Bend ~ Molly McLain

by McLain, Molly

  Fucking hell, I’m in over my head, and that scares the shit out of me.

  “It’s okay,” she whispers in my ear as her hands slide up and down my back.

  Her gentle touch and soothing voice numb the fear that aches in my chest, and I drop my head to her shoulder, sucking in breath after breath of nothing but her.

  She presses a kiss to my neck, and just holds me. I don’t know how long we stand there—seconds, minutes, an hour—but they’re the most peaceful moments I’ve had in years, and I feel the bands of resistance slowly begin to tear inside of me.

  “I’m sorry,” I finally tell her, my voice cracking. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “I wasn’t scared.” She nuzzles closer. “I’m never afraid when I’m with you.”

  Jesus. “You might not feel that way for long.”

  “Not likely, but there’s only one way to find out for sure.” Toeing up, she presses a soft kiss to my lips. “I trust you, Trent. I promise you can trust me, too.”

  Yeah, well . . .”My old man’s in prison, princess. Has been since I was eight-years-old.” Not the most trustworthy family tree, but what can I do? It’s the one I’m fucking stuck with.

  She nods, never taking her eyes off of mine. “Okay. He must’ve done something pretty bad.”

  “Sexually assaulted a woman outside of a strip club.”

  Her mouth forms a little O, and I grimace.

  “Not pretty, princess, but that’s not even the worst part.” I wait for another negative reaction, but she brushes her fingers against the side of my face instead.

  “Okay,” she says, wetting her lips. “Go on.”

  “A bouncer from the club heard her screaming and, when he tried to intervene, my old man drove a six-inch switchblade into his chest. He died at the scene, and my dad ran.”

  “Oh, God, Trent . . .” She throws her arms around me again, squeezes tight, and absolutely blows my mind. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

  I pull back and blink down at her, positive I’m imagining this. She’s comforting me?

  “The cops showed up at my house the next afternoon. Cuffed him in bed while my brothers and I watched Nickelodeon. I found his bloody flannel when I took the trash out the next day. Mom brought me down to the police station, so I could turn it in, and they gave me a pair of fake handcuffs.”

  Tears seep into her eyes and she does nothing to hide them or stop them from slipping down her cheeks. Just waits for me to finish.

  “Your dad was one of the arresting officers, princess. He was also the cop I talked to that day at the station, telling him how and where I found the shirt. My old man had already confessed, so they didn’t need the additional evidence, but your dad still patted me on the head. Told me I did a good job and that I’d make a great cop someday.”

  Her face crumples as she cries, and twenty-four years worth of weight slides off my shoulders.

  “I’m a monster’s son, princess, and you belong to a hero.” The ache in my chest throbs all over again, but it’s the most liberating feeling I’ve felt in a long time. “Your dad will never let us be more than we’ve already been.”

  She sucks in a shaky breath and lifts her tear-soaked gaze to mine. “One, I don’t belong to anyone. Two, I decide my fate, just like you’ve decided yours.”

  “I—”

  She interrupts me with a finger to the lips. “You’re not him, and you never will be.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Yes, I do,” she says adamantly. “You’re a protector, Trent. You’ve proven that to this city for years, and you promise me the same every time you touch me.”

  I don’t know about that. “I’m selfish, Kinsey, and I sure as fuck don’t want anyone else to have you. That’s not protection, that’s greed.”

  I thought I wanted sex. Just a few wild, mindless nights where I could turn myself over to someone else and let them own me, if only for a little while.

  What I really craved was trust. A connection. Something deeper than I’d ever let myself have before.

  Trent gives me that.

  I don’t know how it happened. Or why. I’ve always been attracted to his arrogant cop attitude, but the man behind the badge is ten times more appealing. He’s real. He’s damaged. And he has the biggest heart.

  I know he’s scared. I am, too. But I’m not afraid of him. I’m afraid that I’m falling for a man who may never realize how amazing he is. A man who may never accept himself enough to welcome how I feel about him.

  “Do you realize how strong you are?” I ask quietly, brushing my fingertip across his lips. “How aware and honest and brave?”

  He gives a shaky laugh and shifts his gaze from mine.

  Gripping his chin, I turn him back to me, but he closes his eyes. “Look at me.”

  “Kinsey, come on.”

  “Trent . . .” I’m going to win this battle; I don’t care how hard I have to work for it. “What’s it going to take for you to let me in?”

  “I’ve already let you in,” he says, jaw clenched. “You just can’t stay.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because, damn it.” He backs away, frustration etched in the lines of his face. “I’m not the kind of guy a girl bakes cookies for—I’m the kind she calls when she needs her hair pulled or her ass smacked.”

  “Well, then. I didn’t know that guys who like sex had such distaste for baked goods. Guess you learn something new everyday.”

  “You know what I mean!” His face turns red and he spins toward the kitchen, hands in his hair.

  “Actually, I don’t.” I follow after him, tug the lid off the cookies, and take a bite from one. “Because I like cookies, almost as much as I like it when you slam me up against the wall. Like you can’t wait another second to have me.”

  He watches me from beneath his eyelashes, nostrils flaring. “This isn’t funny.”

  “Oh, I know it’s not.” I take another bite, loving how his steely gaze shifts to my mouth. “We can be a bunch of different things all at once, Trent. We aren’t limited to just one.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I can be your booty call and your friend at the same time. You can have both of those things from me.”

  “I don’t want you to be my fucking booty call, Kinsey.”

  “Then tell me what you want me to be.”

  His eyes are on my mouth again, so I lick my lips, hoping it’ll help him along.

  “Maybe I want to take you out.”

  “On a date?”

  His cheeks flush and his jaw ticks, but eventually he nods. “Yeah.”

  “I would love for you to take me out.”

  “Even knowing what you know?”

  “Especially knowing that.”

  “Kinsey . . .” Something painful flashes in his eyes and he tips his head to the side, silently pleading with me.

  If he won’t listen to me, I guess I’ll have to show him.

  Putting down the cookie, I wedge myself between him and the table. “There isn’t a single thing about you that I don’t like. In fact . . .” My hand rises to my chest, covering the ache that’s settled there. “Most of the things I really, really like.”

  He shakes his head, and I press my hand to the center of his chest, knowing that what I’m about to say will split me wide open.

  I say it anyway.

  “It’s possible that I’m already falling in love with those things.”

  “Baby . . .” Trent’s head drops to mine, hope and fear at war in his eyes. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

  “I do.” This time, I’m the one who pleads. “Let me love you. Please. I promise it won’t hurt.”

  “It already does.”

  “But it’s the good kind. The kind that comes with opening up. In trusting someone else.” I tap my fingertips against my chest. “The kind you feel right here.”

  He lifts his hands and curls them gently around my neck. “Why would you wan
t to love a guy like me, princess? Why?”

  “Oh, Sergeant . . . why wouldn’t I?”

  “Stay with me tonight.” In all of my thirty-one years, I’ve never said those words to a woman. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve crashed at someone else’s place, but I’ve never woken up with company in my own bed, and there’s a reason for that. My space is my space, and when I need to breathe, I need to breathe.

  Right now, I need as much of Kinsey as she’ll let me have. If I’m lucky, my craving for her will at least be tolerable by morning. If not, we’re both calling in sick. I don’t give a damn.

  “I’ll stay as long as you want me to,” she says, brushing her lips across mine. “Just tell me what you need.”

  “All of you,” I rasp, the raw vulnerability in my voice so foreign. Being this transparent with someone is unchartered territory for me, but I know Kinsey’s not weak. If she thinks she can handle my demons, I have no choice but to trust her. Like she trusts me.

  “Okay.” Her smile is so friggin’ pretty. So real. Every time she shines that light on me, I swear it hits the deepest part of my soul, warming me from the inside out.

  “Come on.” Taking her hand, I shut off the kitchen light and TV, before leading her down the hall to my temporary bedroom. Another three weeks and the work on my townhouse will be complete, and then I can make love to Kinsey in a real bed. For now, we get Trav’s old college furniture.

  “Cozy,” Kinsey says, when I click on the bedside lamp. “I would’ve pegged you for a black comforter kind of guy.”

  Chuckling, I kick my shoes into the corner, and then toss the ratty quilt from the end of the bed on the floor. “We won’t be needing that.”

  “No?”

  “Uh uh.” Snagging her by the hem of her shirt, I pull her to me, tug the cotton over her head, and toss it next to the blanket. Her hair falls from a messy bun, spilling across her shoulders and down over the pillows of flesh plumping out above her bra. Black and lavender lace. Pretty sure I saw it on a mannequin in the store, but it’s a million times sexier on a woman with real curves. “Fucking gorgeous,” I murmur, palming a full breast in each hand and loving how quickly her nipple beads for me. “Haven’t seen these yet.”

  “I know.” Her hands do a little exploring of their own, sliding beneath the back hem of my T-shirt and slowing gliding up to my shoulder blades. “Can I?” she asks, gently pushing the fabric higher.

  “Only if I can, too.” The sweetest blush creeps into her cheeks when I lift my arms and let her undress me.

  She gasps the second the shirt is gone, then her fingers and hot mouth are pressed against my skin, loving every inch of dark ink that covers my shoulder and bicep. I want my mouth on her, too, but I let her do her thing, working her way to my back, knowing the best part is yet to come.

  “Oh, my God.” She sucks in a sharp breath when she sees it and I drop my chin to my chest, grinning. “Transit umbra, lux permanet,” she says, reading the script across my shoulders. “Shadow passes, light remains. I love it! Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Figured you’d see it eventually. Wanted to enjoy the reaction.”

  “It’s absolutely perfect.” She continues on her journey, marking her territory with soft, sensual kisses until she’s back in front of me. I could let her love on me all night, because Kinsey’s touch is quickly becoming one of my favorite luxuries, but there are things I want to treat her to, as well.

  “You good now?” I tease, and she laughs.

  “For a little while.”

  “Thank fuck,” I growl, quickly replacing her fancy bra with my hands and mouth.

  “Oh, God . . .” Her head falls back when I suck a pretty pink nipple between my lips and roll the other between my thumb and forefinger. Her fingers drive back into my hair, holding on tight, as I work her until she’s shaking from head to toe. “You’re so cruel,” she moans, and I smile against her wet flesh.

  “Yeah? Why’s that?”

  “You know why. I’m going to come before you even get my pants off.”

  “Well, let me remedy that then.” In less than thirty seconds, we’re both naked and breathless. “Better?”

  She nods, but her eyes are glued to my cock. “I don’t think I can wait.”

  A low chuckle rumbles in my chest. “Such a greedy little thing.”

  “You’ve made me this way.”

  “Have I now?” Wrapping a hand around my cock, I stroke it from tip to root and back again, squeezing out a bit of pre-cum, as she watches with rapt fascination. “You want it?”

  “Fuck, yes.” Her tongue swirls around my cock before her knees even hit the floor, licking my jizz away like it’s fucking dessert. She’s so goddamn pretty with my cock in her mouth, stretching her lips wide, but I want a deeper connection tonight. I want to make Kinsey mine.

  “Come here, baby.” Hauling her to her feet, I slide an arm around her waist and lift her off the ground. Her mouth is on mine in an instant, and it’s go-time. No more playing around. No more teasing.

  Her pussy, already so fucking wet, slides against my dick as she rocks her hips, trying for that perfect friction against her clit.

  “That what you want, princess? You want to come on my cock before I even get inside?”

  She doesn’t answer. At least not with words. Instead, she wraps her arms around my neck and rises up just enough to take me home with one quick glide.

  “Holy fuck, babe . . .” All I can feel is Kinsey. Wrapped around my waist, my neck, my shaft . . . It’s the most intense feeling, knowing there’s nothing between us, physically or emotionally. I could live in this moment, connected to her in the most intimate way. Closer than I’ve ever been with anyone.

  “Make love to me,” she whispers, locking her dark gaze on mine, telling me without words this time that she has more faith in me than I ever have.

  “Like this? You sure?”

  She nods and that last band of resistance snaps in my chest.

  I lay her down on the bed and I take a leap of faith.

  I trust myself to be the man she needs. The man she wants.

  The man I never thought I could be.

  “FORGOT TO SEND YOU THAT picture last week.” Will drops a grainy eight by ten image on my desk Wednesday morning. “Figured you must’ve been too busy playing cops and robbers with Kinsey to remember.”

  I flip him off with one hand and pick up the image with the other. “Ten bucks says this woman wasn’t born that way.”

  “Huh?” Will comes around my desk and I point to the blonde’s Adam’s apple. It’s not huge, but it’s there, just like the dick she’s probably got hanging between her legs. “Well, I’ll be damned.”

  “I can see how you’d miss that.” Leaning back in my chair, I wink. “I know you like ’em with a little hair on their chest.”

  “Fuck you, Clark.” He smacks me on the back of the head, as Dez strolls in looking like shit warmed over. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”

  “Don’t goddamn yell!” My buddy drops into his chair, and immediately yanks open a drawer, pulling out a bottle of ibuprofen. He downs at least six with a swig of coffee, then closes his eyes and groans. “Never,” he grumbles, “and I mean never, go clubbing with Vanessa and her friends. They’re crazy. Every last fucking one of them.”

  “Vanessa?” Will frowns, looking from Dez to me.

  “Front desk.”

  “I could’ve told you that, dumbass. She’s, what, twenty-two?”

  Dez lifts a hand like it takes all of his energy and gives Will the finger. “Go back to where you came from, asshole.”

  Will chuckles and glances back to me. “I actually do have to run. Just wanted to get that pic to you, in case something comes up.”

  “Thanks.” Hopefully, Kinsey will see something from last night on the cameras. I like spending time with her, but now that we’re officially seeing each other, I’d like to wrap up this case so we talk about her panties, not the one’s missing from t
he store.

  Will makes a quick exit, and Dez moans and groans as he digs his phone from his pocket.

  “Look at this shit,” he says, thumbing around before he hands the cell over. “Have you ever seen anything like it?”

  I grab the phone and . . . holy shit. “Is that Vanny?” With her lips wrapped around another chick’s tit?

  “Yep, and that’s Gwen, her friend-with-benefits. They tried talking me into joining them, but . . .”

  “But what? Gwen looks pretty hot with all that purple hair.”

  “She is. She’s also batshit fucking crazy, so I passed. Wasn’t sure I’d make it out with my dick still attached.”

  Snorting, I scroll through the next few pictures, each of them just as off-the-wall as the last, which surprises me because this shit isn’t Dez’s cup of tea. Used to be back in the day, but that was half a lifetime ago.

  “Nothing wrong with cutting loose every now and again. Just don’t let Captain catch you hung-over like this. He may be on his way out the door, but he’ll still pinch your ass, and it won’t be the kind you like either.”

  Dez grunts and reaches for his patrol keys. “I’m going to go park my ass somewhere and take a nap.”

  Not ideal, but probably for the best. “See you at five, man.”

  He grumbles under his breath and waves me off as my phone rings.

  Kinsey.

  I wait until Dez is out of earshot before I stick the cell to my ear. “Morning, beautiful.”

  “Hey, handsome. I think I’ve got what you need.”

  Hell, yes, she does. “You don’t know how ridiculously hot that sounded.”

  “Yeah, I do,” she laughs. “Now get your sexy ass over here so I can show you.”

  “Hey, Sergeant.” I lean up and give him a big smacking kiss as soon as we’re alone in my office. “You got here fast.”

  “Missed you. In fact, I was hoping I could talk you into coming over later.”