Delta Belles
Page 30
She hadn’t felt it for a very long time, that sense of Presence. She had held onto her anger, nursed it, unable to reconcile the unanswerable dilemmas that surrounded Rankin’s death. But now, as the music soared, she began to rise above the questions and see things from a different perspective.
Inside her head, Delta could almost hear the tumblers of the lock falling into place, the door creaking open. She had blamed God for Rankin’s death, as if God sat up there pulling the strings like some cosmic puppeteer, for good or ill. But now she understood: God wasn’t up there at all, but down here, in the trenches, experiencing life’s joys and agonies with us and within us.
The liberation came like a healing flood. Within the deep recesses of her soul, a cold, dark place suddenly illuminated and warmed as if a fire had been lit.
Shit happens, Delta thought. Chaos impinges upon order. We live in a bent and broken world. Whatever language you used, the reality was the same: Suffering was as much a part of life as joy. And for those who believed, or tried to believe—for seekers of truth and of holy love—there was only one conclusion. In our suffering, God suffers too, and when we weep, God’s tears drip down like rain.
Now, on the other side of her anger, she saw her husband’s death in a different light. And not only his death, but his life— their life together, with all its purpose and significance. At last Delta understood the wholeness of the gift they had been given, more than twenty years of joy and grace and love.
The music soared to its glorious crescendo, and Rae began to sing words Delta had never heard before. Instinctively she surmised that they were a recent addition—written, perhaps, during Rae Dawn’s dark years alone. They blended flawlessly into the piece, rising upward on the final notes:
Reach and keep reaching,
Touch and keep touching,
Fear not the future, the pain, or the loss.
Sing and keep singing,
Hope and keep hoping,
Love and keep loving whatever the cost.
The music echoed into silence, and the house lights came up. No one applauded; no one even breathed. Stunned and astonished, the audience sat motionless. Some of the faces were streaked with tears.
The silence went on for a full two minutes, and then, as if on cue, the entire audience rose as one and began clapping.
Delta looked around the stage. Lacy and Lauren gripped each others hands and gave a little bow. She moved closer.
“Have you talked with Lacy?” she said into Lauren’s ear while the noise of the crowd roared around them. “About—you know. You and Trip.”
“Not yet,” Lauren said. “But I will.” She turned away to take another bow.
Delta wanted to grab her, shake her, tell her that this time tomorrow might be too late. But she didn’t. She had done all she could. She had been there. She had listened. The rest was up to them.
Rae Dawn was standing next to the piano with her arms around Noel. Rae motioned Delta over. “This is Noel!” she yelled over the chaos. “Honey, this is Delta.”
“Thank you!” Noel shouted.
“My pleasure,” Delta murmured. No one heard her, but it really didn’t matter.
Just as they were about to leave the stage for the last time, the door to the banquet hall burst open and a flushed, fresh-faced young girl rushed in. She reminded Delta of the four of them more than twenty years ago—ardent and enthusiastic, full of the promise of an unknown future.
“The ginkgo tree is shedding!” the girl shouted. “If you catch a leaf by moonlight, you’ll find your one true love!” And she dashed out again.
Delta looked at Rae Dawn and Noel, at Lauren, at Lacy. In unison, they shook their heads in disbelief and began to laugh.
And then, still laughing, the Delta Belles joined hands and took one final bow.
EPILOGUE
EMORY University
APRIL 1997
Delta booted up the computer and opened her e-mail files. In addition to the usual run of interdepartmental memos, she had three personal messages.
She clicked on the first, from Lace49KC:
DELTA—
JUST RETURNED FROM MY HONEYMOON AND BACK TO
TEACHING FIRST OF NEXT WEEK. HANK SENDS HIS BEST, ALSO
ALISON. SO GLAD YOU COULD COME FOR THE WEDDING.
RAES SONG WAS BEAUTIFUL, WASNT IT? WE’RE ALL SO BLESSED.
LACY
The message evoked both a smile and a pang of regret. Lacy had, as planned, returned to Kansas City immediately after the twenty-fifth anniversary reunion. A bittersweet decision that had led to love for Lacy but no real reconciliation between her and Lauren. They had made up, Delta thought, but long-distance forgiveness was never quite the same.
The second e-mail, from Lauren, confirmed her suspicions:
HI DELTA—
SORRY I MISSED THE WEDDING. WOULD LOVE TO HAVE SEEN YOU. LACY’S INVITATION WAS VERY GRACIOUS, BUT TRIP AND
I FELT IT MIGHT BE UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HER. WEVE TALKED, SORT OF, ALTHOUGH E-MAIL AND PHONE ISN T THE SAME AS FACE TO FACE. I MISSED MY CHANCE, I GUESS. LESS STRESS HERE NOW THAT SHE S MOVED, BUT I WISH IT COULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT. CALL ME SOMETIME.
LOVE, LAUREN
And the last, from CrescentCityBlues:
DELTA—
GREAT TO SEE YOU AT LACY S WEDDING. WISHED THERE
HAD BEEN MORE TIME TO TALK. HOW ABOUT COMING TO
VISIT US SOON? WE’LL MAKE WAFFLES AND SCRAMBLED EGGS
AND HAVE BRUNCH ON THE PATIO.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. NOEL SENDS HER LOVE.
R & N
P.S. WE ADOPTED A DOG, A SWEET LITTLE SHELTER MUTT. HIS NAME IS GOTTLIEB.
Delta leaned back in her chair and grinned at the screen. Life didn’t always work out the way you hoped, but sometimes, sometimes. …
A knock on the door arrested her thoughts. She turned and looked up.
It was Lily Quentin, a student from her English lit class. An exceptional student, for the most part, although she seemed distracted since returning from spring break.
“Dr. Ballou?”
Delta held up both hands. “This time next week you can call me Doctor, if all goes well. I still have to get through my dissertation defense.”
Lily edged into the room and stood shifting from one foot to the other. “Did you know that T. S. Eliot never finished his doctorate? Wrote his thesis, but then wouldn’t show up to defend it. Apparently he said that anything he wrote needed no defense.”
Delta laughed. “If you’re T. S. Eliot, maybe. I don’t suppose he mentioned how many footnotes were necessary to make The Wasteland comprehensible.”
Lily gave a weak smile and fidgeted with her backpack. “I don’t mean to interrupt.”
“What’s up, Lily? Have a seat.”
Lily sighed and sank into a chair. “I probably shouldn’t be bothering you. This is not even about lit class. I just wanted to talk, if you have time.”
Delta gazed at her desk. Two dozen ungraded term papers littered the surface. She had an exam to write, a composition class at two, a faculty meeting at four, and she still hadn’t fully prepared for her dissertation defense.
But in the back of her mind she remembered Drs. Bowen and Hart, all those dinners and late-night coffees and conversations over brunch on the patio with the dogs at their heels. She saw the image of a skinny blond waiter named Gabe, remembered his smile, heard him say Even a bartender can listen. The echo of a feeling washed over her, like standing on the beach at sunrise. Like driving through the country with the top down. Like leaving home and coming home all at the same time.
And deep inside, she felt the spark as flint struck steel.
She clicked out of the e-mail program, stacked the term papers, and leaned forward to fix her gaze on her students face.
“Talk to me, Lily,” she said. “I’ve got all the time in the world.”
READING GROUP COMPANION
Delta Belles is the story of four friends whose lives intersect during t
heir first year of college—a crucial time of self-awareness and development. Which of the four reminds you most of yourself during your early twenties? Do any of the characters remind you of people you once knew?
What makes the difference between friendships that endure and those that fade away? Do you think some friendships are meant for a particular time in your life, and others meant to last a lifetime?
The singing group Delta Belles starts out as a practical joke, a way for Delta to get revenge on Rae Dawn and the Cantrell twins, Lauren and Lacy. How does that group become a bonding experience for the four of them, and a significant turning point for each of them individually?
The sixties was a time of great change and upheaval in the United States, both in the South and nationwide. How do national conflicts, such as the war in Vietnam and the Civil Rights movement, call up the best or the worst in us as individuals?
The twins, Lauren and Lacy, have a comically combative style of relating to one another. Do you think this is common between close siblings, especially twins? What deeper issues underlie the competition between them?
When Lacy meets Trip Jenkins and falls in love, what effect does her happiness have on the others? What awareness does their relationship bring to Delta? To Rae Dawn? Why is Lauren especially jealous, when she has had so many boyfriends?
One of the underlying themes of the book has to do with mentors, and the enormous influence they can exert, for better or worse, on their young charges. How is the relationship between
Gottlieb and Rae Dawn significant in her life? What influence do Frankie and Suze have on Deltas life, and on Rae Dawn’s? How does Grandma Mitchell serve as a later mentor for Delta?
Delta isn’t a particularly religious person when she comes to college. Why do you think she falls for the minister/activist Rankin Ballou, and what changes take place in her life because of her relationship with him?
When Rae Dawn falls in love, her choices can mean the difference between success and failure in her career. Do you think she deliberately chooses success over love? What does she gain/lose in the process? Is her relationship any different than the one Delta has with Rankin?
What kinds of betrayal take place during the course of the novel? How do you come to forgiveness—and even, perhaps, to renewal of relationship—after such betrayal?
At the beginning of the novel, when Delta is trying to come to grips with Rankin’s death, she thinks:
“Time healed nothing. God’s presence was an illusion…. Theoretically, ‘Walking the way of Jesus’ sounded good, noble, the right thing to do. But did the outcome have to be so damnably predictable?”
Is Delta right, that time heals nothing and God’s presence is an illusion? How do the events that follow on the heels of Rankin’s death confirm or undermine that assertion? Where in Delta’s life do love and grace appear most clearly?
According to legend, the ginkgo tree sheds all its leaves in a single night, and any girl who stood under the tree by moon light and caught a leaf in flight would find her heart’s true love before the leaves came back again in spring. How is the legend of the ginkgo fulfilled in each character’s life? What different kinds of “true love” do they find?
PUBLISHED BY BROADWAY BOOKS
Copyright © 2006 by Penelope J. Stokes
All Rights Reserved
BROADWAY BOOKS and its logo, a letter B bisected on the diagonal,
are trademarks of Random House, Inc.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses,
organizations, places, events, and incidents either are the
product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual
persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
All unattributed poetry contained herein is the original work of the
author and may not be used without permission.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Stokes, Penelope J.
Delta Belles / Penelope Stokes.
p. cm.
eISBN: 978-0-307-48371-3
1. Female friendship—Fiction. 2. Women college students—Fiction.
3. Class reunions—Fiction. 4. Widows—Fiction. 5. Lesbians—Fiction.
6. Coming out (Sexual orientation)—Fiction. I. Title.
PS3569.T6219D45 2006
813'.54—dc22
2005054761
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