“I hope he’s okay.” It’s a moment of weakness, and it comes out in a whisper.
“I’m serious, Harper. He didn’t even think twice about punching that guy’s lights out to defend you. This could end his career, and Cain hadn’t thought twice. That is love. Before you, all he cared about was football. I wouldn’t say this just to pull your leg … he really has changed.”
I cleared my throat, not wanting to dig into my emotions any further. “You know, maybe you aren’t all that bad.”
She shrugs. “I mean, I think we’re going to have to get used to each other. Those two lovebirds won’t stop making mistletoe eyes at each other.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, but they’re happy. Maybe we’ll get lucky enough one day to be as happy as them.”
Annabelle looks at me, smiling a conspiratorial grin. “Maybe we will. In any case, I think you have an opportunity to be that happy right now.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Cain
I spend Christmas in the hospital, in and out of the drug haze they’d supplied me with after having surgery on my broken finger.
Luckily, I wasn’t alone. Dad has come home to see me through the procedure and recovery, and even though he is still pissed that I played through it during the state championship game, I was so happy to have him in Haven for the holiday.
On the television was A Wonderful Life, and Dad and I were eating chicken fried steak that he’d gotten in takeout containers from the local diner.
“I forgot how much I missed this place.” Dad smiles at me as he finishes up his dinner, placing it on the rolling cart near my hospital bed.
“The hospital?” I chuckle.
Dad rolls his eyes at me. “No, you goof. Haven, I missed Haven. And I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” It was Christmas, and I was on drugs. I was allowed to be corny.
“Did you know that Gramps elected himself the mayor of Sons of America?” Dad laughs.
I crack up. “Yes. He makes the rounds in his wheelchair, waving like he’s the king in his carriage or something. Tries to settle disputes, like if the air conditioner is too high or low, and which nineteen fifties musical they should screen at movie night.”
“He is in his glory, there. Misses Mom, though.” Dad sighs. “I think we all do.”
“She’s still up there, scowling down at us about the choices she deems bad,” I joke with him.
But really, it’s not a joke. I know that woman is up there, giving me a death glare about what happened between Harper and I. Stupidly, I thought maybe she would be in my hospital room, waiting for me, holding my hand next to the side of the bed as I woke up. I thought someone would have gotten word to her, and wishful thinking had tainted my drug-addled brain.
But, she wasn’t here. I’d texted her a Merry Christmas, as I’d texted her something every single day since we’ve been broken up. But, just like every other day, she hasn’t responded.
I just want to get out of here so I can fight for us, just like Gramps had told me to do.
My father smiles, and a silence settles over us. He’s in street clothes, which seems so weird to me. Of course I’ve seen my father in jeans and T-shirts, but I’m just so much more used to seeing him in uniform. In plain clothes, he looks like a normal, average guy. He has muscles, but wasn’t as imposing as a bigwig in the army.
“Well, I hope she’s going to be smiling at me when I tell you about the decision I’ve made.” Dad wrings his hands.
I look at him, teasing, “What, that you’re finally going to let your hair grow out? No more buzz cuts.”
“I took a desk job. I’m hanging up my combat boots and settling into a cushy teaching position at the nearby base.” He stares at me, watching the words filter through my ears.
I blink. “You … you’re not going out on another tour?”
He shakes his head. “I’m not. I have to be home to watch my boy play college football. Plus, I don’t need to work for much longer. You’re going to buy me a house when you become rich and famous.”
I didn’t care how old I was, that I was a man myself … I lean forward and hug him. “It’s a deal.”
We embrace for the first time in a long time, and when I pull away first, there are tears in Dad’s eyes. “But you know, football isn’t life, bud.”
We both stare down at my finger, which is wired in a contraption and bandaged to high heaven. “I’m beginning to understand that, believe me.”
“I kind of had a feeling you were. I hope this has taught you that playing a sport as a career is so fleeting. I know how risky a career can be, maybe not in the athletic field, but I do know. There are so many more important things than fame and money, son. Family, that’s number one. Happiness, that’s number two. I don’t want you to run from both of those things, like me. They are essential, and I need to start paying them more attention than I do my career. I hope you keep that in mind as you start yours.”
I nod. “You didn’t raise me to be ignorant of that, Dad. I want you to know that. It’s starting to sink in, with this surgery but also with college on the horizon. Football is my dream, but it can vanish in a second. I don’t want to be left holding the bag, miserable, if it doesn’t work out.”
Dad clears his throat, clearly emotional. “Jeez, did you get smart while I was away or what?”
We both just look at each for a beat, realizing that while he is coming home, I am on my way out of town. Life is going to be very different, come this time next year. But it isn’t a bad different. Life ebbs and flows like the lake on the shores of my favorite spot, and you just have to go with it.
“So, should we sneak some extra Jell-O from the nurses for dessert?” Dad starts to clear our plates.
“Only if it’s the red kind. Green is nasty. Go get us extra, charm them, Dad. I saw the blond one checking you out earlier.” I wasn’t lying, she really had been checking him out.
“Oh, yeah?” He looks surprised. “Maybe I can get a cookie or two, then.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Cain
Two days after Christmas, I drive to Harper’s house with my bandaged up hand and still broken heart.
Cautiously, I park, walk up the steps, and knock on the door. I know that Harper probably won’t answer it once she sees who is standing on her front porch, but I figure I have to give it a shot.
Instead of the girl I love, though, I am greeted by her grandmother.
Who has a big fat scowl on her face.
“I knew you’d come around here eventually.”
Blanche reaches toward the wall to the left of her, but because I’m standing on the front porch, I don’t see what she’s trying to get.
Until there is a shotgun pointed straight at my nose.
“Woah! Mrs. Posy, I …” I put my hands up, hoping to keep my skull intact long enough to talk to Harper.
“You what? Broke my granddaughter’s heart? Are an asshole? A little shit. I should pop you right now, boy. It would be worth going to jail for.”
I’d heard you should never mess with Mama Posy, but damn, I hadn’t expected this. She was Texas through and through. My balls had just about shrunk up into my body when someone started shouting behind her.
“Mama! Put that down!” Clara appears at the door and grabs the gun, the barrel swinging this way and that as they wrestle over it.
I jump down, stumbling over three steps until I am standing in the dirt. Well, more like cowering away from these two women who were about to put holes in me or themselves.
Harper’s mom finally takes the gun away, setting it down inside and blowing out a breath while shaking her head.
“You’re off your damn rocker,” she mutters to her mother.
“Somebody has to teach that boy a lesson,” Grandma Posy harrumphs.
Clara swings her gaze to me, observing and judging. “Yeah, I heard what you did, Cain Kent. Hell of a stunt you pulled on my daughter. But I’m going to guess that if you’re here, you f
eel worse than she does right now. As you should.”
I scuff my sneaker in the dirt. “Yes, ma’am. I just want to talk to her.”
“We ain’t her daddy, God rest his soul, but we could still beat the piss out of you. And clearly, we know how to shoot the piss out of you, too, if that’s what we wanted to do.”
She’s threatening me, and I gulp. “Yes, ma’am.”
“You’re not going to make a mistake with my daughter again, correct?”
“No, ma’am.” I look her in the eye, my mood solemn.
“And you’re in love with her?” This was the test, her eyebrow raises, waiting to see what I will say.
I angled my chin up. “Yes, ma’am.”
A beat passes, and they both stare at me. Then her mom speaks. “Good man. She’s out in the pasture by the woods, you can find her there.”
“What?!” Blanche protests, but her daughter places her hand on her mother’s arm.
“You tried to stop young love once, look how well that turned out. If it’s meant to be, it will find a way. Life is about mistakes. It’s how we correct them that matters.”
She looks at me when she says that last part, and I take off in a run out toward the back of the Posy property.
Harper is almost a mile out, sitting in the fields alone, her blond hair gleaming under the setting sun. She’s looking off into the horizon, and doesn’t hear or see me. I take the moment to admire her, to digest her with my eyes. In a couple of minutes, she could completely reject me forever. So right then, I just wanted to observe the girl I love, in her peaceful, relaxed state.
My sneakers clomp over the grass, my hands shake and my heart pounds so loudly that I think it’s what makes Harper turn her head.
Those blue eyes widen in surprise, and I talk before she can tell me to get the hell away from her.
“I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.” I quoted Great Expectations to her.
Sitting down beside her, I rise up on my knees so I can hold my hands out in forgiveness. “For a long time, I thought that love between a girl and a boy didn’t exist. Every woman in my life has left, and besides, I have places I want to go. I couldn’t have a relationship that would tether me, tie me down.”
Harper looks like she wants to speak, but I hold a finger up, needing her to hear all of this.
“And because of that mentality, I pushed every single girl away. I made up dumb competitions and didn’t take into account people’s feelings. I was an asshole, and it was a low, low thing to do. But … then I met you. And as much as I, stupidly, thought that being with you threatened where I wanted to go, I couldn’t push you away. I kept falling harder for you; the way you talked with me, how smart and funny you were. And God, Harper, you’re just beautiful … sometimes I find myself staring at you and I lose track of time. It wasn’t until reality hit me square in the jaw, when you broke up with me, that I realized that having you in my life wasn’t a tether. You weren’t tying me down, you were helping me fly. I love you, and I’m not going anywhere if you’re not by my side to do it with me.”
When I finish pouring my heart out, I look at her. Harper’s eyes are sparkling with unshed tears, and she’s so close to touching one of my outstretched hands that I have to fight every nerve ending in me not to do it for her.
“You hurt me. And you lied. I want you to know that both of those will never be okay for you to do again.” Her expression isn’t exactly open, but it’s not closed
“Again?” My voice is the definition of hope.
“I love against reason.” She shrugs, those beautiful lips turning up in a small smile. “I never had a chance when it came to you, Cain. But, I also have places I want to go. We aren’t going to hold each other back, especially at such a young age. We both have growing up to do, but I want to do it with you.”
Finally, her small hand meets mine, and our fingers lace together.
“How did I get so lucky?”
Harper tilts her head. “I’m not sure it’s luck. I think that we both see in each other, something that makes us whole.”
“Babe, you put into words feelings that I could never even try to describe. So yes, you understand me like no one ever will.”
I bend to kiss her. This kiss, not our first in the least, feels new. It holds promises and whispers of the future. This kiss feels like we’re starting off on a journey toward something so much bigger than this little town.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Harper
The clock is ticking down, an hour to go, as Taylor Swift shakes her stuff in front of the audience in Times Square.
Someone has rigged up a giant projection screen in The Atrium, the sight of tonight’s New Year’s Eve party for pretty much all of the students at Haven High school. It’s true, the last time I was here, I wasn’t really even inside this building, but the party happening right now is a whole other level.
Girls in sequined party dresses or blinged out cowboy boots, boys in all varying shades of dress … from those joking around by wearing tuxedos, to Cain, who is in a nice button down and jeans. I’d gone for a simple black dress, but one that showed a little cleavage. All night, I couldn’t keep from blushing because Cain couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering down to the V at my chest.
“Take a shot with me pleaseee!” MK comes over, looping an arm around my neck.
“No thanks, I’m not really drinking tonight. But, hey, what a novel concept, I’m still having fun!”
“Spare me the after school special lecture.” Annabelle walks up, rolling her eyes.
“Just looking out for you, sister.” Sarcasm dripping from my voice.
She shudders. “God, who would have thought that the new girl will someday, probably, become my sister? I get first pick of bridesmaid dress … I have to look better than you.”
Obviously, supermodel Anna would look better than me in anything, but I didn’t care. We were getting along … or well, we had this kind of fun banter with each other. I don’t think we’ll ever hug through the tough times or braid each other’s hair, but we were getting to a place of friendship, and that was all right with me.
“She was my friend first, don’t forget that. Hey, maybe I can be like an honorary sister,” Mary-Kate slurred, but the smile on her face was too goofy and sweet not to laugh with her.
“Of course you can.” I hug her waist.
Anna blows out a breath. “God, are we starting some kind of YaYa sisterhood or some shit?”
“Oh, come do a shot with me, queen bee. Let your hair down.” MK winks at me and starts to pull Annabelle away.
I stand in the middle of the warehouse, mesmerized by all of the light and noise. There has to be hundreds of kids here, all moving and dancing and talking. They were bright and bubbly, everyone teetering on the edge of an old year and about to be plunged into a new one. And even though I stood alone, I didn’t feel it.
I’d become a part of this close-knit town, with its typical Texas flair and quirky townspeople. When we’d first moved back to Mom’s hometown, I hadn’t been expecting a thing. I’d wanted to keep my head down, to get through the school year without attachments and then float on from this place, almost as if I’d never been here at all.
But it had sucked me in. With its charm and heat, the dust from the gravel roads has become imbedded so deep in my skin that now, I knew I’d always be a part of Haven. And it would always be a part of me.
The biggest part, the one that would always remain close now, is staring at me from across the room. I can feel his eyes on my body, moving up from toes to knees to waist to breasts to chin to eyes. And when they meet, his green and mine blue, a spark ignites between us. Even though there is a mass of bodies in the way, I can feel his gaze like the warmth of a thousand suns.
Cain smiles, almost shy, and waves. I wiggle my fingers back, and it feels like we could be strangers meeting for the first time.
We fooled around, which was incredible, but mostly I just loved the feeling of falling asleep wrapped completely in him. I wasn’t sure which felt better, nodding off in his arms, or waking up in them.
We have spent most of tonight together, but have broken off at times, going to talk to our separate friends. But we did dance, never straying too far, both of our heads swiveling to check the other’s proximity pretty much every minute.
And now he is walking toward me, those long legs and commanding presence parting the sea of people between us while his eyes never leave mine. Lord, he is handsome. I remember the first day I saw him, how in awe of this golden boy I was. I was astonished by him then, but even more so now. Because I know that underneath the bad boy exterior, the pouty lips and rugged bone structure, is a heart that was more tender than even Cain liked to admit.
“Fancy seeing you here. Do you have a midnight kiss lined up?” His arms wind around my waist, and he practically picks me up off the floor.
I tilt my head, pretending to think. “I do, but if you can sweet talk me into it, I might let you beat him to it.”
“Oh, my lucky night.” He winks, and then steals my lips, catching them in a heated, growl of a kiss.
When we break away, to a wolf whistle or two, I smile up at him. “How many drinks have you had?”
The Tenth Girl Page 16