Cain holds up three fingers in a scout’s honor salute. “One beer, my lady. I’m holding to our pact. One drink, and then champagne at midnight. See, I can be a responsible adult.”
I swat his butt in a playful move. “The only responsible thing about you is me.”
Those green eyes light up. “That’s true, but I like you bossy.”
We’d made a pact before coming to this party that we wouldn’t drink much. Both of us wanting to keep a clear head and enjoy the night with each other, no alcohol tainting it. I’d told him he could have a beer with the guys, and we could both drink bubbly to toast at midnight.
After dancing a little and chatting with his group of friends, whom Cain seems to be warming back up to after the entire competition coming to light, it was time to count down to the new year.
“Five, four, three, two, ONE!” The entire Atrium shakes with the tenor of voices screaming the final second of two thousand eighteen.
The countdown clock hits triple zeros, and all of a sudden, the room goes quiet. People are kissing, friends are hugging, a lot of the jocks are chugging beers. Way to start a new year, I think sarcastically.
But all thoughts cease when Cain pulls me in for a kiss. It’s long and slow, mind-numbing, time-stopping. It is celebratory and passionate all in the same breath.
It’s after midnight. We left last year behind, and all of the ugliness that had come with it was washed away. Wasn’t that what New Year’s was about? Turning the page, starting fresh?
I want to do that. And I want to do that by getting rid of the only thing still standing between Cain and me.
My virginity.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Harper
Half an hour after midnight, we pull into the driveway at Cain’s house.
After the new year started, the party was still going strong, but some of the celebratory buzz had washed off for the two of us, and we just wanted to be alone. So he’d asked if I would sleep over, and of course I’d said yes.
Cain kills the headlights and turns the car off, turning to me in the dark and cupping my face before we both get out and walk in through the front door. He holds my hand, neither of us speaking, and I have a feeling that the same thoughts that are running through my head are running through his.
I speak up, knowing that I have to take the lead on this if I want it to happen. “I want you.”
Cain’s eyes widen, and his mouth forms an O. “You’re sure? I want you to be absolutely sure.”
I nod. “I want you to be my first. I want you to be my only, really. I love you, Cain. I told you that I’d be ready to have sex when I was in love, and I am.”
My fingers feel the quickening of his pulse at his wrist, and I see it the moment that silky curtain of nerves rolls over his body. “I don’t want to mess this up for you. I want to make you feel good, not pain.”
I gulp, scared about that part. “You will. I’ve been told it’s natural for it to hurt a little, but I promise I won’t hold it against you.”
His laugh is low at my joke, and he breathes out a sigh. “Okay.”
We walk up the stairs together to his bedroom, kissing lightly as we mount the steps. My heartbeat is thrumming in my brain, my lungs feel like they can’t take in enough air. In my head, I’m calm and resolved in my decision. But between the arousal licking up my thighs and my racing heart, my body is fluctuating between panic and anticipation.
Stepping over the threshold of Cain’s bedroom, he refrains from flicking on the lights. Drawing the curtains all the way open, moonlight pools in around our feet.
Slowly, we undress each other. The zipper of my dress splintering in the silence. The brush of his shirt against the smattering of hair on his chest. Both of our shoes, slowly toed off while Cain dusts light kisses down my collarbone. My dress is peeled past my hips and kicked gently across the floor. His boxer shorts sliding down, revealing every naked inch of him.
When we’re down to our flesh, he wraps me up in him, the scent of spring fresh deodorant and the mint of the gum he had been chewing invading my nose. Goose bumps spring up on my body as Cain trails his fingertips all over it, from the round of my butt to the bones of my hips to my peaked nipples.
He walks us to the bed, where I scoot backward until he can crawl over me. I think he’s going to come kiss me, but he stops midway up my body, his lips curving to the inside of my thigh with a wicked smile.
“Oh.” It’s all I can say as he begins to move his mouth, wetting my skin and leaving it tattooed with his brand.
Cain’s mouth feasts on my core, leaving me panting and wound so tight that I think I might fracture from the pleasure. I’m more slick than I’ve ever been there, and when he pushes a thick finger in at the same time that his teeth nip at the swollen bud of my center, I moan so loud that I could have woken the dead.
Before I can reach that sought after cliff edge though, Cain and his long, lean arms are tenting over me. I’m vaguely aware of him rolling on a condom, how he got that so smoothly without fumbling, I don’t know. But I’m staring into his eyes, both of us trying to speak without words.
This is a big moment.
Are you ready?
Yes. I love you.
I love you, too. His eyes shutter close for a brief moment and then open, blazing.
I brace myself, trying to stay calm but knowing this invasion will probably hurt. I spread my legs as wide as they’ll go and then wrap my hands around Cain’s back. I always thought of having sex as more of a metaphorical thing, but now that I’m about to do it, I actually see how natural it is. How he will fit with me, how we will physically perform the act of making love. It’s the most intimate way that two people who love each other can express that feeling.
“Ahh …” I can’t help but cry out in pain when Cain pushes in, the rigidness of him splitting me in half.
I feel the pain everywhere, radiating from the inside out.
He pushes a lock of hair from my forehead and leans down, looking deep into my eyes. “Breathe, baby.”
I do, gritting through my teeth. And slowly, the pain subsides. It gives way to a flood of feeling. There is a tinge of soreness, fullness … but as Cain starts to stroke slowly, my entire body feels like it’s one big nerve ending. I’m sparking, a fever spreading from my toes to the roots of my hair.
I grip the back of his neck and tentatively flex my hips every time he strokes, the sensation so good that it makes me whimper. I’m dangerously close to coming apart at the seams.
“I. Love. You. So. Much,” Cain growls through his teeth, and I see for the first time just how much he’s holding back.
“Let go. You won’t hurt me.” I kiss him, tasting the sweat from his cheek.
He grunts and starts to really move, his hips slapping against mine. Something deep within me starts to vibrate, expand and buzz with so much pleasure that I can’t think. I only feel, only Cain.
The orgasm floats over me, an airy feeling that makes the hairs on my skin stand up and my muscles lose all control of themselves. Cain buries his face in my shoulder, mouthing my name and drawing it into my skin with his lips. His weight on top of me only makes the climax sweeter.
We lie like that for a long time, maybe the entire night … I’m not even sure that the world is moving. It might have just up and stopped spinning.
I’ve lost it, maybe sooner than I thought I would, but I don’t regret a thing.
Because I’ve gained so much more.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Cain
“Come on, babe, just press it.”
Harper’s hand rests on her laptop, her knee bouncing up and down in time with, what I was guessing, her heartbeat.
We sit at the kitchen table in her house, Blanche and Clara standing at the counter preparing sandwiches for lunch.
“Aw, come on, child, just do it already.” Blanche blows a breath out and gives her granddaughter her sternest look.
I cover her shaking knee
with my hand and squeeze, hoping that it will calm her nerves.
“I know, I know … it’s just, there is no going back after this. Will people even buy it? And if they do, will they like it? What if I get a bad review?”
Her mom turns around. “And what if you don’t publish it? Guess what? You’ll never know any of those answers then. Do it now, or we’ll hold your hands back and Cain will do it for you.”
I press my lips to her forehead and watch her cheeks turn pink. I’ll never tire of that blush, I’ve craved it since the day we met. “You can do this, babe.”
She takes a deep breath, checks the details on the setup page about four more times, and then scrolls. And clicks publish now.
“Oh my God!” she squeals, hiding her eyes.
A tiny box pops up on the screen that tells her it may take forty-eight to seventy-two hours for the book to be available online, and then it flashes onto a screen where it says her book is in review.
“I can’t believe it’s out in the universe. That I’m going to be an actual, real published author.” Harper turns to look at all of us.
Her mom and grandma start clapping and I join in, whooping and hollering.
Bending toward her, I kiss her cheek. “I’m so proud of you, baby.”
Clara and Blanche come over, attacking her with kisses until she giggles. “We are, too.”
Clara stands up and starts to cry happy tears. “Oh, I can’t wait to buy my copy. I’m so excited.”
“All right, Mom, hold your horses. It’s not even published yet.” Harper rolls her eyes, but smiles.
“Let’s go get some ice cream to celebrate.” I want to get her alone, but mostly I don’t want her sitting in front of the computer refreshing it a hundred times over the next hour.
“Are you crazy? It’s freezing out.” She shivers.
Harper is adorable in her sweater, and it only makes me want to get her out of it more. Since we’d started having sex, I was like a crazed animal. I couldn’t even have her in the same hundred yards of me without wanting to jump her. Feeling her, naked against me, made me an insatiable person. She fits perfectly with me, our bodies move together like waves in an ocean … running one into the next into the next.
I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop from hauling her off right now. How had I never known how good sex could be when you were in love with someone? I was a fool. But then again, it wouldn’t have been right with anyone but Harper. I’d been waiting for her, I just hadn’t known it.
“Then hot chocolate. We’ll get hot chocolate.” I take her hand and shake gently, inviting her to stand up.
“Yeah, you should get out. No use loitering around here, you’ll know on your cell phone when it goes up anyway. Kids know everything these days from those cell phones.” Blanche shakes her head.
Harper relents, and I drive us into town, walking to her favorite, and the only, coffee shop on Main Street. I buy us two hot chocolates and she picks her table by the window, where I join her with the steaming mugs.
“Thanks for getting me out, I needed this.” She smiles at me as she cups her drink, a little bit of chocolate foam dusting her upper lip.
I lean across the table and use my thumb to wipe it off, loving the way she looks at me when I do. “I know what you need. Studying you is my favorite subject.”
“What next? You’re going to tell me I’m your desk and you need to do homework on me.” She rolls her eyes at the corny sex joke.
“You know I only use my greatest pickup lines on you, darlin’.” I wink. “So, what’s the plan for the next book?”
Harper laughs. “I just finished this one, can’t you give me a minute?”
I reach for her hand. “I can give you a minute, but just one. Because I know that this is your dream, so I’m going to push you to be the very best that you can at it. You told me that this was what you wanted to do, and I know a little something about giving two hundred percent. Even if I sound pushy sometimes, just know I only have your best interests in mind.”
Her eyes crinkle. “Thanks, babe.”
“Throwing babes around, huh? I like the nickname. Keep it coming.” I take a sip of my hot chocolate and ask the one question I’ve been scared to pose until now. “So, with the book published now … what will you do after graduation?”
She runs her free hand through her hair. “Well, I have to see how much money it makes first. That will largely make my decision. But … if it does well, I want to use the money to travel. Just me, my laptop and the world.”
My heart drops, because I know that is what’s best for her, but I don’t want to let her go. I love her, and I have to set her free. I still have a couple of months with Harper, this means, and I shouldn’t have that in the back of my mind for all of them … but I know I will.
“So, what will happen with us?” I sound so sensitive, but I don’t care about being vulnerable with her.
Harper smiles. “Well, you don’t think you’re going to get rid of me that quickly, do you? I’m not letting those college girls anywhere near you.”
My heart stops beating. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not a millionaire, I can’t travel every day like an Instagram model. And I told you, I want to go with you. I want to share our journeys together. I want to watch you play collegiate football and get drafted, I want to be the one you throw in the air when you win a Super Bowl.”
“So, you want to come with me to Austin?”
Harper nods. “I want to be there a majority of the time. And sometimes I’ll travel. We’ll have our own lives, but we’ll do them together.”
How the hell had I gotten this girl? How the hell did she know exactly what I needed? That when I got to college, I would need to balance football and a relationship. What Harper has proposed sounded like the best of both worlds.
“You’re the only one I’d want to do this with.”
And she was. She might have been the tenth girl, but she was the only. The only one who mattered. The only one who had ever broken me open and taught me how to feel.
The only one who I would ever love.
Epilogue
Harper
Two Years Later
The Uber I took from the airport can’t move fast enough.
My feet are tapping on the carpeted floor of the car, my hand clutching my phone, checking the time repeatedly.
“Is there any way you could go a little faster?”
“Lady, the game traffic is thicker than mud on a pig. There ain’t no way I’m getting through this fast.”
Opening up Google Maps, I track how far the stadium is from my location right now. Only about half a mile … I could run that. Not well and I’d look like an uncoordinated chicken, but if I didn’t sprint it, I would miss the start of the game.
“All right, I’m getting out. Thanks for the ride.” I hop out, weaving my way over onto the sidewalk.
“Give me five stars!” The driver calls after me.
That’s the least of my worries right now, but I’ll do it eventually. I knew it was a bad idea to fly home from Vienna this morning. Cain had said it was fine, and it would have been … except that my flight had gotten delayed and I was almost going to miss the opening kickoff of his sophomore year season.
Last year, he had redshirted until the starting quarterback had gotten hurt halfway through the season. Then Cain had come in, brought his college in the cute city of Austin all the way to the playoffs before they lost. Despite that, he was being talked about as the next coming of Jesus, and of course the entire state of Texas, as well as most of the national league fans, are obsessed with him.
As they should be … I’d never expected any less. But this was his first game in the first season that he’d won the starting quarterback job fair and square. And if I didn’t pick up my pace, I was going to miss it.
Cain and I have been together for almost three years now, two of those while he’s been in college. And I’d been … well, I’d been doing
my author thing. We had done what we said we would, living our lives separately but together. He had football and the limelight, much of which I shied away from. Even if there had been a couple of pieces on the Internet tying Cain Kent to bestselling suspense author Harper Posy.
And while he was being Mr. Athlete, I was off at least a week or two every other month, writing in the cities of the worlds. Or sometimes, even, off the map. The trip I’d taken to the Swiss Alps, where I’d done nothing but drink hot chocolate, eaten fresh bread and cheese, and written for a week, came to mind.
Over the past two years, I’d really upped my knowledge of the business, and my writing acumen. I’d hired outside help in the form of an editor, graphic designer, and publicist. An agent had sought me out and was now helping to publish my books internationally. I had a financial advisor, the same trusted one that Cain used, helping to manage my money and diversify the revenue I brought in. Even though it was against the normal, and I had been scared shitless for much of that first year as a published author, not going to college had been the right decision for me.
I wasn’t bogged down by a class schedule, and that was great, because believe me, being an author was a full-time, with overtime available, job. It took a village to write a book, and I was lucky enough to make it my only source of income. I knew how lucky I was to do that, to be able to travel and gain inspiration.
It took all day, every day to grow a business. I wasn’t making the big bucks just yet, but I was comfortable, and certainly made more money than I’d ever known growing up. I was squirreling it away, even traveling on a budget when I probably could afford to splurge a little more. But I wanted to support myself, and maybe someday a family, and that kind of salary didn’t come overnight.
Sometimes, Mom came on the trips with me. It was a blessing to be able to take her on my adventures, to give back to her for raising me as a single parent. I’d dropped in on her and Michael’s honeymoon last year in Hawaii for two days. And I had even gotten Grandma to go to Ireland with me. She was in whiskey heaven, even though she said she couldn’t wait to get back home to her ranch.
The Tenth Girl Page 17