by Jani Kay
Irreversible.
Julian and I—fucked up forever.
He wanted to start over. He loved me. I knew that. Because I had always loved him too.
But what about his promises to Melanie?
In sickness and in health.
I couldn’t live with myself if I allowed him to leave her and she died because of heartbreak. Not with the cancer. I also knew that Melanie loved Julian; her love would keep them going to the end.
Her end.
My heart squeezed. I rubbed at the pain. Even after all this time, it hurt like hell.
Although I had humiliated him, turned him down and sent him away, I knew Julian would honor his promises to me. And I didn’t hate Melanie in spite of her ruining my dreams.
Dreams of being with Julian.
Julian. I was glad that I’d stopped him and sent him away. I didn’t want more guilt messing with my heart and my mind. I’d found an inner strength I’d never had before.
I’d moved hotels. Using the excuse that I wanted to be closer to the university so I could do research in the evenings, I had convinced Maxwell’s secretary to find a room in a smaller and homelier hotel for me. Cheaper rates too. It didn’t have the spectacular views of the grand suite I had been staying in till now, yet I was more at ease in my new surroundings. It was within walking distance to cafes and bars frequented by students and I’d hoped I could make a few new friends, too.
But mainly I’d moved because I wanted to disappear. I didn’t want Alain to find me. I’d been screwed over again. My heart was bleeding, my soul crushed. I needed time to lick my wounds and heal.
I would bounce back. Eventually. I always did. It just became harder with every setback. But I’d get through this and come out the other side stronger.
And as always, I would focus on my career. At least it was one constant in my life. Something I loved and that rewarded me handsomely.
Thank God.
Rebecca Clarke did not give up on life, nor her dreams.
Back to tossing and turning in my bed at night, dreams of Alain and Julian twisted my mind so that I woke up frazzled in the mornings. I needed another break; I couldn’t keep up with the men in my life.
They all wanted to fuck me. I got that.
Yet nothing was forever.
How did I get into these fucking complicated relationships? Would there ever be a happily-ever-after for me?
Fortunately, the workshops finished next week. I dragged myself down to the hotel’s breakfast room. Although I had no appetite, I had to get something into my body. My once tight skirts were hanging loose on my frame.
I stared out over the river. It was a beautiful Saturday morning. I was exploring Paris by myself. My heart ached when I thought of Alain, my sexy tour guide. He’d shown me most of Paris, yet I hadn’t been to the Louvre.
It was time I paid it a visit.
Chapter 52 - Alain
I was desperate. Rebecca had booked out of the hotel she’d been staying at. My secretary had rung every hotel, every pension in Paris in search of Rebecca. So far my search had been futile.
How would I find her, explain what happened? I had to convince her that what she saw was not as it seemed.
Damn Adrienne and her family. In a rage, I’d sent her and her father to hell. One way. I didn’t want to do business with them. I didn’t want to partner with them in any deal, no matter how lucrative.
I’d run out of ideas on how to find Rebecca. Other than to ring Grant personally. That was the last fucking thing I wanted to do. I didn’t want to give Grant the fucking pleasure, so I resolved to give it one last shot the coming weekend. If nothing else worked, well, I’d have to call the arrogant fucker. I’d already tried to contact some of Rebecca’s co-workers. They had refused to help me out.
Had she instructed them not to?
My plan for the day had been to go to the Louvre. Last weekend, I’d had Gaston drive around all the touristy spots in Paris, hoping to find her amongst the crowds. Like every day before it was useless. Frustrating. Unrewarding.
It was turning into a nightmare.
Rebecca was stubborn. A true fiery redhead. My cock yearned for her whenever I thought of running my fingers through her luscious mane. And my fucking heart? It was shattered.
Fuck. Would I ever win her back?
I could kick myself for not telling her how I felt about her. My fear of losing her far outweighed my pride. I should have told her how much she meant to me. How much I wanted her in my life.
Yes, how much I loved her.
Panic gripped my heart. It was as if the oxygen was being sucked from my lungs.
What if she’d changed her phone number? If only she’d take my goddamn calls. Her message bank was full. I ran a hand through my hair. Fuck if I’d give up that easily.
Once I had my heart and mind set on something, I’d fight to the end to get it.
I want Rebecca. My Cherie.
Gaston circled the Louvre for the fifth time. I sighed in despair. This fucking plan wasn’t working. Mon Dieu. I took another swig from the cognac bottle. It was early for a drink, but I needed a stiff one. Paris was stifling hot, and I was equally hot in my seething desperation to find her.
Gaston laughed out loud. “Look, monsieur, look.”
My gaze followed to where he pointed. What could make Gaston laugh? Did he have sunstroke? There was nothing funny about this goddamn situation. Then I saw a redhead alight from the open-top tourist bus. My heart tore through my chest. It was Rebecca.
Fuck. She was even more beautiful than I’d remembered. Her hair, caught in a ponytail in an attempt to keep cool, made her look younger and more vulnerable.
Exposed by the ridiculous denim shorts she wore, her long legs were sexy as hell. I swallowed hard. The skin on her shoulders glistened in the sun and her breasts bounced slightly as she made her way to the queue. Hard just by the sight of her, I adjusted my cock and smiled.
But, talking to her wasn’t going to be easy. I’d have to surprise her, preferably in a place where she couldn’t run away. I knew exactly where she was headed.
Chapter 53
I took a sip from my water bottle. Damn, it was hot. Standing in the long queues made me appreciate how Alain had just whizzed us past the red tape before. I’d just have to get it the same way every other tourist did. I missed him. I wished he were there to share his knowledge of the Louvre with me.
I was there to see three things. First up, the glass pyramid, a famous icon of Paris, which I glimpsed from the top deck of the bus. The other two were inside, so I paid for a ticket and made my way in.
Signposts marked the way to the Mona Lisa, so I followed the crowds through the halls. Hundreds of people thronged around me to see the small heavily framed picture which was protected by thick glass. The painting was so much smaller than I expected, it was a bit of a disappointment and not nearly as grand as I’d always imagined it to be.
Leisurely roaming around the cavernous rooms, glancing at rows and rows of artworks on the walls, I made my way to the Venus de Milo, the goddess shrouded in mystery whose arms had never been found. Intrigued, I wanted to see her. I admired her sensual feminine curves which were only half covered by a draping cloth around her hips.
I walked into the large, cool space and switched on the little camera Alain had given me, a pang going through my heart as I took a picture of the beautiful statue. In a heavy French accent, a recognizable man’s voice floated to me.
“Can I offer to take your picture next to the statue, mademoiselle?”
Pivoting on my heels, I crashed into a familiar hard chest. Alain grabbed hold of my shoulders, as if he was afraid I would bolt. His eyes were serious, only a slight upward curve of his lips showed that he was pleased to see me.
“Mademoiselle, could I have a word, s'il vous plait?” To strangers around us, it would seem as if we hardly knew one another. Yet his palms were damp and his eyes were pleading, a small vein in his temples ticking.
My mouth fell open. I’d never expected this. How on earth did he find me?
His hands burned into my flesh. I was standing as if I was made of stone. The irony was not lost on me. My gaze quickly took in his dark hair falling over his brow and I noticed that he’d lost weight since I last saw him.
Captured, I let him steer me toward a bench.
“Sit,” he commanded. My knees were trembling, I was grateful to sit down.
“Rebecca, I need to explain what happened.” He glanced around, the room was overcrowded and noisy. “Let’s go somewhere quieter?”
I couldn’t go anywhere where we’d be alone. I didn’t trust him, or myself.
“Coffee...cafeteria...” I stuttered.
Alain steered me toward the closest cafeteria, silence hanging heavily between us. I was grateful for the masses of people surrounding us, masking my apprehension.
He ordered two coffees while I sat down at the corner table, my legs still shaking. He took a seat across from me.
“So beautiful,” he murmured, brushing away an errant strand of hair from my cheeks.
His touch had a strong effect on me. It sent a shiver down my spine straight to my core. Oh, my god. Angry with myself that he still had the power to liquefy my insides, I stared into my coffee, hiding my eyes from him. He can’t know.
He reached out and cupped my chin, lifting my face and looking me squarely in the eyes.
“Don’t hide from me, Cher...Rebecca.”
I studied his beautiful face for a few seconds. His face was open, but I could see traces of worry around his mouth.
“Since you left, I can’t eat. I can hardly fucking breathe.” He stated it as a fact, not an accusation. “What you saw...it was indiscreet...I’m sorry if it hurt you...” He cleared his throat.
“Indiscreet? Hurt me? Are you fucking kidding me?” Heat rose to my cheeks as I remembered what I had seen that morning.
“Give me a chance to explain. Please. Just listen.” His voice was terse. “Adrienne came to my house that morning to seduce me. Yes, we’d been lovers. But, that was for a very brief period and it ended over a year ago. Long before I met you.”
“You really expect me to believe that? After what I saw?” I gazed into his eyes. I would find the truth there.
“Yes.” His simple statement seemed genuine.
“Why did it end? She’s very beautiful,” I whispered, the memory of her lithe and ripe naked body against his taunting me.
“I grew tired of her quickly. She’s superficial. Money, power and sex. That’s all she wants.”
A flicker of contempt passed over his eyes.
“Why wouldn’t you grow tired of me too?” The wall around my heart wasn’t crumbling easily.
“I could never tire of you. You are different.” He took my hand and pressed it to his lips—like he had done a hundred times before. And as always, it sent a delicious tingle down my spine.
“Adrienne won’t give up. She still pursues me, believing that she is destined to be the new mistress of the chateau.”
“So what happened that morning? Tell me.” I was finally ready to hear more.
Alain continued: “She came that morning to plead with me to take her back, to be lovers again. She promised a lot of money if I were to marry her. But I told her I had no interest in her, that I only had eyes for you. She became...angry. Next thing, she ripped off her trench coat to reveal her nakedness. She was hoping to seduce me with her flesh. But, I told her it was over for good, that I could never love her.”
“That’s when I walked in—”
“Yes. That’s when you saw the spectacle I was hoping to save you from. Gaston came minutes later. I’d already summoned him to take her away.”
“Oh, Alain...” Tears welled up behind my eyelids, my throat burning as I tried to control them.
“I’m so sorry, Cherie, you should never have been exposed to that. Please forgive me?”
“It’s me who should ask your forgiveness...not trusting you...” Warm tears were rolling freely down my cheeks.
“Please, don’t cry.” He wiped my tears with the pads of his thumbs.
To his surprise I started laughing, through my tears. “What...a...fool...I...was...” Relief flowed though me. Alain wasn’t fucking Adrienne.
“Come back to the chateau with me. We’ll catch up on lost time.” He wiggled his eyebrows, his lips curved into a smile.
“I can’t come this week.” The disappointment on his face pulled at my heartstrings. “My workshops finish next week. I’ll come then.”
As much as I was elated by discovering the truth behind that awful day, I needed time to digest it all. If I was going back to being lovers with Alain, I wanted to be sure it was because I was ready to do so.
Without any pressure.
Chapter 54
A little saddened that it was the last day of workshops in Paris, I couldn’t believe how fast the first few weeks of my contract had gone. I had really enjoyed working with the group, and a night of celebrating was in order.
It was time to move on to the next destination. Munich, Germany. How would it affect my relationship with Alain? I wouldn’t be far away, but it was in another country. And, I’d have to adjust to a new culture again. If things worked out between us, Alain would have to understand that I’d be away for a week at a time. Getting back to him would be wonderful, of course. I could just imagine the mind-blowing sex we’d have.
Back at my hotel room, I changed from my business suit into something more appropriate for an evening out. I dug up my little black designer dress I’d packed especially for occasions like these, where I wasn’t quite sure what to wear.
It was a good choice, smart and just a little sexy but not over the top. Hugging my body in just the right places, with wide straps over my shoulders that added just the right amount of elegance, I felt confident that I looked good. I was ready for a night out and to have fun with my friends in Paris.
We met up at a popular bar before dinner. I virtually threw back my first Cosmopolitan and ordered another. It was great to just hang out and not worry about anything. We laughed and chatted around the bar. It wasn’t long before the topic of conversation came around to our mighty CEO.
“He’s an awesome chess player,” said Jean-Paul. “Apparently, he won a championship when he was at university.”
Really? I had geeky tendencies, but I couldn’t see Maxwell Grant as a geek.
“Oui, he’s also raised millions of dollars running across the USA to raise awareness for epilepsy when he was in his final year. His mother suffered from the disease and he took it really hard. Took him six months to achieve that mean feat.”
“Wow, I didn’t know...” I said, genuinely intrigued by the adoration in Jean-Paul’s voice for his boss.
“I can top that. Did you know he won several awards for designing low-cost housing to help young families?” chirped Celeste, a gorgeous leggy blonde.
“OK, now you’re making him sound like a saint.” I laughed as I took a sip of my Cosmo.
“Well, here’s the thing, if Time magazine hadn’t highlighted it in several articles, we wouldn’t even know about it. Mr. Grant never brags about any of it. He is a very humble man,” said Jean-Paul.
Humble wasn’t a word that sprang to my mind when I thought of Maxwell Grant.
And, I was curious as all hell about his wife. Since they all seemed to know so much about Maxwell’s private life, I figured it was time to dig a little deeper.
“Oh, Natasha...she’s absolutely gorgeous, isn’t she? Wish she was my wife. But, the strange thing is that Maxwell very seldom brings her to work functions, and I’ve been to a lot over the years. If she were my wife, I wouldn’t let her out of my sight,” young Tommy said with a grin.
“That’s because she’s a super model, knucklehead,” Celeste reminded him. “She’s too busy.”
“I heard it was a marriage of convenience,” Jean-Paul piped up as he ordered a round o
f shots.
“Don’t be ridiculous, buddy. A babe like Natasha could have her pick of men...” countered Tommy. He clearly fancied Mrs. Grant.
“...and Mr. Grant is so hot, he could have any babe he wants. I know I wouldn’t say no to him, married or not,” Celeste chuckled.
“Celeste.” Both guys gaped at her, their mouths hanging open. “Well do you agree, Rebecca?” All eyes were on me. I felt the warmth spread upward from my chest.
I was cornered.
“Agree to what?” I heard a booming voice behind me.
No, it couldn’t be. Speak of the fucking devil.
Luckily I didn’t have to answer. Everyone was falling over Maxwell—happy to see him. It would’ve been nice if someone had warned me that he would be here tonight. Arms crossed over my chest, I watched the backslapping spectacle with amusement.
“We have Dr. Clarke to thank for the workshops. Remember, I told you she was very talented?” He slowly turned to me, acknowledging my presence.
“We aim to please, Mr. Grant. I’m glad they liked it.” I was still peeved by his turning up out of nowhere and ruining my evening out.
“Can I get you another drink?” he offered.
I picked up my purse, thankful we were due at the restaurant in five minutes. “No thanks, we were just on our way to the Bistro across the road.”
“Mind if I join you?” He smiled down at me. I couldn’t really refuse, after all, the evening would be billed to his company.
“I'm not sure there is space, we only have reservations for eleven people...”
I wish he would go away.
“I'm hurt, Dr. Clarke, that you don’t want me there.” My head jerked up and I looked into mocking eyes.
“How is Mrs. Grant?” I asked coolly.
“Fine...she’s on an assignment in Africa.”
“Cool,” said Tommy, “wish I could go to Africa...”
“You’d get eaten by lions,” Celeste joked as she batted her eyes at Maxwell.
Celeste was gorgeous. And tall. And skinny. And blonde, like his wife. She was exactly his type. Exactly the opposite of me.