The Case of the Eccentric Elkhound

by B R Snow

  “I’m glad to hear that, Josie,” the mayor said, grinning.

  “But be careful, Howard,” I said, heading for the front door. “She’s lethal with a knife and fork.”

  Chapter 10

  The restaurant was busy, and several people were taking advantage of the warm weather to sit outside on the wraparound verandah. Many had brought their dogs, and most of them were sipping cocktails and studying both the regular menu and the dog version we’d helped Chef Claire put together. My mother and Howard headed inside while Josie and I stopped to chat with several friends and their dogs. After we’d exchanged pleasantries and finally managed to tear ourselves away from a pair of Lab puppies that were the life of the party, we headed for the kitchen. We said a quick hello to Chef Claire, who paused long enough to look up from the long line of order slips to flash a smile and wave, then she shooed us out of the kitchen. We joined my mother and the mayor at her table.

  “Poor Jimmy. I’m going to miss him,” my mother said, not glancing up from her menu. “But that was a nice service.”

  “I thought it was bizarre,” I said, not bothering to open my menu.

  “Yes, perhaps,” my mother said, still not looking up. “But it seemed appropriate given the way Jimmy lived his life.”

  “I agree with Suzy,” Howard said, taking a sip of water. “It was weird.”

  “Speaking of weird,” I said, watching as the woman approached our table. “Look sharp, Howard.”

  “What?” Howard said, turning in his seat. “Oh, hi. It’s nice to see you.”

  Fatal Franny stopped a few feet away from our table and nodded at Howard, then gave the rest of us a small smile.

  “Hi, Franny,” I said. “That was quite the testimonial you gave at the service.”

  “Thanks,” she said. “I was nervous. I’ve never done anything like that before.”

  “You mean like scare a large group of people half to death?” Josie said, smiling up at her.

  “Oh, you thought I came across as scary?” Fatal Franny said.

  “Actually, Franny, to be honest, I thought you were terrifying,” Josie said.

  “Good,” Fatal Franny said, nodding. “That’s what I was going for.”

  “Would you like to join us for lunch?” my mother said, setting her menu down.

  Fatal Franny considered the invitation, then nodded and sat down next to me.

  “I would. That’s very kind of you,” Franny said, unfolding her napkin and draping it across her lap. “And thanks again for dinner the other night. It was a wonderful evening.”

  I glanced at Josie who gave me a small shrug. For a hit woman, Fatal Franny seemed to be a bit of an enigma. One minute she was threatening to rip somebody’s spleen out, the next she was a composed professional woman demurely perusing the wine list.

  “What do you recommend?” Fatal Franny said.

  “The Josie,” the rest of us at the table said simultaneously.

  “When did you have my sandwich?” Josie said, looking across the table at Howard.

  “I was here for lunch yesterday,” he said. “Chef Claire recommended it. It’s incredible.”

  “You have a sandwich named after you?” Fatal Franny said. “I’m impressed.”

  “Thanks,” Josie said, puffed with pride.

  “What’s in it?”

  “Well, Chef Claire takes a waffle fluffy enough to double as a pillow and cuts it in half horizontally,” Josie said, her eyes dancing. “Then she slathers both sides with this homemade apple butter that’ll bring tears to your eyes. Next come layers of lettuce and tomato, followed by four thick slices of bacon. Then she puts an over easy egg on top and covers it with the other half of the waffle.”

  “It sounds great,” Fatal Franny said, nodding.

  “It’s a total knee-buckler,” I said.

  Our waitress approached carrying a pitcher of iced tea. She poured then asked for our orders.

  “It sounds like everyone is going to have The Josie, Amanda,” my mother said, glancing around the table to make sure she was right.

  “Good choice,” the waitress said, beaming at Josie. “Will that be all?”

  “You’re joking, right, Amanda?” Josie said.

  “Of course, I’m joking,” she said, laughing. “What else can I bring you?”

  “I’ll have an order of fries,” Josie said, concentrating hard. “And a couple orders of the stuffed mushrooms for the table. Oh, and one of the small antipasto.”

  “Yeah, let’s stick with the small one,” I said. “You wouldn’t want people to think you were a little piggy.”

  “I’m pretty sure people already know I’m a little piggy,” Josie said, organizing her cutlery.

  The waitress chuckled and headed for the kitchen. Josie noticed Fatal Franny staring at her with a puzzled expression.

  “Funerals always make me hungry,” Josie said, shrugging.

  “So, Franny,” Howard said. “Based on what you said at the service, am I correct assuming that you’ll be in town awhile?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be around from time to time,” she said, adjusting the bulge under her jacket. “Why do you want to know?”

  “Oh, I just thought you might be interested in a little tour of the River,” Howard said. “You know, pack a lunch, take my boat out, and enjoy the sunshine.”

  Fatal Franny considered the mayor’s invitation for several moments then nodded.

  “Sure. That sounds good,” she said, giving Howard a smile.

  “That’s great,” he said. “How about tomorrow?”

  “If we can do it in the afternoon,” she said. “I have something I need to take care of in the morning.”

  Then her eyes drifted off to another table on the other side of the restaurant and stayed there. I snuck a glance at the table and recognized the four men from Calducci’s service. Fatal Franny continued to stare at them, then stood up.

  “If you’ll excuse me for a moment,” Fatal Franny said. “I need to have a quick word with the gentlemen at that table.”

  We watched her depart just as the waitress arrived with the stuffed mushrooms and antipasto. We started nibbling, and Josie and I took full advantage of our vantage point to keep an eye on Fatal Franny’s interaction with the other table.

  “What’s going on over there?” my mother whispered.

  “Well, it’s a quiet conversation, but I’d have to say it’s anything but casual,” I said.

  “Yeah,” Josie said, selecting several items from the antipasto and filling a small plate. “Judging by the look on that one guy’s face, she seems to be warning them about something.”

  “She wouldn’t have to warn me twice,” I said, popping a mushroom into my mouth. “I can’t believe you asked her out, Howard.”

  “Why not?” Howard said. “We’re both single adults.”

  “A nice little tour of the islands, followed by an extended stop at Lover’s Cove?” I said.

  “More like a layover, right, Howard?” Josie said, laughing. “I wonder if she leaves her holster on.”

  “Don’t be disgusting, Josie,” my mother said, giving her the evil eye. “We’re trying to eat here.”

  “Sorry, Mrs. C.,” Josie said.

  “As always, I’m going to be the perfect gentleman,” the mayor said, turning smarmy. “We’ll take a pleasant little cruise, followed by a picnic lunch, and perhaps a nice bottle of wine. Of course, if she were so inclined, I’d be-”

  “Shut it, Howard,” my mother said.

  “Yeah,” Josie said, laughing. “We’re trying to eat here.”

  Chapter 11

  We headed back to the Inn after lunch to check in with Sammy and Jill and see how Oslo was doing. He managed to stand when he saw us enter the condo area and wagged his tail. Then he tentatively walked across the condo until he reached the door and sat down. I opened the door, and Josie and I stepped inside and closed the door behind us. We both sat down and gently stroked the dog’s fur. Josie gave the bandage cove
ring most of his head a quick examination and decided it was good to go for another day.

  “He wasn’t listing when he walked across the condo,” I said. “That’s good news, right?”

  “That’s very good news,” Josie said, moving her finger back and forth in front of Oslo’s eyes and studying his reaction. “Good boy.”

  “He seems a lot more alert,” I said.

  “He definitely is,” Josie said. “But don’t get your hopes up, Suzy. He’s got a long way to go.”

  “I know he’s going to make it,” I said, firmly.

  “He better,” Josie said, laughing. “If he doesn’t, you’ll never forgive me.”

  “No, I would,” I said. “Eventually.”

  We headed to my office and spent an hour dealing with some Inn business, including our most recent financial statements.

  “How about that?” I said. “We actually made a little money last month. I don’t think we’ve ever turned a profit in April before.”

  “Wonders never cease,” Josie said. “And May should be a good month. I think our reputation is growing.”

  “As it should,” I said, accepting the bag of bite-sized from her.

  We looked up when we heard the knock on the door.

  “Come in,” I said.

  The head of the crew handling our expansion project entered and gave us a small wave and a smile.

  “You guys got a minute?” he said.

  “Sure, Justin,” I said. “Have a seat. What’s up?”

  “I just wanted to let you know that we just finished putting up all the drywall today,” he said, selecting a bite-sized from the bag Josie was extending toward him. “Thanks.”

  “You’re done already?” I said, glancing at the calendar on my computer screen. “Three days ahead of schedule?”

  “Yeah,” he said, nodding. “This new guy I just brought on is incredible. When it comes to drywall, this guy is a rock star.”

  “That’s great,” I said. “So you’re ready to start painting and doing the finishing work?”

  “Yeah, we’re going to get started tomorrow.”

  “Amazing,” Josie said, over the sound of the mouse-like crinkle.

  “We’ve been thinking about doing a bit of work up at the house,” I said. “Does this new guy handle electrical and plumbing?”

  “This guy does everything,” he said. “If you like, I’ll bring him by tomorrow and introduce him.”

  “Good,” I said. “Where did you find this guy anyway?”

  “He just showed up the other day looking for a job. He says he used to work for that dead gangster. You know, Jimmy Calducci.”

  I looked at Josie who seemed as surprised and confused as I was.

  “Yeah, please bring him by,” I said. “We’d love to meet him.”

  “You got it,” he said, accepting one more of the bite-sized before standing. “Thanks. I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Oh, if it’s all right with you, I’d like to knock off early today and take the crew down to the Water’s Edge for a bit of a celebration. They’ve been busting their hump on this job.”

  “Absolutely,” I said, nodding. “And just tell Millie to put it on my tab. Food and drinks are on me.”

  “Gee, thanks, Suzy,” he said, glancing back and forth at us. “You guys are the best.”

  “We have our moments,” I said.

  When he’d departed, I leaned back in my chair.

  “That’s interesting,” I said. “You think it’s a coincidence that the guy showed up right after Calducci died?”

  “I’m gonna go fifty-fifty on that question until I know a bit more,” Josie said. “But if somebody wanted to find out who might have killed Calducci, I guess a construction guy would make a pretty good spy.”

  “Yes, he would,” I said. “Hang around the bars, get in good with some of the locals, and do some quiet snooping over a few beers. But who would have sent him here?”

  “It could be anybody on our suspect list,” Josie said. “Or somebody we haven’t crossed paths with yet.”

  “Yeah, that’s a good point. Instead of being the killer, any of our suspects might actually be trying to figure out who killed Calducci.”

  “That could make things a bit tricky, huh?” Josie said, crumpling the empty bag of Snickers.

  “Yeah,” I said, my mind racing in several directions. “So, we’ve got Dot, Pee Wee, Fatal Franny, and Morrie the Meat Guy.”

  “I really can’t see Morrie involved,” Josie said. “He’s such a sweet guy.”

  “And Calducci was a dog person,” I said, raising an eyebrow at her. “What’s your point?”

  “Yeah, I know,” she said. “But I hope it’s not Morrie.”

  “Me too,” I said. “And given the way Fatal Franny’s conversation at lunch seemed to go, I guess we should add the four guys from that table to our list.”

  “Why not?” Josie said, laughing. “The more, the merrier. Maybe we should just get a copy of the guest book from the funeral service. We wouldn’t want to miss anybody.”

  “You’re not funny,” I said.

  “Disagree.”

  “And we should probably add the construction guy, too.”

  “Geez, Suzy,” Josie said, shaking her head. “Can we at least meet the guy before you suspect him of being a murderer?”

  “I guess you’ve got a good point there,” I said, making room for Chloe as she jumped up in my lap. I rubbed her head and left my arm draped over her after she got herself situated. “I’ve been thinking about something else. Why do you think Fatal Franny agreed to go out on the boat with Howard?”

  “Maybe it’s just a simple question of mutual attraction,” Josie said.

  “Maybe,” I said.

  “Or she’s looking for some information about who might have broken into Howard’s pharmacy,” Josie said.

  “There you go,” I said, nodding. “I was thinking the exact same thing.”

  “And she’s got a couple ways to get it out of him, right?” she said, grinning.

  “Oh, I doubt if she’ll have to use her gun to get Howard talking,” I said, laughing.

  “Yeah, that’s highly unlikely,” Josie said. “But in her job, it’s probably nice to have that option to fall back on.”

  “You know, if I remember, we were talking about taking the dogs out on the boat tomorrow,” I said.

  “And you think that we should keep an eye out for Howard and Fatal Franny?” Josie said. “Maybe swing by to say hello.”

  “Well, it couldn’t hurt,” I said.

  “Unbelievable,” she said, pulling a fresh bag of the bite-sized from her purse. “Okay but if we swing by Lover’s Cove at some point and see Howard’s boat there, we’re going to approach with caution. If it even appears that they’re getting busy, we’re out of there immediately. I like Howard, but there is no way I want to see that.”

  “Yuk,” I said, frowning. “You’ll get no argument from me.”

  “Good. So what do you want to do for dinner?” Josie said.

  “Well, we were just there for lunch, but I guess we could swing by the restaurant,” I said.

  “Yeah, after all, it’s about the only chance we get to see Chef Claire these days,” Josie said.

  “Absolutely,” I said, nodding. “I miss her.”

  Josie snorted.

  “What?” I said.

  “We’re rationalizing,” she said.

  “Totally.”

  “The restaurant has completely spoiled us.”

  “Without a doubt,” I said.

  “You feel bad about it?”

  “Not yet,” I said, shaking my head.

  “Yeah, me neither.”

  Chapter 12

  As promised, Justin brought the new member of his work crew by my office first thing the next morning. The man’s name was Rocco, and he was middle-aged but ripped from the waist up. Judging from the scar tissue around his nose and eyes, it looked like he might have boxed earlier in his life. Either that
or he was an aficionado of bar fights. But he seemed friendly enough, and he immediately gave Captain and Chloe a lot of attention and affection when he met them.

  “How’s Oslo doing?” Rocco said, looking up from the vigorous head scratch he was giving Captain.

  “He’s doing pretty well,” Josie said. “Considering everything he’s been through.”

  “I tried to tell Jimmy something was wrong with him,” Rocco said. “But he was convinced the dog was just a little goofy.” He glanced at Josie. “But you only needed to take one look at him before you knew he had a problem?”

  “Yeah, pretty much,” Josie said. “It wasn’t hard to spot.”

  “I tried to tell him,” Rocco said, shaking his head as he started wrestling with Captain on the floor. “This guy is great.”

  We let the scene play out, and then Rocco followed the dogs and us up the path that led to the house. We showed him the small bathroom off the living room we’d be thinking about remodeling for a while. Josie explained what we wanted to do, and he listened closely, asked for clarification a few times, and then nodded.

  “Okay, that’s all I need,” he said. “If you’ve got some paper, I’ll work up a quote right now.”

  “Let’s go to the kitchen,” I said. “You want some coffee?”

  “That would be great,” Rocco said.

  I tossed him a notepad then got the coffee started. Chef Claire entered a few minutes later still half-asleep and wearing her bathrobe. Startled, she blinked when she saw us sitting around the kitchen island.

  “Good morning,” Chef Claire said, stifling a yawn.

  “Morning,” I said. “Chef Claire, this is Rocco. We’re talking with him about doing the remodel to the downstairs bathroom.”

  “Hey,” Chef Claire said, managing a small wave. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Hi,” Rocco said, looking up from the piece of paper he was making notes on. “So, you’re the famous chef everybody’s talking about.”

  “So they tell me,” Chef Claire said, trying to stifle a yawn and smile at the same time.

  “You look beat. What time did you get home last night?” Josie said.