Help Our Heroes: A Military Charity Anthology

by T. L. Wainwright

  “I’m fine, it’s just these others.” That was his stock reply all those years ago and it still made me giggle today.

  He points at my head which has a huge bandage wrapped around it. “It’s not the first time I’ve seen you looking like that,” he remarks. “Though I’d hoped you’d be taking more care of yourself in civvy street.”

  For some inexplicable reason tears gush down my face and the squidgy old guy holds me tight as I bawl my eyes out. Everything comes rushing to my mind at once and I’m overcome with emotion. The past, the present, — my whole future just flows through my befuddled brain as he sits on the bed, gently rocking me like a baby.

  It’s ages before I can make any coherent sound, and then I find I can’t stop talking. Everything pours out; how hard it was to cope when I left the Army, how I ended up on the streets — even the latest episode with those thugs and my fears about Kathy getting the wrong impression of me.

  “You’re very lucky,” he says when he can finally get a word in edgeways. “It looks like you’ve got a bright future ahead of you, what with the new job and somewhere to live.”

  I nod. I know he’s right. It meant the world to me this morning, but somehow it lost its shine when I heard Kathy scream. I want her to like me; to think I’m worth knowing. She was lovely last night and she really made me feel useful for once.

  “What if the vet thinks I’m just a thug? Joe won’t want to hire me then, will he? And Kathy won’t want to know me. I’ll be right back to where I started.” Fresh tears stream down my cheeks and I brush them away irritably.

  “Don’t you think you’re being a little unfair to judge them so harshly? After all, they haven’t done or said anything to make you think that’s the case, have they? Don’t you owe it to them to hear what they think before you jump to conclusions?” Father Donnelly has a soft lilt which gives his voice a gentle edge. He never sounds judgemental and talks such sense it makes you wonder why you didn’t think of that in the first place.

  “You’re right,” I concede.

  “Don’t sound so surprised.” He feigns indignance and we both chuckle.

  I sniff. “I’ll talk to them. Explain what happened.” The thought makes me feel better already. The padre always had this affect on me — on all of us. There wasn’t a man who knew him that didn’t love the bones of the old priest.

  The door opens and the Welsh nurse pops her head around it. I quickly wipe my face with my hands.

  “Sorry to interrupt. There’s a couple of people here from the vet’s to see you.” She’s smiling. I hope that’s an indication they brought good news. I couldn’t bear anything to happen to Muttbags.

  “I’ll leave you to it,” Father Donnelly says, standing slowly. “I’ll look in on you in the morning if that’s all right?”

  I nod eagerly. “Yes, please, Father.”

  He smiles kindly at me. “Try to get a good night’s sleep. You can face anything with a good rest behind you.”

  As soon as he leaves Kathy and Joe appear in the doorway. She looks pale but beautiful. I don’t know why I didn’t notice how gorgeous she was the first time I laid eyes on her.

  “How are you feeling?” She looks nervous as she slowly walks into the room.

  “I’m fine,” I assure her, tapping the bed in the hope she’ll take the padre’s place beside me. “How’s Muttbags?” I hold my breath.

  “He’s going to be fine,” Joe says calmly, as he takes the chair by the side of the bed. “He was in quite a bit of pain as they’d given him a good kicking, but there’s no permanent damage done and he’s back on his feet and eating properly, so we’re happy he’s okay.”

  Kathy sits on the bed and smiles shyly at me. “We treated him for fleas, too, and gave him a bath.”

  I gawp at her. “How did he like that?” He’s never had a bath in all the time I’ve known him and I hadn’t actually noticed any fleas.

  “He was trying to drink all the water while I was washing him, but he was really good,” she says with a giggle. She looks a little more relaxed now.

  I roll my eyes, then wince with the pain. Kathy’s face falls.

  “Is your head hurting? Should we go?”

  “No.” I grab her arm before she can hop off the bed. I like feeling her so close to me. “It’s nothing serious, just a headache. Doc says I’ll have it for a while. I’m being dosed up so I’ll be fine soon.”

  She bites her lip. “I saw you look over at me just before that man hit you with a wooden plank.” She looks strained. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have distracted you.” Tears well in her beautiful dark eyes and I put a finger to her cheek to catch them as they fall.

  “It wasn’t your fault.” It hadn’t occurred to me that she’d think she was to blame for any of it. “He was just a fucker who took the first chance he got. I knew he was waiting for his moment. He’d have done it whether you were there or not.”

  “The doctor said you were lucky. It was a hefty whack,” Joe pipes up.

  “It wasn’t that bad.” I scowl at him. Kathy feels bad enough already; she doesn’t need him making it sound any worse.

  “You had concussion,” Kathy says with a sniff.

  “Where there’s no sense there’s no feeling,” I tell her with a self-deprecating chuckle. “I’m fine, honestly. I was more worried that you’d got caught up in it.”

  She shakes her head. “I called the cops as soon as I saw what was happening,” she said. “Lots of other people started crowding around when I screamed. Those men looked shocked when you fell to the ground — I think they thought you were dead.”

  Her voice trails off and I can see that she must have thought it, too.

  “Only the good die young,” I tell her, stroking her cheek.

  “They tried to run for it when they heard the sirens,” Joe says with a smirk.

  Kathy looks a little brighter as she adds, “they couldn’t get out of the subway. Everyone was gathered around both entrances, blocking their way. They were cursing and swearing but no-one took any notice. The cops came and arrested all of them.”

  “I heard you recognised one of them.” I keep my voice soft.

  She nods. “Yeah. The one with the dog was the one that hit me. The cop said he’d face charges for that on top of everything else.”

  “Good.” I can’t help thinking it’s worked out well, despite my crashing headache.

  “We’ll keep Muttbags in for observation tonight,” Joe says, standing up. “You don’t have to worry about him.”

  “Thanks, mate. I appreciate it,” I tell him, shaking his hand.

  “No problem. You just get better. That flat’s waiting for you when you’re up to coming home and my brother and I have already starting compiling a list of jobs for you when you’re back on your feet.”

  My heart sings. I was dreading him telling me he’d changed his mind, but the man’s an absolute diamond.

  “Just let me get out of this bed and I’m all yours,” I promise him.

  “I was rather hoping you’d be all mine,” Kathy pipes up coyly.

  I suddenly feel ten feet tall as I smile at her. “That’s a given,” I assure her, leaning over and kissing her on the nose.

  “Only when you’re ready. There’s nothing urgent,” Joe says with a chuckle. “The important thing is for you to get better.”

  I nod. I really must stop doing that!

  “I’ll drop by tomorrow with some clean clothes,” Kathy promises, jumping down from the bed. She leans over to kiss me and I’m shrouded in her pretty, floral perfume. Her lips are soft and I don’t want to ever stop feeling them on mine. Something stirs under the bedcovers, reminding me that it’s time to let her go, and the giggle that emanates from her sweet mouth makes me wonder if she guessed my predicament.

  “Sleep well,” she whispers.

  I watch them go. Somehow I think those nightmares might be kept at bay for another night yet.

  Chapter 8

  I’m straightening up my
bed, ready to leave the hospital when there’s a knock on the door.

  “Morning Father. I thought you’d forgotten me.” I grin at him.

  “Never,” he assures me. “But I’d like a quick word if you’ve got a minute?”

  I nod, thankful that it doesn’t hurt as much today. He takes the chair while I lean against the bed.

  “You stopped the counselling,” he says, matter-of-factly.

  I feel a thud in my gut.

  “Why don’t you go back?”

  I shake my head with a self-deprecating smirk. “I don’t think they’d want me.” The vision of me losing my rag and yelling at the guy springs to mind and I wince at the thought.

  “Because you shouted at Paul Hudson?”

  “Yep.”

  “Do you think you’re the first?”

  I consider it for a moment and suddenly feel really sorry for the poor guy. He’s a very good listener and offers some sound advice, but I was having a really off-day and let rip at him. He must have thought I was about to hit him, but I thumped the desk instead. I shrug.

  Father Donnelly sighs. “Chris, it’s part of his job. And it’s part of your recovery to let off steam occasionally. That’s why you’re there; to get it out in a safe, non-judgemental environment. You can’t bottle it all up forever. He’s well aware of that — it’s what he’s there for.”

  “He didn’t deserve that.”

  “So, tell him if it bothers you.”

  I stare at him. “You think he’d listen?”

  “It’s what he does best.”

  “You’re right.” I think for a moment. It would be good to have someone to talk to, and Paul was a great counsellor. “It’s worth a thought,” I concede.

  “I’m glad you said that. You’ve got an appointment with him on Thursday at ten o’clock.”

  I gape at the priest as though he’s just sprouted another head or something. “What?”

  He runs a hand through his hair. “You’re still having nightmares, aren’t you?”

  “Who told you?”

  “You don’t have to go through this alone. There are plenty of other guys out there who know exactly what you’ve gone through, and could do with a chat now and then, too. Paul wants to see you on a one-to-one again, but he also thinks you’ll benefit from some group discussions. It’s a good way to meet new friends — and re-acquaint with some old ones.”

  I don’t like the way the old man’s looking at me and dread to think what’s coming next.

  “You remember Reidy and Tom Phillips?”

  I gape at him. They’re two of the guys from the other platoon; the ones I warned about the ambush.

  “They’ve been seeing Paul for a while now, too. They’d love to meet up with you again. Maybe chat over old stuff.” Father Donnelly looks at me sideways, as though judging my reaction.

  “My God!”

  “You’re learning,” he says, that twinkle dancing in his eyes again.

  I roll my eyes at him, glad that that’s another thing that doesn’t hurt as much today. “They’re back in London?”

  “Yep. Both with honorary discharges, like yourself. They’re desperate to meet up with their hero again — if you’re up for it, of course?”

  I balk. I’d never considered myself a hero and I’m surprised the guys saw me that way. I was just doing my job — badly, I thought.

  Father Donnelly hands me an appointment card with details of the counselling arrangements on. He also hands me a Help For Heroes leaflet with all sorts of useful information on it.

  “Thanks.” I feel a lump in my throat.

  “Oh, and don’t forget this one.” He hands me another card. It’s got his name and number on. “In case you ever want to catch up.” He stands up.

  I put the papers on the bed and throw my arms around him. Not for the first time, this guy’s offered me a lifeline and this time I don’t intend to let go of it.

  “Thank you,” I whisper.

  He smiles. “You need to thank that girl of yours, too,” he tells me. “We had a good long talk last night after she’d left you. I hadn’t realised you were still haunted by those damn nightmares. She’s worried about you.”

  I sigh. “I was afraid she’d think I was a thug when she saw me fighting with those bastards in the subway.”

  “She was surprised how hard you fought, but at the same time she said she felt proud. You were vastly outnumbered and hindered by worrying about your dog. Their dog was an unknown quantity too —it could have been vicious for all you knew. It was brave of you to take them all on like that.”

  “I didn’t have much choice.”

  “Isn’t that so often the way? You have to act on instinct even if afterwards you think you did the wrong thing. You did what you had to.” He smiles kindly at me and I get his message loud and clear.

  “Thanks, mate.” I pat him on the shoulder.

  “Right, go and find that girl. Oh, and find me after you’ve seen Paul next week. I’d like to hear how it went.”

  “I will,” I promise on both counts.

  * * * *

  A week later my headache’s actually gone. I’m living at the flat over the vet’s and Kathy’s helped me to get some second-hand furniture. I’ve now got a sofa to sit on, an old telly with a Freeview box to watch, and a fridge. I didn’t bother with a cooker, but I’ve got an old microwave that Joe gave me, though I’ve got a feeling it’s just a good excuse for the practice to get a new one. Either way, I’m happy.

  I’m pacing the floor waiting on the delivery of my new bed. Well, new to me. The good folks from the charity shop are supposed to bring it this morning and I can’t wait. I’ve been sleeping on the sofa, which is absolute luxury after park benches and sheets of cardboard on the pavement, but I still can’t wait for my own bed.

  “Is it here yet?” Kathy runs up the stairs and bursts into the flat, as eager as a puppy. Her excitement rouses Muttbags who suddenly jumps and barks.

  “No,” I say with a frown. “They definitely said it would be this morning.”

  “It’s only twelve, they’re not really late,” Kathy says, putting an arm around me. “We just have to be patient, that’s all.”

  I had a good discussion about patience the other day with Paul Hudson, the counsellor. He was thrilled to see me again and welcomed me like a long-lost friend. Father Donnelly said he was really proud of me when we met for a drink a couple of days later, and we’re going to meet up on a regular basis, too. That’s something I’m really looking forward to.

  “Is that them?”

  I follow Kathy into the living room where she’s peering through the window at a large white van which has just pulled up in the vet’s car park.

  “Yes!” I fist-pump the air before running down the stairs to give them a hand.

  The damn thing proves to be a bastard to get up the narrow staircase, and at one stage we actually considered trying to get it in through the window instead. Still, with sheer determination, not to mention brute force, we manage to get it into the bedroom, which looked much bigger before we added the bed. It’s a good job we went for a regular double instead of the king size I was considering. It would have meant waiting another week for delivery anyway and I just couldn’t hold out that long.

  Kathy offers the two guys a cup of tea, which, luckily, they decline and I slam the front door as soon as they’re gone.

  She’s already picked out and bought some brand new bedding in a mint green shade, which I’ve realised is her favourite colour. We got a new duvet from the supermarket and I put the cover on it yesterday in readiness. The new pillows also have matching covers, so all that’s left is to put the sheet on the mattress. It’s fitted, so doesn’t take a minute and then we throw on the cover and pillows.

  “It looks great.” Kathy beams at our handiwork.

  I stare at her, wondering how long she’s planning to just stand there admiring it. She looks up at me, her eyes wide and shining with anticipation.

&n
bsp; “I’ve still got half an hour before I’m back on duty,” she informs me, twirling her hair around her fingers.

  “Great. We can do it twice, then,” I say, almost jumping on her.

  She giggles as we bounce on the soft springs, tugging at each others’ clothes. Her skin feels soft beneath my fingers as I swiftly unbutton her blouse and she pulls her arms through the holes. Her breasts are caged in a pretty pink bra with white flowers on, her nipples protruding through the lace enticingly. I want to run my thumb over them but she’s too quick and pulls my tee-shirt over my head instead. She yanks at my zip and tugs my jeans down my legs. I return the favour with hers and we lie on the bed in just our underwear.

  “At last,” she gasps.

  We’d decided to wait until we had a proper bed to make love in, but the anticipation was almost too much to bear. Every night we’d kissed and cuddled, but there wasn’t room for both of us to sleep on the sofa, and it made sense for her to go home to get a proper night’s sleep being as she was working every day.

  Her day off is tomorrow, and we’re planning to spend it together, but no way can we wait until tonight with all this tension burning within us.

  “I want you,” I whisper between kisses.

  “I want you, too.” Her voice is muffled as she’s kissing my neck and I arch my back, offering my whole body up to her.

  Having her rub her soft skin next to mine is the best feeling ever — well, so far, anyway — and I can’t get enough of it. My cock’s been aching for this for days, and is letting its presence be known by nudging at her with its wet knob. Her giggle is melodical, and I know she’s got the message loud and clear.

  Gently, I rub her back before unfastening her bra, and feel her pert little breasts break free onto my chest. I let out a gasp at their sheer beauty and take one in my mouth, nipping at her nipple and sucking it hard.

  “Ooh.” She yelps, lying on top of me and rubbing her whole body up and down mine. My briefs are soaking wet and sticking to my cock like glue. I’m desperate to take them off, but don’t want to overstep the mark, so I content myself with licking and sucking at her gorgeous breasts, and kissing her throat, making her moan uncontrollably.