She had already stripped the bathroom of the tub surround and installed a walk-in tile shower, a new toilet, a new sink, and a double slipper tub. She still had work to do on the shelves for storage, but the room was usable. She picked up the drop cloths in the living room and stored the paint cans in the hall closet. That was as tidy as she could make the place in its current condition.
She checked her watch. She had just enough time to shower, change, and order the pizza before Andi was scheduled to arrive. It was exciting having someone visit her in her new house. It made her feel like she was officially home. She thought of her encounters with Andi, and a knot of worry began to form in her stomach. They hadn’t exchanged any personal information at all. She didn’t even have a way to contact Andi. What if she changed her mind and didn’t show?
Gwen frowned thoughtfully as she stepped into the shower. Andi was difficult to figure out. Gwen seemed to have a knack for saying the wrong thing to Andi, and she knew she needed to be careful if she wanted Andi to take her seriously. She couldn’t explain why she felt so compelled to be around Andi. Something about her just felt familiar, right somehow. Gwen’s insides twitched at the thought. She definitely wanted to know more about her. The moment she had laid eyes on Andi, lying in her front yard half-terrified of Zeek, Gwen had been stunned by her beauty. She had enjoyed the warmth of her hand and her tender soft skin in those first few moments before everything seemed to fall apart.
Gwen sighed. Then things had gone to hell. She could only hope tonight wouldn’t be a replay of their disastrous encounters. But Andi had seemed sincere about the dinner date. Gwen just hoped she hadn’t had a change of heart.
Gwen stuck her head under the shower spray, allowing the hot water to thrum against her skin. As she hurriedly rinsed, stepped out of the shower, and dried herself, she became increasingly anxious that Andi wouldn’t show up at all. The thought made her chest tighten with disappointment. She wanted to have the chance to see Andi again, a chance to show Andi she wasn’t who she thought she was. Gwen felt hollow and ached at the thought that she wasn’t good enough for Andi. Andi had as much as said so, and part of her believed it. But Andi wasn’t like any of the other women she had known. There was something special about her that made Gwen want to be better, made her want more than just a transient liaison or a convenient physical relationship. She hoped Andi felt the same. She couldn’t handle having her feelings thrown away again, the way Miranda had. Gwen needed to prove to Andi that she was worth taking a chance on. Perhaps then she could believe it herself.
She dressed and ordered the pizza, watching the clock anxiously. Andi would be arriving soon. Gwen looked around the room one last time. She felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff, unable to see what lay before her. When the doorbell rang, she jumped. Although she had anticipated the sound, it startled her and her nerves frayed with insecurity. She took a deep breath to calm herself.
Ready or not, she took a tentative step forward and opened the door.
*
Andi paced the floor of her living room, her keys gripped firmly in her hand. Her stomach ached as it tied and retied itself in knots. The hair at the base of her neck was damp with perspiration. She looked at her watch and considered not going to Gwen’s, but she couldn’t allow herself to just not show. How had she gotten herself into this? Not only had she agreed to a friendly social dinner, something she never did, but she would be spending the evening with a woman who seemed to ignite feelings and yearnings she couldn’t afford to entertain. Despite all her attempts to push Gwen out of her life, out of her mind, she longed for the promise she saw in the way Gwen looked at her. It was a promise she dreamed of but couldn’t keep.
Her cat, Goliath, lay in his spot on the sofa, eyeing her quizzically. His tail twitched irritably each time she passed. Suddenly he reached out a paw and snagged her shorts with his claw. She stopped.
“Sorry, boy, I’m getting on my nerves too.”
The cat blinked up at her. When she reached down and rubbed his ears, he began to purr, making her feel better. She blew out a long breath, feeling somewhat calmer, picked up the small cooler she had packed earlier, and went out the door.
As Andi pulled into Gwen’s drive, Gwen was standing on the front porch, paying the pizza-delivery guy. Gwen looked up with a bright smile and waved to Andi, motioning for her to come inside. Andi was simultaneously scared to death and exhilarated at the sight of Gwen. She tried to pull herself together and reminded herself this was only dinner. She had nothing to be worried about.
Gwen waited for her at the door. “Thank you for coming. I was afraid you might change your mind.”
“I almost did,” Andi said honestly. She wondered if her voice sounded as shaky to Gwen as she thought it did. Her heart had started pounding in her chest the moment she pulled into the drive. No matter how much she tried to tell herself she wasn’t interested in Gwen Palmer, her body told her differently.
Gwen stopped and looked at Andi for a moment to see if she was serious. Nothing in Andi expression indicated she was joking, but her eyes were kind, although slightly fearful, and Gwen noticed the subtle tension as Andi stood not quite facing her, and how she dropped her gaze when Gwen tried to meet her eyes. Andi seemed so vulnerable. Gwen had the urge to reach out and touch Andi but thought better of it. That would surely send Andi running.
“I can’t say I blame you. I mean, we don’t really know each other, and I’ve been a little pushy. But I promise I’m completely harmless,” Gwen teased.
This seemed to ease some of the tension from Andi’s shoulders, and she glanced nervously at Gwen.
“It’s nothing personal. I just don’t want you to get the wrong idea about this.”
Gwen shrugged. “Like I said before, it’s just dinner with a new friend.” She didn’t really want to believe that, but the frightened look in Andi’s eyes had surprised her. The thought of Andi being afraid of her was even harder to take than Andi thinking she was trying to play her.
They walked into the kitchen together. Gwen placed the pizza on the makeshift counter, and Andi opened the cooler to retrieve a couple of beers.
“The house looks wonderful.”
“Thank you.”
“Where did you learn to do this kind of work?” Andi asked, handing Gwen a beer.
Gwen reached out for the beer and felt the tips of their fingers brush lightly as their eyes met. She caught a fleeting look of need ghost across Andi’s face before she masked the expression and pulled away. Some of Gwen’s own fear subsided, but she could still feel the uncertainty in Andi’s posture that gave away her vulnerability.
Gwen tried to act nonchalant even though her stomach clenched as her body reacted to the touch. Realizing she hadn’t answered Andi’s question, she cleared her throat and stepped away. “I worked with a small construction company when I was in college. It was hard work, but the pay was good and it allowed me to work with my hands. I found that I really enjoy it. I spent a couple of years at a local community college getting the basics, and after I managed to save enough money, I transferred to Montana State University and finished my degree in environmental biology. I worked for a few years after that, and then got my master’s in environmental engineering and went to work.”
“Wow. That sounds like an interesting field. What brings you to Tennessee?”
Andi sounded genuinely interested, and Gwen couldn’t help but want to tell Andi everything about herself. “It’s hard to explain, but mostly I wanted a change. I needed a fresh start. I felt like I settled for the first job that came along and I became complacent in my life. My family was in Chicago, but if I’d been honest with myself, the job wasn’t really what I wanted. Things weren’t working out in my personal life, and company cutbacks solved the problem for me. I found myself single after foolishly thinking I was in love with someone who didn’t feel the same way about me, and unemployed because the affair created a conflict with my job. After so many bad choices, it seemed the
perfect time for a fresh start, and I wanted to see what I was missing in the big wide world. I managed to land a job here so it seemed like a good place to start.”
Gwen hoped Andi wouldn’t ask her more about her personal life. She didn’t want to have to explain that she had an affair with her boss’s wife, and when things got sticky, she had been terminated from her position.
Laughing softly, Andi looked at Gwen. “So you chose to run away to a small, secluded town in East Tennessee?”
Gwen smiled. “I guess it does seem a bit odd, but I was tired of the city. I wanted to have a chance to walk outside my door and not have car alarms, sirens, and all the other chaos going on around me.” She casually glanced at Andi as she talked, noticing how Andi was beginning to relax. More of the tension in her shoulders had eased, and she faced Gwen when she was talking now. That was progress.
“What do you think of the area so far?”
“I love it here. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a town quite like it. It’s beautiful and I can’t believe how friendly everyone has been. To be honest, the first day I thought I had moved into a retirement community. Everyone I met was at least sixty-five—until I met you of course.”
Andi met her gaze and Gwen warmed. Other than a few close friends from college and Peter from work, she didn’t usually disclose so much about herself to anyone. And most of the women she had dated weren’t really into getting to know her beyond the bedroom. The easy conversation with Andi was refreshing.
“Enough about me. It’s your turn now,” Gwen said. “Tell me about you. Have you always lived in Norris?”
Andi looked out over the yard and toyed with the label on her beer. “No. I moved here from Chattanooga around three years ago. I was drawn to the simple, quiet life.” Andi shifted in her chair, and Gwen thought she seemed uncomfortable with the question.
“Once I opened the store, I became very invested in the people here. As you noticed, there are a lot of elderly people, and many live alone. It’s nice to be able to help them keep their four-legged companions, when they can no longer get out and do things for themselves. It’s simple work, but very rewarding.”
Gwen liked the sound of Andi’s voice and wanted her to keep talking. “What made you decide to open a pet-supply store?”
Andi laughed. “That was easy. For the first few months after I moved here, it seemed I met all the neighborhood pets before I met their owners. And it seemed everyone had a pet. I knew most of the dogs in town by name, but not their owners. People became Cookie’s mother, or Fido’s dad. A supply store just seemed to make sense.”
Gwen leaned forward in her chair, resting her elbows on her knees. “I guess Zeek fits right in then.”
Andi chuckled, the smooth and lilting tone resonating in her chest in a way that made Gwen want to place her hand there and feel the tremors with her fingers.
“Yes, she certainly does.”
Both women laughed hard as Gwen recalled the look on Andi’s face the day Zeek had plowed her over. “You looked like you weren’t sure if she was going to eat you or lick you to death.”
“Actually, I was trying to figure out why a bear would be chasing a squirrel.”
Andi laughed even harder now, and wiped tears from her eyes. She liked to laugh and hadn’t done it enough lately. And she liked Gwen’s laugh. It was the kind of rich, deep laugh that resonated from inside and filled the room with warmth and comfort. And Andi found it refreshing. She realized with every passing moment how much she had missed the companionship of a friend. And Gwen had been true to her word. She hadn’t made any overtures toward her since she arrived. Gwen seemed more grounded than Andi had expected, and she found herself warming to her a little more.
Realizing there was something missing in the evening she looked around and asked, “Where is Zeek?”
“Oh, she’s sulking.”
Andi was confused and intrigued.
As if reading her mind, Gwen answered. “She had a bath earlier and has decided to punish me by refusing to come out of the bedroom. She does that sometimes. I think she does it so I’ll have to sleep with the smell of wet dog all night.”
Andi thought of the giant dog, soggy and wet, with her giant head lying on Gwen’s pillow.
“Honestly, I’m surprised she hasn’t come out to investigate. She must really be angry with me. It could be she didn’t like the flea treatment. That’s always an added insult.”
“Has she ever had any problems with the medication before?” Andi was a little nervous. Some dogs did have a reaction to the medication, and she wanted to see if Zeek was okay, but she didn’t want to act like she didn’t trust Gwen’s judgment.
“No, don’t worry. She just likes to punish me. But if it’ll make you feel better, I can go check on her.”
“That’s okay. I’m sure you’re right.”
The sound of padded feet and toenails on the wood floor got Andi’s attention, and she looked through the open french doors to see Zeek standing in the kitchen, appraising her.
Gwen shook her head, grinning. “She must have heard her name and had to see who was talking about her.”
“Hey, Zeek. How are you doing, girl?” Andi said, relieved to see the giant dog.
Zeek’s ears perked up, and she came sauntering out onto the deck, doing her best John Wayne impression, which was quite cute on a dog. She gave Gwen a cursory glance before laying her giant head in Andi’s lap with a moan.
“Guess I’m still in the doghouse,” Gwen said, sounding amused.
Andi rubbed Zeek’s ears. “You smell good, Zeek. No bugs on you.”
The dog moaned again and Andi wasn’t sure if that was exasperation or pleasure.
Night had fallen, and the stars blanketed the sky like diamonds. The cool night air was a welcome reprieve from the heat of the day. It was a perfect evening. Andi couldn’t remember the last time she had enjoyed talking and listening to another person the way she had with Gwen. She knew most of the locals, but only in a superficial, neighborly kind of way. This seemed personal, like she was looking into a page of Gwen’s life, and the feeling made her want to know more. The thought unsettled her.
“Thank you for having me over tonight. I’ve really enjoyed the company,” Andi said, thinking it was time for her to go.
“I should be thanking you. I love working on the house, but I guess I’ve been a little lonely. It’s good not to eat alone. And I wanted to make up for my earlier behavior. I’m afraid I gave the impression of being a bit too eager when I asked you out. But I could really use a friend. I really wanted to get to know you, and tonight was perfect.”
Andi regarded Gwen for a moment, very aware of how tender her voice was. Gwen wasn’t at all what she had expected. She had convinced herself Gwen was cocky and looking for a fast hookup, but tonight Gwen had been different. She was confident and self-assured, but not arrogant. She seemed warm and open and something about her made Andi feel safe. She watched Gwen’s smooth gestures as she lifted the beer to her lips and took a drink. Andi stared at a bead of the golden liquid clinging to her lips and watched as her lips parted and her tongue moved across the surface to wick away the moisture.
“I’ve enjoyed it,” she said, realizing it was true. “I should be going though—Zeek here is looking a bit tired.”
“Are you sure? I think there’s another beer left, if you’d like to stay a while longer.”
Andi hesitated, hearing only sincerity in Gwen’s voice. “I appreciate it, but I should call it a night. I’m already over my two-beer limit.” Andi lifted Zeek’s head and pushed back her chair as she stood. “It really was a nice night. Thank you.”
Gwen followed Andi through the house and out to her Jeep. “Are you okay to drive?”
Andi turned to face Gwen, her hand resting on the top of the small half door of the Jeep. She looked up the street and considered her options.
“Well, I could walk home, but then I’d have to retrieve my Jeep tomorrow, and the neighbors w
ould have a scandal brewing by morning. Or I can just take it easy. I only live one mile from here, and I’m sure I’m okay to drive. I only had three beers in”—Andi looked at her watch—“oh my goodness, four hours,” she said, surprised by the time. “How did it get so late?”
Gwen was still smiling at her. “Well, if you’re sure you’re okay.” She placed her hand over Andi’s for a brief moment, her fingers brushing across Andi’s skin, a featherlight touch that made Andi shudder. Andi’s eyes drifted to Gwen’s lips, which were slightly parted, and she imagined how they would taste.
“I promise I’m okay,” Andi said, drawing her hand away. “Thank you again for dinner.”
“You’re welcome. Have a good night,” Gwen said, taking a step back from the Jeep.
*
Andi could barely make out Gwen’s silhouette standing at the end of the drive as she looked back through her rearview mirror. But she could tell Gwen was watching her drive away. She rubbed her fingertips across the back of her hand, savoring the feel of Gwen’s touch against her skin. It had only been a moment, but she had trembled at the connection. She had felt the heat melt into her own skin, and she realized they had touched only twice the entire night. Gwen had more than kept to her promise—dinner, friendly conversation—and regret needled at Andi. A gentle prick had started at the back of her mind, and something within her knew she would continue to crave Gwen’s closeness.
What am I doing? Andi sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She was confused. Her life was too complicated to even entertain thoughts of Gwen, but here she was, letting fantasies and images flood her mind. She had known better than to come tonight, but she didn’t know how to keep pushing Gwen away.
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