Rock Chick Revenge

by Ashley, Kristen

  Luke’s Mom had arrived. Saved by Super Mom Stark.

  I fought the urge to grab Mrs. Stark and run screaming from the house. Instead, I walked to the phone and tagged it.

  “Yo,” I said into the phone, turning and giving a lame wave to Mrs. Stark who was staring at my family in genteel shock. Then her eyes hit me, she saw my face, the genteel went out of the shock and she stared at me with unhidden concern.

  “Yo, girl. We’re pickin’ you up in twenty minutes,” Shirleen said in my ear. “Ally got Brody shitfaced last night and got some info outta him. We got a battle plan.”

  “Um, I have a situation here,” I mumbled, walking into the dining room with the phone as I watched Mrs. Stark greeting my Mom and sisters with warm Mrs. Stark hugs that, if you asked my opinion, they did not deserve. Unfortunately, Mrs. Stark didn’t discriminate, not even against Super Bitches.

  Shirleen’s voice was sharp. “What kind of situation?”

  “My Mom and sisters showed up unexpectedly and Luke arranged for me to go to breakfast with his Mom. They’re all here and I don’t think I can get away.”

  Silence.

  “Shirleen?”

  “Shit, that boy is good,” she told me, sounding impressed.

  He was and it pissed me off.

  “Yeah, and it bought him forty-eight hours of Ava Barlow Silent Treatment,” I informed her.

  “Not sure that’s good retaliation, Luke don’t talk much,” Shirleen noted.

  He might not talk much to other people but the shit he said to me rocked my world.

  “I have to go,” I said.

  “No problem. We’ll move on the leads we got and we’ll keep in touch.”

  “I’m missing all the fun,” I complained, sounding like Bad Ava.

  “You find a way to ditch ‘em, let me know. I’ll come get you.”

  “Thanks, Shirleen.”

  “No reason to thank me, haven’t had this much fun in months. Later.”

  Disconnect.

  I turned toward the living room.

  “We’re all going to breakfast,” Marilyn announced, a bitchy smile on her face (Marilyn had two smiles, fake-sugar-sweet and bitchy, she mostly used bitchy with me). It was clear she was looking forward to this and I didn’t take that as a good sign.

  “Yeah, that way you can tell all of us what’s going on with you and Luke,” Sofia chimed in.

  I looked for an excuse and my eyes caught their suitcases. “Why don’t you check into a hotel first? Then we’ll make it brunch,” I suggested, thinking that would buy me time to come up with an excuse to ditch them.

  “We’re staying with you,” Mom said, foiling my plan.

  I stared.

  “Yeah, we have it all figured out,” Sofia told me. “Mom can sleep on your futon and Marilyn and I’ll sleep in your bed. You can sleep on the couch.”

  Of course, I’d get the couch in my own damned house.

  I didn’t have the time, or the energy, to fight the fight. I needed reinforcements. Macho man with a great mustache and a tight ass reinforcements.

  “I need to take a shower,” I said.

  “We’ll wait,” Mom replied.

  I looked at Mrs. Stark. She was smiling at me and I could swear she was trying to communicate that it was all going to be okay.

  She was so wrong.

  I ran upstairs, straight to my bedroom, closed the door, nabbed the phone and called Luke.

  “Yeah?” he answered.

  “Luke –” I began.

  “I thought you weren’t speakin’ to me,” he sounded like he was smiling.

  “My Mom and sisters are here.”

  Silence for a beat then, smile gone from his voice, he asked, “Come again?”

  “Your Mom told my Mom that we were together and it looked serious. My Mom gathered the Barlow Bitches from Hell and they all came, in their words, to ‘see for themselves’.”

  “Why the fuck would they do that?”

  “I don’t know,” I cried, but quietly so my family wouldn’t hear. “They’re the Barlow Bitches from Hell. Why do they do anything?”

  “You sound agitated,” Luke pointed out the obvious.

  “Did you hear me?” I squealed then sucked in a controlling breath before I went on more quietly. “My Mom and sisters are here to see for themselves that we’re serious.”

  “Babe, calm down.”

  “Calm is not an option. I need cookies. I need tequila. I need cookies drenched in tequila. I can barely cope with my family when my life isn’t complicated to the point of insanity. But, may I remind you, my life is complicated to the point of insanity!”

  My voice was again rising.

  He was quiet for a moment then he said using The Voice, “Ava, you can handle it.”

  I took a deep breath and replied softly, hating that I had to admit it but, bottom line, I had to admit it, “I want to say I can, Luke, but I can’t. They’re going to chew me up and spit me out. They always do.”

  “Is Ma there?”

  “Yes.”

  “She’ll look after you.”

  “Luke, even Super Mom Stark is no match for the Barlow Super Bitches. You know that.”

  Another moment of silence then, “I’ll be there in fifteen.”

  I went still and stared at the wall. “What did you just say?”

  “Hang on, I’ll be there in fifteen.”

  I kept staring at the wall, completely unable to comprehend the fact that Luke was going to drop the hunt for Noah and come to my rescue.

  “Seriously?” I asked.

  “A coupla hours ago I told you no one fucks with you. I meant no one fucks with you.”

  Oh… my… God.

  “Luke –”

  “See you in fifteen.”

  Disconnect.

  I love him, Good Ava told me.

  We are SO going to touch ourselves tonight while he’s inside us, Bad Ava promised.

  There was no time to contemplate payback for Luke’s latest demonstration of why he was The Best Guy Ever. I ran to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face, put in my contacts, took a quick shower, pulled a comb through my wet hair and slathered peony-scented lotion on my body.

  I was rushing back to my room when I heard the front door open and Sofia, Marilyn and Mom all cried at the same exact time with the same exact sickly, sweet girlie voices. “Luke!”

  Yuck!

  I yanked on jeans, a tight, black tee that said “Harley Davidson Motorcycles’ on the front in brown with a sage green horseshoe around the words and sparkly green sequins on the letters. I added a kickass black belt and black flip-flops. Because I was unable to do anything but, I added a massive dose of silver at ears, neck, throat and fingers.

  Then I ran downstairs.

  The women were sitting drinking coffee and gazing at a still-standing Luke (all but Mrs. Stark) like he was a god fallen to earth. Marilyn and Sofia’s looks had the added dimension of openly showing they wanted to rip his clothes off.

  I will repeat, my life sucked!

  I walked into the room and Luke’s eyes cut to me. “Hey,” I said.

  His eyes dropped to my chest as I approached him. When I was within reaching distance, his arm slid around my waist and he curled me into his side.

  “Harleys are sweet, babe, but we’re a Triumph family.”

  Ho-ly crap.

  Did he just say that?

  I looked at him. His eyes were warm and affectionate.

  Yep, he just said that.

  He kissed my neck, lifted his head, stared in my eyes and murmured, “You smell like flowers.”

  “Peonies,” I told him.

  He gave me a half-grin. “Nice,” he murmured, using The Voice with the Velvet Edge.

  My knees wobbled.

  “Oh my God,” Marilyn breathed, which was quite a task considering her mouth was hanging open.

  “This is lovely,” Mrs. Stark cut in, jumping from the couch, looking nearly giddy with happiness.
“Now we can all go to breakfast.”

  “Why does Luke have a gash on his face?” Sofia asked. “Is it the same reason Ava has a black eye?”

  “We’ll talk about it at breakfast,” Mrs. Stark said firmly, happy giddiness fading fast.

  “Ma, I can’t go to breakfast,” Luke told her and my heart clenched.

  Shit.

  So much for Luke coming to my rescue.

  “Oh no! Why not?” Mom asked.

  “I thought, you coming by –” Sofia started but Luke interrupted her. He did this by pinning her with a look that would make Satan himself shiver in the fiery depths of hell.

  “I came by for Ava because she’s too sweet to tell you what I’m gonna tell you.”

  Uh-oh.

  I had the feeling Luke was in the mood to be brutally honest.

  “Luke –” I started but he kept talking.

  “You’ll have breakfast and then Ava’s got some shit she’s gotta do. So I’ll answer your questions right now. Yeah, Ava and I are together, it’s serious, it’s headin’ somewhere important and anything else is none of your business. You don’t like that, too bad. You get breakfast with her then she’s gotta take off. During breakfast, you’ll be nice to her. I hear anything different, then you answer to me. Is that clear?”

  Yep, Luke was in the mood to be brutally honest.

  “How did this happen? When did it happen? How could it happen?” Marilyn asked. She was, in the face of the impossible fact of a Luke and Ava (and apparently Triumph motorcycles) Togetherness, incapable of being clear she understood Luke’s threat.

  “It happened because she’s Ava,” Luke answered like that was all the reason needed and my knees wobbled again at the same time my throat got tight.

  “That would be why I’d think it couldn’t happen,” Sofia said under her breath but loud enough for everyone to hear.

  My body got stiff but Luke’s body got preparing-for-gonzo tense. It was then I realized my “fuckin’ sisters” weren’t just bitches, they weren’t very smart either.

  “Sofia,” Mom muttered before Luke could retort.

  “Sofia,” Mrs. Stark cut in at the same time as my Mom and she sounded pissy, something I’d never heard from her before. “What on earth is the matter with you?”

  I looked at Mrs. Stark and blinked. She looked unhappy, not just unhappy but nearly Lucas Stark Gonzo Unhappy.

  Wow, definitely pissy and then some.

  “Goodness me, we all know they’ve had something special for years. You act like you didn’t grow up and see it like everyone on the block did. Mrs. Weinberg said years ago they would make a sweet couple and when I told Maggie Regan a few days ago she said she knew it would happen all along. It’s not just me who thinks this is hardly surprising. I just wish it hadn’t taken so long.” Mrs. Stark took a deep breath then went on and her eyes moved to her son. “As for you, we are not a Triumph or Harley Davidson family. I keep telling you, Lucas, motorcycles are dangerous. You’re going to give me a stroke, riding around on those things. Now that you’ve got Ava, you need to think before you race around in your Porsche and on those bikes.”

  “He’s got a Porsche?” Marilyn breathed.

  “You’ve got bikes? Plural?” I asked, staring up at Luke.

  “What’s with the suitcases?” Luke asked, ignoring Marilyn and my questions, his eyes on the bags, his mind on a topic he obviously thought was slightly more pressing then the varied options for transport that he owned.

  “We’re staying here,” Mom informed Luke.

  Luke’s mouth went tight.

  “Ava’s sleeping on the couch,” Marilyn shared.

  At that, Luke’s entire face went tight and he looked at Mom. “Two choices, either I put you women in a hotel or Ava and me go to a hotel.”

  Mom stared at Luke. “But –”

  Luke cut in. “I don’t have a lot of time. The one thing I know is, Ava isn’t sleepin’ on the fuckin’ couch. You have to choose, now.”

  “Lucas, language,” Mrs. Stark put in and I was pretty certain an hysterical giggle was going to burst forth at Mrs. Stark chiding her son for his language.

  “Choose,” Luke clipped and at his tone my giggle died an early death.

  “I’m not sure,” Mom said and I could tell she desperately wanted to take Luke up on the offer of a free ride but thought it might appear rude and greedy in front of Mrs. Stark.

  Luke could tell too. “You stay here, Ava and me will go to a hotel,” Luke looked down at me. “I get things taken care of, I’ll take everyone to dinner tonight. I don’t and you don’t, I’ll arrange for your family to have a nice dinner and you do what you gotta do.”

  “But, we came here to see you and Ava,” Mom protested.

  “Ava has shit to do,” Luke replied.

  “We came all this way,” Marilyn added.

  “Yeah, and you didn’t tell Ava you were comin’ and, I’ll repeat, she has shit to do.”

  “But –” Marilyn kept going.

  “Take a close look at your sister then take a look at me. Does it look like we got time to drop everything because you hit town with no notice?”

  Ho-ly crap but Luke didn’t take any shit. I was impressed more than I was normally impressed.

  “What’s going on?” Mom asked, eyes narrowing on Luke.

  Luke looked at the ceiling. I tore my gaze away from him and looked at Mom.

  “I told you,” I answered. “I have a little bit of trouble. Luke is helping me and we both are trying to sort it out.”

  “What kind of trouble?” Mom pushed.

  “How many kinds of trouble get you a cut lip and a black eye?” Luke asked, aiming his angry stare at Mom. “There’s only one kind of trouble, the bad kind,” he finished.

  “I’m her mother!” Mom, it was clear, had just lost patience. “Why don’t I know what’s going on? Not only is her face all banged up but she’s dating you, of all people. I mean, that George boy I can see Ava with, but you?”

  Luke looked at me, not knowing George and I felt the knife that was plunged in my belly twisting. George was serious history, pre-weight loss, pre-Rick-Dave-and-Noah, a sweet guy but a geek and so not in Luke’s league it was sad.

  The fact that Mom still thought I was out of Luke’s league hurt like hell. I’d worked hard to be a Barlow Bombshell but that was totally lost on her. For the past week four seriously hot guys had been after me like I was the best thing since sliced bread but in my head that evaporated. Mom thought me doing the impossible – landing Luke – was bigger news than me being “all banged up” and that was killer.

  “George?” Luke asked me.

  “Her first boyfriend,” Marilyn answered helpfully.

  “He wasn’t my first boyfriend,” I mumbled even though he kind of was.

  “You and George were cute together. He was all snugly soft. Perfect for you,” Sofia threw in.

  “Snugly soft is right,” Marilyn said.

  “The soft is right. Dough boy,” Sofia giggled

  “This is unbelievable,” Luke growled low, watching the Barlow Super Bitch Byplay with an angry gaze. I could tell his control was slipping and I couldn’t do a thing about it.

  “Didn’t he pop your cherry?” Marilyn put in and my stomach plummeted as my lungs seized.

  Luke went totally still.

  Here we go. They had warmed up and were ready to throw down.

  “Marilyn!” Mom snapped, not protecting me, more embarrassed that Luke and Mrs. Stark could hear.

  “Well, he did,” Sofia told Mom.

  “That’s no reason to share,” Mom went on.

  “I knew the minute it happened,” Marilyn stated, so into the Barlow Super Bitch Fest she ignored Mom, Luke’s scary anger filling the room, Mrs. Stark’s horrified, furious gaze and me. “He always followed her around like a little puppy, after he nailed her it got worse.”

  “She probably popped his cherry too,” Sofia told Marilyn and they were now holding a conversation like n
o one else was in the room.

  “Can you imagine?” Marilyn bugged her eyes out at Sofia at the very thought of Dough Boy George and Fatty, Fatty Four-Eyes fumbling around popping each other’s cherries.