A Mother For His Child

by Lilian Darcy

  ‘Yes,’ Curtis agreed quickly. ‘Plenty of help. No risk.’

  ‘We’ll all go up to the deck again, shall we, Will?’

  Her quick glance in his direction faltered as soon as their eyes met. Used to her belligerent glare, he had to hide a smile of satisfaction.

  Glare all you want in future, Maggie, but you’re not going to fool me again.

  ‘Yeah, sure,’ he answered blandly. ‘I’ll tell Daniel and help him put the toys away.’

  ‘OK.’ Maggie’s voice wasn’t quite steady, and she was frowning. She looked stunned.

  ‘How long have we known each other?’ he said to her quietly as they returned to the private part of the house.

  ‘Fifteen years, on and off. You know that.’

  ‘And that’s how long it’s taken us to get this out in the open. I’m glad it happened. Maybe now it’ll be easier for us to work out what we want from each other.’

  One look from those blue eyes told him she wasn’t yet convinced.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ‘IS THAT a for-sale sign, back there?’ Will asked.

  ‘Looks like one,’ Maggie offered in reply.

  She had practically flinched at the question, as she’d been flinching all afternoon at things he said. It wasn’t difficult to read between the lines. He was trying Picnic Point on for size. He’d asked about the snow in winter, and then about shopping in Wayans Falls. Was he thinking about the need to buy a winter wardrobe for this climate? Now he was apparently conjecturing about real estate.

  At least he wasn’t dwelling on that kiss.

  Dear lord, in all the years they’d known each other, it had been their very first. They’d come close…she thought they’d come close…the night that he’d talked about earlier, when they’d sat together beside the pool on a hot summer’s night at someone’s party. A kiss…she thought…had hung in the air between them like a shiny bubble, bursting before it could be touched.

  Soon after this, Alison had broken up with Will for several months, following some serious but never-explained argument. Maggie had entertained several foolish fantasies about just how crushingly and completely she would put Will in his place if he turned around and asked her out.

  He hadn’t. Perhaps he’d guessed only too well what her reaction would have been.

  Instead, she’d seen him around campus with half a dozen different women, most of them blonde, all of them gorgeous, and all of them apparently smitten. Nauseating! Despicable! Oh, had she bitten his head off if he said anything more to her than ‘Hello’ during that period!

  Alison hadn’t reacted the same way. She’d wanted Will back. Finally had admitted it to him during an emotional public scene in a crowded student hang-out just off campus. They had been an acknowledged couple again within days, and ‘more in love than ever’ Alison had said.

  So Maggie and Will had never kissed until today.

  Oh, lord, and she’d hated it! Hated how wonderful it was, how powerful it was, how abruptly it had ended, how unfinished it seemed. Most of all, she hated how weak she’d felt, then and now. She was suddenly vulnerable to him in a way she’d always known she would be if he touched her.

  Mark, oh, Mark, I miss you! she thought fiercely. We were such friends, and so comfortable together. That’s what I wanted. That’s what worked. Not this. This frightens me too much.

  ‘Let’s head out across the lake,’ she said to Will, her voice a little too cheerful and brisk. ‘Shall I take the wheel again now?’

  ‘Sure,’ he answered.

  She had invited him to pilot the small motorboat when they’d first set out. He had chosen their route as well, taking them north and hugging the shores of the lake so he could look at the houses as they puttered along at a snail’s pace. He had come at Maggie with all those questions.

  How many of these places were just summer vacation homes, and how many were suitable for wintering over? How easy was it to convert a house? As a rule, was it just a matter of installing a furnace to provide central heating?

  Well, she was sick of the questions, sick of seeing the speculation and practical intent in his eyes. Lord, if he really liked it here, he didn’t need her to offer him a partnership, he could just set up on his own! There was certainly room for another doctor.

  Daniel seemed to be enjoying the ride, seated at the wheel on his father’s lap. He wore a little orange life-vest and a wide-brimmed hat. Will would occasionally reach a hand into the water, without comment or fuss, and scoop some of the cool liquid onto the little boy’s neck and arms.

  Hopefully they could both handle a bit of speed. Maggie needed it, not least because the engine noise would drown attempts at conversation. She took the wheel and waited until Will had moved to the back and positioned Daniel on his lap again. Then she opened the throttle and veered out across the lake.

  ‘I’m going to take you past the Baileys’ island and down towards Tongue Mountain,’ she shouted.

  ‘Sounds good,’ he yelled back.

  The engine roared and the wind tore the breath from Maggie’s mouth. The boat smacked hard onto the surface of the water several times as they crossed someone else’s wake, and the nose of the little craft lifted with the increased speed. The hot afternoon sun beat down on her back, while the wind cooled her limbs. The sticky cobwebs of awareness disentangled themselves from her skin and blew away.

  Behind her, she heard Will yelling, ‘Whoo-hoo! Maggie, you’re a speed demon!’

  She could hear Daniel yelling and laughing, too. She turned to them, grinning. ‘Faster?’

  ‘This is just fine, thanks! Fast enough for Daniel, at any rate.’

  ‘Daniel’s laughing. I think he’s the real speed demon, and you’ve got your heart in your mouth.’

  ‘Calling my bluff, Maggie Lawless?’

  ‘Every chance I get, Will Braggett!’ But her gaze faltered almost immediately when his brown eyes met hers.

  ‘OK, then, I’ll say it,’ he shouted. ‘Slow down!’

  ‘The best way not to be scared, you know, is to go even faster.’

  He laughed. ‘All right. I’m not convinced, but let’s try it.’

  ‘Here goes!’

  They made a wide, noisy arc around the Baileys’ island, where Laura and her new baby should now be safely settled with help from friends. Today, Maggie tried to quiet her conviction that the place wasn’t a long-term solution for Curtis and his family, while she simply enjoyed the view instead.

  After selling his multi-million-dollar business, Curtis had built a magnificent house on the island. Huge windows looked towards the jutting foot of Tongue Mountain, while a dense belt of dark green pines clothed the house in privacy from other angles. There was a dock and a fenced area that doubled as a tennis court in summer and an ice rink in winter. There was a wide deck connected by French doors to an indoor heated pool. Every room was huge and luxuriously finished. Maggie and Mark had been to drinks there twice.

  The Baileys had lived on the island for five years, since Curtis’s multiple sclerosis had first begun to take its toll on his stamina and abilities. Maggie sensed that this phase of proud yet pampered seclusion was drawing to a close for the family. They’d have to move to a more practical location soon. She understood why they didn’t want to accept the fact just yet.

  ‘Are we going as far as Tongue Mountain?’ Will shouted.

  ‘No…’ Maggie slowed the boat reluctantly and veered around to commence a more sedate journey back to her dock. ‘I don’t like to go too far afield when I’m on call.’

  ‘You don’t think you’ve already had your quota of major medical drama for this weekend?’ He lapped some water onto Daniel’s face.

  ‘Just when you think that, that’s when the next big thing happens,’ she answered. ‘So do me a favour, please. Don’t think it!’

  ‘It’ll be my fault when that pager of yours starts vibrating, right?’

  ‘Right. It will.’ She frowned at him darkly.

  ‘You w
ere right about the speed, by the way.’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘We hit a critical point, right about where the needle went off the top of the speed gauge…’

  ‘It never did!’

  ‘Where my heart dropped back into place and it felt great.’

  He grinned at her, and she couldn’t stop herself from grinning back.

  ‘I’m going to get this little guy back to the hotel,’ Will said when they had moored the boat securely at the dock.

  Daniel looked a little flushed, and Will bent and streaked a scoop of the pristine lake water over his skin once more. Will himself looked relaxed, windswept and more deeply tanned than he had this morning.

  He’d probably needed the break and the change of scene, Maggie realised. In the strong afternoon light that reflected off the water, she saw stress lines around his mouth that she hadn’t noticed before, and wondered just how much of a strain his divorce from Alison had been. He wasn’t the kind of man to whine about his problems.

  Had the custody issue been decided amicably? Last night, she thought he’d said Alison hadn’t contested the matter, but now she wasn’t so sure. He’d muttered something…He hadn’t gone into detail. But, then, he wouldn’t. Of course he wouldn’t.

  She felt a sudden rush of tenderness for him that disturbed her, even while it lifted her heart strangely. Maybe there was a lot that he kept back. Maybe the aura of ease and confidence and entitlement that he carried with him hid hard battles that she knew nothing about.

  She’d been blind before. And he was too good at playing the cocky young stud. That’s not who he really was.

  ‘I expect you’d appreciate some time to yourself,’ he was saying.

  He looked at her with eyes narrowed against the light, holding Daniel’s hand casually in his. The little boy was watching an iridescent blue dragonfly that darted and hovered across the water. He seemed like a bright, curious and happy child. A darling, in fact. Maggie’s heart gave another odd little lift in her chest.

  ‘I’m a little tired after this morning,’ she agreed.

  Too fast, Maggie. You could have suggested they stay to eat, just to save face.

  She could have said it in that thin sort of way that signalled he wasn’t meant to accept.

  She added, ‘And I must get the boat out again before dinner and visit Laura and the baby.’

  ‘That’s right, and in the morning, too, you told them,’ Will said.

  ‘Post-partum complications. You know the drill. The patient herself doesn’t always recognise what’s not normal.’

  They started up towards the house. Daniel was leading Will by the hand up the path, zigzagging as his two-year-old attention was drawn by a chipmunk and then a butterfly. Will’s upper arm bumped against Maggie, and a moment later she got a perfect close-up view of his tightly muscled rear, covered in the snug, soft fit of well-washed denim as Daniel pulled him ahead. Awareness coiled low in her stomach.

  ‘Laura seems pretty capable and sensible,’ Will said over his shoulder.

  ‘Oh, she is.’

  ‘But she’s not going to want to worry Curtis, or do anything to make him feel inadequate, right?’

  ‘You picked that up?’ She tried not to sound surprised. Tried even harder not to sound impressed. Didn’t succeed. Most of her effort was taken up in battling her awareness of him.

  ‘Pretty basic psychology in a situation like that,’ he was saying, as Daniel pulled him still farther ahead. ‘She’s going to tie herself in knots protecting his ego.’

  ‘Well, I guess when it comes to ego, you’re the expert.’

  Translated, she was well aware, the waspish comment really meant, Why can’t I take my eyes off you? I’m not comfortable feeling like this!

  He only laughed. ‘Hey, I think that’s a record. You went almost six whole hours before you gave in to the irresistible temptation to cut me down to size.’

  She flushed. Couldn’t find a response.

  ‘Going to apologise?’ he prompted.

  ‘Don’t.’ Her head began to pound and she wished he would stop grinning. ‘Yes, all right,’ she conceded. ‘I’m going to apologise.’

  But he only laughed again. ‘I don’t need it, Maggie.’

  ‘What do you need, Will?’ she added desperately.

  Another kiss? A confession from her that she’d die of delight if she found herself in his arms again? There was a familiar look of confidence and ease in his face. He knew exactly what was going on inside her now. She might never succeed in fooling him again.

  He stopped in the middle of the hard gravel path and studied her. Daniel had dropped his hand and was running after another chipmunk, calling to it loudly ‘Chitmump! Wait, Chitmump!’ and happily expecting to catch it at any moment.

  Go on, Will, she thought, ask! Ask for the kiss and the confession now, crudely, so that I can come up with some cutting response. Let’s get back to familiar territory, where I won’t feel this vertigo, and where I’m not so naked.

  ‘I think I need to go home,’ he said quietly, ‘And I probably need to say something about what I did this afternoon.’

  Maggie knew at once what he meant. Got defensive at once.

  ‘You kissed me. What’s to say?’

  Will regarded her from beneath his dark brows, head tilted to one side. ‘Well, I can think of plenty to say. Like, that it was good…’ He reached out and took her hand lightly in his, then began to rub the ball of his thumb across her knuckles. Every nerve-ending in her arm started to sing. ‘That I really, really didn’t want to see Curtis Bailey at that moment. That we can do it again, any time you’re free.’

  ‘Uh…no.’ She twisted her hand out of his grasp, but at the last moment her grip tightened instinctively around his hand, so that her gesture wasn’t nearly as clear-cut as she’d wished.

  ‘In that case, do I need to say I’m sorry and it won’t happen again?’

  ‘Not that either, Will,’ she replied shortly, folding her arms across her front. She could still feel the imprint of his touch. ‘For heaven’s sake! You’re pushing the whole thing to extremes. It’s much simpler than that, isn’t it? It was nice, yes, but it was just a moment.’

  Yeah, right…

  ‘Right,’ he echoed, as if she’d said it aloud. ‘OK. A moment.’

  Was he angry? No, it looked more like the simmering frustration she saw so often in Curtis’s face. Differently sourced, however. Sexual. Had Will found a new lover at any point since his divorce? It wasn’t so easy for a harassed single parent in his thirties as it was for a good-looking twenty-something college student. Maybe he ached for it.

  Like I do…

  No, don’t go there. Daniel, please catch the chitmump! Sky, fall in! Pager, go off now! Anything!

  ‘I’m going to take Daniel into Lake George Village tomorrow for some fun stuff. Go-Karts and bowling, probably,’ Will said. ‘We’ll come home via ice cream on the way. Come if you want. Then I’m inviting us both to dinner at your place.’

  ‘Oh, you are?’ She lifted one eyebrow. ‘Aren’t invitations supposed to go the other way around? From host to guest?’

  ‘Thanks very much. We’d love to.’ He grinned his gorgeous, dark-eyed, disarming grin. ‘But I’ll take care of the food.’

  ‘Will—’

  ‘Get your signals clearer if you want me to back off, Maggie,’ he threatened, his voice like charcoal drizzled with syrup. ‘Mean it. At the moment, you don’t.’

  Will was right. She didn’t mean it. And it tortured her.

  It tortured her during her visits out to Laura and baby Joel on the island that night and the following morning, and during a drive down to Wayans Falls to see how Kathy Sullivan was holding up.

  Matthew had continued to respond well to treatment. The infection had eased and he showed no sign of brain damage or any other complications, but Kathy was exhausted and in crippling pain.

  ‘I don’t want to leave him yet,’ she told Maggie.

 
‘You must, Kathy. There’s a special home for parents of ill children right across the road from the hospital, and we can arrange for you to have a bed there. You’ve got to use it! He’s going to need you to be at your best once he’s discharged. You have to get some rest and some good food, and I’m going to prescribe you some stronger medication and something to help you sleep. Call my office and make an appointment for Tuesday or Wednesday so we can talk about strategies for getting through this, OK?’

  ‘All right. I guess you’re right. No point in me ending up in the hospital as well.’

  ‘Let me drive you home so you can get some more spare clothing.’

  She dropped Kathy off, made sure that her brother was available to drive her back to the hospital again in a couple of hours and mentioned to her that Will had changed the battery in her smoke alarm. Kathy’s tired eyes widened and she smiled.

  ‘Well, that’s so nice of him!’ she said.

  ‘He’s a good man,’ Maggie answered.

  It’s taken me this many years to realise the fact, and I still don’t know what to do about it.

  His kiss and her response went on torturing her during a dozen laps of the Go-Kart track and a game at the bowling alley in the afternoon as well. She didn’t want to enjoy Will’s company this much. She didn’t want to find herself rethinking all her old impressions of him, watching his every move, laughing aloud at the sight of his son mowing down the pins in lane 28, while wearing the second-smallest bowling shoes in the world.

  ‘He loves this. I’m not sure why,’ Will murmured to her as they watched the little boy. He was studying his shiny bowling ball intently as it rumbled sl-o-owly down the polished wooden lane and just managed to nudge down three pins.

  ‘Yay!’ Daniel threw his arms triumphantly in the air, with fingers splayed, as if he’d just won a major tournament. His cheeks were pink in his fair-skinned little face as he ran back to watch for his ball coming back to him up the chute, and his scalp showed clearly through the fine fuzz of white hair.

  ‘I don’t suppose he thinks about why,’ Maggie answered.