Bestsellers: Duo - the Wedding Day and My Love

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Bestsellers: Duo - the Wedding Day and My Love Page 19

by Joanne Clancy


  I just wanted to let people know that it truly is possible to find the person you are looking for online. Be yourself and open up to the incredible possibilities. You will be blissfully rewarded. Online dating has brought me so much more happiness than I ever dreamed possible…so what are you waiting for, get comfy, pour that glass of red and get online where fun, love, romance awaits you….

  Why online dating works

  Online dating works for many people for many different reasons. After several years of trying the usual dating methods; meeting someone on a night out in a pub or nightclub, blind dates with friend of friends, meeting someone in an evening class, even dating someone at work, I finally decided, with some trepidation, to try online dating.

  I filled out my profile details and uploaded it to my chosen dating website. I browsed different profiles of my potential future dates and even sent a few emails to one or two profiles which caught my attention. I had replies and approaches very quickly, much to my delight. I was amazed at the freedom online dating gave me. I could get to know someone a little over a couple of emails, which helped me, and them to decide if we even wanted a first date.

  It's not easy to meet a potential romantic partner with our busy lives. Most of us work full time and don't have a lot of time to go on dates. Online dating is a quick and simple way of meeting someone new. I've always had the philosophy that if I want something then I should go out and be proactive about it, so instead of sitting around waiting for the love of my life to come knocking on my door, I decided to take matters into my own hands and sign up for online dating.

  I found online dating to be a fun experience and a great way of meeting new people. I had several first dates and one or two second and third dates, until I met my current partner also online. We lived at opposite ends of the country, but after exchanging many emails and talking on the telephone long into the early hours of the morning, we finally decided to meet. We agreed to meet half way and we haven't looked back since! If it wasn't for online dating, I doubt that I would ever have met him.

  I would highly recommend online dating. It's good to know that most people who have signed up to the website are on the same wavelength as you. You know that they, too, are looking for love, so there's no need to play games. I would advise spending time getting to know each other before actually meeting; email regularly, telephone each other and try to sort out as early as possible whether or not you have similar interests. Then go and enjoy yourself, and remember, if it doesn't work out that there are plenty more dates waiting for you online.

  How to have the perfect first date

  The perfect first date is a subjective experience and individual to each couple. One couple's idea of a perfect first date might just be another couple's idea of an absolutely disastrous first date. I think the first date should be seen as an opportunity to meet someone new. Hopefully, there will be a mutual attraction but if not then maybe you might make a new friend.

  It's important not to put too much pressure on yourself and your date. Make an effort to look well and be cheerful. Try to relax, be yourself and be interested in the other person. Try to put your date at ease. Enjoy the date itself, the food, the surroundings, the atmosphere. Life is all about experiences, and your first date is another experience to be enjoyed.

  I signed up to an Internet dating website last year, and had several first dates. Some were interesting, others not so good, but I just put it all down to life experience. At least I had the courage to meet new people and be myself, and I was actively doing something constructive about my love life. It is often the way, as it is with most things in life, that the perfect first date will take you by surprise and will be completely unplanned and unexpected.

  My perfect first date started out a little disastrously. I had been chatting for a while to lovely man on the dating website and we decided to meet. Our initial first date arrangement had to be cancelled because he had been involved in car crash the day before we were due to meet! We rearranged and agreed to meet half way as we lived quite some distance apart.

  So, I arrived at the restaurant and approached a man who I believed to be my date. He was the same height, same build and even looked quite like the photo my date had emailed me. This man looked at me like I was crazy and just walked away from me with a shocked look on his face. Needless to say, I was quite hurt at his reaction, as I thought this was my date and he was interested in me.

  I decided to have a coffee before making my way home, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was my date! He did look quite like the other man who I had approached earlier. Anyway, to make a long story short, my date and I had the most amazing first date. We talked into the early hours of the morning. We had so much in common and really liked each other, and we have been together for the past six months.

  My advice is to give your first date a chance. Enjoy it and who knows it might just turn out to be the most perfect unexpected first date you'll ever have.

  First date dos and don’ts

  You've made it to the first date. You've both realised that you quite like each other. You may have been friends for a while and decided to take your platonic relationship to the next level. You may know each other only a very short time or it may be a blind first date. There are some general rules that need to be observed for the smooth running of a first date. After all, this may be the last first date that you ever have, that's if everything goes well.

  First dates are very exciting. You are meeting someone for the first time who might just turn out to be the love of your life, but it's best not to focus on that aspect of it too much as you might just make yourself too nervous. It's best to treat a first date as an opportunity to get to know the person a little better. It's almost like a fun interview. Seize the opportunity to display the best side of yourself and your personality.

  I have been on one or two first dates myself so I'll be happy to offer you my expert advice. First of all, pay attention to your appearance and what you decided to wear. Make sure your hair is looking its best, wear an outfit that you are comfortable wearing and that you don't feel self-conscious wearing. Pay attention to your personal hygiene as that is one of the first things that people will notice about you. Many people say that our smell is one of the first things that our potential partners notice and will either be attracted or repelled by.

  Try to be in a good mood on a first date. Be interested in the other person and what they are saying to you. Try to be chatty, without monopolising the conversation. Good eye contact is important and shows your date that you are interested in them and what they are saying.

  You may feel nervous but remember that your date is probably just as nervous, if not more so, than you. Make an effort to put your date at ease and you will find that you will quickly forget about your own discomfort. Speak positively about yourself and your life. People are attracted to optimistic people. My most important piece of advice is to be yourself, whatever that may be. You owe it to yourself to portray yourself exactly as you are and you also owe it to your potential future partner.

  First date safety tips for women

  I have had one or two first dates in my time and I must admit, looking back on them, that I was, at times, quite reckless with my own safety. Luckily, even though some of my dates never went beyond a first date, my dates were always decent people. However, if they hadn't been decent, I could have found myself in a few rather precarious situations.

  I'm ashamed to admit that I have gotten into a car with a man who was a relative stranger; we'd only had a few telephone conversations and exchanged emails before we met. I've also had dinner at a man's apartment, even though it was only the second date and I obviously didn't know him very well. Anything could have happened to me in that car or at the apartment and I thank God that nothing did.

  Here are my first date safety tips which I have learned along the way and now follow myself.

  When meeting a date for the first time, always advise a close friend of where and when y
ou are meeting your date. Have your friend's number on speed dial in your phone, just in case you might need their help urgently. Remember to fully charge your mobile phone before leaving home.

  No matter how well the first date might be going, I recommend having a time limit on it. Obviously, you don't let your date know your time limit, but three or four hours is usually enough for a first date. I would advise having a friend pick you up at a pre-arranged, public spot after your date.

  I wouldn't recommend having your date drop you home; after all, you barely know them and you don't want to be in a confined space with them until you know them better. Also, it's probably best that your date doesn't immediately know your address, just in case you decide that you don't want to see them again.

  Meet your first date in a public place. Make sure there are lots of people around at all times, just in case you need help. Do not meet your first date in an isolated area.

  If at any time you are feeling uncomfortable on the date, make your excuses and leave. Do not feel that you have to stay.

  My personal recommendation for a first date, especially if you don't know your date very well, is to meet for coffee in the afternoon. If you don't necessarily click then at least it's only an hour out of your lives. If you get on well then you can arrange to meet again.

  First dates can be wonderful experiences, but our personal safety needs to be our number one priority at all times.

  Tips for the first date

  You’ve exchanged a few emails and text messages, or maybe even had some friendly chats on the telephone with someone who you are interested in seeing again and hopefully getting to know a little better. You've both finally plucked up the courage to agree to meet up and have the all-important first date.

  I’ve had one or two first dates in my time, and I find the best idea is to keep the first date as simple and short as possible. It's also helpful to have some sort of an activity because that will give you both something to talk about and is an easy ice-breaker.

  It’s important to look on the first date as a way to see if you actually like the other person. Ask yourself if you could see you and your date being friends, hanging out together. Don't put too much pressure on finding "the one". If you enjoy each other’s company then have another date and everything will evolve naturally. Take your time, enjoy each other's company.

  The only question you should be asking yourself in the early stages of a new friendship/relationship is if you like the other person. There may not be a huge spark initially, as most people tend to be quite nervous at first. I think that if you both have a decent conversation and both people are making an effort to get along, then nearly everyone deserves a second date.

  Anyway, here are some of my favourite first date ideas:

  Coffee: simple, easy, you don’t have to stay more than half an hour if you really aren’t getting along, and if it’s all going well then you could suggest extending the date. Try to go somewhere fairly quiet, not too busy, as it’s important to at least be able to hear other speak.

  Drinks: A similar first date to the coffee idea, and can be extended to dinner if all is going well.

  Tour: take the tour bus of your local area together. It can be a good idea to have something to do and then to talk about, as you don’t want to ask too many personal questions on a first date.

  Hobby: find out if you have a shared interest or hobby. If you both like cooking, then check out your local food market. If you’re into books then check out any quirky bookshops together.

  Art gallery or museum: again, something to do and to talk about.

  The best places to go on a first date in London

  There are so many things to enjoy in London that it’s difficult to know where to begin. There are endless activities to explore together on a first date.

  The Original London Sightseeing Tour Bus is always great fun. It offers frequent hop-on hop-off tours taking you past the best of London on a traditional red open-top bus. You and your date can stop and take in some of London’s top attractions such as The Tate Britain, The London Eye and St. Paul’s Cathedral. There is a running commentary along the way, available in many different languages. So you and your date can sit back, relax, and have plenty of things to talk about on your first date.

  If you and your date would rather do something a little more low-key, then why not take a walk in one of London’s beautiful parks or gardens, such as Kensington Palace Gardens, the Chelsea Physic Garden or The Garden Museum, to name but a few. You and your date can take a stroll together and enjoy a respite from the buzz of the city. You can stop off for a traditional English afternoon tea of scones, clotted cream and jam with a cup of Earl Grey.

  There are many tempting restaurants to dine in London, from cheap restaurants to luxury dining, afternoon tea to Sunday roast. You’ll never be stuck for cuisine ideas in London. Traditional English food had been overhauled in recent times, and many restaurant owners provide fresh, locally sourced produce.

  Simpson’s-in-the-Strand, which is part of the Savoy Hotel, has been serving traditional food in London since 1828. Simpson’s is a place for meat and fish lovers, where you and your date will most certainly appreciate the ornate interior and air of times gone by.

  Porters English Restaurant is very popular with tourists. If you and your date fancy tucking into comfort food like cod and chips, roast beef and English pies, then Porters is definitely one to try.

  “Rules” is London’s oldest restaurant, located in the heart of Covent Garden. It has been serving traditional food since 1798, with an emphasis on game, oysters, pies and pudding.

  London boasts a huge number of pubs and bars for you and your first date to enjoy. Every drinking spot is catered for, including cool bars, luxury bars and of course the more traditional London pub. London’s wine bars are a very popular option. There’s a wine bar for every taste and occasion, from Gordon’s Wine Bar, the oldest wine bar in London to Le Beaujolais, “a touch of France in London”.

  You and your first date will not be stuck for things to do, places to see and food to enjoy in London. The possibilities are almost endless, so relax and enjoy the experience together, and hopefully your first date will be the first date of many.

  How to woo a woman

  It is a simple fact of life that all women like a man to woo her. Woo is perhaps an old-fashioned concept but the efforts of a man to woo his beloved will never go unnoticed by her. When a woman is wooed by a man she feels special, appreciated, wanted and loved. She feels that she holds a special place in her man's heart and that his act of wooing is his way of showing her how much he cares for her.

  Wooing is perhaps most evident at the start of a relationship. I suppose another term “to woo” is the old term “to court.” However I believe that a man can and should woo his beloved throughout their relationship.

  It is actually quite easy to woo a woman. Your efforts can be from the very simple to the extravagant, as long as your effort comes genuinely from your heart and with love. A simple text message or email during the day saying, for example “I love you”, a random hug, a gentle kiss, holding her hand, all these are simple acts of how to woo a woman. You do not need to spend exorbitant amounts of money to show her that you care.

  Try to remember the days that should be special and memorable to both of you-birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Day. No matter how much a woman protests that she is not that interested in Valentine's Day and its Hallmark sentimentality, it is always best to remember the day, even if it's just a card and maybe a rose for every year you have been together. She will be charmed by your thoughtfulness.

  Another way to woo a woman is taking the time to go on a date together, just the two of you, no children or friends or family, just you two together. This is especially important for a couple who have been together for a while.

  Taking time to be alone, to reconnect with each other is fundamental to every relationship. You could go to your favourite restaurant, maybe a place
where you used to go when you first started dating. You could go for a walk in the park, holding hands, spending time with each other.

  It is easy to woo a woman. It just takes a little thought and your efforts will be much appreciated by the woman in your life. All she wants is to feel that you love her and care about her enough to remember her and to woo her.

  How to make a man fall in love

  Why would anyone want to make anyone else fall in love with them? I don't think it is possible to make or force another person, male or female, to fall in love. Surely, falling in love with someone should be a natural occurrence. Of course, we can make ourselves more appealing. We can portray the more positive aspects of our personality, but ultimately the best advice is to be yourself. After all, who wants to have someone fall in love with a fake aspect of themselves.

  It is important to make an effort when we first meet someone who we think might be a future boyfriend. Women naturally make a conscious effort with their appearance when they meet someone new. It's fun for us to dress up and coordinate flattering outfits. Naturally, we will be in a more upbeat, positive mood when we are first discovering someone new in our lives. All of this will show the happier side of our personalities and nobody can resist a happy, upbeat person.

  We smile more when we are happy. The more we smile, the more the world smiles back at us. Men, as well as women, like to be heard. It is flattering when someone else finds our stories interesting and listen in rapt attention to what we have to say.

  Most men will appreciate a home-cooked meal. This is maybe an area where a woman could make an extra effort. Find out what your man's favourite food is and cook it as a surprise for him. I'm sure he will be grateful that you tried to please him.

 

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