Sky of Dreams BN

by Jenna Jacob

  Donning a mask of indifference while he honed his skills of perception, Sky cupped her chin and forced her gaze. A feeling of déjà vu slid up his spine, leaving a trail of ice. Memories exploded from the metal walls within, blowing the lid wide open. A blistering wave of guilt and remorse slammed through him.

  He hadn’t exercised his skills on a woman since confronting Badra, that horrific, soul-crippling day. Had it not been for Nina, Sky might have eaten a bullet to end his agony. Holding back a curse, he inwardly scrambled, shoving the poisonous memories safely behind his steel walls. Now wasn’t the time or place to slide down the slippery slope of the past. Sky wanted…no, he needed answers for the scars Katie had scored upon his heart.

  “Then why did you?”

  “I was afraid,” she whispered.

  He knew she was telling the truth, but there was a wealth of embarrassment and fear still locked inside her. Sky watched the pain shimmer to the surface before Katie cast her eyes down again.

  “Look at me,” he demanded. When she blinked back up at him, he delved even deeper. “Afraid of what?”

  “Of everything,” she replied as her voice cracked. “I was afraid to leave…afraid to stay. I worried you’d hate me if I left Connor…left you. That whole summer, I woke up every day determined to tell you everything, but the minute I saw your face…felt your kiss…your love, I always wanted one more amazing day to fill myself so full of you that it would last me until I came home to see you again.”

  A tear slid down her cheek. He badly wanted to wipe it away and wrap her in his arms…but he couldn’t. Not until she purged all the guilt and pain…no matter how badly it chewed him up inside.

  “When I finally worked up the nerve to tell you, everything between us changed, just like I knew it would. You pulled away from me, cut me out of your life, out of your heart. I felt so empty and alone. I tried to pretend that everything would be fine, but deep down, I knew it wouldn’t. When I realized I couldn’t pretend anymore…I left.”

  The eighteen-year-old boy inside Sky howled with anger. “How was I supposed to take the news, Katie? You knew the whole fucking summer but didn’t tell me? Then when you finally sprang the news on me, I started questioning if you ever really loved me at all. Jesus, I didn’t know what to do. No, wait. That’s not true. I knew exactly what to do, but you ran off before I had the chance to do it,” he bellowed.

  “What were you going to do?” Katie’s eyes were wide as if she were shocked he’d had a plan she didn’t know about.

  Sky fought the urge to paddle her sexy little ass. He would have, too, if it wouldn’t have traumatized her even more and if he hadn’t been so damn furious. Instead, he crammed his hand into his pocket and palmed the ring he’d bought for Katie thirteen years ago. Like a fool, he carried it with him as a reminder of the woman he’d lost. Sky had even taken the damn thing with him to Iraq in hopes to banish the broken-hearted farm boy from Connor into something stronger. Redirecting his pain was the only way he’d been able to assume the role of Recon Marine: the gutsy, balls-to-the-wall, badass who didn’t apologize for his anger or savage, heartless nature.

  Sky swallowed tightly, brought his hand up, and opened his fist. The white-gold band with a square-cut diamond in the middle twinkled in the palm of his hand.

  A squeak that sounded like terror peeled off Katie’s throat before she turned and ran down the road.

  “Son of a bitch,” Sky spat. He shoved the ring back into his pocket, berating himself for pushing too hard, then sprinted after her. “Katie. Katie, stop.”

  ~*~

  The minute she saw the ring in Sky’s hand, a second panic attack crashed down on her. Terrified that he was going to ask her to marry him then and there, Kaitlin hauled ass. Her fingers and toes tingled as her chest burned from lack of air, but she didn’t stop. She kept pumping her arms and legs, running as hard and fast as she could. Though she had no destination in mind, the only message screaming in her brain was to get as far away from Sky as possible. His cry for her to stop echoed in her head along with the sound of his feet tearing up the gravel and closing in fast behind her.

  “Goddammit, Katie. Quit running,” Sky commanded. His voice thundered deep.

  Even his irritated tone sent a rush of warmth sluicing through her veins. How could she be so desperate to flee him and ache to be nestled in his arms? The constant tug-of-war within was making her lose her damn mind. She’d never resurrect the woman lost within if she kept choking on the relentless sludge of insecurities. Sky couldn’t be the tourniquet she used to stem the flow of growth that lay ahead of her. Kaitlin had to dig deep, shove a stake in the ground, and take back her life…her control.

  Slowing to a stop, she let out a howl of frustration. Bending at the waist, she gulped in air as Sky moved in beside her. Anger poured off him, hitting her square in the gut like a sledgehammer.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he barked, barely winded.

  “Nothing,” she gasped.

  “Nothing? Bullshit,” he snarled. “And I naïvely thought you might be finished lying to me. Obviously not.”

  “Go away, Sky,” she hissed.

  “I’m fucking tired of hearing you tell me to go away. Stand up and fight me, goddammit. You never used to be afraid to do that. You want an easy way out? Fine. Forget I exist. You’ve already had years of practice at it.”

  Sky turned and stormed back toward the house. Every fiber in Kaitlin screamed for her to run after him, but she didn’t. It was unfair to draw him into her chaos any further. After hearing how gutted he’d been after she’d left him, Kaitlin loved him too much to inflict more torment on him. The guilt she’d brought home with her paled in comparison to the shit-ton weighing her down now. With a curse, she began trudging back toward the house.

  “Well, dinner’s going to reach a whole new level of awkward now,” she grumbled.

  “Kaitlin Elizabeth Grant,” Gran called out from the porch.

  “I’m here. Christ, you haven’t used my full name since I was nine,” Kaitlin groused as she made her way to the porch.

  “I haven’t wanted to take a switch to your bottom since you were nine, either, but I’m beginning to think that’s exactly what you need.”

  No thank you, I’ve had enough physical abuse for one lifetime, she thought with an inward shudder.

  “What in the devil has gotten into you? Sky said you took off running down the road having another one of those panic attacks.”

  But he didn’t tell you why, did he…the jerk.

  Gran wrapped her arm around Kaitlin’s shoulder before turning toward the screen door. “After they go home, you and I are going to have a heart-to-heart. I’m too old to sit here stewing any longer. My imagination’s going off on all kinds of wild tangents. You’re going to tell me what the devil is going on whether you’ve sorted it out or not. Is that understood?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Kaitlin replied dejectedly. “You’re not going to want to hear it, but I know you’ll yank it out of me anyway.”

  “You’re damn right I will. Now get inside and eat your supper. I didn’t sweat over that stove like a June bride in a feather bed all afternoon for you to go hungry.”

  “Yes, Gran.”

  Kaitlin clenched her teeth as she sat back down in the chair next to Sky. He didn’t even look at her…didn’t acknowledge her existence. Gran scowled and nodded at Kaitlin’s plate. She felt more like a child with each passing second.

  The table remained silent, but the lull wasn’t due to the good food. No, this was an uncomfortable silence, courtesy of Kaitlin’s inability to get her shit together.

  “Daddy? Are you mad?” Nina asked. Her big brown eyes were filled with worry.

  “Not at you, muffin,” Sky assured, pausing long enough to answer his daughter before shoving another load of food in his mouth.

  Brooke cleared her throat. “So, Katie, how long do you plan to stay?”

  Sky dropped his fork on the china plate with a c
latter. Wiping his mouth with a sharp sweep of his napkin, Sky tossed the crumpled paper to his plate. Without a word, he snapped his head in her direction. His lips pulled in a tight, angry line.

  “I—I’m not sure,” she stammered as Sky’s malevolent stare burrowed in deeper. “I plan to stay as long as I can…to get a break from work. I’ve been under a bit of stress… Well, you know that after my embarrassing episode at the bank.”

  Kaitlin made the mistake of glancing at Sky. His brows were arched, and one side of his mouth kicked up in a sarcastic grin. The expression he wore screamed: Keep digging the hole deeper…you’re not quite to China yet. Kaitlin realized that not only was she weaving a web of lies, she was talking too fast again. A peek at Gran, whose lips were pursed in contemplation, told Kaitlin she was toast. Even Brooke was shaking her head as if signaling for her to shut the hell up. But of course…she didn’t. Kaitlin inhaled another condemning breath and kept right on talking.

  “I mean Chicago is so different from Connor. Everything moves at such a fast pace it’s hard to keep up. I know that in the minute it takes me to blink, the opportunity to secure a new client, snag another ADDY, um…that’s a national award for advertising, will pass me by.”

  “I see.” Brooke smiled. Her eyes held a look of sorrow, but she quickly blinked it away. “How many of those awards have you won?”

  “Only four, but actually that’s a huge achievement for the agency being as new as it is.”

  “Your success sounds amazing, Katie. We couldn’t be prouder,” Sky stated with a brittle smile. His words dripped with contempt.

  His tone held the same condescending tenor as what Doug used. It propelled her back to the house in Barrington Hills. A wave of nausea rolled through her.

  “Yes, we’re very proud of the wonderful things you’ve accomplished, sweetheart,” Gran echoed with genuine loving praise.

  “Can we have ice cream now?” Nina asked in a soft voice, darting a hopeful glace at Brooke and Gran.

  Kaitlin couldn’t help but smile. Not only had the little tyke snagged unwanted attention off her, Nina knew whom to look at while finagling ice cream.

  “Let Miss Katie eat more of her dinner first, muffin,” Sky replied.

  The little girl raised her big dark eyes to Kaitlin. Her expression cried, hurry.

  She sent Nina a wink and a little smile and forced herself to take a bite of chicken. The prickly undercurrent in the room suddenly seemed to lessen. Well, until she swept a gaze over Sky, where the air around him seemed to palpitate with an angry throb.

  “Sky, would you like some more chicken?” Gran asked.

  “Oh, no thank you, Gran. Actually, I think it’s time for me to head home,” he announced, shoving the chair back with his body and bolting upright.

  “Don’t you want ice cream?” Nina asked with a frown.

  Gran’s telephone began to ring. Kaitlin bolted from her seat, willing to do most anything to avoid Sky’s angry departure. “I’ll get it,” she announced, hurrying across the room. Whoever was calling, their timing was perfect.

  “Hello,” Kaitlin answered.

  “I see you made it back to that shit-hole town in one piece,” Doug snarled hatefully.

  The sound of his voice nearly knocked Kaitlin on her ass.

  “What do you want?” she asked coldly.

  Kaitlin saw all eyes turn in her direction. Even Sky had stopped and turned by the doorway, staring at her like a bull ready to charge. Gran’s face hardened as Brooke motioned for Nina and quickly ushered the little girl out of the room.

  “To see if you had a good trip,” Doug replied in a familiar tone of controlled rage. Even over the phone, it scared her half to death.

  “It was…fine,” she responded without emotion. “Is that all you wanted, Doug?”

  Gran slowly rose from her chair and moved in close to Kaitlin, while Sky remained stiff, like a statue, by the door.

  “You left here upset. I was worried. I was upset, too, but…now that it’s over and done with, it’s time for you to come back home. I’m not going to apologize for what happened, Kaitlin. I won’t lower myself to be one of your spineless little yes-boys you direct at work. I did what needed to be done to keep Madeline Christopher a happy client and that’s all. The old bat has been trying to seduce me for years. She threatened to take her account to another agency. So, you see, I had no choice. But that’s all in the past now, so you can leave your precious granny and come home. You’ve proven your point, Kaitlin. Though I must say, you could have done that without pointing a gun to my head.”

  “I pointed a gun at your head to keep you from raping me again, Doug.”

  Kaitlin cringed and closed her eyes. Confirming Gran’s suspicions by blurting them out wasn’t how she’d intended to break the news. It was too late to try and candy coat it now.

  A noise of disgust came from Gran’s throat as she caressed a hand of support up and down Kaitlin’s back. When she dared to open her eyes, Sky’s nostrils flared and his jaw ticked. Even his eyes had turned a darker shade of ebony. It irked her that he’d stayed to listen to her conversation, but Kaitlin turned her anger and focus on Doug.

  “Did you hear me? You need to get your ass back here. Now,” Doug barked. “I’ll forgive you for the gun episode, and we can move forward.”

  “You’ll forgive me?” Kaitlin choked. “You’re fucking insane.”

  “Don’t call me that,” he screamed. “I’m not crazy.”

  Wanna bet? Once again, Doug was riding the delusional merry-go-round. She was glad he was over three hundred miles away.

  “You don’t honestly think I enjoyed fucking that nasty slut, do you?” he asked indignantly.

  “No. You prefer fucking hookers and snorting coke up your nose,” she hissed. “But then, you’d fuck anything willing to hold still long enough for you to stick your pathetic little dick into.”

  Obviously shocked at what she was hearing, Gran turned and plopped down on the nearest chair as Sky ate up the distance, reaching Kaitlin’s side in four long strides. He stood in front of her with a grim expression, unconsciously clenching and unclenching his fists. His anger didn’t frighten her in the least. Kaitlin knew he wanted to pulverize Doug, not her. A sense of security settled over her.

  “Why do you have to be such a bitch?” Doug spat before his tone tuned soft and cajoling in his usual seesawing mien of Jekyll and Hyde. “I only want you, sweetheart.”

  “You only want me for the money I’ve saved and the abuse you can inflict. You’re not getting either. I’m not coming back.”

  “Get your useless snatch back here this instant,” Doug screamed.

  She could hear him panting in rage. Even the thought of returning to Barrington Hills made her tremble.

  “You’re not listening to me. I’m not coming back,” she spat.

  “You have to, Kaitlin. I need you,” he implored. “We’ll get counseling…anything you want.”

  Kaitlin frowned. Bargaining and begging weren’t Doug’s usual M.O. It scared her even more, but she’d be damned if she’d let him hear it in her voice.

  “Counseling? You want to get counseling?” she asked incredulously.

  “Yes. If it will help us, I’ll do it.”

  Once again, Doug used a soft, loving voice meant to lure her in. Seething with anger at his blatant manipulation, Kaitlin paced back and forth.

  “But you’ve always said counselors were whack jobs who fantasized about fucking their mothers. Oh, my, wait. I think you missed your calling, Doug. You’d make a great shrink. You’re definitely a whack job, and Madeline Christopher is old enough to be your mother. You’ve got all the bases covered,” Kaitlin railed.

  “You hateful cunt. I already told you why I fucked her.”

  “Yes, to keep her as a client. But she’s not a client anymore now, is she, Doug? Victor Spellman called and threatened to sue the company for sexual harassment today.”

  “How do you know that?” Doug roared. “W
ho the fuck is spying on me?”

  Oh, great, now he’s leading the paranoia parade again.

  “Doug?” Kaitlin asked in an even and controlled voice.

  “Yes, darling?” he responded lovingly.

  “I have a restraining order against you.” Or she would in the morning. “Your lawyer will contact you soon about buying me out. If you have anything to say, say it through my lawyer, but don’t you ever call me again, you fucking bastard.”

  Kaitlin slammed down the phone but didn’t release the receiver. She couldn’t seem to pry her hand away as she stood shaking like a leaf. She felt Sky’s eyes on her. Turning toward him, she wanted to scream at him and make him leave. But she saw the anger leaping in his eyes, like fire. Kaitlin knew it was time to show him the unequivocal trust in her heart.

  The thought of never feeling his warm, strong arms or his soft lips press against hers was a far higher price to pay than her pride. Reaching down, Kaitlin clasped his fist in her hand. Prying open his fingers, she drew his palm to her mouth and kissed the center softly, then pressed his hand to her heart. His eyes flashed in understanding, then filled with tears before he quickly blinked them away. A solitary tear slid down her cheek, and Sky caught it with his fingertips.

  “Katie-girl, are you all right?” Gran asked, barely above a whisper.

  “I am now. Don’t worry. I’m not going to freak out and have another panic attack.” She cracked a watery smile. “Two in one day is my limit,” she assured, choking on a sob she quickly swallowed.

  Neither Sky nor Gran wore a hint of a smile at Kaitlin’s attempted humor.

  “Oh, baby,” her grandmother moaned.

  “I’m not worried about you having another panic attack,” Sky assured her. “I’m more concerned that you had to pull a gun on that bastard in order to escape him. How many times did he force—”

  “I should have pulled the damn trigger when I had the chance.” She cut him off to avoid answering his question.

  Nina’s laughter seeped into the kitchen from the other room, along with the sound of a children’s show on television. Kaitlin sent up a prayer of thanks for Brooke protecting the little girl from hearing her ugly conversation. After moving to the freezer, Kaitlin pulled out the ice cream, ignoring the quizzical expression on Sky’s face.