by Jani Kay
“Lexi,” I yelled, losing my shit when she just stood there like a fucking zombie. I lurched forward to grab her, shaking her by the shoulders. “Where is Ryder? What the fuck happened?”
She doubled over and threw up all over her shoes, then collapsed onto the bed, sobbing as if somebody had died.
Oh my fucking God.
“Lexi. Jesus, talk to me. Did something happen to Ryder?”
Lexi stared at me, her lips trembling violently and her whole face screwed up in pain. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.
The long, cold fingers of dread gripped my insides and squeezed until I was about to pass out. Something grave and ghastly must’ve happened and there I stood, powerless and terrified, my breath coming in short sharp pants as I tried to keep breathing while a million scenarios played through my mind, all of them involving Ryder and a lot of fucking blood.
I should have listened to my instincts. I should have refused to come to the godforsaken damn club. The place was fucking cursed.
“There’s been a shooting.”
“Oh God, no! Ryder—”
Lexi shook her head from side to side. Her eyes were wild. “No, not Ryder. Cobra, Mia, and the kids. Outside the gates. There’s blood everywhere, said Logan. I’m not sure if Mia and the kids are okay, but Cobra’s been shot in the head.”
Relief flooded my insides that it wasn’t Ryder, yet my mouth went dry and my pulse quickened as horror filled me. How could this be happening? Didn’t we come here to be safer?
Lexi’s eyes were wide and her body trembled. “But Ryder . . . he went outside to help them. I’m so scared. What if Ryder can’t stop the shooter?”
My hand flew to my mouth. “What? Why would Ryder do such a crazy thing?” My knees went weak, and I flopped down onto the bed next to Lexi. Knowingly walking into danger was insane. “Oh God, what if he gets shot, too?” A mixture of fear and panic swept through me. “I’ve got to stop him.” I rubbed my stomach as a bitter taste rose to my mouth and I fought the urge to vomit. “I can’t deal with losing Ryder. The babies need him. Fuck, I need him.”
As I moved to get up from the bed again, Lexi bolted upright and grabbed my wrist. “No, wait. Ryder said for me to keep you here. In the room. We’ve got to hide.” The fright in her voice and in her eyes was so overwhelming I wanted to throw up. But I had to push through. This wasn’t the time to be weak.
I have to know if Ryder is safe.
I jerked my arm away out of Lexi’s grip. “Like hell am I staying here and not knowing what’s happening.” Pushing my own fear aside, I reached for my phone and hastily scrolled through my contacts list. “I’m calling Harrison. He’ll know what to do and send his team to help us.”
“Ryder told Hammer to call Harrison. I’m sure he’s already on his way.”
“Well I’ll call too, just in case Hammer couldn’t get through.” The call went straight to voicemail. I grimaced as I scrolled again, looking for Savage’s number, and hit the green button. Within three rings, Savage’s deep voice came down the line. I nearly cried with relief.
“Jade, are you okay? Harrison just spoke to a dude from the Scorpio Stingers. We’re worried about you.”
“Savage, I’m not sure what’s happened, but I’m scared,” I choked out.
“We’re on our way. Stay away from the windows. One of us will come and find you when it’s safe. You alone?”
“No, I have Lexi here with me. Please hurry.” I couldn’t keep the panic from making my insides churn. My voice hitched. “Ryder is in danger, and I think Cobra got shot and maybe even Mia and the kids. I’m not sure.”
“Stay safe until we get there, Jade,” Savage commanded in a stern voice.
“We will.”
As soon as I hung up, I made my way to the door. My heart pounded in my ears and my head was spinning, but I didn’t let that stop me.
“Where are you going?” Lexi asked in a high-pitched voice.
“I’m going to see where Ryder is. I’ll go crazy if I have to sit here and wait.”
“Jade, you can’t. Didn’t you hear what Savage said? We’ve got to stay here. That’s what Ryder told me, too.”
“Screw that. If Ryder gets hurt, or even worse, killed . . . oh God, I don’t even want to think about it.” I held my fingertips to my quivering lips to still them. “This is life and death stuff, Lexi. And like hell am I sitting here biting my nails and feeling sick while shit is going down.”
“Um . . . you have two very good reasons to stay safe. Both Harrison and Ryder will be mad as hell if something happens to you or the babies. You’ve got to listen, Jade.” Her eyes pleaded. “You’ve got to stay here with me.”
I considered her words for all of five seconds. She had a valid point, but not knowing was so much worse. Ryder would stop at nothing to save his best friend and brother, even risking his own life. But things were different now. It wasn’t just about his biker family anymore, and I couldn’t help wondering if Ryder would think of that.
The thought of coming second to the club riled me. I wasn’t jealous of another woman because I knew Ryder only had eyes for me, yet his allegiance to the club, to Cobra, and to his brothers, ran far deeper than what even I understood.
“Lexi, I’m going to take my chances. Maybe Ryder will need me, and I want to be there when he does. Wait here till Harrison or Savage comes for you, okay?”
With legs that felt as if concrete had been poured into them and a heart as heavy as stone, I made my way to the club room. At least one of the other boys would be able to fill me in on the situation.
My throat burned, and tears welled up behind my eyelids. I simply didn’t want a life without Ryder.
8 — Ryder
Cobra’s limp body sat like a crash dummy squeezed between an airbag and the seat that was covered in blotches of red, blood dripping down the black leather. Mia was in the same position, but except for the blood that had splattered onto her—Cobra’s blood—I couldn’t detect if she was bleeding, too. A low moan escaped her lips. At least she was still alive.
My gaze flew to the back seat, following the cries of terror and agony. Both kids were still strapped into their safety chairs. The fear and anguish on their little faces speared my heart.
“It’s okay, kiddos, everything is going to be okay,” I said, my voice cracking. As if they could detect the lie, their cries became even louder and more distraught. As hard as it was to just leave them there, I had to focus my attention on their father.
The crunch of glass under my boots sounded eerie as I leaned over Cobra to check if he was still breathing. Every muscle in my body tensed, and my chest was so tight that it was difficult to get air into my lungs. “Fuck. Cobra. Breathe, you fucker. You can’t die on me now.”
Blood poured from the wound in his head, and his eyes stayed shut. He didn’t move, not even a slight rise in his chest to tell me that he was indeed breathing. I placed two fingers on his jugular to check his pulse, and panic rose to my throat as any sign of life evaded me.
Cobra can’t be dead. He just can’t. It isn’t an option.
I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him until he responded, but I knew better than that. By the number of entry wounds I could tell that he’d been shot several times, and I had no idea how much damage had been caused to his internal organs.
All I saw was the look of death. The reaper was waiting, calling my brother to the other side.
But I wouldn’t let the grim man of death win. He could just fuck off. I’d learned CPR since Ratbag died and I was sure as hell going to put it to practice to save Cobra. I’d breath for him if he couldn’t, I’d pump life back into his heart. I’d help him live. There was no way in heaven or hell I was letting him go to the dark side without a fight.
Mia stirred in the passenger seat. Her eyes opened slowly and fixed on her husband. “Cobra,” she winced, trying to reach for her man but not being able to move while sandwiched into her seat by airbags. “Is he�
��” The high pitch of her voice was broken with a sob.
“Mia, hang in there. Help is on the way.” It was all I could do to placate her. I couldn’t lie to her about Cobra’s condition because Mia deserved better than that.
Just as I got myself ready to start giving Cobra mouth-to-mouth, a fucking bullet flew within inches from my face and over my head, and slammed into the roof of the vehicle. Whoever had done this was still out there and trying to prevent me from helping my brother. My heart pumped pure dread through my veins. Unadulterated fear sent tremors through my body and my knees shook.
Is today the day I die?
The day we ALL die?
Fuck, no. I wasn’t ready for death. I’d far too much living to do. I wanted to witness the birth of my babies, and I wanted a life with Jade— to be a father and a husband.
Another deafening shot rang out. Looking over to the back, I registered that both Jaime and Isabella’s mouths were wide open and I was sure they were screaming but I couldn’t hear a fucking thing. Strapped into their seats, they wriggled and fought against the restraints to no avail, desperation to escape clear on their little faces.
NO!
Death is not on the agenda today.
I turned my head to check on Mia. Her eyes widened, and she stared at me in horror with her mouth gaping as if trying to say something but failing. It was only when her gaze rested on my shoulder and I became aware of an intense, burning pain that I looked to the left and saw blood pouring down my arm.
“Fuck,” I yelled, shaking as more fear and terror filled my mind and heart. All the oxygen sucked out of my lungs and I could hardly breathe as I crouched down beside the vehicle while trying to figure out where the shooters were hiding.
We were sitting ducks with nowhere to hide. Thousands of images flashed through my mind. Images of me as a child; images of Marianne and Maxwell smiling at me; images of making love to Jade; images that reminded me of a life to be grateful for. A life that could be over before I knew it.
“Ryder,” Mia screamed hysterically. “Oh my God, they’re going to kill us all. My babies, Cobra. Oh God, please no.”
“Mia, try to slide down in the seat,” I commanded, even though it was futile. If at least Mia and her kids got out of this alive I’d be okay with the outcome.
“I can’t,” she groaned. “I’m stuck.” Her eyes were wild with panic.
Not that I wanted to die. Nor did I want to say goodbye to Cobra. But sometimes things were inevitable. Sometimes they were beyond my control, and there was simply nothing I could do to stop what happened.
Like now.
My mind was spinning. We weren’t prepared for our enemies to hit so soon. But I guess that was exactly what they wanted—the element of surprise worked every time. Hell, I should’ve known. It was a tactic we’d used many times over the years.
Before I could even think of what to do next, the sound of sirens approaching cut through the air, drowning out the sounds of the crying children.
Mia exhaled sharply. A flash of hope crossed her face.
“See? I wasn’t lying. Help is on the way.” The tremor in my voice sounded strange to my ears. I tried to smile, but failed.
Being this close to death triggered something inside me I’d never forget. How fragile we humans were. How we lacked gratitude for every day we were granted on this earth, every breath we took.
Within minutes, Cobra’s vehicle was surrounded by cop cars and a heavily armed SWAT team, pointing firearms in every direction, their backs to one another as they formed a circle around us.
Truth be told, I’d never been as happy to see Summers and his gang as I was then. If I believed in angels—and sometimes I did—I’d thank them for saving my ass.
“What direction did the shooting come from?” Savage asked the moment he saw my gunshot wound.
I spun around and pointed to the empty house across the road. “I think from there. It came from behind me. I have no idea how many people are in there. Only two shots were fired, and each of them singly.”
“Make way for the medics. I’ve brought someone to help Malone,” Summers ordered. Both Savage and I stepped to the side to let two men carrying a black bag and a stretcher get closer to Cobra. Thank fuck he’d thought of that and they could attend to him immediately.
If he was still alive.
I shot Summers a nod of gratitude and he simply lifted his chin in acknowledgement. In that instant we made some kind of connection. Finally.
The crunching of glass on gravel as they got closer gave me the cold shivers. It reminded me that bullets had shattered the glass and were now lodged somewhere in Cobra’s body.
Summers ran to the passenger side and opened the door to get to Mia. “I’m going to deflate the airbag and get you out of here as soon as possible. Just sit still, okay?”
“The children—get the children out first, please Harrison,” Mia pleaded.
“No, I need to get you out first so you can help me calm the kids down.”
Another shot rang out, scraping past my ear. If I hadn’t just moved a few steps away that bullet would most likely have been inside my skull. My eardrums were about to burst and my head pounded with pain.
“Jesus, those fuckers aren’t giving up,” Savage yelled while pointing to the house across the road from the club. “Get the team in there. Bring the gunmen down.”
Six men ran across the road in single file, their guns ready to fire. I turned my attention back to Summers. “Is an ambulance coming?” I asked as the medics took out their equipment to attend to Cobra. “He needs to get to a hospital, and fast.”
“Yeah, they should be here at any time. But it could be too late for Cobra.”
“No!” Mia’s face contorted in pain. “No, no, no.”
I glared at Summers. Was the man an idiot? He wasn’t a fucking doctor, so how could he know.
He gave me an apologetic shrug. Just like that I was mad at him again.
The medic put his ear close to Cobra’s mouth. “I’m not getting any sign of breathing. I think he’s gone.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I warned, fisting my hands by my sides. “You don’t know what you’re saying. Cobra’s a fighter, he won’t be fucking offed this way.”
Savage put his arm across my back. “Hey Ryder, I’m really sorry, but we gotta face the facts, man.”
I shrugged him off and took a step closer to Cobra. My gut instinct told me that he was still hanging in there, even if it was on the thinnest of thin threads. “You do whatever you need to keep this man alive if you don’t want me in your nightmares,” I barked to the young man closest to me.
“We’re doing our best,” he said. “He’s lost a lot of blood.”
Savage had helped Mia out of the vehicle and he was holding on to the open door, puking his guts out. Both Jade and Eva had told me that he couldn’t handle the sight of blood. It was the most bizarre thing I’d ever heard for a man in his profession.
Just then the screaming sirens of the ambulance filled the air. I was still half-deaf from the sound of the last bullet that was fired but I’d never been happier to hear that sound.
9 — Jade
It was close to midnight. Ryder had just returned from the hospital with his arm in a sling and snuck into our room quietly so as not to disturb me, but I woke from a fitful sleep the moment he turned the door handle and stepped inside. The squeaky door that had irritated me all day had become my ally.
I’d cried myself to sleep after Harrison had come into the compound to find me. He told me the full story of what had happened to everyone and that Ryder needed medical attention. He scolded me for not listening and staying in my room with Lexi and then hugged me to his chest and soothed my fears away.
Of course I’d freaked out even though my brother had tried to calm me. I cried on his shoulder for at least half an hour before I settled down.
Before Ryder even reached the bed, I bolted upright and turned on the light on the nightstand. I leapt
out of bed and in spite of my worries and anger and anguish, I rushed to greet him.
I clung to him as if I’d never let him go, kissing his face and neck, smothering him with love while tears of joy and relief streamed down my cheeks.
I didn’t think I’d ever been as happy to see him.
“Oh my God, you scared me. I was worried sick that you’d be shot too. And you were. You could’ve been dead. You can never do something like that again. Promise me?” I breathed.
All the time I was pouring out my guts, Ryder had his one arm around me, pulling me tight to his chest, his face buried in my neck. A deep guttural moan escaped his lips before he uttered my name as he kissed my jaw and then shut me up with an all-consuming and breathtaking kiss.
For a long moment the world stopped spinning and it was just the two of us, desperate to feel and touch and consume one another now that we were together again.
This man could rob me of my senses and make me forget everything I wanted to say with just one passionate kiss. But he had to hear my rant. He wasn’t going to still the hours of insecurity and vulnerability with a kiss, no matter how badly I wanted it to last forever.
No, I had to have this talk with him, get the words out that burned inside me like a raging furnace.
I let go of him and before he could stop me, I’d pulled away and taken a step back. I stood with my hands on my hips, facing Ryder. He tilted his head and stared at me, as if he didn’t understand what was going on.
The words that had been going around and around and around in my head for hours poured out of me like an unstoppable avalanche.
“You can’t try to be a hero now that you’re going to be a father. You just can’t. The babies, they need you . . . we need you.” I poked a finger into his chest. “Fuck Ryder, I need you. Don’t you get it?” I said in a shaky voice. “I can’t do this thing called life without you. I just can’t.”
His jaw tightened. Maybe he was so pale from the loss of blood. A part of me wanted to just hold him again and stroke his brow and tell him everything was fine.