Wrecking Ball

by Toler, B N

  “Keep in touch with Antonio. Check on him. For me.”

  “Of course. He’s family now. He’s stuck with us.”

  “You know, he is the love of my life. When I found him I understood what you have with Brandon.”

  “I’m glad you found each other.”

  “Will you get Mom and Dad for me?”

  “Yeah.” I stood up and wiped under my eyes.

  “I love you, Phi.”

  I stared down at the shell of my sister, frail, weak, and barely hanging on. I hated to see her suffering. And she was suffering. “I love you, too, baby girl.”

  ***

  Tia Renee Campbell Foster passed away in her sleep two days before Christmas, wrapped in the arms of her husband. She went quietly, unlike the way she entered the world and lived every day after. The world lost a little of its color that day.

  We all felt lucky in a sense. As she passed, Antonio lay beside her, holding her tight, whispering to her that it was okay for her to let go. My parents, Brandon and I sat around her bed and Wendy stood in the background. When we knew for certain she had taken her last breath, I kissed her cheek and told her, “I love you, baby girl.” My father sobbed on his knees by her bed and oddly my mother stayed strong and wept quietly as she rubbed his shoulder. Brandon and I were finally able to pull my parents away so Antonio could say his goodbyes alone with her. He didn’t let her go after she passed, but held her and sobbed into her neck, whispering his farewell.

  Brandon took my father to his study for a drink while my mother and I went to the kitchen for some coffee.

  “I can’t imagine how you feel right now, Mom,” I said as I poured her a mug. “I feel like my heart is in pieces. It must be a million times worse when it’s your child.”

  My mother sighed loudly. “I’m trying to be thankful for what God has given me.”

  I gave her a confused look. How could anyone be thankful to God after watching their child die?

  “Sophia, I brought that beautiful girl into the world. I loved her, cared for her, cried with her, laughed with her. And if the Lord saw it fit to take her now, so young, no matter how angry I am that he’s taken her, I’m grateful he blessed me to be here with her when she went. I was there when she took her first breath and I was here when she took her last.” Her voice shook as her emotion began to take over and I nodded in understanding.

  “Do you think Daddy will be alright?”

  “No. But he’ll survive,” she answered honestly.

  As she wished, Tia was cremated and we held a service for friends and family, but just before New Year’s, my parents, Antonio, Brandon, our girls, and I went to Mexico. And as the sunset on the beaches in Puerto Vallarta, we spread her ashes in the wind letting them blow out toward the sea.

  Antonio had a bench made, some form of wild black stone, and on the seat engraved, I’m a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar. Tia Renee Campbell Foster, A spirit that will never cease.

  We all cried and laughed as we talked about Tia as a child, but when darkness came my parents went inside with the girls, leaving the three of us staring at the ocean.

  “She’s gone,” I whispered as Brandon hugged me.

  “She would’ve loved this, what we did here. It was exactly what she wanted.” Antonio nodded, his gaze fixed on the water. I worried about Antonio. What would he do without Tia? My biggest fear was that his grief might lead him down darker roads he once ventured, but I hoped he was stronger than that.

  “Will you be alright, Antonio?” I asked softly as I squeezed his arm.

  And as if he read my mind he answered, “I won’t go back to drugs if that’s what you mean, Soph. Tia saved my life. There’s no doubt in my mind if it hadn’t been for her, I’d be dead right now. She taught me so much about life and how beautiful it is. I’d never go back to what I was.”

  “You’re welcome to come back with us.” Brandon released me so we could both face Antonio.

  “Actually, I’ll be leaving in the morning. I’m going home to California.”

  “Oh,” I said surprised. Antonio was like family to us now. Him leaving felt like losing someone else.

  “Tia and I discussed many things before she passed. I told her I wouldn’t be able to come back here. It would be too painful for me, remembering what we shared here.” He swallowed hard trying to keep his emotion at bay. My heart sobbed for this man on top of my own grief.

  “We both agreed that the two of you should have this place.” He pulled out a thick envelope from his back pocket and handed it to Brandon. “It’s all been taken care of. The place is yours. There’s a letter from her inside explaining everything.”

  I thought my tears were all gone, dried up, but as they had for months now, proved me wrong as they came streaming down my face.

  “I’m going to go for a walk. I need a little time to myself. Would you guys excuse me?” Antonio didn’t wait for us to answer, he simply turned and started walking the other way.

  We watched him for a moment before Brandon guided me to the bench and we sat. He opened the envelope, Tia’s letter the first page on top.

  “You read it. I just can’t,” I told him.

  With a gravelly voice, he began,

  Sophia and Brandon,

  You found each other here again, and this place should be yours. Sophia, spending some of my last days here with you were the best. I hope you’ll love this place, come here as often as you can, hell, move here. You’ve got plenty of money. Whatever you do, both of you, love fiercely and often, laugh until your bellies ache, and never take one single day for granted.

  I hope your lives will be rich and happy.

  And Brandon, my threat still stands from when I was thirteen. You hurt my sister I’m going to kick your ass. Or rather haunt you.

  I know you won’t though. You love her and I believe that with every fiber of my being. I love you both, Kiss my nieces, and tell them all of the awesome stories about me, even the ones that most parents wouldn’t because they think it would set a bad example. I want them to remember me accurately.

  All of my love,

  Tia

  When he searched the papers he found a bank statement in the girl’s names. On the back was written, so that my nieces can one day go on an adventure of their own together.

  TWENTY-NINE

  Brandon

  When we got back from Mexico, Sophia threw herself into her normal routine. She’s been quiet and a little withdrawn. That’s to be expected. She just lost her sister. In some ways, I still can’t believe Tia is gone. She wasn’t my sister and we didn’t always see eye to eye, but she meant the world to my wife and that made her important to me.

  As I sat drinking my coffee at the table one morning, Ferrah and Chloe crawled into the chairs on each side of me. Their eyes were red with tears and frowns covered their faces.

  “What’s wrong, my little princesses?” I asked concerned.

  “Mommy just caught us fighting and yelled at us. She said we should be grateful we have one another and stop arguing over silly things,” Chloe answered with a weepy tone.

  My heart sunk a little. My poor Sophia. I wished so badly I could take away her hurt. She’d been more tense the last day or two after she went and had genetic testing done to see if she carried the same genes as Tia. We’re still waiting on the results.

  “Girls, Mommy is just really sad right now.”

  “Because of Auntie T?” Ferrah sniffled.

  “Yeah.”

  “Listen, I’ll talk to Mommy, but you two try and get along, okay?”

  “Okay,” they agreed in unison.

  I left for work that morning with a plan. Life is short. So short. Sophia and I were blessed with money to do things most wouldn’t be able to do. My career played a huge role in what almost destroyed us. It was no longer so important to me.

  So I gave my resignation that day. When I got home, I found Sophia in our guest room, where Tia had stayed, looking through a photo album as she sat
on the bed.

  “Hi, beautiful,” I kissed the top of her head and sat down beside her.

  “Hey.” She smiled softly. “You’re home early.”

  “Yeah, well I need to speak with you.” I rubbed her back gently. She looked exhausted, thin and pale.

  “Everything okay?”

  “I gave my resignation today,” I blurted out. She stared at me blankly for a long moment.

  “Why?”

  “Because I want us to do the things we dreamed of. I want us to live life to the fullest.”

  “But you’ve worked so hard Brandon.”

  “None of that matters to me now. Chasing my career almost cost me you.”

  “Well, what will you do now?”

  “What will we do now is the question.”

  “Okay.” She turned to face me pulling one leg up and folding it in front of her on the bed.

  “Let’s sell the house and move to Mexico. You have your inheritance, I can find a job teaching down there, and we’ll have no mortgage since Tia and Antonio gave us the house.”

  “Really?” The first real smile I’d seen on her face in days appeared. I knew in that moment I’d made the right decision to quit.

  “Yes. I have to finish out the semester, but we can move right after that.”

  Sophia climbed into my lap and wrapped her arms around me. “I can’t believe we’re going to do this.”

  “Believe it.”

  “Thank you, Brandon.” Her lips met mine and our kiss exploded into passion and need. She pulled away from me briefly and whispered against my lips. “Take me to our bed and make love to me. I need you inside of me now.”

  That’s all it took. I was hard as a rock with just those words. The woman knows how to get me going. I scooped her up and as I carried her out of the guest room I growled, “Gladly.”

  EPILOGUE

  Sophia

  When Tia was born, as I said, I promised myself I’d be different than most sisters. I wanted to be her friend—best friend and I wanted to teach her everything; how to kiss—even though when she was born I had no idea how to do it myself, but I hoped to figure it out and be able to help her. I wanted to teach her how to dance; blow bubbles; swim, I wanted to guide her. The idea made me feel important, like I had purpose. As we grew up together, I did teach her many things, but I never thought my baby sister might actually teach me something.

  In my thirties, she gave me the greatest life lesson. When you do something, do it all the way.

  Brandon told me when Tia first took me to Mexico he thought it was to convince me to leave him. Maybe deep down, I sort of thought that too, though she never said that. But Tia was on a mission.

  Operation “Bring Sophia back to life.”

  Tia wanted me to make a choice and not go at it half-assed. She wanted me to throw my heart into it and give it my all. Tia wanted me to live. If I felt angry, she wanted me to show it, cuss someone out, punch a guy who was acting like an asshole at a bar getting handsy with her sister, stand up for myself. If I wanted to make love on a beach, she wanted me to be brave enough to throw caution to the wind, and live for the moment, because moments like that pass in the blink of an eye. If I decided to stay with Brandon, she wanted me full of fire and passion, not someone going through the motions.

  Her most valuable lesson though, was her life. Life is so fragile and can end so unexpectedly. Tia filled her days with memories that could fill hundreds of lifetimes. She wasn’t perfect and she never claimed to be, but she did what made her happy. She demanded happiness and when she died, even though she was so young, she had no regrets.

  Brandon and I came together again, stronger than ever. Our love re-bloomed with all of the passion and need we once had for each other. Tia’s death taught us to cling tight to each other and wake up every day with the idea to live it like it was our last.

  With my new outlook on life, a lesson the wild and unruly Tia taught me, Brandon and I moved to Mexico with the girls. He got a job at a local university making far less, but we had no mortgage with Tia leaving us Antonio’s house, plus my inheritance, so we live very comfortably.

  One night as we were sitting on Tia’s bench, something occurred to me.

  “Brandon, that day in the hospital when Tia asked to speak with you, what did she say?” I couldn’t believe I had never asked. I was so grief-stricken I guess it never occurred to me to ask him.

  Brandon let out a little chuckle. “She told me the day she met me she knew I was the one you belonged with and she still believed it even though I was a dick for hurting you.”

  That sounded like something she would say.

  “She said I was the only person she trusted with you, to help you through it and that I had to get you back and I couldn’t take no for an answer.”

  “Pushy, Tia. As usual,” I chuckled.

  “I’m grateful to her,” Brandon said as he stared out over the water, his hand finding mine on the bench between us.

  “I know.” I laid my head on his shoulder.

  We made love on the beach that night, slowly, savoring the taste of each other. We’d found a great deal of happiness and though I ached inside at the loss of my sister, her bright light having diffused so quickly, I knew I was doing what I promised her I would do.

  I was living.

  Nine months later, we welcomed our new daughter into the world.

  Tia Renee.

  Acknowledgements:

  Alice, Kate, Ashley, & Leah, thank you for your encouragement and support. You guys are the best!

  To Ellen Sallas of The Author’s Mentor for her editing and formatting and answering all of my questions because I always have so many! A big thanks to Kari Ayasha with Cover to Cover Designs for designing the cover. I know I can be picky and a pain in the you know what, but thanks for your patience.

  To the bloggers that have read my other books, who have given a nobody in the literary world a chance, thank you.

  To Brett and Amy Jo, my siblings. I love you both, and I thank God I got to have you both as my brother and sister. How tragically boring life would be without you.

  And finally, Toler. For letting me read little bits of my story to you constantly asking, “Is this funny?” You never get annoyed and I kind of love you that. But mostly I love you because no one makes me laugh more than you and you know laughing is my all-time favorite thing to do next to sleeping in and reading. Seriously babe, thanks for everything.

  B N Toler is a happily married, mother of three who lives in Virginia. She enjoys reading and lives for a good book she can’t put down.

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