INK: Abstraction

by Roccaforte, Bella

  The guard takes my clothes and I’m standing in the middle of a room completely naked. My hands are starting to warm. Shit, I need to seriously curb my anger.

  “Your hands are very red,” she remarks.

  “Yes, yes they are.” I stare at Filson with enough intensity and hatred to make him look away. That's right, motherfucker, you're next.

  He returns his attention back to me, careful to only look in my eyes. He looks scared shitless. You should be scared. I'm coming for you.

  During our mental exchange I'm thoroughly searched. The humiliation of this moment is running hot through me like a poker. I really wish I could just die rather than endure one more second of this. I want Filson’s nuts on a platter.

  “Okay, that's me. I'll see you later, Morin.” There seems to be a lot less spring in Filson's step as he leaves us.

  I’m issued my beige jumpsuit and finally allowed to put it on. “Huh, I thought they were orange.”

  “No, sorry to disappoint.” She leads me to my cell. I’m trying not to cry, it’s all pretty scary. I say very little and the guard returns the favor.

  “I’m sorry about him, he’s just an asshole.” She looks back at me with a sad smile; she stops in front of my cell and gets in closer. “Keep your head down, listen to instructions from the guards and avoid everyone in here. All of these ‘ladies’ are in here for violent crimes, just like yours. These women have the desire and capacity to truly hurt a person. You’d be wise to remember that.”

  With those parting words I walk into the cell carrying my bedroll.

  A rough looking woman in her forties rolls over on the top bunk. “Hey, stay quiet and keep your fucking hands to yourself and I won’t kill you.”

  “Noted,” I say and make my bed. Jesus Christ, Eli, where are you? You need to get me out of here!

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Donkey Punch to the Heart

  Trish

  My phone goes flying across the room. “Fuck.” Billy still won’t answer. It’s been two days. My phone rings. I scramble to the general direction that I threw it and frantically follow the sound of the ringing. Once I find it I look at the screen. Disappointment mixed with a bit of anger fills me at seeing Raphael’s name on the screen.

  I’m not going into the office, I already sent him an email. I’m a fucking mess. This whole thing with Shay and Billy has me crazy, to the point of barely coherent. I’m certainly not up for answering phones or trying to figure out how many different ways to piss in Raphael’s coffee.

  I sit back on the couch and check my phone again for any text messages. I hear the sound of the doorknob being rattled. I stand when the door opens. “Billy!” I run to him and throw my arms around him.

  He pushes me away like he smells something bad. He won’t look me in the eye. “I just need to get a few things.”

  “Billy, you don’t have to go. Let’s talk about this,” I plead, following him to the bedroom.

  “Yeah, I gotta go.” He still doesn’t look at me.

  I tug at his shirt trying to get his attention. “Come on Billy, you don’t want to go.” I try to put a sexy tone in my voice. I’ll do anything to keep him here.

  “Get off me.” He pushes me hard, I stumble backward.

  “What the fuck, Billy?” When I recover I grab his arm to stop him from packing.

  He throws me off his arm and I go backward again. “I said get off me.” His voice booms in my ear and vibrates in my heart.

  “No, I’m not going to let you go.” I pick up my cell phone to call Shay. She needs to take it all back so he won’t leave.

  When he sees me dialing the phone he moves in on me fast, pinning me against the wall. “Who are you calling?”

  “I’m calling Shay so she can straighten this whole thing out.” I’m feeling a little scared with how forceful he’s being.

  “No, I don’t think so.” He takes the phone from my hand and smashes it up against the wall, being sure he’s broken it.

  Fear has sealed my mouth shut. I’m genuinely terrified. This is a side of Billy I’ve not really seen before. He leans down and kisses me rough and forceful. It hurts, my head is pressed hard against the wall and his hands are around my neck. I feel like I’m choking on his tongue, I can’t breathe. I try to fight him off, but he’s just too big. Hopelessness fills me and my vision is blurring. I’m starting to lose consciousness.

  Billy releases me and I gasp for air. I can only look up at him. “Billy?”

  “Shut the fuck up. I can’t believe how stupid you are.” He walks away and I slide down the wall from lack of strength in my legs to stand.

  “I don’t understand,” I cry.

  “Of course you don’t, you’re a self-centered moron that's obviously been donkey-punched one too many times.” He looks at me with disgust in his eyes. “I’ve never wanted you. Every word Shay said to you was the truth. I’ve only tolerated your stinking gash to get near her.” He continues to load clothes into his bag. “I can hardly believe how easily you fell for it. Were it not for you I would have never been able to get that close to Shay.”

  He stops for a moment and starts making motions like he’s holding Shay, smelling her hair and dancing with her. “I couldn’t have been with her like I was.” Billy turns on me, causing me to flinch.

  “It really was me who took her,” he says with pride. “It was me that cut her, marked her and made her mine.” He looks away, then back to me. “She’ll be mine forever, you know.” The sick gleam in his eye is scaring the ever living shit out of me. It's also become very apparent that I may not survive this encounter. He just told me he did it, he just implicated himself. Yeah, he's going to kill me and I need to come to terms with my end.

  “Billy, listen—” He cuts me off, grabbing my throat again.

  “No, you listen to me, you stupid little smegma hound. If you say one fucking word to anyone about this, I’ll cut your dead black heart out and eat it, just like I did with Kevin.” His breath is heavy on my skin. My life ekes from me with the realization of his confession. “You hear me?”

  I can’t move or speak. The life force drains from me by way of this emotional wound he just inflicted on me. I’m rendered unable to process basic thoughts.

  He slams my head against the wall, still holding my neck. “Do you hear me?”

  I nod and try to speak through my dry mouth. “Yes.” It comes out as a croak.

  “Good.” He zips his bag and walks out the door, leaving me broken and crying on the floor.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Transfer

  Eli

  Someone’s shaking my shoulder. “Eli.” I hear Jason’s voice.

  I slept in the chair last night in the police station lobby. Jesus my neck is aching. “Hey Jason, have we heard anything?”

  “Yeah, they transferred her to county last night and finally booked her.”

  “What?” That wakes me up fast. “What about bail?”

  “They pushed everything through. No bail.” Jason sits across from me, pinching the bridge of his nose.

  “Oh shit, they’ve transferred her to county already?” This is bad, very bad.

  “Yeah, and it’s been made abundantly clear that you are not going to be involved in the defense. I got my ass handed to me by Judge Cole.” He rolls his eyes. “That greasy bastard.”

  “They can’t do that.” I’m so pissed off, the outrage is pouring through me.

  “They can and they did.” He leans back in the chair.

  “How?”

  “You’re under review, Eli. You could lose your bar card.” He looks me hard in the eye. “This is important, so really listen to me. Be on your best behavior, that’s what you can do right now, do as you are told. I’ll get you in as often as possible. But it isn’t like they don’t know you up there.”

  “I know, I’m just pissed because it’s all video chat up there. I won’t be able to be in the same room. I’ll be longing for three inches of glass between us
.” My stomach cinches at the thought of not being able to touch her.

  “When is the initial PC hearing?” They can’t keep me from that.

  “Not sure, the DA’s office has asked for more time to enter additional charges.” He pulls his phone out and hands it to me. “Here’s what they’ve let me see so far in respect to evidence.”

  The phone displays a photograph of Aiden’s truck surrounded by palmetto bushes looking pretty rough and blood is visible on the seat, windows and floor. “Fuck.”

  “Fuck is right.” He blows out a breath. “I’m going to keep Bob on second chair, but I need you behind the scenes. Can you handle that?”

  “Of course, I need her to be okay. Who’s the prosecutor?” Please God don’t let it be Rumler.

  “Preston put Rumler on it.” Jason says, wincing.

  “Fuck Rumler, he’s a smug asshole, but he’s good.”

  “Did you hear that Preston is taking a leave of absence?” Jason asks.

  “No, why did he do that?” This isn’t good; Preston at least cares about her and would see to it that Shay gets a fair trial.

  “I’m not sure, word is there was some pressure from above.” He rolls his eyes.

  “We’ve got to get her out of there.” I look at him with serious eyes to drive home the point.

  “That’s the plan. I’m going to request another bail hearing, but we’ve got work to do. We’ve got a lot of evidence to sift through. They’ve already started delivering it to the office and Genie says we’re going to need to bring the dolly up from storage.” He stands from the chair and buttons his jacket. “So why don’t you go home, get a shower and meet me at the office and let’s start going over the evidence. I’ll be meeting with her later today and I’d like to have some news.” He starts for the door then turns around. “Any word on Harry?”

  “Yeah, he’s doing okay. They are keeping him for observation.” I look across the lobby to see the chair Carl was sleeping in empty. I scan the room for any sign of him or McNab. “They’ll probably let him out tomorrow.”

  “Okay, we’re going to need him too.” He continues for the door. “See you in about an hour and half?”

  “Sooner.”

  Chapter Forty

  Don't Touch My Shit

  Shay

  Yeah, so shit just keeps getting worse. I’ve been in here for a little over a week. It’s not as bad as in the movies, but their intake process leaves a great deal to be desired. The shit they use here in the shower makes me long for a lavender gift basket. I came from one sense of violation to another and I’m left wondering if I’m ever going to be able to take a shit alone again. Did I mention that beige wasn’t my color?

  Carl just told me to go with the flow of everything and not to make waves with the guards or the inmates. My grand strategy is to shut the fuck up and stay that way. I’m trying not to wear my grief on my sleeve, but I know Filson wouldn’t have been able to get things this far if they didn’t have a strong case and enough evidence to get the grand jury to indict me for Aiden's murder.

  Jason is doing everything he can to get me out, but the reality is I’m going to be here for a while. Nothing short of a miracle can help me. I’ll adapt and cope. Ha, not even I believe that.

  The familiar smell of rotten eggs and death permeates the jail cell. I look upward to where my cellmate is lying asleep. I'm hoping she doesn’t wake up. Shit, she’s starting to stir.

  In the dark I see only the outline of her lean over the side of her bed. “Hello there my love, have you missed me?” It’s him, he’s in her.

  Don’t panic Shay, just don’t panic. Don’t let him shake you. “Go away.”

  “Oh my love, don’t be so cruel. It does pain me so to see you like this, pent up and unable to come out and play.” His oily voice makes my stomach turn.

  “Go away,” I hiss, wanting him to just release her.

  “It means I have no choice but to play with your toys while you’re away.” The Specter, in the body of my cellmate, swings down off the top bunk and leans down next to me. “You know I have you all to myself.” He runs his finger down along my jawline affectionately.

  Instant sickness hits me and the powdered eggs, still sitting heavy in my stomach from breakfast, threaten to come up. “Go away.”

  He leans down close to my ear and breathes heavy into it. “I watched you, I saw you with him. I want that, I want you to ride me and lose yourself with me inside you. Won’t you let me inside you?”

  I push him away and stand from my bunk. “I will never be with you.”

  The inmate next door yells out, “Jesus, she’s lonely. Just close your eyes and pretend it’s your man. Then maybe we can get some sleep.”

  A wicked grin spreads across his borrowed face as he gets close to me again. “Come on, don’t you want to pretend you’re with him again?” He pauses when he reaches me. “Because you know you’ll never be with him again.”

  “Leave Eli alone.” I’m sure that me getting upset at the mere mention of Eli does nothing for his safety or my sanity. He’s getting the better of me and I have to not be lured into this exercise in futility.

  He strokes my hair and looks into my eyes; it’s so strange, it’s as though I can see Savannah crying inside her own eyes. I look a little deeper. “That, my love, is where you are wrong. Captain Righteous is far from Lily-white. He has just as many dark secrets as…me.”

  I throw his hands off me again and push him to the wall. “Don’t you dare touch him or I’ll cut your fucking throat.”

  “Little boy blue eyes will make quite the trophy.” His grin is sickening and I want to cut it right off his face.

  I inhale a deep breath. I just assaulted her; if she realizes what I’ve done to her she’ll be pissed at me. I lay back down on the bed, ignoring his taunts.

  “Eli certainly misses you now. But for how much longer? How long before another ‘Taffy’ comes into the picture.” He goads me, still using Savannah’s body and voice. It’s really fucking with my head.

  He’s getting more agitated the more I ignore him. “Come on, my love, won’t you play with me?” He kneels down beside the bed and I continue to stare straight up, not acknowledging him. He puts his hand on my belly and runs it up to my breast. This is so wrong on so many levels. I’m trying to push away the feeling of violation. All I want to do is kick him away from me. But I don’t want to hurt Savannah. I can’t win.

  “Or maybe I could just have a little fun with her.” His hands move to his own breasts, and he moans at the pleasure of his own touch. Good, at least he’s not touching me. “Or, I could have my kind of fun.” He reaches deep under her mattress and pulls out a makeshift knife and holds it to her throat.

  This has my attention; I can’t let him hurt her. I don’t care why Savannah’s here, she doesn’t deserve this. “Just leave. I’m not going to do anything while I’m in here. If you’re so eager to play, why don’t you do something to get me out?”

  “Is that all I have to do, get you out of here?” he asks curiously.

  “Yeah, I’m not going to play in here. Kill her. But you’ll never really get anything from me. I’m going to do whatever it takes to be good and get out as soon as I can. If you’re going to be the one to keep me in here, I won’t ever come out and play,” I say, raising my eyebrows to drive the point home, hoping that he hears the promise but not the emptiness of it.

  Savannah collapses to the ground and the Specter’s form disappears into a puff of smoke. It’s the same every night and a couple of times a day. Savannah is startled awake. “What the fuck? How did I end up down here?” she asks, rubbing the back of her head.

  “You were sleepwalking again. We should consider switching bunks, it might be safer.” And I might stop banging my damn head.

  Savannah climbs back into her bunk. “Nice try, Shay, but I prefer top.”

  “Yeah, yeah, go to sleep.”

  ***

  I’ve been able to open the portal to the void a fe
w times now. I know I could go through, but the last thing I need is to have a random bed check while I’m off fighting evil. As soon as I’m out of here, I’m going in and I’m going to kill him. Put an end to this.

  On schedule, thoughts of Aiden come wafting through my mind. I know Eli is working day and night trying to get me out. Truth is, Aiden is the only one that can actually make it happen. I miss him. I really miss him.

  Even though I’ve made my choice and want to be with Eli, I don’t want Aiden to be dead. It isn’t even that I want him near, but I want him to be okay. I’d love to learn of an alternate reality where he’s very happy somewhere, in love with a beautiful woman who can love him how he needs to be loved. How I was never able to.

  With my eyes closed I focus on my thoughts of Aiden. I’ve been doing this every night. In some ways it helps me feel closer to him. Even if he’s gone he’ll know I’m reaching out to him. I picture his face, imagine his smell, it’s all so real. I just chant over and over, “I need you Aiden. I need you.”

  Chapter Forty-One

  All Apologies

  Shay

  “Baynes, visiting time.” The guard calls out to me in the common room.

  I’m a little surprised; Jason said he wasn’t coming back for a few more days, that he’d brief me before our next hearing. When I reach the guard by the door I smile and joke, “I hope this is good, I’ve only seen this episode of The Cosby Show twice.”

  Officer Morin, the only guard who for whatever reason doesn’t hate me, says, “You’re funny. I like that, Baynes.”

  She escorts me to the video room where I sit and smile for the camera, pretending that everything’s great. I have to keep a good face for Eli. I know he’s doing all he can. I haven’t told him about the Specter’s nightly visits. But Carl knows.

  The image that appears on the screen shocks the hell out of me. “Trish?”