Forever Yours, Casey

by Cassidy K. O'Connor

  My eyes slowly drag from the door back to his face. His eyes boring into mine cause a shiver down my spine. “I’m sorry.”

  He huffs and shakes his head. “Should I assume her birthday is six to eight months from now?”

  “Yes, she is your daughter and her birthday is in seven months.”

  “Jesus, Britt, how could you do this?”

  He jumps out of his chair, pacing the room.

  “It was better this way.”

  “Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep better at night? I thought you were dead and all this time you were here raising our child? I never forgot you, I never could accept that you were gone, and now I find out you had moved on without me?”

  “Look at you now, Casey, you have everything you deserve. If I had stayed, you wouldn’t have gone to college and made something for yourself. It was for the best…”

  “Stop saying that! That is the lie you tell yourself to feel less guilty.”

  The anguish on his face is devastating and his shoulders are rising rapidly with fast breaths. I did this to him, I hurt him all over again. “You’re right, we had no right to keep her from you.”

  Standing up, I want to go to him, I want to hug him and take his pain away. I take one step forward and he jerks back like I’m a snake going to bite him.

  “Just let me absorb all this, I need time to think.”

  I swallow hard and nod. He opens the door and waves everyone else back in. Mama gives me a sympathetic look before sitting down.

  Casey sits down, gracefully picks up his pen like I didn’t just alter his entire life, and continues on.

  “I presume you’ve never had any other run ins with the law?”

  I quirk my eyebrow at his surly tone. “No, I’ve never been in trouble before. I’m on the PTA at school, the worst I’ve done is return a library book a few days late.”

  “That all works in our favor.” He turns to Mr. Jepson, “Do you have a list of witnesses to the event? I’d like to know what we’re up against.”

  “I’ll email you everything I have and tell the boys to give you access to everything else.”

  “All right then, I have my homework to do tonight.” His eyes lock on me again and I can’t help the shiver running down my spine, “You get a good night’s sleep and in the morning, prepare yourself to look as small and defenseless as possible for the judge.”

  I nod and watch sadly as he packs his briefcase and walks out without another look toward me.

  “I agree with Mr. Sanders, rest up tonight and we’ll get you out of here tomorrow.”

  “Thank you for agreeing to stay on and help me.”

  He gives me a fatherly smile and walks out. Mama engulfs me in a hug; even at my age it is amazing how much that helps.

  “I’m sure that was hard but it needed to be done. I had to call him, I didn’t think we stood a chance otherwise.”

  I could tell she thought I was mad; she’s waiting for me to break down.

  “I’m glad you called him and you are right, we do need him.”

  “I’ll be back in the morning, try not to dwell too much on the past tonight.”

  She knows me too well. How can I not think about the beautiful boy that turned into the gorgeous man I saw tonight? Every emotion I’ve had bottled up for the last fifteen years is pulsing through my body and I’m stuck alone in a cell for the next fourteen hours.

  Returning to my cell, I find my dinner tray waiting next to the pirate book I was enthralled with earlier. Thank god eating is an automatic response or I don’t know how the food would have gotten into my mouth. With the first bite of the rubbery meatloaf, my mind travels back to the day everything changed all those years ago.

  Chapter Six

  Brittany

  July 1990

  “Honey, have you seen my black cardigan…Jesus, Brittany, what’s wrong with your stomach?”

  I freeze while pulling my shirt over my head. I take it back off and stare at my stomach, expecting to see a cut or bruise.

  “What’s on me, what’s wrong?”

  Her hand is shaking as she reaches out and pushes on my belly in a few places.

  “When’s the last time you had your period?”

  “I don’t know, a few weeks ago?”

  “When, Brittany? Think about it, have you gotten it at all this summer?”

  Thinking back to school ending in May, I remember having it on the last day but not since then. My eyes bulge and my face feels like it’s on fire. Panicked, I look at her.

  “Shit, Brittany! I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  She storms out of my room and I collapse on my bed when I hear the door to our apartment slam shut. Staring at my belly, I notice it has gotten a little bigger. I poke it, it's firm. Last time I checked, I didn’t have any muscles there. This can’t be happening.

  Five minutes later, two of my fingernails are chewed down to nubs. I hear the door to the apartment and run out to the living room. A paper bag is thrown at me without a word. Slinking off to the bathroom, I pull the box out and stare at it. I’m sure these things are easy enough to figure out but I read the directions anyways. I guess I’m really putting off the inevitable.

  With a heavy sigh and a shaky hand, I pee on the stick and set it on the wrapper. I chew another fingernail while staring intently at that stupid little display box, willing it to show a negative sign. The box said wait three to five minutes, but not even two minutes in and the cursed plus sign appears. Numbly, I grab the stick and open the door. She’s standing there staring intently.

  “Mommy…” I burst into tears as her arms envelop me.

  “It’s okay, baby, I’ll take care of everything.”

  “Casey is going to freak, and his parents, they are going to hate me even more.”

  She leans back and holds my face between her hands.

  “Casey can’t know, none of them can. We’re going to pack up and leave for Grandma’s.”

  I can’t hide the horror on my face.

  “What are you talking about? I need to tell him; I can’t just take off.”

  “That boy has a real shot of making something for himself. Your life is already ruined, don’t take him down, too.”

  I jerk out of her arms. “Is that what happened to you? Did I ruin your life?”

  “No, sweetie, you are the greatest gift in my life. This baby will be just as special. I just meant your plans are changing now and we both know Casey won’t go to Harvard if you are here with his baby. You need to let him go be somebody, let him make something of himself.”

  She’s right, she isn’t saying anything I haven’t been thinking for weeks now already. “You’re right, it’s better if we leave.”

  “I’m going to run over to the market and grab some boxes. We can only take what we can fit in the car so start cleaning out your room.”

  Still shocked this is really happening, I nod and head off to my room. I grab all the pictures of Casey and wrap them in shirts. I’m only going to get through this if I stop thinking about him.

  When the last picture is put away and the tears start falling, I give in and let the wracking sobs come. I open my eyes when I feel the bed sink a little. For a fleeting second I hope its Casey and he’ll stop this from happening. Instead, it’s my mother’s sad eyes, she lies next to me and lets me finish crying.

  Once the hiccups replace the sobs, she sits back up.

  “It will get easier, Brittany, but for now you take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. We’ll get through this together. Now, let’s get packing, I want to be on the road by 7 a.m.”

  ******

  We work till three in the morning. Sixteen years in that apartment, we accumulated a lot of crap. I only break down crying once. Mama never cried in front of me but I heard her sobbing when she calls Grandma and tells her.

  One last look around the apartment before heading out leaves my heart breaking. It’s an empty shell of our home. Even the furniture looks s
ad, betrayed that we’re leaving it behind.

  “Come on, baby, I need to stop by the café before we go.”

  With a final slam of the door, we leave for the last time. Hugging my book to my chest, I climb in the stuffed wagon, put on my sunglasses and try to fall asleep.

  The next four days pass slowly. I take turns driving, we sleep at rest areas along the way and I do everything I can to ignore the pain in my chest. I feel horrible leaving without seeing Casey first. I pray he found the note I hid for him. Mama questioned why I left the heart pillow Casey had given me, but she easily accepted my excuse that I didn’t want the reminder.

  We pull into Grandma’s driveway before dinner time. I haven’t been here since I was a kid. It’s a cute two story house. I remember the first time I visited I thought it was a mansion.

  “You made it!”

  The excitement on Grandma’s face as she comes barreling out the front door makes me feel a little bad we haven’t been here in a while. Her arms swallow me in a breathless hug and I’m surprised by the feeling of safety I feel immediately. Maybe everything is going to be all right after all.

  “Come on, let’s get you guys settled in then we’ll have dinner. We have a lot to talk about.”

  Chapter Seven

  Casey

  Present Day (2005)

  I have a kid, not a kid but a teenager. When she first walked into that room, it took everything I had not to pounce on her. If Mr. Jepson hadn’t been in the room, I probably would have. I was surprised by the shock on her face, it hurt a little that she didn’t know to call me. I guess she never kept tabs on me like her mom apparently did.

  My thoughts of betrayal, hurt, love, and lust are disrupted by my phone ringing.

  “Hello?”

  “I hear you are helping that bitch, Brittany. You may want to get out of town now if you know what’s good for you.”

  “What makes you think I would be scared of a chicken shit who doesn’t even have the guts to threaten me in person? I’m staying at the Hilton by the airport if you have the balls to come here.”

  I hit the end call button and resist the urge to throw it. I have no doubt who that is, I’m shocked how fast he got my number. I only gave it to Jepson and the police, which means they have someone on the inside.

  I dial up Jepson, he picks up on the second ring.

  “Hey, Sanders, did you get all the files you needed?”

  “Yeah, I got everything before I left the station. Listen, I got a neighborly call from someone suggesting I quit the case. Do we need to worry Brittany isn’t safe tonight?”

  “Shit, these guys work fast. Most of the force is on our side. They hate this family as much as we do. I don’t know who the moles are but trust me when I tell you there are enough on our side to take care of her tonight. Before I left I made sure Steve would keep an eye on her. He used to date my daughter and I trust him completely.”

  I’ve been doing this job enough years that I trust my gut, he sounds legit.

  “Thanks for doing that. Are you all set for the morning? If we can’t get the case thrown out, I will post bail for her. What about this Judge Peters, where are his loyalties?”

  “He’s always been a decent guy; he lets some of their dirty work slide by but I don’t think he’s going to be a hard ass on Ms. Celdonio.”

  “Let’s hope not. I’m going to finish up reading these files then get a few hours’ sleep. I’ll see you at the station in the morning.”

  We hang up and I toss the phone on the bed. After a quick shower, I grab the stack of witness accounts and dig in.

  It doesn’t take me long to realize every story is identical. Apparently every single person interviewed saw the exact same thing, heard the same words and all claim Kacee was never there. They claim Brittany was a mad woman who attacked for no reason at all. Awfully convenient that everyone saw the same thing no matter where they were in the noisy, dark club.

  With a frustrated sigh, I shove my notes into my briefcase and try to get some sleep. Apparently I’m taking on a mob tomorrow.

  Chapter Eight

  Brittany

  “Rise and shine, ma’am. Your mother has clothes for you to change into then we’ll get you over to your hearing.”

  I smile at the female guard and follow her down the hall to the same room I’ve been in the last two days. I smile at the floral 1950s looking dress lying on the table; it will definitely make me look feminine and motherly.

  I finish quickly and knock on the door to let them know I’m finished. I follow the guard down another hall and after a few more turns, I realize we’ve passed from the police station to the court house. Nerves suddenly attack, my hands feel sweaty and my stomach rolls.

  We turn a corner and I see Mr. Jepson and Casey waiting outside a door. Casey in his suit with his briefcase makes my stomach roll for a different reason. I’ve never been interested in suits before but my entire body tingles with desire.

  I shake my head; I know it’s been a while but now is not the time to think about this.

  “Ms. Celdonio, you look lovely. Might I suggest you change focus a little and work to look timid and fragile? Make people think there is no way you could threaten or harm that idiot.”

  I nod, embarrassed that my emotions must have been obvious on my face. I’ve never been good at hiding them. It only takes one look into my eyes to know exactly how I feel.

  With a deep breath, I compose myself and nod again to let them know I’m ready. The door opens and all heads turn to look at me. I see Dirk and his goons sitting behind the prosecutor. He blows a kiss at me and my fists bunch. A large, warm hand squeezes my shoulder and I glance over at Casey. He mimics a deep breath; I nod sheepishly and scan the rest of the room. Tears well up when I see Mama sitting behind the table I’m heading toward. She nods and smiles, it gives me strength to know she is on my side.

  Taking my place, I look up to the judge and swallow the bile rising in my throat, this is really happening.

  I listen as the charges are read, resisting the urge to bite my nail.

  “How does the defendant plead?”

  Casey looks down at me and nods.

  “Not guilty, your Honor.”

  We all turn when Dirk let’s out a loud laugh, his goons are chuckling as well.

  “Your honor, we have multiple witnesses who will testify that this was an unprovoked attack. We are asking bail be withheld.”

  I turn to Casey, shocked. I never thought they would keep me here till the trial. Tears roll down my face, Casey reaches under the table and squeezes my hand.

  He stands up and clears his throat.

  “Your Honor, Ms. Celdonio is a loving, single mother. She works full-time and has never been in any kind of trouble. She does not have a passport and all her family lives here as well. She is not a flight risk and refusing bail is completely uncalled for.”

  The judge stares intently at Casey, who is radiating control and power. Those tingly feelings are back and stronger than ever.

  “All right, I’ll set the bond for $500,000 and the condition that you are personally responsible for her till the trial.”

  He smacks the gavel and calls for the next case. Casey turns a smiling face to me; he seems proud but I can’t understand why.

  “I can’t believe they are keeping me here. I need to get home.”

  “Everything is fine, you’ll be home tonight.”

  “Maybe you didn’t hear him but he set the bail for half a million dollars. You said yourself I’m a single mother, I don’t have that kind of money and I don’t own anything I can sell.”

  He grabs my shoulders and forces me to stare at him.

  “You don’t need to do anything, I’m going to head over to the bondsman now and I’ll have you out in a couple of hours.”

  He turns and heads out of the room without a second glance. My attention is caught by Dirk staring me down, he isn’t very happy with the judge’s decision either.

  “Let’s ge
t you back to the jail.”

  I smile and wave to Mama and follow the guard out the side door again.

  “Mr. Jepson, he doesn’t have to pay the whole amount, does he?”

  “No, they will ask for ten percent.”

  “I still can’t even pay that much.”

  “Mr. Sanders has got it; he came prepared for this. Give it a couple of hours and you’ll be with your kids soon.”

  I stop and grab his hand.

  “Thank you for sticking by me, I know the risk you are taking and I want you to know how appreciative I am.”

  “You’re welcome and the way I figure it, why not go out in a blaze of glory.”

  While I don’t agree with his sentiment, I appreciate it still. I nod and follow the guard back to my cell. She announces I don’t need to change since Casey has already started the process to get me out. With nothing else to do, I lay down and finish the pirate book. I need to know if the damsel made an honest man of the rapscallion or did she join him on his boat.

  As I get to the last page, my cell opens and the female officer announces its time to go. I hold my finger up and race to get to the end. With a satisfied huff, I slam the book closed and pop up excitedly.

  “You would be the first person to ever ask me to wait to release you.”

  “I’m a career reader what can I say, I can’t leave the book unfinished. Can you give this back to officer Freeman and thank him for me? I probably would have gone crazy in here without this.”

  “I’ll let him know.”

  Casey is waiting at the processing station. I smile timidly and avoid eye contact after that. I follow him out to his car and thank him when he holds the door open for me. It’s been a long time since anyone has done that for me.

  He slides into the driver's seat and grips the steering wheel hard.

  “Thank you…”

  “Listen, Brittany…”

  We chuckle and he gestures for me to go first.