all my life.

  “Dammit!” I snap while I look at myself in the mirror. Blood rushing out, tears in my eyes, while I gently...well, not so freaking gently because I need to know it’s not broken, assess the damage.

  When I’m sure nothing is broken, I firmly pinch the soft part of my nose shut and stalk into the kitchen where I grab an icepack before I head back into the living room. I need to know for sure that these assholes have left. And no, they haven’t. They’re standing toe to toe right next to the couch. There’s some kind of silent discussion going on but I’m so freaking furious that I don’t care one bit that they are massive males with some serious muscle.

  “I said, out!” And dammit, is that my annoying, weird as hell voice coming from my mouth?

  They’re not moving. Not one single inch. Nope, they’re staring right at me. The both of them. Tears sting my eyes and before I make an even bigger fool out of myself, I turn to head for the bedroom. Locking myself up in there sounds pretty damn good to me.

  Chapter 11

  ***Chopper***

  “Hang on a minute.” I try to soften my tone but it comes out raw anyway. I throw an arm around her waist and drag her against me.

  She tried to retreat into her bedroom when she saw Lochlan and me still standing in her living room where she caught us in the middle of a stare down. Lochlan said a few words when Ivy rushed off toward the bathroom to take care of her nose and those words hit me just as hard as the door that slammed into Ivy’s face.

  I knew I fucked up the moment I got up and out of the comfort of her bed and arms. I just couldn’t handle it. Her. Me. This whole opening up thing. How can this wonderful, bright spirited woman take me into her home, her life, her fucking body? Comforting me when those haunting nightmares flare up again? The everlasting guilt and question of why Arthur and not me with the train of events that followed and impacted our lives and those around us.

  I mean…I’m doing okay until life kicks my feet out from under me again and brings it all back. I feel like an oil leak that’s spreading and covering her up so in the end it will suffocate the life right out of her.

  If I didn’t realize it a moment ago, I do now...I blew my shot with her because she doesn’t even fight me, but just sags and basically gives up. Fuck. My chest feels so tight I feel the need to claw it right open and let her in...but I can’t. I don’t know how. So instead I swoop her up in my arms and carry her to the bed.

  The way she slides into a fetal position when she hits the mattress makes me forget that I don’t date and don’t need a relationship, a damn ol’lady and sharing personal shit. Hell, she’s the most positive influence my life has stumbled across since it all went to shit. Yet here I am looking down to the sunshine that I’ve ripped the purity right out of. That’s on me.

  I feel the need to reach out but Ivy catches my wrist. “Don’t Chopper. Just leave, okay?”

  My eyes trail over the bracelet she’s wearing. The inscription states ‘Trust me, I’m the doctor’ and it makes me snort. Ivy takes the sound in a completely different interpretation and flashes up, her whole demeanor radiates anger.

  “Now just wait,” I tell her with my palms up. “I saw your bracelet, it just struck a nerve, that’s it.”

  Ivy glances down as if she needs to check what
bracelet she’s wearing. She turns her attention back to me and it’s clear she’s going to stand by her words.

  “I fucked up, I damn well know I did, but you didn’t give me a choice.” I rub my palm against my forehead. Fuck. That came out so wrong. “It’s not you, okay?”

  Ivy snorts. “It’s not you, it’s me. Oh, that’s a classic. Can we just not do this? I mean, we had sex, a first for me. I had no clue what to expect but I did assume you’d be here when I woke up and not sneak off like that. Clearly, I was wrong. Oh, and let’s not forget you planted a replacement in my kitchen who thought it was normal to see if he could get into my pants for some of your sloppy seconds. So yeah, it is you. Now leave.”

  Get into my pants…

  Lochlan. That motherfucker.

  I damn well know my brothers are allowed, and will, test an ol’lady that’s been claimed but doesn’t have her patch ink yet. But come the fuck on…I trusted him, if there’s one person on this earth that knows what I’ve been through and what I struggle with, it’s that guy.

  Pure and utter rage fills me and I spin on my heels. I hear Ivy curse behind me but it fades when I reach the living room where Lochlan is standing. He sees me coming and yet there’s only a fraction of time where he fails to react when my fist hits his jaw.

  He stumbles back and I get ready to kick his ass when there’s a touch as soft as a feather brushing my arm. A tiny dot starts to clear in my red haze when I glance back and lock with Ivy’s eyes that are filled with concern. For me. She tightens her delicate hands that are now gripping my biceps. “Don’t. It doesn’t matter, Chopper. I was throwing him out but you were in the way when I opened the door.” She takes a deep breath and steps back.

  Somehow, with the loss of her touch on my skin, coldness washes over me. As if I know I’ve fucked up again in this moment.

  “Listen. I’m tired and I don’t have much free time. I really would like for the both of you to leave.” Her voice is soft and there’s a hint of defeat and sadness in her words that hits me harder than the punch I threw in Lochlan’s face.

  She’s already holding the door open. Lochlan gives me a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and mutters low, “Come on, man. Regroup. Let’s give her some space to breathe, huh?”

  I don’t want to do that. I want to throw Lochlan out and crawl back into bed with Ivy. Not to seek the comfort of her sweet cunt but to revel in the calm she pours into my body with a mere touch. Why the hell did I leave her bed this morning? Dammit. Why can’t I just say the right things at the right time or make her see how things are?

  Fuck this world where there’s a constant need to communicate. And how the fuck can I, when everything is screwed up in my head or there’s a filter in place that alters the shit that enters and goes out of my brain? The process, the trust, the reality that there’s nothing out there so fucking screwed up as the human race.

  I mean, when you try to protect people, work with them to keep them safe…then they turn around and throw a grenade. Killing best friends. Hell, it could have very well been me standing there if it wasn’t for my medical discharge. Or hell, maybe I could have made a difference if I was there. Why him and not me?

  That’s what got me out of bed…because the incident that shattered my legs? Getting your air stolen? That was between me and Arthur. What if he would have been the one with his legs shattered? What if that would have given him the medical discharge…a fucked up ‘trade places’ my mind has been given me on a loop. The fucking reason I had to get out of bed and get some miles with the wind hitting my face.

  Yeah, that’s reality.

  Add that to the other long fucking list of haunting shit my mind allows me to process time and time again…how the fuck can a person open up ever again to another human being? The fact that I’m standing in front of her while her brother is in the ground. Does she know how in my mind me and her brother could have traded places? Would she want it to be the other way around?

  I’m struggling with these things and it’s eating me up. How can I pass that burden on to her, because in the end it doesn’t make one lick of difference. Because I’m here and he’s fucking not. How? Just…how? Tell me that and I might be able to take my next step forward in life and won’t doubt things will literally blow up in my face.

  Lochlan’s almost out the door when I spin on my heels and head for the bedroom. It’s a spur of the moment thing, I need to make some kind of statement; I’m taking the fake dicks and her vibrator. Her eyes are wide when I stroll past her with a smirk on my face.

  “Gimme that,” she snaps in a whisper. Probably to hide this incident from Lochlan who’s standing nearby.

  I shake my head. “No more dicks for you.”

  Fuck. My heartbeat picks up when I see her clenching her jaw. What a magnificent woman she is when she’s angry and provoked. Even with dried up blood on her face. Yet she stays in full control.

  “Keep ‘em.” She tries to shrug but the anger makes her body too tight, making it seem forced before she adds, “Shove them up that tight ass of yours. I’ll just use my fingers to get myself off.”

  I have to refrain myself from the fury that’s this time caused by jealousy. Of her own damn fingers might I add.

  “Alright you two, cooling off period starts now.” Lochlan grabs my cut and drags me out of her house but stops and addresses Ivy. “Just so you know, there will be a prospect standing guard. We need to check into this Tuck guy. Yeah?”

  I watch how she gives Lochlan a tight nod before her eyes find mine again. Damn if there’s longing and sadness swirling in her green eyes. Fuck. I’m such a damn asshole. Automatically I step forward, wanting to take her into my arms instead of the stash of fake dicks I’m holding but she slowly closes the door, making my whole being seem even emptier than I was before she walked back into my life.

  Chapter 12

  ***Ivy***

  It’s been over two weeks since Chopper was in this bed with me. That’s what’s going through my mind when my body crashes down. I’m so damn tired from my long shift that I can’t even find it in me to strip and shower. No. I just want to close my eyes and get at least six hours of nonstop sleep.

  But apparently my mind has other ideas. Like reminding me of the man I had in my bed. Every damn second of the day I’m somehow reminded of him. The way he made me feel…and the way he bruised those feelings the morning after. Yeah. Hello shower, I’m ready for you now. Crap. And I was in a bad mood already.

  Ever since that day that Chopper pointed out that Tuck was sitting right in front of my building, he’s been MIA. So we’re one doctor short. I’m also worried why he’s missing and if Chopper had anything to do with it.

  I could ask the guy across the street, because it seems I still have a stalker. Or is it considered a guard or something else when he’s sitting there for my protection? Dammit. See? I don’t need these worries after a long shift.

  My clothes hit the floor and I pick them up and throw them in the hamper. It doesn’t take long for the water to heat up and my whole body starts to relax while I’m surrounded by the warmth and comfort of the shower. For a person who didn’t even have the energy to take a shower, I take a long freaking time before I stroll back into my bedroom. A towel is wrapped around my torso while I have another one in my hands to dry my hair.

  I scream, like the girl I am, at the top of my lungs when I see Lochlan standing in my bedroom. “What the hell are you doing here?” The towel I was using to rub my head is now in front of me. Not that I needed it because I had all my good parts covered, but still. Wait… “How the hell did you get into my house?”

  He freaking shrugs and says, “I picked the lock, no biggie.”

  No biggie? “Get out! And why the hell are those the only two words I have on repeat when it comes to guys in my own home?”

  “Yeah, I have no answer to that one, Doc.” Lochlan gives me a sheepish smile. “And no need to double layer the towel. You’ve got no pussy or tits. You’re Chopper’s
ol’lady.”

  “Oh, cut it out with the tits and pussy statement. You already made a pass at me, remember?” I snap and stalk over to my closet to grab some sweatpants and a large sweater. I manage to put both on without flashing Lochlan and throw both towels in the bathroom.

  “I know, but that was just a test.” His face grows serious. “But that’s not why I’m here.”

  “No.” I step forward and poke him in the chest. “Hang on…what kind of test?”

  Lochlan glances down at my finger before he meets my eyes. “One where we get to test a claimed ol’lady for her loyalty toward her ol’man and the club. He’s laid a claim, you’re his ol’lady and that means you have to get inked with the patch within two weeks. If you don’t, then it shows you’re not fully committed, so we get to run tests to see where your loyalty lies. If you don’t get your ink within that time, you lose the right to pick the spot and we will make it happen.”

  My mind is reeling from the sound of the last word that falls out of his screwed-up head. “There’s no way that’s ever going to happen. You guys need to get the hell out of my life as easy as you stumbled into it.”

  “No can do. Well, maybe…let me ask you one question.” Lochlan pierces me with his gaze.

  “Lemme guess, another test?” I take a deep breath and shake my head. “Fine, get it over with. I’m tired and need sleep.”

  “If your answer is no, I’ll leave this room and take the fuckers who are waiting outside along with me.” The man tells me and makes me wonder who the hell is standing outside. The prospect who’s keeping an eye out for me?