by Toler, B N
“Jesus, Ryan,” I groan. “Cut me a little slack.”
“Nope.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, man. I swear I thought if any two people would make it, it would be you two. You guys were fucking crazy about each other.”
“Ryan, would you kindly fold up your vagina and put it away?” Jake gives Ryan a pointed look before turning to me. “Brandon. You’re looking for advice, right? Not a scolding.”
“I honestly have no idea what to do,” I answer in defeat.
“Fight like hell to keep her,” Jake says it as if it’s the most obvious conclusion. “If you don’t, and she does leave you, you’ll always wonder if you could’ve changed her mind.”
“She sent me away. I’m trying to give her space.”
“Nah, man. Fight for her,” Ryan adds.
“I need to get drunk,” I sigh.
“Well we are just the friends to get you there,” Ryan laughs and signals for the waiter.
We spend the evening talking about old times and catching up and when it’s over I head back to my parents’ place wondering if they’re right. Maybe Sophia is waiting for me to show her I’m willing to fight for her.
NINE
Sophia
“You look like hell.”
I wake to the sound of Tia’s voice as she digs through my suitcase wearing a red bikini, looking fresh as a daisy. “Why’d you let me drink so much?” I moan as I pull a pillow over my face to block the light.
“I call it the liver rehabilitation program. Simply put, we need to retrain your liver to handle excessive drinking.”
“I’m going to die, right here,” I mumble.
“Stop saying you’re going to die,” she snaps and pulls the pillow off my head, tossing it to the side. “Now put this bikini on and come down. I’ll have a Bloody Mary waiting for you, we’re going to lounge on the beach and bask in our youth.”
When she shuts the door after leaving my room, I sit up. What is going on with her? Has she made it her life mission to fix me? I snort at the thought. When I head down, Antonio is wearing different shorts, but still shirtless and I blush when I catch him checking me out.
Apparently Tia caught him, too, because she says, “Isn’t she hot, Antonio? The woman’s had two kids and still has a rocking body.”
“Very impressive,” Antonio agrees. I blush as he nods and scans my body again. His perusal doesn’t feel dirty though, more complimentary, like a man that can appreciate beautiful things. Not that I think I’m beautiful, but Antonio has a way about him that makes me feel like he sees more than ass and tits, he sees the entire package. I realize he’s absolutely perfect for my sister.
“Lots of running,” I reply turning to Tia.
“And she hides it behind all these conservative mommy clothes. It’s tragic.” Tia sticks her finger in her mouth like she’s gagging herself.
“Well, dropping my children off at school in a bikini isn’t really appropriate. I can’t wait to see what you wear when you finally bless the world with offspring.”
Tia and Antonio glance at each other, but it’s so brief I almost don’t see it. “Not for me, Phi. I don’t plan on having babies. Besides, don’t use my biological clock to distract us from the real issue here,” she chides.
“The real issue?” I quirk a brow.
“Yeah. Your shitty wardrobe,” she snorts.
“I’m not a single twenty-something like you, Tia,” I say defensively. My wardrobe doesn’t consist of booty shorts and tube tops, but I’m not walking around in sweats either. Tia is exaggerating. Per the usual. “I have kids.”
“And that means what? You have to stop dressing like the beautiful, young woman you are?”
“Okay, Tia. Enough,” I groan. I’m too hung over to deal with her this morning. “Where’s my Bloody Mary and bottle of aspirin?” I snap.
“You really are a cranky winch in the morning,” she smirks as she hops up to make my drink and get the aspirin.
We eat breakfast on the patio, apparently Antonio is also a fabulous chef and I realize how spoiled I’m becoming not having to cook. After breakfast, Tia drags me out to the beach and we lay on two lounge chairs side by side, staring out at the water. Tia sips a mimosa while she reads me articles from several magazines about sex tips, diet fads, and workout trends. According to Cosmo, men like to do it doggy style. I’m no journalist or sex expert, but I’m pretty sure that shit’s common knowledge.
I’m just about to doze off, Tia’s droning boring me to death, when Antonio says, “It’s ready, Tia.”
I turn to him just as Tia jumps up and kisses his cheek. “Have I mentioned you’re the most, to say the least?” I smile at her movie quote. Grease was always a favorite of ours.
“A few times last night,” he replies with a playful wink and she giggles like a high school girl.
“Come on, Sophia. I have a surprise for you.” She pulls me up and leads me back towards the house, but not to the stairs we came down before. Instead, we head over to a canopy with white curtains. On the backside, a camera on a tri-pod is set up and inside there’s a bed with white linen sheets and fluffy pillows.
“What’s this?” I ask staring at the bed.
“Have you ever heard of boudoir photos?” Tia asks.
“Yes,” I reply hoping this conversation isn’t going where I think it’s going.
“Well, Antonio is going to take some of you.”
I jerk away from her and shake my head. “No way, Tia. No way.” Is she insane?
“Why not?” She crosses her arms and looks at me like I’m crazy.
I glance at Antonio and he slips away, catching a hint that I need to talk to my sister in private. I love him for that. “First, your lover is taking the photos.”
“He takes these kind of photos all the time, Soph. It’s no big deal.”
Of course she wouldn’t find that odd. “Second, I have no reason to do this.”
“Who says you need a reason? Why not do it and it’ll be some awesome photo your grandchildren can look at one day and think, damn, my granny was hot.”
“Why would my grandchildren want to see a photo of me like that?” I laugh at how ridiculous it sounds.
“So they can see you as something other than a granny,” she answers matter-of-factly. “Look, just take a few and if you feel uncomfortable you can stop. Antonio is amazing at this.” She takes me by my arms and smiles. “I want you to see the hot sexy woman I saw that night in the boat house. I think you’ve forgotten that she and you are the same person.”
I let out a frustrated sigh. “Fine, Tia. A few photos, but I don’t want you to watch. It’ll be too weird.”
“Eww, gross. Like I’d watch you take photos.” Her tone doesn’t match her expression as she stares at me with a smile plastered on her face.
“You’re so weird, Tia.” I snort.
“But you love me.”
“Yes, I do,” I answer sincerely.
She winks at me before she takes my hand and pulls me back to the canopy. “She’s game, Antonio,” she shouts.
“Great.” Antonio smiles from behind his camera. “I poured you a glass of Champaign to help take the edge off.” I grab the glass and chug it down.
“You two have fun,” Tia teases as she heads back down to the beach.
“Have a seat on the bed, Sophia. We’ll start slow, just take a few shots and see how it goes.”
“Okay.” I nod as I hop on the bed facing him.
“I’m just going to take a few shots to get my camera focused. Let me refill your glass first.” He quickly pours Champaign in my glass and heads back to his camera and I sip the bubbly drink as he snaps, waiting for his direction.
He stops snapping photos a moment and stands up, giving me a curious look. “Are you nervous?” he asks it as if he’s surprised.
“A little,” I reply honestly. “This is more up my sister’s alley,” I laugh as his camera snaps.
“Tia is a confident woman. She says she learn
ed it from you.” He bends down again and looks through the lens. His words twist in my head, but before I can dissect them, he adds, “You’re a beautiful woman, Sophia. I mean it. I’m not into giving undeserved flattery.” I bite my lip and blush. When a man that looks like Antonio calls you beautiful, you blush. “You’re sexy, too,” he adds and I have to look away from him to hide my grin. “You know what I find sexiest about you?”
“My brains,” I snort. Oh my God. I just snorted. I’m suddenly regretting all of the drinks I’ve had this morning.
He chuckles slightly, running a hand through his loose hair. “Your long neck and perfect shoulders. Why don’t you face the ocean and I’ll take a few with you looking over your shoulder?”
“Okay.” I comply, the alcohol obviously making me a more willing subject. I turn and face the water, placing my glass on the ground by my feet.
“That’s good, now peek over your shoulder at me.” He snaps a few photos and stands. I’m starting to feel comfortable. This isn’t so bad. It’s not like I’m naked or anything.
“Now why don’t we remove your top?”
My body tenses. “Umm, I don’t think so.” I shake my head.
“Listen, Sophia.” My name rolls off his tongue like silk. “These aren’t pornographic photos. There meant to be sexy, but elegant. If you’re not comfortable with this, it’s cool, we can stop, but I think you’ll be very pleased with the outcome if you let loose and go with it. We can delete them afterwards if you hate them.”
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes realizing he’s right. Taking a few risqué photos isn’t going to wreck my world. Why not? I’ve never done anything like this before and maybe I’ll enjoy it. Without answering him, I open my eyes, and untie the strings of my bikini, slipping it off. Before he asks I slide my bottoms off and toss them, pulling the top sheet on the bed up to cover me somewhat. “Happy?” I quirk a brow.
He nods appreciatively. “You will be when you see these photos.” He laughs and steps back behind his camera. The session takes off and I quickly realize Antonio has a talent for making a woman feel sexy and beautiful, free and uninhibited without making her feel uncomfortable. I lose count of how many poses I do or shots he takes because I’m actually enjoying myself. I feel incredible and it has everything to do with me, not my need to feel it from someone else. When we finish, Antonio picks up my suit and hands it to me as I lay wrapped in the sheet from the bed.
“Seriously, Sophia. One of my best shoots ever.”
“Thanks, Antonio. That was actually a lot of fun.” I smile genuinely.
“My pleasure. I’ll give you a few minutes to get yourself together.” After he leaves I slip my bikini back on and traipse out to the beach where Tia lays passed out. Unable to resist, I hop on her and start tickling her like I did when she was a little girl. She immediately starts squealing and writhing to escape me, but when she starts coughing I slide off her.
“You okay?” I ask grabbing her bottled water by her chair and handing it to her. She continues to hack and cough and I pat her on the back to help her get it out. “I’m really sorry, Tia,” I say when her coughs finally calm down and she sips her water.
With a red face, she shakes her head and stands. “I’m okay. I’m feeling a little hung over. I’m going to go lay down.” She begins to walk away and I call after her, “Guess your liver needs some more training, huh?”
She snorts and replies, “Guess so.”
After she leaves, I lay back on the lounge chair and close my eyes. My life is far from perfect, but I am enjoying being with my sister for a little while, even though I know it’s short-lived. Soon I’ll have to go home and face reality.
***
Later in the day, after Tia and I have napped, we head out to do some shopping.
“This dress would look fabulous on you, Phi.” Tia holds it up against me and I cringe at the loud colors.
“Not so much, Tia.” I shake my head and continue sorting through a rack of clothing. I’ve found the girls a few things I’m going to ship home before we leave, but Tia is insistent I buy something for myself.
“How about a wrap?” she suggests and I laugh.
“What’s with you, Tia? Why do you want me to buy something so badly?”
“I want you to have something to remember this trip. You know, one day look back and think I got this when Tia dragged my cranky ass to Mexico and we had so much fun.”
“Or maybe I’ll think, I got this that time my whiney little sister forced me to go to Mexico with her,” I jest.
Tia pouts her lips, in mock offense, “That hurt.” But the banter is short-lived as her face instantly lights up. I brace myself for whatever she’s about to say. “How about instead of buying something, we do something really different and fun.”
“What did you have in mind?” I ask as I shove a small set of maracas in my bag. I just know Ferrah will love them.
“Zip lining.” She starts jumping up and down like a little girl about to see her favorite boy band in concert.
I stare at her blankly knowing she’s about to say, just kidding. When she doesn’t I mumble, “Uh…”
“Come on, Phi. Let’s do it. I’ve never gone zip lining before and I really want to. Please.” She begs as she tugs on my arm. I’m a grown woman and I could say no, but another part of me kind of wants to try it. It’s been a long time since I’ve done something crazy. Actually it’s only been a few hours, the boudoir photos were crazy, but I might as well keep going. Crazy feels good sometimes.
So two hours later after we drive up a mountain where residential plumbing drains into the river we follow, we stand on a platform just above the brown, murky water. The current is forceful, and if we fall in, it would easily drag us down.
“What are you thinking, Phi?” Tia smirks as she eyes me.
“I’m thinking I’m more worried about falling in the river because the bacteria and fecal matter may melt my flesh off than I am about the current that could drag me under.”
“We’re not going to fall in. Are we, Pedro?” She turns and asks the man that has helped us fasten our harness and is hooking Tia to the zip line.
“Si,” he answers plainly.
“Told you.” She shrugs and turns back to me.
I give her a pointed look. “He has no idea what you just said, Tia.”
She gives Pedro a speculative glance. “Probably not.” She nods in agreement as she tests her weight in her harness now that she’s hooked to the line. “You worry too much, Phi. Just relax. You’re going to love this.”
Pedro gives her a nod letting her know she can go when she’s ready.
“See you down there.” She beams a magnificent smile at me and squeals as she descends down the line. I watch her go, laughing and shaking my head.
A few minutes later, I’m zipping down the river myself, catching glimpses of the locals fishing and some children swimming. I desperately want to yank them out of the river and douse them in Purell. When I reach the other side, Tia is waiting, removing her helmet, grinning like a goon.
“So what’d ya think?” She knows I loved it and can’t wait to say, I told ya so.
“Okay, it was fun.” I roll my eyes as a man helps me unfasten my harness.
“Let’s grab a few drinks before we head back.”
We stop at a little riverside restaurant at the bottom of the mountain and order Coronas. They also serve fresh seafood caught right from the river, but we pass on food. “I’m glad you came, Phi. Are you having a good time?”
“Yeah. I am.” It’s the truth, too. “It’s just I know when I get back I have some tough decisions to make.” I sip my beer and stare out over the water.
Tia leans back nodding, knowing exactly what I mean. “What do you think you’ll do?”
I snort. “I honestly have no idea. I don’t want to break up my family, but I’m so angry with him I don’t know what to do.” My family is my world and I know keeping it together is a must, but how? How do I
move on from this hurt and anger? How do I let Brandon touch me again without the image of him kissing another woman clouding my mind?
“Have you told him that?” Tia sips her beer.
“I’m sure it was fairly obvious when I walked in on him kissing another woman.”
She stares out at the water a moment before asking, “Do you think he’s cheated before?” Her gaze remains on the water and I know she is hiding her own concerns.
I shake my head and sigh. Truthfully, no, I don’t think so, but how can I be sure? I never worried about Brandon cheating on me. I thought we were solid, but I was really wrong about that. “He says that nothing has ever happened before that.”
“So tell me what led up to this, Phi. Were you guys okay before this?”
“I don’t know, Tia. I thought we were happy. I mean, things were comfortable, I’ve told you that, but I had no idea we were in that kind of territory. I keep trying to pinpoint where things changed between us.”
“What do you mean?”
“Where we stopped being insane about each other and turned into…whatever we are.”
“Do you still love him?” Tia asks and her gaze meets mine again.
Even after everything, I do love Brandon. “Yeah, I do.” I nod. “I know no matter what happens, no matter how hurt and angry I am with him, I’ll always be in love with him. He’s the one.” I shrug and sip my beer again.
“Do you think he wants to stay married?”
“He said he did before he left with the girls, but when I talk to him on the phone I keep thinking he’ll try to engage with me or fight for me, but he’s short. I don’t know if it’s what he wants anymore.” A tear slips down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away. “I feel like a fool. How could I have been so blind?”
“Phi. Look at me.” Tia puts her hand on mine and leans towards me. Her big brown eyes stare at me. “Do you think you did your best in your marriage?” Her gaze is so intense I have to look away.
“Could I have done things better, probably, but I really thought I was doing what he wanted me to do. He was so busy, I thought he just wanted to come to me when he wanted to come to me. I took care of everything and waited for him.” I was always there for him. I never made him do anything and in my mind, I thought that was being a good wife.