“I don’t know. I’m really overwhelmed, Mase. I just want to go home and be by myself for a little while. There’s nothing wrong. I promise.” She stepped into the bathroom and shut the door.
Mason called his driver. He had fifteen minutes to convince Laura to stay before Smith got to the building. Before he even opened his mouth, Laura opened the door and blew by him into the living room.
She didn’t want to talk. Suddenly the room was suffocating. She grabbed her purse off the kitchen counter and was blocked from leaving by a sexy, half-dressed Brit.
“I’m going to ask you one more time, Laura.” Mason spoke very lowly and sternly. “What is the matter?” Too many possible scenarios rushed through his head, none of which were good. He needed to understand why Laura was suddenly so flighty.
“Fine. You want to know?” She tossed her bag back on the counter. “I can’t breathe, Mason! The security, the incessant phone calls and emails, showing up just to check on me and then leaving – it’s all making me nuts!” Laura sucked in a breath. The anxiety was spreading through her chest. “I understand your concern, and I appreciate it, but Frank’s in jail, and I need space.”
Mason’s face settled into a mask of calm, but inside he was aching. “That’s fair. I have been a little paranoid–”
“You think?” Laura interrupted.
Mason scowled. “But after the stalking and you keeping it from me, which by the way hurt that you couldn’t trust me, I just feel overprotective.”
Laura gaped at him. “You want to make this about you? Come on, Mason. You’re better than that.” He wasn’t the one with a crazy ex-lover.
“My feelings don’t matter then? This all happened to you, yes, but I was hurt, and you seem to always dance around the topic. I have been supportive and have gone above and beyond for you because of this. Hell, I respected your wishes initially, and things ended up in a clusterfuck. You hurt me, Laura, and I’m just supposed to deal with it?”
Laura fumed. She didn’t know what to say. On one hand, she had hurt him. It wasn’t intentional, but it had happened. On the other, she felt like it wasn’t his problem to deal with. “I don’t feel like talking tonight. Please excuse me so I can go home.”
Mason stepped aside. “Okay. Go on home. I do expect to talk about this soon though.” He tipped her head up and kissed her on the mouth, a long, slow kiss to keep her mind on him that night.
Laura pulled back, breathless, and looked into his eyes. “Thank you, Mason. Good night.” And she took off down the hallway before she changed her mind. There was something in his kiss that turned her into jelly. Staying with Mason that night was not a good idea when she already felt so gun shy.
***
Mason plodded back into his bedroom and dropped onto the edge of the bed. He opened the locked bedside table and extracted a small, teal-colored box. He turned it over in his hands. The hope and promise of finally making it with Laura was tucked away inside the tiny cube.
He opened the package, and for the twentieth time since he’d bought it three weeks earlier, he rehearsed what he wanted to say. He stared at the diamond ring, a symbol of the future he was so ready to finally get started. For the first time since he and Laura had reconnected, Mason felt that future hanging on by a thread.
With a sigh, he replaced the ring in its box and locked it back up. His heart was heavy as he went to bed that night, but his hands were tied. He had learned that in order to get her to stay, she had to come to him. This time, he wasn’t so sure he wanted to play that game anymore.
***
Laura trudged up to her apartment building, emotionally and mentally tanked. By the time she reached the elevator it was nearly one in the morning. She leaned against the up button and waited.
All of her senses were on high alert. In the last month she had become increasingly more paranoid rather than less. Part of that may have been due to Mason’s diligence. With a sigh she boarded the elevator and pushed the “4” button to get to her floor.
Mason had offered to pay for her new place. The gesture was sweet, and she was grateful for his offer, but she had to turn it down. She really didn’t want to feel obligated to him in any way, in case the relationship imploded. She was even more grateful for him not asking her to just move in with him. That would have sent her screaming in the other direction.
The elevator doors slid open, and to Laura’s chagrin, Roy was leaning against her doorway. So much for space. “Hey, Roy. Did you go on that date with Tammy?”
He nodded his blond head. “I did. It went really well. We’re going out again next Saturday. That is, if I’m not called away again.” He cocked an eyebrow and narrowed his gaze. It was easy to see that he wasn’t pleased to deal with Mason tonight either.
“I’m guessing Mason called you out here. How long do you plan on staying?” Please say five minutes!
“Just long enough to sweep your apartment and make sure you’re ‘tucked in for the night.’” he used air quotes around the last comment.
“I am so sorry.” Laura turned her keys in the lock and pushed the door open. No alarm bells sounded in her head, but a pounding had started.
Roy crossed the foyer and checked out the sparsely decorated living room, opening closets and cabinets. After a quick check of her bedroom and bathroom Roy gave the all clear thumbs up. “All good. Get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” He turned towards the door to leave.
“Wait. Tomorrow? It’s Saturday. You’ve never had to babysit me on a Saturday.”
Roy spread his hands in a mea culpa. “I’m only following the boss’s orders. I hope you didn’t have plans.”
Laura sighed and raked her hands through her disheveled blonde hair. “No. Well, not anymore.” Here’s to rescheduling with Jill again. She and Mason were supposed to double date with Jill and her boyfriend, Craig, at the Guggenheim. Since taking a breather was first priority, no date with Mason.
“You know what? Fuck it. I’m meeting my friend and her boyfriend at the Guggenheim at eleven tomorrow, and then we’re having lunch after. It’s not your or their fault Mason’s being a crazy person.” She realized her purse was still over her shoulder and she was wearing her jacket. She was so tired she would have slept in the whole get-up. She chucked her bag on the black leather Ikea couch.
“Be here by ten. See you in the morning, Roy.” She walked her bodyguard to the door and showed him out. After he left she locked the three deadbolts and stumbled to her room. She had intended to shut her phone off to charge, when she saw she had a text from Mason. “Ugh! What?!”
Sleep tight. I love you
“Thank God.” That was it, just a goodnight text. Great. She powered down and plugged in her charger. Sleep was calling, and she felt compelled to answer.
Chapter Forty Two
“Where’s your honey?” Jill asked. It was a gorgeous January day in New York City. The sun was shining, and the freezing rain was nowhere in sight. The landscape would be perfect if not for the gross gray slush piled in the corners of the streets and sidewalks.
“He couldn’t make it. This is Roy, my heavy.” There was no point in trying to hide the relationship. The last thing she needed was her friends thinking she was cheating or hiding something.
“Heavy? Like a bodyguard? I thought all that mess was over with.” Jill’s amber-colored eyes scanned over Roy, taking him in. She took a step backward. Being only half his size, it was easy to be intimidated.
“Yeah. He was Mason’s idea. He just wants me to stay safe until after Frank gets sentenced. Things should go back to normal after that.” Laura glanced up at her shadow. She was going to miss him when his tenure was done. Roy was a beacon of sanity in her life at that moment.
“Good deal. Can we hit the museum now? I’m dying to see the Frank Lloyd Wright exhibit,” Craig chimed in. Jill’s boyfriend was only slightly taller than she was. As a bit of a hipster, his dark hair was always cut in the latest fashion. Today he had it combed over into a pro
hibition style. A thick, yet well-groomed beard had grown on his face in the months since Laura had seen him last.
“Yeah. Let’s go. Do any of you want to grab coffee first?” Laura asked. She wanted to caffeinate so badly, but judging by Craig’s scowl, his patience was waning and the answer was no. “Never mind. Let’s go inside.”
***
“Oh man, Craig. Your face when you saw that sign was priceless!” Laura and Jill were having a good laugh at poor Craig’s expense. They’d showed up at the exhibit only to find it roped off for maintenance – for the next two weeks.
“It’s not funny, guys,” Craig pouted. He had been looking forward to seeing the FLW exhibit for over a month.
“I’m sorry, baby.” Jill reached out and gave her boyfriend a peck on the cheek. “The good news is, we saw all of those amazing built-in sculptures. Those were kind of like architecture.” Jill knew she was reaching, but she hated seeing Craig disappointed.
“Let’s just go get brunch.” Craig pulled away from the group and headed for The Wright, hoping a strong coffee and a pile of eggs would make him feel less cranky.
Jill and Laura looked at each other and howled in laughter. “Craig is so sensitive today. What’s going on?” Laura asked.
“He’s going through a weird phase. He’s become so neurotic about everything from the way he looks to how the house is arranged. He’s spending too much time on Instagram,” Jill explained flippantly.
“Huh. Keeping up with the Joneses is going to kill him if he doesn’t let that stuff go.” The two women continued chatting until they met with Craig in the restaurant lobby. Roy had been keeping a fair distance behind them, letting the two women catch up and enjoy themselves.
He was surprised he had actually enjoyed himself. Laura was friendly and kept inviting him to join in with what she and her friends were doing, but he had to maintain that professional distance. So he would read a pamphlet or hang back in the corner of the room to keep an eye on every entrance and potential hiding place. The odds that anything would happen were virtually none, but he didn’t want to let his guard down.
“Shit,” Laura hissed. Mason had settled himself at their reserved table. He looked up from his menu and waved at the group when he noticed them coming in.
“What’s the matter?” Jill murmured. “Shouldn’t you be happy to see your own boyfriend?”
Laura sucked in a breath. She could already feel the anxiety roiling in her belly. She hoped they had something stronger than coffee on the menu here. “I asked him to back off a little and let me breathe. Mason’s been suffocating me lately.”
“Right this way.” Their leggy hostess led the four of them over to meet Mason. Roy hung back and sat in the lobby.
“Hey, Mase.” Laura plastered on a tense smile. She had been enjoying herself until then. “What are you doing here? I thought you had to work.” She flashed him a look that was pure venom.
“I thought I’d meet you all here for brunch. I finished what needed to be done.” He stood and pulled out first Laura’s chair, then Jill’s. When he sat back down he leaned in close to whisper in Laura’s ear, “I felt bad about last night. I want to make it up to you.”
Despite her annoyance, heat crept down between her legs. His voice alone managed to tease her innermost erotic places. If she didn’t love it so much, she would be embarrassed.
Jill eyed Mason with a healthy dose of skepticism. Laura had just finished telling her he had been smothering, and now here he was, disrespecting her wishes for space. “So, Mason, how’ve you been?”
“Things have been good.” Mason launched into his most recent work history, a topic that Craig jumped right in on. As a tech lover, he was most interested in hearing all about the latest and greatest.
Laura tuned out and turned inward. As irritated as she had been, she was glad to see Mason and wished he had been around from the beginning. It really bothered her that while she felt, not needy, but attached to him, she also wanted to put as much space between them as possible.
As the two men droned on, oblivious to their women sitting next to them, Jill was studying how Laura was behaving. “Hey,” she whispered. When she had Laura’s attention she tilted her head toward the bathroom door. She got up, and Laura followed.
“Okay. What is the deal?” Jill asked when the door had safely closed behind them.
“I don’t know, Jill. I can’t seem to get out of my own head. I want to be with him so badly, and the sex is – oh my God, it’s indescribable, but I can’t seem to take the running shoes off. You know?” Laura gripped the edge of the vanity and rested her head against the mirror. “I can’t figure out what’s wrong with me.”
“Have you felt like this for long? I mean, has there always been a part of you that can’t seem to fully commit?” Jill rubbed small circles over Laura’s back.
“It’s worse now. We’ve been back together since July, and I guess the feeling has been there in some capacity, but I had always managed to beat it back. Since this whole stalker mess happened, I’ve been feeling like a caged animal.” She looked up into Jill’s face, tears shimmering in Laura’s eyes. “The last month he’s been calling and texting all the time. He hired me a bodyguard, for fuck’s sake! And when I don’t answer or take too long to get back to him, he’ll just show up wherever I am, including my job, to ‘check on me.’” She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. “I’m not sure how to deal with this.”
Jill crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the vanity. She stared off into space for a minute, lost in thought, before answering. “Have you talked to him about it?”
Laura snorted. “Yeah, a few times. The most recent time was just last night, when I asked for some space. Look how that worked out.” She gestured at the door, frustration plain on her face.
“Well, Mason hasn’t listened, or at least respects you enough to try. Do you love him?”
“Of course. With all my heart,” Laura answered without any hesitation. She knew to the marrow of her bones Mason was the only one for her. “That’s what makes this all the more frustrating. I keep telling myself he’s doing this because he was spooked by the whole stalking thing too, but this is too much.” She wiped her eyes with the rough paper towel. “Ugh. These things are like wiping with a grocery bag. Anyway, I’m just glad that Roy is so likable and we get along. I feel less like I’m being babysat and more like I’m hanging out with a friend. That’s what I tell myself, anyhow.”
“Sweetie.” Jill rubbed Laura’s upper arm, “Maybe you do need some space, but it sounds like you’ll have to go to an extreme to get it. I don’t think Mason will allow himself to give up his control otherwise. Do you have family you can go stay with?”
Laura shrugged. “I could always try my parents.” She touched herself up in the mirror, glad she hadn’t cried too hard. No swelling to hide. “I don’t know. I’ll think of something. We should get back out there before they both realize we’re missing.”
“Ha!” Jill barked. “I have a feeling Craig is talking Mason’s ear off about a new iPhone app or something. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.” She opened the door and ushered Laura out. Roy was waiting for them at the opening of the dining room. Mason had realized she was gone.
Laura was hot. When the meal was over she was going to let Mason have it. Now he couldn’t trust her to go to the bathroom?
She froze as the realization hit her. This wasn’t about protection. Mason didn’t trust her. The hurt as emotion exploded in her chest was almost unbearable. She gripped Jill’s hand and yanked her back. “Take me home. Please.” The pitch of her voice rose with each syllable.
Laura needed to get out of there immediately or she was liable to have a full-blown meltdown in the middle of a very swanky restaurant.
Jill nodded and shuffled her out the staff door before either their boyfriends or Roy could catch them. It wasn’t until they had crossed the street and hailed a cab that Jill texted Craig that she had left.
&nbs
p; “What are you telling him? Please don’t tell him I’m losing it!” The words came out strangled with panic.
“No. I’m just telling him that you got a text from your boss and asked me to go with you. I think I’ll let him know you just didn’t want to interrupt them…or something like that.” Jill’s thumbs moved at lightning speed as she shot the message off.
“Where am I taking you, ladies?” the cabby asked.
Jill rattled off her apartment address. “Stay with me until later. That way you can decompress and get your head together. What the hell happened back there? Weren’t you feeling better?” She pulled Laura’s head down onto her lap to stroke her hair. The gesture always worked for Jill when she was tense.
Laura curled up into fetal position and started bawling. For the entire drive, Jill just let Laura cry, which Laura was truly grateful for.
Chapter Forty Three
The cab pulled up in front of Jill’s building in SoHo. Jill waited for the cabby to make change before climbing out of the car. “Upstairs. Tea. Let’s go.” Jill grabbed Laura’s hand and pulled her into the building. Laura was so happy the apartment was on the first floor.
With all the swiftness of a woman hiding a fugitive, Jill had Laura in the apartment with the door locked behind them in no time.
“I’m going to put a pot on to boil. Spill.” Jill sat Laura down on the overstuffed sofa facing the tiny kitchen.
“He doesn’t trust me. That’s the reason for all of this nonsense. I didn’t tell him outright about Frank and any involvement I had with him. When I started getting the weird letters and gifts, I thought I’d be able to handle everything myself. Turns out I couldn’t.” A lone tear slipped down her cheek. She dashed it away with her sleeve.
“Were you and Frank a thing when you and Mason got back together?” Jill called out from the kitchen. She was busying herself looking for her misplaced teabags.
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