I Need You Forever

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  I sat there berating myself for not thinking to bring a jacket. Suddenly, I felt the warmth of a hand on mine, sending a small shock through my system. I also felt the warmth of Mr. Lombardi’s breath on the side of my face when he turned toward me to ask, “Do you still live over by the university?”

  My brows furrowed as I tried to make heads or tails of what he’d said because my thoughts kept drifting back to my past. I shook my head to clear my mind. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

  He laughed for a moment and patted my hand again. “I understand. I still have days like that. I asked if you still lived over by the campus. I wanted to figure out how much time it would take to drive to Frappes and then return you home, so I could message my mom with a time to expect me to pick up Nicola.”

  I prayed he couldn’t hear my heartbeat kick up or notice how nervous I was being in the same car with him. This was the effect Mr. Lombardi always had on me. He was the first caring man I could trust, and his touch was akin to me sticking my finger in a light socket. He did strange things to my libido, due largely to the dominant nature he tried to hide, but not successfully. Neither one of us was in a position where we could focus on anything other than a working relationship. If I was honest, I think I’d prefer a life of celibacy, or even dates with a battery operated boyfriend, as opposed to dealing with anyone like my ex again.

  I didn’t want to admit where I lived; I was ashamed of how far I’d fallen, but at least I could point him in the right direction. “I don’t live far from Frappes. I can easily walk home from there.”

  He shook his head and started the car. “We’ll see. I don’t like the idea of anyone walking alone in downtown after dark.”

  Feeling my constricted chest finally release, I looked out the window of Mr. Lombardi’s car as it eased out of the cemetery. I hated being exposed, out in the open where anyone could come and go, just because I wanted to visit with my dad. I knew it wasn’t him down there, but I liked the idea of talking with him, telling him what was going on, and wishing like crazy I could get a sign. I desperately wanted a sign showing me what to do with my life and how to handle the most recent threat from his former employers.

  I zoned out, thinking of all the times I felt I’ve been watched lately. I had this sixth sense that someone was following me around. Every time danger was near, the hairs on the back of my neck seemed to stand at alert.

  I don’t know how long I’d run through things in my head but when I started looking around, I realized the sun was starting to set, and I didn’t recognize the area we were in. I glanced over to see Mr. Lombardi in a daze as he drove. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear he was a robot going about everyday tasks without thinking.

  “Mr. Lombardi?” I questioned in a low voice, but he didn’t blink, budge, or anything.

  “Mr. Lombardi!” I tried punctuating my words to grab his attention but still nothing, so I opted for shaking his shoulder.

  He jumped and pulled the car over to the side of the road before slamming on the brakes. I placed my hands out as the seatbelt tightened and the dash loomed at my face. His hand came up to block me.

  “Jackson.”

  I looked over at him as his arms fell into his lap, and his head leaned back into the headrest. “What did you say?”

  His breathing was labored, but he managed to turn to me, “Call me Jackson or Jax. You’re my assistant manager now, so no need for formalities.”

  I watched as he rubbed his hands over his face. “I’m sorry for that, Robin. I tend to zone out after I visit with Gabi. I wind up driving for a couple hours trying to make sense of my life and end up in the strangest of places. I can’t believe I almost came upon her accident scene.” He took another deep breath, “I promise I’m not on anything. I’m just having a hard time letting go.”

  I put forth my best smile and daringly patted him on the thigh. I could feel his muscles twitch underneath my hand. “It’s okay, sir, I mean Jax. I’m not dealing with losing my father any better, so I get it.”

  He put the car back into drive and pulled out onto the street and back in the right direction. I still questioned whether having coffee with my boss outside of work was the right thing to do. It’s not likely I’d run into anyone from the office, but I certainly didn’t want anyone to say that I was getting “favors” by associating with him during non-business hours.

  The rest of the ride was made in silence and before long he was parallel parking in front of Frappes. I noticed a light on in the back of the storefront, but the sign said closed. “I think we may need to find somewhere else to go. It looks like they’re closed on Sunday.”

  He nodded, but got out of the car and proceeded to help me out onto the sidewalk. His hand came to rest on the small of my back as he guided me to the shop’s front door. “I’m sure they’ll make an exception for us.”

  I shook my head, wondering what he was up to and noticing the small hint of a smile spread on his face. Too bad he doesn’t smile more often – I’d swoon in a heartbeat over those pearly whites.

  He rang the front buzzer, but then shockingly began to pound on the door. “This is the police. You’d better open up in there before I break your door down.”

  OMG! He was a nut case. I started to pull away from him, but his hand moved around to my waist to anchor me where I was at. I knew my eyes were as big as saucers, and I looked at him like he was crazy. He was about to say something to me, when I saw a dark shadow move from the back of the store, turning on lights as they stalked toward the door.

  The door opened abruptly. “I have half a mind to call dad and ask him to sit on you while I paddle your ass for scaring us.” The owner, Brianna, yelled at him before turning her scowl into a smile. “However, since I haven’t seen you in several weeks, I’ll settle for a hug and will take a rain check on kicking your butt.”

  I watched as Jax released me so he could hug Brianna. “Forgive me, sis?”

  I stared back and forth between the two of them, finally seeing the resemblance. They both had the same eye color, nose, and chin. Before I could say anything, Jax released his sister and began to introduce us. “Sis, I’d like you to meet my assistant manager. Robin, I’d like you to meet my sister Brianna Cahill.” He turned to ask, “Is Daniel in the back helping you tonight?”

  She nodded. “He’s watching a set of pastries that are almost ready to come out of the oven and some soup I thought I’d cook up in advance of tomorrow’s lunch crowd.”

  Jax yelled out, “Hey, Dan!”

  We heard a distant, “Hey, bro,” coming from the back, along with the clanging of pans.

  Brianna stepped back and looked at me a bit closer. “Are you the same Robin that used to frequent my shop almost daily wanting Caramel Macchiatos?”

  I nodded. “Guilty.”

  She reached for my shoulders and pulled me into a hug. It scared me a bit, but Marissa had told me that the families closely associated with the Prescotts were an overly affectionate bunch, so not to be surprised if I ever met one of them and instantly got hugged. It was hard for me to handle anyone touching me, especially after…but her embrace felt sisterly, almost motherly in a way – something I’d long since forgotten.

  “My goodness, you’ve lost too much weight. Come on in, the both of you. Let’s get you fixed up with something to eat and something warm to drink.” Brianna released me and motioned for us to come inside before locking the door behind us.

  She stepped in front of us and waved her hand in the air between Jax and me. “So how did you two run into each other today? I hope you don’t have her working weekends. Besides, I thought it was your day to…” I noticed her eyes turned away from her brother and her voice drifted off.

  He nodded. “You know I don’t work weekends anymore. Alexander won’t let me. He’s got Marshall and the guys blocking any attempts to access my files on the weekends.”

  She crossed her arms and smiled. “Way to go Alexander. Remind me to call him and thank him for that
. You can’t spend all your spare time at work or with Nicola; you need to be able to focus on healing too. Finding peace with your new circumstances is long overdue.”

  I tried stepping back, to give them some distance to talk, but Jackson quickly grabbed my hand and squeezed, signaling for me to stay. I stopped, and he seemed to let up on the pressure but didn’t release me.

  He put his other hand up in the air to halt her words. His voice sounded pitiful, and his eyes were full of sadness. “I know, Brianna. I know. I’ve come to the realization that I can’t continue living in the past. It’ll be hard, but I’m working on it, so back off a bit or I’ll stick mom on you.”

  Hmm…they each had a favorite parent that they could play off each other. What I wouldn’t give to have the luxury of two parents or even to have the ability to talk with my brother, but I won’t think about that now.

  Jackson went on to add. “I was saying my final goodbyes at the cemetery today when I ran into Robin. She was there visiting her dad. When we started talking, I offered for us to continue our conversation over some coffee. She lives not far from here, so we decided to stop by and see if you and Dan were still around.”

  Brianna sympathetically looked my way as she stepped forward and gave me another hug. “I’m so sorry, honey. If you don’t mind me asking, when did it happen and how?”

  I could feel a few tears start to well up in my eyes. “He developed cancer and somehow contracted lead poisoning. He passed away a few months ago.”

  She guided me to one of the tables close to the counter while Jackson followed and took a seat. “Why don’t I get you both your favorites and maybe a bowl of minestrone? I just got a delivery of fresh bread bowls from the bakery.”

  Jackson nodded, while I tried to argue. “I’ll just have a coffee. I’m really not that hungry, and my funds are a little tight right now.”

  My nose would pick that moment to catch a whiff of some mouth-watering smells coming out of the kitchen which caused my stomach to growl rather loudly.

  Brianna waved her hand in the air. “Is that why you haven’t been in lately, because money’s tight?”

  I nodded, hating to be put on the spot.

  She placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’ve told you before that your money isn’t good here. You helped save my brother’s department when all hell broke loose. Plus, you saved Marissa from being let go as an intern. You’ve more than earned credit here.”

  Brianna got up and headed toward the kitchen, turning on the espresso machines as she went. “The machines will take a few minutes to heat up, so I’ll go ahead and grab you both some soup to get you started.” She winked. “Plus, I need to check and make sure my husband isn’t screwing up any of the goodies we’re cooking.”

  As soon as she left the room, Jackson spoke up. “My sister must really like you. She’s normally not this friendly; her staff usually works the front of the shop so that she can work quietly in the kitchen.” He paused, looking deep in thought. “She’s only ever taken to Marissa, Dawn, the Prescott cousins, Gabi, and you.” Something must have been funny to him because a hint of a smile crossed his face.

  “I’m hoping that smile is of a happy memory. You should try to smile more often; it looks good on you.” I slapped my hand over my mouth wondering why I’d just said that out loud.

  I WAVED MY HAND in the air to dismiss the notion. “It’s okay, Robin. We’re not at work. We’re just two people having some food and a cup of coffee together while talking about our losses.”

  At least that was my intention when we first got into the car at the cemetery. Then I could swear I kept hearing my wife’s voice telling me, “She needs your help. You’re the only one who can save her.” I had no clue what that was about or if it was wishful thinking on my part, wanting to hear Gabi again.

  Before I could say anything more, I reached over and pulled her hand from her mouth and settled it on the table with mine. We both seemed to be transfixed with one another. I couldn’t believe I’d never noticed how blue her eyes were; like two azure pools of water where I could see straight through to a troubled soul. Her eyes offset her raven hair and porcelain skin perfectly. Her lips looked delicate and in need of some serious attention. She was truly stunning. But something was wrong in her life, and some of the comments she made today left me wanting to know more about her.

  I was startled when I heard my sister clear her throat; damn, she’d caught us holding hands and staring at one another. I saw Robin pull back and blush the most stunning shade of rose I’d ever seen. So she embarrasses easily.

  “Here’s a couple bread bowls of minestrone, some pasta side salad, and I’ll get your coffees in just a sec. Enjoy guys.” My sister’s voice was way too chipper. Brianna was trying to play matchmaker and I knew it, so I shot her a look that said, “Cut it out.” She must have understood what I meant because she nodded and headed toward the coffee.

  Citing my need to get out and live a little, she’d tried before to set me up on dates, but I wouldn’t do it. I’d even refused a couple of guys’ nights out on the town going bowling and playing pool because I didn’t want to deal with people. I basically opted to shut myself off from life. I found solace in my work and in taking care of my daughter, Nicola. I could see Gabi in her eyes and her smile. It brought me comfort knowing that I had a piece of her still with me. A piece that I would guard with my life, where I’d failed to protect Gabi.

  Brianna brought our coffee but otherwise left us alone to eat and talk privately while she and Dan finished up the prep work for her Monday customers.

  It was no surprise that Robin was hesitant to talk, but she began to relax and chat a bit more openly. I’d started with, “Where are you from? I remember you’d said at the cemetery that you didn’t have anyone to lean on family-wise. Is there any extended family you can call or any close friends nearby?” I was hoping to lighten the mood, but instead got knocked on my ass.

  “Mr. Lombardi, I mean Jax, you haven’t told me much about yourself. I only know that you were married to Gabi, have a daughter, and today I just discovered that Frappes is owned by your sister. You haven’t exactly been forthcoming about your life, and now you want me to open up to you just because you ask.”

  I had to admit she was brutally honest, a quality that I deeply admired. I raised my napkin up in surrender, hoping she’d bite at my white flag of defeat. “Fine. You got me. If I tell you a little more about myself, will you tell me something about you? A little tit for tat.”

  Watching me with amusement over the rim of her cup, she took a few sips of her macchiato. “I can deal with that.” She set her drink down and eyed the plate of Boston crème donuts my sister had set between us for dessert. Picking one up and taking a bite of it, I watched as her mouth formed a small “O” as she went to take a bite of the donut. I felt my crotch stir to life for the first time in years and found myself wondering what it would feel like to have her lips surrounding my cock. What the hell am I thinking? Hello! Have you forgotten about your late wife? My mind screamed at me, quickly killing the direction my thoughts were headed. I wish I could just get over feeling so guilty about even looking at another woman. It’s not like I’d be cheating.

  I couldn’t deal with watching how she was eating that donut, so I got up to stretch my legs and said, “Give me your best shot at whatever you’d like to know.”

  I’d never anticipated the question I got. “How did you and Gabi meet?”

  It was an innocent enough question, but it stopped me in my tracks, and I had to sit in the nearest seat, a few tables away, or else I’d probably fall onto the floor. I could feel my legs start to buckle under me. I looked at Robin and gave her the most honest answer I could. “We grew up together. Her family and mine have been friends for as long as I can remember. I even recall the day Gabi was born. I was only five at the time, but I was just as protective of her as I was Brianna, who’d been born a few months earlier.”

  She appeared puzzled. “So your parents all
knew one another?”

  I could see the wheels spinning in her head, so I went on to tell how my parents, Nicco and Emily, had moved around the country for my father’s contracting work. They’d come to Orlando, and my father had found steady work in his field of construction and later became the manager to oversee the building of Alexander’s house. “My father liked the area where the house was being built and had saved up enough of his own money to buy a plot of land just down the road from Alexander. One thing led to another, dreams were shared, and before we knew it, he’d helped my father get out of the construction industry and open up an authentic Italian and Pizza restaurant here in O-town.”

  I watched as recognition dawned on her. “Your dad is Nicco of Nicco’s Pizza?”

  “Yes. My mom helped him run the restaurant, and I grew up helping out with various tasks there. Alexander had given my father access to some of his items imported from Italy, at the same discount he’d charged larger competitors, in exchange for him promising to put a couple of the Prescott family’s personal recipes on the menu. He later went on to help my mom open up a bookstore specializing in high tea, scones, and other British accompaniments in Winter Park.”

  A look of realization flooded her face. “Is that why you and your sister look so different? Is your mom from England?”

  I nodded. “I got mom’s light brown hair with blonde accents and my father’s Italian tan, while Brianna managed mom’s fair skin and my father’s mahogany hair. We both ended up with my mother’s green eyes though.”