Dice (A Righteous Outlaws Novel #3)

by Savannah Rylan

  I smirked. “Do I ever?”

  His eyes dropped from mine and his shoulders slumped. “This time, it’s worse. It makes all those other times look like a trip to fucking Disney World.”

  I had no idea what kind of mess Miles got himself into now, but, for the first time, I was scared. Not for Miles or myself but for Allison. She didn’t need to get swept up into whatever shit storm Miles was involved in.

  We sat at the counter, drinking the coffee Allison made, except she was sipping on chamomile tea. She tried to get Miles to drink it, but, after one sip, he was spitting and wiping his tongue with a napkin, claiming it tasted like flowers.

  An hour later, after another cup of coffee, Allison said good night and headed back to bed. She pressed her lips to mine, and I wanted to follow her back to our bedroom.

  Our bedroom. Where the fuck did that come from?

  I took her face in my hands, looked into her sleepy eyes, and kissed her back. Then, I watched her ass sway back and forth as she made her way down the hall.

  Miles started to laugh, bringing me back to reality.

  “Shut the fuck up,” I muttered.

  He held his hands up. “I didn’t even say anything.”

  “You don’t have to. I’ve known you long enough to know what you’re thinking.”

  “You have no fucking idea what I’m thinking right now.”

  “No? You’re not thinking that I’m a pussy whipped idiot who is ruining his life by shacking up with some chick?”

  Miles smirked and shook his head. “Normally, that’d be exactly what I’m fucking thinking, but, this time, it’s different.”

  “And, why the fuck is that?”

  “Because she’s different and you’re different with her. You look…shit, you look fucking happy.”

  “I am. I always thought Cash and Kade were fucking morons, but they just figured it out before the rest of us.”

  I didn’t do relationships. I always thought they were a waste of fucking time. I watched my Mom go from one fucked up relationship to the next. I watched Nick change wives as often as most guys changed their fucking underwear. It all seemed pointless, but then I met Allison, and I never wanted anyone so bad. And, now every time I looked at her, I couldn’t imagine a life without her. Couldn’t imagine not coming home to her at night and waking up to her in my arms.

  But this life. It wasn’t for her. She deserved better. She deserved a goddamned white picket fence and a man who didn’t dodge bullets on a daily basis. Who wasn’t a fucking criminal and who didn’t have people knocking on the door at two in the goddamned morning.

  “But enough about me. What the fuck is going on?”

  Miles let out a rush of air and grabbed the bottle of whiskey off the counter. He twisted the top off and tilted the bottle to his lips, taking a massive gulp. “I fucked up.”

  “What’d you do, Miles?”

  “What haven’t I done?” His voice was weighed down by regret. His gaze lost to the distance.

  I grabbed two rock glasses and poured the whiskey from the bottle, passing him a glass. “Why don’t you start from the beginning?”

  He downed the glass in one gulp, and then quickly poured himself another. He didn’t even put the bottle down before he started chugging the new glass. He stopped halfway through and placed it on the counter.

  His gaze went dark as he stared off again.

  “Dammit, Miles, fucking talk already.”

  He swallowed the rest of his drink then took a deep breath. “I lost control again. It only took shooting up one time to send me back down that spiral I’ve gone down so many fucking times before.” He laughed, but it wasn’t a good laugh. It was more self-deprecating than anything else. “It’s an expensive habit.”

  Right then, I knew where he was going with it. My gut was right. Miles was stealing from the company. From the brotherhood. From his family. All to support his fucking habit. “Sienna isn’t losing her mind then. You’ve been stealing from us?”

  He nodded.

  “Goddamn it, Miles. Sienna is going to blow a gasket.”

  He ran a hand down his face before resting both hands on the counter. “That’s not the worst of it. That part’s actually like a fucking walk in the park compared to the rest of it.”

  This time, I downed the liquid in my glass and refilled it. What could possibly be worse than stealing from his family? Spending the money on drugs and making us feel guilty for accusing him when shit didn’t add up right. What else could he have done? The muscles in my neck tensed as I braced myself for the truth. Silently sending up a prayer that whatever he had to say wasn’t nearly as bad as he thought it was. Though, it was pointless, because Miles didn’t overreact. He downplayed things if anything. So, if he thought it was bad, it was really fucking bad.

  I caught his eyes across the counter and nodded. “Give it to me straight. No bullshit.”

  For a long moment, he stared at me. “Oh fuck.” He grabbed the bottle and downed half of the amber liquid. “I was getting the shit from Montamos.”

  My jaw ticked at his confession, my fists clenched, and every muscle in my body tightened. He was getting his shit from our enemy. From people who tried to kill us, and would have succeeded, if we weren’t smart enough to outwit them. He wasn’t playing with fire; he was fucking engulfed in it.

  “Despite the money I stole, I was still in debt with them. So, to settle my debt, I became their fucking guinea pig. They wanted to know if they were being screwed by their supplier so all their new shit they tested on me.”

  Disbelief sucker punched me in the fucking gut as I slumped against the counter. “So, that night you called me to come get your ass… when you were tripping balls… that’s why you were in their territory?”

  “It was some good shit that night.” He let out a heavy breath and pulled out his comb, running it through his hair before putting it back into his back pocket. “But yeah. That’s why I was there.”

  I snatched the bottle off the counter and chugged. Fuck the cup. We were so far past that at this point. We needed a plan. Something to get him out of this shitfest he created. “You have to come clean to Sienna.”

  “I know.”

  He plopped down onto a stool, and rested his elbows on the counter. In all the years I had known Miles, through all the shit he had done, I had never seen him so defeated. I don’t think I’d ever seen him even close to looking defeated. He always carried his fuck ups with pride and arrogance. He didn’t give a shit about the consequences or the disappointment from anyone. And, somehow, he always managed to turn shit around and make it right. But I think he knew what I knew.

  There was no making this right. He stole from his brothers. He played with the enemy. Sienna was one thing, but our brothers? That was a whole other thing. I wasn’t sure they could forgive treason. Even if it was Miles.

  “Today. After work. Me and you are going into Sienna’s office and you’re going to come clean. About everything. Maybe me being there will be like a buffer, and she won’t kill you.”

  Miles nodded. “Doubtful, but okay. What about now?”

  “I’m going back to bed with my girl, and you’re sleeping on the fucking couch. But I’m telling you right now, if any of those fuckers show up on the doorstep, you get them as far away from here as you possibly can. I’m not putting Allison’s life at risk because you fucked up.”

  “Got it.”

  I started toward the hallway when Miles called my name.

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks.”

  It might have only been one word, but that one word held a million others.

  I wanted to say that he was my brother and he didn’t need to thank me. It was what we did. Instead, I cracked a smile then continued making my way back to my girl.

  The room was dark, but, in a couple hours, sun would filter through the curtains and another day would start.

  I slipped into the bed, and Allison curled into my side. Her warm body pressed nicely
against mine, and I wrapped my hand around her, holding her close.

  “Everything okay?” she asked, nuzzling closer to my chest.

  No. Everything was not okay. It was a fucking mess, and I wasn’t sure what tomorrow would bring. I didn’t want to lie to her, but I also didn’t want her to worry about anything. So, I stroked her arm and kissed the top of her head. “It will be,” I said, and tried to make myself believe it.

  She propped her chin on my chest, and fixed those pretty cobalt eyes on me. “Your tone makes me think otherwise.”

  “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

  Her fingers toyed with the small patch of hair on my chest. “I’m worried, because I can tell you are.”

  She could see right through me, something not many people even cared to attempt. But she knew me better than the people I had been around most of my life and she cared. That was more than I deserved from someone like her.

  “You’re so tense,” she said, pressing her lips to my pec. The simple kiss spread heat through my body, causing my dick to twitch with want. She tossed the blankets off of us, and began to kiss down my skin.

  “Al, what are you doing?”

  She looked up at me, biting her bottom lip and a damn sexy smile pushing through. “I want to make you feel better. Please let me.” Her tongue swirled down farther, and I gripped the sheets.

  “You don’t have to do that.” Allison wasn’t like the whores that I fucked in the past. Who would suck my dick as an attempt to weasel into my life so I would make them my old lady. Allison didn’t need any tricks. She didn’t need to do this.

  “I know, but I want to. I want to make you feel better.”

  “You make me feel better just by being here.”

  Her hands followed her tongue to my thighs, brushing slightly against my balls. “I want to taste you. Don’t make me beg.”

  My fingers knotted in her hair, wanting to drag her back up to me, so I could stay in control. But then she glanced at me with want and desperation, and every reason why I didn’t want her to take my dick into her pretty little mouth, vanished. I let my head fall back on the pillow, and guided her head to my throbbing cock.

  Her tongue swirled around the head before her lips parted and she took me into her mouth. Warm silky heat surged through my veins with each bob of her head. Desire and need to take back control slowly faded as she cupped my balls.

  “Holy fuck, baby,” I ground out, as she took me completely. Satisfaction rolled through me with each stroke of her tongue. My heart raced, my breath grew short and fast as she sucked me toward a finish.

  My hands tightened on her hair, as red-hot pleasure erupted inside me, centering itself and building the pressure to a release.

  Her nails dug into my thigh, and it was my undoing. “I’m going to come, baby,” I said, and tried to pull her head away, but it only fueled her to move faster. Her lips slid up and down on my cock as she licked and sucked until the pressure boiled over, and I came hard and fast in her sweet mouth.

  All the tension that had been holding steady in my shoulders and jaw slipped away. Allison milked me dry and then smiled up at me, beautiful and so fucking innocent.

  Looking into her eyes, I realized, she wasn’t only taking care of me, she was making me fall hopelessly in love with her.

  17

  Allison

  Eugene insisted on following me to work this morning. I tried to ask him why he was being so overly protective and weird, but he wouldn’t tell me. I hated that he was keeping something from me, but I couldn’t really argue since I was still keeping something from him. The tension from last night was back, and he couldn’t seem to relax for the life of him.

  I was happy that I was able to take it away for a little while. Give him some peace before he had to deal with whatever it was he had to deal with. Still, I wish I knew what that was, even if I didn’t deserve to.

  We pulled up to Sienna’s house, and I put my car in park. Eugene didn’t waste any time hopping off his bike and coming to my door. He looked around the street, and I rested my hand on his chest.

  “Paranoia isn’t a good look for you,” I said.

  “Sorry.” He took my face in his hands and pressed his lips to mine… soft, gentle and not nearly enough. I didn’t think I’d ever get enough of him. I always wanted him, and he didn’t even have to be in the room with me for that need to become so overwhelming. I just had to think about him, those melted chocolate eyes, the way his hands moved across my body with perfect precision, and how when he wrapped his arms around me I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

  I wasn’t supposed to fall in love. I wasn’t supposed to stay here. None of this was in my plan and, as each day passed, that original plan became a distant memory. Growing my online store, the condo I wanted to buy to finally own my own home, and the simple life I dreamed of, all meant nothing to me now. If Eugene wasn’t there with me, I didn’t want any of it.

  This wasn’t the life I wanted. I still wasn’t sure if it was something I could accept, but I would. For him, I would. And that thought alone scared the shit out of me. It was always me and Mom and I never let anyone else in. The fact that Eugene came into my life so easily and effortlessly made me think that maybe it was fate. Maybe I was always meant to come here, to be with my brother and nephew and to meet Eugene.

  But, if that were true, then I needed to be honest. We needed to be honest with each other. I had waited long enough, and the truth had to come out soon. The longer I kept this from him and Kade, the more likely they would resent me. Hate me. Accuse me of deceit and God only knows what else.

  I wanted to slap myself over and over again for not being honest that first day. For not coming clean and telling Sienna who I really was when I had the chance. If they didn’t accept me after they knew the truth, the only person I had to blame was myself.

  Eugene held me in his arms, and I didn’t want to walk away. I didn’t want to leave the protective nook he created around me.

  “If you have to go out today, make sure it’s to places with a lot of people.” His jaw ticked, and my stomach knotted at the obvious concern turning him into a tension filled mess.

  “You sure it’s nothing I have to worry about?”

  “Precautions. That’s all.”

  “You’re scaring me.”

  Shock widened his eyes as he took my face back in his hands. “That’s the last thing I ever want you to feel when you’re with me. I will never let anything happen to you. I promise.”

  “I know you won’t. But I’m still scared, and I don’t even know what I’m scared of.”

  “I’ll tell you what I’m scared of,” he said. I reached up and cupped his jaw, needing to touch him. To feel the day old stubble against my hand.

  “Tell me.”

  “I’m scared that I’ll wake up one day and you won’t be there.”

  I shook my head. “That’ll never happen.”

  “How do you know? You’re scared now and this is nothing. What happens if shit hits the fan?”

  “I don’t even know what that means because you keep so much from me. I don’t know if you’re trying to protect me, or because what you do is confidential, but I want to know what you’re up against. I want to know that I can count on you coming home to me every night.”

  He pressed his lips to the bridge of my nose. “I hate seeing fear mark your beautiful face, but you’re asking the impossible of me. I can’t guarantee that, just like Nick or Cash’s dad before him couldn’t guarantee that. I’m not going to stand here and make a promise I’m not sure I can keep.”

  The severity of the situation hit me like a boulder rolling off a cliff and landing on me. Whatever he was involved in had the potential to…kill him. Even seeing Stumpy with a bullet wound didn’t keep me away. But it wasn’t Eugene with the wound. For some stupid reason, I convinced myself he was indestructible, so to hear from his own mouth that he wasn’t, rocked me to my core.

  “What’s going
on out here?” Sienna asked from the front porch, DC perched on her hip. I was so consumed in Eugene I didn’t even hear the door open. Didn’t hear her boots on the wood planks. Didn’t hear DC squealing with joy at me and Eugene’s arrival.

  “Just talking,” Eugene said, flashing his usual smile, so easily turning off all the emotions that were just so evident on his face seconds earlier.

  I wished I could do the same, but I didn’t think I had it in me. Tension pulled tight at the corner of my eyes, fear consumed my body, and made my movements delayed and jagged.

  “Can you just give us a minute? We’ll be right in,” Eugene said. Trepidation showed bright on Sienna’s face, but after Eugene gave her a nudge of the head she turned on the heel of her boot and went inside.

  “Hey.” His hands took mine and he brought them to his mouth, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. “I can’t guarantee you what you want me to, but I guarantee you this. I will do everything in my power to make sure I come home to you every night. You will be my reason to live. My reason to stop taking stupid risks and putting myself in unnecessary danger. I will do all of that for you and, if you know me at all, you will know how huge that is. I don’t do anything for anyone. I live my life the way I live it, but for you and only you, I’m willing to change.”

  Tears pricked my eyes, but he was so damn strong and I refused to be some weak damsel in distress so I forced them back. “I don’t want you to change for me. I don’t want you to resent me for turning you into someone you’re not.”

  He laughed and ran his thumb across the apple of my cheek. “Funny thing is, for the first time in my life, I feel like this is what I was meant for. Me and you. And if that means I have to make a few sacrifices, then fuck I’m sure as hell going to do that. Guns and jail don’t scare me, but losing you scares the shit out of me. But I’ll completely understand if you want to walk away now. I won’t take that choice from you.”

  I reached up running my fingers along his jaw. “Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be.”