Love, Unwanted (Discovering Love #3)

by Ra'Chael Ohara

  The doorbell continues to ring as I finish my small trek to the door and look through the peephole. “Phoenix?”

  I’m surprised and relieved to see him. My hand goes to the doorknob, but I stop myself when I remember I’m holding a Louisville slugger in the other hand.

  At the risk of him getting sick of waiting and leaving, I toss the bat behind my couch then throw the door open.

  “Hi!” I greet breathlessly with a smile. My smile begins to fade when I get a glimpse of a very annoyed Phoenix. My smile disappears completely when he doesn’t say anything, just storms past me and heads for my room.

  Uh…okay! I shut the door and lock it before following him. I walk into my room and see he’s thrown off his shirt and jeans, leaving him only in his boxer briefs.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask.

  Once again, he ignores me. I don’t know what his problem is, but the fact he basically just stormed in and is now ignoring me is starting to piss me off.

  I’m about to tell him where to shove it when he throws the covers back and climbs in my bed. “I don’t know what the hell you did to me, woman, but I can’t sleep without you. So, could you please get your sexy ass over here and put me out of my misery? I have rehearsal in the morning.”

  All of my anger goes away, and I waste no time doing just that. I take off my robe and climb in next to him, but just lying next to him isn’t good enough for him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls until I’m tucked in his side.

  “Night, baby.” He sighs.

  “Night, Phoenix.” The last thought I have before sleep claims me is, I’m no longer falling in love with Phoenix—I’ve fallen.

  Shit.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Meet Mick

  One Month Later

  “Hi, Miss Caroline.”

  I look up from my computer and smile when I hear Annie come into the library. “Good afternoon, Annie. How are you?”

  “I’m great! Did you get it?”

  I laugh at her impatience. I can’t blame her. Annie had me order her a book two months ago and she’s been in here almost every day to see if it finally came.

  I mask my face in fake sadness while secretly reaching under my desk. “I’m sorry, Annie, but…it came!”

  I laugh when I see her face go from disappointment to excitement in two point five seconds.

  “Yes!” She cheers. “I’ve been waiting my whole life for this book!”

  I laugh at her eleven-year-old dramatics.

  “I loved this book when I was your age,” I tell her as I walk her to the library door.

  “I can’t wait to read it.” Just as she finishes saying this, we hear her dad honk his horn.

  “Let me know how you like it.”

  “I will. Bye, Miss Caroline.”

  After Annie leaves, I grab my purse and shut off the lights. Then I set the alarm and leave for the night. Since the night Phoenix showed up at my house because he couldn’t sleep without me, my life has once again become about routine…an absolutely amazing routine.

  Since I live close to the library and in an actual house, Phoenix has started spending every night with me. There wasn’t any kind of discussion about this. He just showed up the second night and declared this is how it’s going to be. I wasn’t about to argue with him.

  Other than that, nothing has changed. Things are still amazing between us. Phoenix hasn’t traveled anywhere for shows, but he still has shows here in Lishoy. He has a big show this weekend he’s been rehearsing for every day.

  I’m bothered that he’s never invited me to hear him sing. I, of course, heard him the night at the pub, the night we first met, and I’ve heard him just messing around or rehearsing, but he’s never invited me to one of his shows.

  I’ve wracked my brain trying to figure out all the possible reasons for him maybe not wanting me there, but the only one I can come up with is it’s just me. It’s not a secret I’m the complete opposite of any kind of woman from Phoenix’s world. Maybe he’s embarrassed about me? Maybe he just wants to keep me separate from his rock star life?

  I love Phoenix. I haven’t told him yet because honestly I’m still coming to terms with my feelings for him, but there’s no point in denying it anymore. I love him, and I want to be involved in every part of his life. To think he could be embarrassed about me makes my heartache, which is why I’ve come to the decision to ignore the entire thing and act like it’s not bothering me.

  As soon as I step out of the library, the same creepy feeling overcomes me. The past month, every time I’ve left the house or work or just anytime I’m alone, I’ve felt like I’m being watched.

  I don’t want to say anything to Phoenix because I know how serious he takes my safety. I’m sure if I did say anything, he’d make sure I had a police escort with me everywhere I go, so talking to him is not an option at the moment. I told Violet about the creepy feelings and she thinks I’m just letting all the threats get to me; that I’m getting paranoid because of them.

  I suppose she could be right, but I haven’t received any more threats since the library was broken into. I have just assumed whoever did it got bored and moved on to harass someone else. I don’t know what to think anymore.

  I’m just climbing into the back of my cab when my phone beeps with a text:

  Phoenix: Hey, babe, rehearsal was pushed back until tonight. Since you don’t have to work tomorrow, I figured we could stay at my place. I already picked up Bubbles. See you soon.

  “Where to, Miss?” I smile and give the cabbie the name of the hotel.

  ***

  “Phoenix? You here?” I call into the seemingly empty hotel suite. I stood outside knocking for a good minute, waiting for him to answer before I realized he gave me a room key three weeks ago.

  “Maybe he already went to rehearsal?” I surmise when I still don’t get an answer.

  I decide since he’s not here and I don’t have anything else to keep me busy, I’ll make him dinner. Or at least that was the plan until I walked into the living room and found a man standing at the bar. Who the hell is he? And why didn’t he answer when he heard me knocking and calling Phoenix’s name?

  “Oh…hi.”

  Finally, after the stranger throws back the rest of his scotch, he turns around. I get a whole different kind of icky feeling when he looks my body up and down and mumbles, “I can see why he’s obsessed with you.”

  “Excuse me?” I can’t possibly have heard what I just think I heard. While I wait for the jerk to pour himself another drink, I take a second to size him up. He’s not much taller than me and about two-hundred pounds heavier. His face is clean-shaven and what little hair he has left on his head is groomed into an awful comb over.

  Despite all that, you can tell just by looking at him and smelling him that he’s trying to give off the impression he has money. A gold chain hangs on his meaty neck and there are gold rings on all of his fingers. I’m surprised I didn’t smell his incredibly strong cologne the moment I walked through the door.

  “I’m Mick,” he announces when he turns back to me. Mick. Where have I heard that name? Right, he’s Phoenix’s manager. Guess it doesn’t matter if I like him or not. He isn’t going anywhere.

  Faced with that reality, I paint on a bright smile and stick out my hand. “Oh, hi, Mick. Phoenix has told me so much about you. I’m Caroline.”

  My bright smile fades when Mick ignores my hand and throws back the rest of his drink.

  “I know who you are,” he says. He walks across the living room to the big window that overlooks the city. “And I know what you’re trying to do.”

  “What I’m trying to do?” I mimic his question with confusion laced in my voice. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  I jump when he releases a big belly laugh before turning to face me once again. “I’m not stupid, little girl. You may have Phoenix fooled with your goodie-two-shoes attitude. You can fool everybody around you with that innocent act, bu
t me? I know what you are. I’ve been in this business a long time. I’ve seen numerous women try and weasel their way into a musician’s wallet any way they can. I will say, though, you do sell this innocent act quite well. One of the best I’ve ever witnessed.”

  It takes a minute for me to process what he’s actually accusing me of, but when it does register, I see red. “I’m not sure what I’ve done to make you think that I’m only interested in Phoenix’s money, or his fame, for that matter, but I really don’t appreciate you insinuating I’m some kind of gold digger who is putting on some show. I care about him.”

  “You care about what’s in his wallet.”

  “That’s a lie!” I yell. It doesn’t matter what I say to this man. None of it is getting through to him and I’m just so sick of defending my feelings or relationship with Phoenix to everybody.

  I think Mick is surprised at my outburst. For the longest time, he doesn’t respond. He just looks at me like he’s trying to figure out what his next move should be. I can see when he figures it out, and I know it’s not going to be good by the grimy smile he gives me.

  “Okay, sweetheart.” My skin crawls at his use of that pet name. “Let’s say you are this sweet, innocent girl that you claim to be. What happens in a few months from now?”

  This whole situation is just confusing to me. I’ve never met Mick in my life. I’ve heard things about him. Yes, I have the impression he isn’t the greatest guy just from how hard he works Phoenix despite how many times Phoenix has asked for a break, but I just can’t comprehend why Mick seems to hate me so much.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, right now you’re a shiny new toy to Phoenix. He’s calling off shows, not showing up to rehearsals because all of his attention is wrapped up in you, and you love it, but it’ll wear off. He’s got to go back on tour sometime. He’ll be reintroduced to his old life, a life full of money, booze, and women, a life that he loves. What do you think he’s going to do when he gets a glimpse of his old life and remembers how glorious it was? He’s gonna drop Miss Innocent so fast. My advice to you, kid. Leave now. Save yourself the heartache.”

  My heart is beating out of my chest and my body is shaking uncontrollably. Everything he’s just said to me isn’t anything I haven’t thought about before, but I tried to ignore it and live in the moment with Phoenix. That’s hard to do when all the negatives get shoved in my face like this.

  Part of me wants to run out of this room and from this situation. I also want to fight. I want to tell Mick he has no idea what could happen. He’s never seen Phoenix and I together. He doesn’t know what our relationship is like.

  No one can predict the future. All I can do is act on what I know and I know that I love Phoenix. I know I’ve waited my whole life to have a love like this. If I’m not going to let some anonymous letters drive me away from this love, then I sure as hell am not going to let Mick.

  “Babe! You here?” Mick and I break eye contact when we hear Phoenix call for me from the front door.

  “In here,” I call back.

  I take a step toward Mick and lower my voice. I have something to say to him, and something tells me that this is probably the only chance I’ll have to say it.

  “You’re wrong. You don’t know me and you don’t know Phoenix, but I do know you. You don’t care about Phoenix. You care about yourself and the money he gives you. That’s why you still make him do show after show, party after party, even knowing his struggles. I threaten you because I show Phoenix it’s possible to have people in his life who care about him for him, not for the fame or the money. He knows if you stripped all that away, I would still be here. You wouldn’t.”

  “Mick, what are you doing here?” Phoenix asks just as I finish speaking. My eyes don’t leave Mick and his don’t leave mine. I’m waiting on baited breath to see if he’s going to tell Phoenix about our conversation.

  Finally, Mick looks away. A fake smile shows on his face. “Yeah, I just stopped by to see if I could talk you into doing that show in England next month.”

  I put on a smile and walk over to Phoenix, who is looking back and forth between us, almost like he senses that something is wrong. He pulls me to his side and kisses me. “Hey, baby. Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, everything is fine,” I say cheerfully. He gives me a warm smile and another chaste kiss. Then he turns his attention to Mick. .

  “I told you, no out-of-town shows.”

  “I thought I’d ask again. Can’t blame a guy for trying.” He laughs. “Well, at least I finally got to meet this lovely lady you can’t stop talking about. I better get going. Call me after rehearsal?”

  He’s walking toward the door before he’s even finished talking. Phoenix only gives him a nod as an answer. No more is said before Mick walks out of the suite.

  Phoenix stares at the door Mick exited through for a while before turning back to me. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Just wondering. How was your day, babe?

  “It was good. Busy, but good. I thought I might make us dinner tonight?” He wraps his arm around me and starts to walk us to the kitchen.

  “Better make it dinner for three.”

  Nick, the drummer in Phoenix’s band, is standing in the kitchen.

  “Hey, beautiful!” he smiles. I met Nick a few weeks ago and instantly liked him, along with all the other bandmates. They’re all funny and so nice.

  “Hi, Nick. How are you?”

  “I’m great. You cooking?”

  That’s another thing I’ve learned about Nick. He loves food. You wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at him, though. He’s just as fit as Phoenix, only with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

  “Yes.” I giggle.

  “Fantastic!” He cheers, then looks at Phoenix. “You got a keeper, bro.”

  “Don’t I know it,” he says instantly while looking my body up and down, causing my face to heat.

  “You coming to the show this weekend?”

  Just like that, all my happiness evaporates at Nick’s question. I’m about to tell him no because I wasn’t invited, but I’m interrupted by Phoenix.

  “She’ll be there.” My eyes snap to him and he shoots me a wink.

  “I’ll be there.” I smile.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Make Me Sandra D

  “You sure you don’t mind driving to the show with Emily and Liz?” Phoenix asks me for the millionth time today.

  “Yes, I’m sure. It’ll be fine. Go!” I laugh, but I stop when he cups my face between his palms.

  “You make me so happy,” he whispers before his lips touch mine. I swear the things this man can do to me! That’s why I’m going out of my mind that he won’t make me his in every way.

  Yes, I wasn’t sure if I was ready before, but these past few months with him have solidified this is what I want. I want everything from Phoenix. I want to give him all of me. Even if it doesn’t work out between us, even if he goes back to the road and realizes a relationship with me isn’t what he wants, I won’t regret giving myself to him.

  “I’ll see you tonight, birdie. I’ll be the one singing.”

  He gives me one more earth-shattering kiss before he leaves the suite.

  With nothing else to do and only an hour left to get ready, I go to the bathroom. I start curling my short blonde hair into loose waves, then apply the same minimal makeup I do every day: light mascara, a little lip gloss, and some blush.

  I pull out my knee length, floral, flowing skirt and my gray sweater from my suitcase. After getting dressed, I look in the mirror. Mick wasn’t far off. Everything about me screams innocent. I’ve worn this outfit and many like this a hundred times. I look like I’m going to church, not to a concert. I look like I’m part of the choir, not the lead singer’s girlfriend.

  No wonder Phoenix thinks he has to handle me with care and slow things down between us to a snail’s pace. I’ve been giving
him all the correct signs…or at least I think I have. I’m ready for him to make love to me. More than ready. In fact, if he makes me wait any longer, I may combust. The man is a tease, even when he isn’t trying.

  I sigh and give up when I hear Liz and Emily knocking at the door. Guess this will just have to do.

  As soon as I open the door, the girls bombard me. “Hi!” they both say. That’s the only thing I understand before they start chattering about how excited they are to go out with me. I met these girls a couple weeks ago and I can see why Nick and Shaun like them.

  They are both tall and slim and look like they just walked off a runway in Mulan. Liz has long blonde hair with blue eyes and Emily has short red hair with green eyes.

  They are the opposite in every way from any kind of girls I’ve been friends with before. They’re plastic, meaning they have fake boobs, fake noses, fake tan, but they are genuinely nice. Since the moment I met them, they made me feel like part of the group, like I belong, and they will never understand how much I appreciate that.

  “You better get ready, girl. We’re going to be late,” Emily says to me. I look down at my outfit before looking back at the girls.

  “Erm, I am ready,” I say slowly and almost shamefully. I watch as Liz and Emily look at each other, both looking perplexed before their eyes come back to me.

  “You look great!”

  “You really do!”

  Lies. It’s all lies. I know that they’re just trying to be nice, but the truth is I look like a nun, especially compared to them. Emily has on a neon pink, skintight dress, and Liz has on an almost matching dress except hers is green. They look like they’re going to a concert. I look like I’m about to meet my grandma for tea.