Body Parts

by Jessica Kapp

  My fingers curl, but I decide to sidestep his comment about Gavin, at least until I know if Cherry is trying to kill me. I relax my hands. “You think she’d do that?”

  “You’re her biggest obstacle, the one thing that stands between her and Gavin.”

  “How does she even know we’re…together?” I’m not sure if that’s the word I should use, but it feels awkward to refer to Gavin as my boyfriend in front of Kenny when I haven’t even said it to Gavin yet.

  “I didn’t want to tell you this, but I ran into Cherry a few days ago at the mall. She said she could tell there were sparks between you two, and I didn’t deny I saw the same thing.”

  Part of me is elated. It’s validation that there’s chemistry. Proof, as if I don’t know my own heart. My instincts about Cherry must have been spot on. It’s either trust Kenny, or trust Cherry. Which one is the lesser evil?

  “So, what are you suggesting?” I ask.

  “Do you have the pills she gave you?”

  I reach into my pocket and hand him the plastic tube. He takes a pill out and holds it up, examining it while we navigate the trail.

  “I don’t recognize this one. I can ask one of the guys in our lab. You could come with me to see for yourself how we analyze it.”

  My eyes grow wide.

  “No, no! The lab’s completely safe. No one will be looking for you. Besides, you’ll be with me,” he says. “We could start over. Pretend I didn’t cut your neck.” He bumps me with his shoulder like we’re chums.

  I can’t believe I’m actually considering it. But I have to know. Is Cherry trying to hurt me?

  He keeps the pill and hands the bottle back to me.

  “They won’t ask for ID or anything?”

  “I’ll scan my badge and we’ll both walk in. Everything will be fine.”

  He juts out his elbow so we can link arms as we break through the trees. Instead, I pat him on the shoulder. “All right. Let’s make it quick.”

  “Don’t worry, my car’s fast.” He winks. “Maybe we’ll bring everyone back some breakfast. What does Gavin like?”

  “He likes coffee.” I’m excited about the idea of surprising Gavin with a treat. It’s not Dairy Land, but he did say it was the one thing he indulged in. Kenny opens the passenger door and I hesitate, looking toward the barn. “I should let them know I’m heading out.”

  “Relax. I’ll go tell them.” His eyes are full of promise. He nudges me to sit, and as I do, panic washes over me.

  Kenny doesn’t get a chance to tell anyone, though.

  I hear the clang of the hatch and the rough morning voice of Gavin calling out for me. My panic dissipates.

  “Gavin.” Kenny sounds startled. “I was just coming to find you. Thought we’d grab everyone hotcakes.”

  “Then it’s a good thing I found you first.” He walks past Kenny and opens the car door. “Breakfast is ready.” Gavin’s face is blank. The only feeling I get from him is the gentle grip of his hand as he helps me out. He presses against the small of my back to lead me to the barn door. Gavin’s hospitable but not warm as he asks Kenny if he wants to join us.

  Kenny pulls out his phone and grimaces at the screen. “Maybe next time. Something important just came up.” He gives me a subtle nod as he pats the pocket the pill is in.

  “Funny. I thought you were going to get food.” Gavin flicks his hand in a wave and we head into the barn. He lifts the latch for me to go down but hooks my arm as I dip my foot. “Wait.”

  Gavin motions toward my clothes. I look at my sleeves and realize I’m still wearing Kenny’s jacket. I take it off, but by the time Gavin walks out to the drive, Kenny is gone.

  “He’ll be back.” When he turns, it’s obvious he’s forcing himself to smile, maybe to quell the uncertainty I have about what just happened. “You two are friends now?”

  Is he jealous, or is he starting to question Kenny’s intentions?

  “I wouldn’t go that far. He caught up with me this morning when I was leaving the falls. He wanted to start over with a clean slate.”

  Gavin tosses the jacket toward the stall, and we start down the hole.

  “Where was he taking you?”

  The question trips off an alarm in my brain; the way it’s worded bothers me. He didn’t want to know where we were going to get food, but rather where Kenny was taking me. Maybe Gavin’s trust for Kenny isn’t as deep as I imagined. Still, I can’t be sure, and I decide to leave out the part about retesting the medication. I don’t want Gavin to think I don’t appreciate his help or that I think he’s not capable of getting the right results. The problem is that I’m not sure he did.

  “Like he said, we were going to get everyone breakfast.”

  “Why go anywhere else when we have the best breakfast menu in town?” He grins, and I let out a small sigh of relief.

  The smell of breakfast pours down the hall, and we join the others in the main room. Although almost all the food has been picked over, there’s at least two of everything on the table—including bacon.

  “You can have mine,” Gavin says as my eyes zero in on it.

  He drops the slices on my plate with a smile that warms me all the way to my toes. I’m glad I didn’t go with Kenny. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss this.

  “Oh my God! This is so good,” Paige says to Ry, her mouth stuffed full.

  “You should try it on a sandwich,” says Ry, leaning closer. “Before lunch, maybe we could take a drive. Clear our heads?”

  Paige nods through another bite, and while they’re not high yet, I can see the anticipation in their eyes as they finish quickly and rocket from their seats.

  “Ready?” Ry asks Paige, his hand twitching as he reaches out for Craig’s keys.

  Sasha takes Mary to bathe at the falls, and everyone else disappears until it’s just Gavin and me.

  “You had another headache this morning, didn’t you?”

  “How’d you know?”

  “I can see it on your face. You still have one.”

  “It’s almost gone.” I push the last clump of eggs around on my plate. “They come every time I have a dream. Not just any dream. Ones where I’m little, younger than Mary.”

  Gavin sits up, and I’m grateful. I want to tell him and he appears eager to listen.

  “The first couple of dreams were about my mom. We were riding bikes and a man stopped his car and started to chase her.” Gavin doesn’t look surprised as I keep going. “In last night’s dream, I was at some stranger’s house.”

  “Do you remember where?”

  It’s not the question I expected him to ask, but I try my best to answer.

  I sift through the remnants of my dreams until I recall the sign. “There was a Jamison Street…”

  Gavin leans back, his face solemn.

  “Do you think they’re real?”

  “Yes. I think pieces of your past are coming back to you.”

  Hearing him say that hits me like I’ve had the wind knocked out of me. I have to force myself to breathe again. “What makes you say that?”

  “Because I know exactly where Jamison Street is.”

  Chapter 20

  After a week of headaches, Kenny comes back to the barn, just as Gavin predicted. He waltzes into the room just in time for breakfast. Only this time, I’m happy to see him.

  When Kenny heads to the coffee pot for a refill, I slide away from my seat, pretending to need more paper towels.

  I tear a sheet from the roll. “Well?” I say, my voice a whisper. He glances behind me then pulls a pill out of his pocket. There’s a thin line down the center, different from the ones Cherry got for me, more like the ones I’ve taken for years. When he presses it into my palm, I squeeze my hand tight. My head pounds as if it knows what I’m hiding: salvation.

  I head back to the table just as Gavin stands.

  “Everyone about done?” he asks, his plate empty. I shake my head and slip back into my seat, shuffling around bits of food. “Join us wh
en you’re finished. We need to go over the details for Wednesday’s mission.”

  “I’ll be quick,” I say, watching him stuff his plate in the dish tub before heading toward the middle of the room with the others. Adrian and Ry look weary and Sasha’s spike isn’t as high today. We’re still recovering from the last mission, but in two days we’re heading to the Flat House. Parker will be free.

  Parker will be here.

  When Paige and I are the only ones left at the table, I wash Kenny’s pill down.

  “Was that your heart medication?” she asks, tracing the rim of her cup.

  I nod at my eggs.

  “Really?” Paige raises an eyebrow when I meet her gaze. “Because I saw Kenny give you something…”

  My shoulders straighten and I peek back to make sure Gavin’s not listening. She leans in as I start to explain. “What Gavin got me isn’t working, so I asked Kenny for help.” I stab a clump of eggs. “What was I supposed to do? My headaches are getting worse.”

  Paige gives me an empathetic nod. The pain has been so bad it’s been almost impossible for me to hold a conversation with her or anyone lately.

  “Kenny said the pills Gavin got me didn’t look like heart medication.”

  “What are they, then?”

  “I don’t know.” I take my last bite and stand. The room doesn’t tilt and I feel a rush of relief as the pressure in my head starts to dissolve. “But whatever Kenny gave me,” I say in a whisper as we walk over to join the others, “it seems to be working.”

  • • •

  After the meeting, I head outside with Sasha and Paige; grateful I can actually engage in conversation. We sit in the field of yellowing grass. A car starts and we all look over at Kenny. He leans against the door and motions with his hand.

  “Tabitha! Come here.”

  The three of us exchange an uneasy look as I stand. Now that I’m of sound mind, my muscles tighten the closer I get to Kenny. I have to remind myself that he’s responsible for my clear head.

  I stop a body length away from him. “Thanks for the pill. My headache’s gone.”

  He gives a slow nod, pleased with himself. “Glad I could help.”

  “So…I was taking the wrong stuff?” I can’t help but glance over my shoulder, checking to see if Gavin is listening, as if I’m betraying his trust. I guess I am, sort of.

  “The ones you took weren’t strong enough, that’s all.” A wave of relief washes over me. That means Gavin wasn’t wrong and Cherry wasn’t trying to kill me. “Now that I know they work, I’ll get you more.”

  I walk backward, not sure what else to say. There’s a feeling of debt, that I owe him something. I consider whether this feeling is worse than the headache. I lift my hand in a wave. “Okay then, drive safe.”

  “Wait.” I freeze, and he reaches into his jacket pocket, pulling out a tube of medicine. I let out a breath, and he smirks. “What did you think I wanted?” I force my shoulders to relax as he shakes pills into my outstretched hand. “See you in a couple of days.”

  It’s only when his car’s out of sight that I look down. Two pills. Why two? I thought he said getting it wouldn’t be a problem? I don’t like having to depend on Kenny, and if he only gives me pills in small doses, I’ll have to see him more often.

  • • •

  Ever since Kenny stopped my headaches, I’ve had a hard time looking Gavin in the eye. We’ve become magnets, but instead of being drawn to each other, I’ve flipped. The closer he gets to me, the further I push away. I turn him down when he asks me to join him for laundry duty and try not to sit directly in front of him at meals.

  While a small part of me questions his alliance to Cherry, I’m mostly disappointed in myself. Kenny has weaseled his way off my enemy list and even made me doubt Gavin’s ability to help me. I need to sort out the chaos in my head. I turn to the only person I can trust. The only person I truly know. Paige.

  After a lot of begging, Gavin agrees to drop us off for ice cream while he runs an errand.

  “This one’s never busy,” he says when we pull into the Dairy Land furthest from the city center. There are only three cars in the parking lot, but he stares at every license plate as if he’s memorizing each letter and number.

  Paige practically pushes me out of the truck and into the building, eager to get to the counter. Gavin doesn’t drive away until we have our ice cream in hand and are safely seated at a table outdoors. We’re the only customers eating on the patio, but I feel like there are eyes watching us from the neighboring woods.

  Paige snaps her fingers. “Hello? Did you hear me?”

  “Sorry, Paige. What’d you say?”

  She shields her eyes from the sun and takes another bite. Her eyelids flutter in ecstasy. “I said I think he’s nervous.”

  “About the mission?”

  “No.” She waits for me to take another bite. “About Parker.”

  A wave of uneasiness hits me. “That can’t be it. I told him he had nothing to worry about.”

  Paige tilts her head back and talks to me with her eyes closed, soaking in the sun. “Sorry we told Kenny. He caught us at a bad time, you know? He kept asking questions and giving us pills to try.”

  The thought of Kenny using drugs to get them to talk makes the ice cream in my stomach curdle. “What kinds of questions?”

  “About you mostly.” As Paige says this, she brings her chin down, eye level with me. “Come to think of it, that’s all he asked about.”

  An icy chill runs through me. Why would Kenny be focused on me? What do I have that he wants? I take another lick, but my stomach is twisting so hard I can’t eat it. I toss it in the garbage and Paige shakes her head.

  “Well that was a waste,” she says with a smile. “I would’ve eaten it, you know.”

  I play with my napkin. “Paige, don’t tell Gavin, but I think I made a big mistake.”

  “Did you fool around with Kenny?” Her eyes are wide. Paige has always enjoyed gossip, what little there was at the Center always made it to her ears.

  “Are you trying to make me throw up?”

  “What’s the mistake then?”

  Paige won’t judge me, but I hate admitting it out loud. “I trusted Kenny.”

  “Is this about the pills he gave you?”

  I nod. “It’s stupid, I know, but he doesn’t seem to be helping us just to save lives. It’s like he wants something. Control, maybe?” I want to ask Gavin what he thinks, but then I’d have to admit I questioned the pills he went out of his way to get me.

  Paige tenses and angles her head.

  “Are you all right?”

  She brings a spoonful to her mouth and a bit of ice cream drops on her shirt. She grabs a napkin to wipe it, but not before pointing behind me.

  In the window, standing in line at the counter, is Kenny. He gives us a quick wave. There’s not a trace of shock on his face. Of all the places, of all the people, Kenny is at Dairy Land.

  My blood runs cold. Is this a coincidence? Or did he know we’d be here?

  “Now’s your chance to ask him if he’s up to no good,” Paige says, taking a big bite of ice cream.

  Despite her joke, I want to confront him. Not here, though. Not in public. And not until we get Parker out. I need to play this cool. Keep my enemy close. But what if he doesn’t plan to get Parker out at all? A trickle of sweat rolls down my back.

  “Pretend you’re excited to see him,” I say as he heads our way.

  A bell chimes when he opens the door to the patio. “What a surprise, ladies. Mind if I join you?”

  He sits without waiting for approval, wearing swim trunks and a sleeveless white T-shirt. His skin has darkened a couple of shades and I swear his eyes are bluer. Probably some pill he took to look approachable and alluring. I want to kick myself for trusting him, but I grin like he’s as delightful as ice cream.

  “You’re not getting anything?” he asks me.

  “I just finished. In fact, we were about to leav
e. It was nice to see you though.” I stand and Paige furiously scrapes the bottom of her plastic bowl, shoveling the last bite in her mouth.

  “Would you like another one?” Kenny takes out his wallet.

  “No, we have to go,” Paige says, popping up.

  “Are you walking back to the barn?” Kenny’s eyes flicker mischievously like he knows we’re trapped.

  Just then, the truck pulls into the parking lot and Gavin gives the horn a quick blast. My heart lifts. “Here’s our ride.”

  Gavin parks at an angle, taking up two spots. He jogs over to the fence that surrounds the eating space and hops over, his feet slapping the concrete next to me when he lands.

  “Fancy seeing you here,” Gavin says with deadpan delivery. His hand finds the back of my chair.

  “Just keeping the girls company.” Kenny pulls down his glasses and glares into the sun. “It’s a hot day. Looks like we all had the same idea. Maybe we should make this our new meeting place.”

  “Maybe.” Gavin looks at me, and some of the tension between us melts away. “Are you guys ready to go?” He continues to hold my gaze.

  The magnet in me flips over and I slip my hand into his. I forgot how much I like the way his fingers feel woven through mine. I don’t want to let go again.

  “We’ll see you tomorrow then,” Gavin says to Kenny.

  “Later.”

  Paige and I climb in the truck and share a look of relief. “Good timing,” she says, taking a seat behind me.

  “Was it?” Gavin starts the engine and tears out of the parking lot. Once we’re on the road, his arm muscles relax. He flicks on the radio and finds a station that has music Paige and I have heard before. The songs are old, from singers Gavin says are dead. He calls the music folk, but he taps the steering wheel as if he’s enjoying himself.

  Paige belts out all the words. Her voice is better than the singer’s. The same can’t be said about me, so while she sings, I pick up the manila envelope that sits precariously on the lip of the dashboard. Gavin reaches over, pinching it closed when I start to open it.

  “Don’t,” he says loud enough to make Paige falter. She starts singing again on the next verse. “It’s for my dad.” Gavin’s voice is calm but his jaw looks as hard as steel.