Tanner looked away and focused on something outside the window. “Maybe.”
Brit’s throat tightened. He’d never be free. Not unless he dropped his cousin, leaving him to his problems. That was one thing Brit didn’t know if he could ever do. After all, blood was blood, and Brit didn’t have anyone else. Not really.
Army had no idea how long he sat in silence, staring at nothing once Brit was gone. He was wiped clean. There was no other way to describe the devastation Brit had wreaked on his life. He’d like to think hindsight was twenty-twenty, but Army had been damnably clear minded in his dealings with Brit. Brit had shown up, offering him money for a place to stay. Army had thought every day he should make Brit explain why he needed a place to hide. He hadn’t. It had been an intentional move on his part. Army hadn’t wanted to learn a single damn thing about Brit that might risk the man leaving a single second sooner than necessary. Ignorance was bliss, and he’d been ecstatic in the dark.
Army’s legs ached as he came to his feet—like losing Brit was the world’s worst case of the flu. His gaze moved over the room. His home didn’t look like his any longer. It was theirs. Over the course of four months, Brit had replaced damn near every stick of furniture. He shouldn’t have let that go on. He focused on the flat screen hanging on the wall. A snort escaped him. Since Brit came to stay, he hadn’t watched a single episode of Vamps in Space—not a new airing or a rerun. Maybe he’d been content to have the real man in his bed, as Tanner claimed. Or, perhaps—subconsciously—he’d known Brit wasn’t Tanner.
He moved to the kitchen with no real plan. His feet ushered an empty shell. There was nothing left of Army. Army froze, holding the handle of the fridge, unsure of why he even stood there. His gaze landed on a row of tiny red hearts drawn in the margin of a letter held by a magnet on the freezer door. He couldn’t breathe. His eyes burned with unshed tears. He’d been conned. Brit had stolen his heart with pretty words and lies. Even the man’s Valentine’s Day letter looked different in the light of Brit’s deception. How could one person be so cruel? Some of the numbness lifted, replaced by rage. He’d opened his home to Brit—loved him. A burst of anger-fueled insanity overcame Army. In one swipe, he cleared the kitchen counter, taking out several dishes and the microwave. It hung from the edge of the counter by the cord still plugged into the wall. Army’s chest heaved as he stared at the mess. It wasn’t enough to squelch the rage—nowhere near enough. He wanted to set fire to the house and watch it burn. Army hated every inch of the space he shared with Brit. Most of all, he hated himself for trusting Brit not to break him like this. Now there was nothing left for him, and there never would be. His mom had been right all along. He was a mistake no one would ever love.
Chapter 6
Brit: I’m in Canton. If you can make it, I’ve left you a gold pass at will call.
555-6798: This is Tanner. Would you please come see Brit in Canton? All of this is my fault. Please don’t let all my shortcomings ruin what the two of you have.
Brit: Canton might’ve been too far. I’m in Atlanta this weekend. I left a gold pass at will call.
Brit: Okay. So, you’re ignoring me still. Here’s a list of all Tanner’s upcoming appearances. I’ll always leave you a pass. All you have to do is show up. Please?
Tanner: Seriously, our next show is literally a two-hour drive from you. I’m sick of watching Brit mope. He never would’ve lied to you if I hadn’t made him lie to everyone. I’m the piece of shit. He’s every bit as amazing as I’m sure he showed himself to be. Don’t lose this because of me, please? I know you don’t want anything to do with me, but it’s not easy being the person who fucks up everything either.
“Army.”
Army turned at the sound of his name. “Jaylah. Wow. What a small world.”
She shrugged. “Maybe not so much in the convention world.”
“That’s true,” he agreed. Discomfort replaced his burst of happiness over seeing a familiar face.
Jaylah didn’t seem to suffer the same. “Are you here stalking Tanner? I am,” she added, not giving Army time to answer. She snagged his arm and dragged him along. “Come on. His line is over here.”
Army tripped over his feet trying to keep up. For a short girl in stacked boots, she could move when properly motivated.
Once they had their spot in line, she turned on him. “You never tracked me down to let me know what happened with Tanner at the last convention. Spill.”
Army shrugged. His discomfort doubled. “Nothing happened. Someone who works for him met me to retrieve the jacket. We never spoke.” It wasn’t a total lie. Tanner hadn’t shown up until much later.
Jaylah visibly deflated. “Dude, that sucks.”
“It’s not a big deal,” Army said, waving off her words. “I tried hunting you down afterward, but I couldn’t find you in the crowd, and I had to work the next day.” Lies rolled easily from Army’s tongue. He hadn’t known he had it in him. Maybe he should be acting too, or Brit had rubbed off on him.
“Obviously, him not showing up hasn’t ruined your love of the show.”
A smile that felt fake, even to Army, stretched his lips. “Of course not. To be honest, I didn’t expect him to show.”
Jaylah made a noise that could’ve meant anything at all. She eyed the line, going up on her toes. “How long do you think we’ll have to wait this time?”
Army hoped they never made it. He didn’t know what to say or do. In fact, he didn’t know why he’d shown. That wasn’t true. He needed answers, and he had things to say. All those unspoken words were trapped inside his head, making him insane. Army counted the people ahead of them. “Maybe twenty minutes,” he guessed. Unlike last time, he didn’t continually glance Brit’s way. He couldn’t. If they made eye contact, he might lose his nerve and run.
“I went to the show in Canton,” Jaylah said, keeping Army from bolting. “The lines there were awful. Probably because Tanner has been in rehab and it was his first show back. Anyhow, I had to wait like two hours to get an autograph, and you’ll never guess who I ran into.”
Army’s brain hiccupped. “Rehab? When was this?”
Jaylah stared at him as if they’d never met. “Do you live under a rock? It’s been on all the gossip talk shows and some of the major networks as well.”
“I’ve been busy at work, and...” Army couldn’t think of a good lie. “Anyway, Tell me.”
Jaylah perked up, obviously delighted to be the first to tell someone who hadn’t heard, and dropped her goth act. “It was right after the show where we met. He was supposed to announce his new role in some ninja or samurai movie. Whatever. Anyhow, supposedly, he flipped out in his room and did like thousands in damage, smashing furniture and shit.” She paused and stared at him as if seeing nothing. “Come to think of it,” Jaylah said suddenly. “Maybe it’s a good thing he didn’t show to meet you. Can you imagine?”
“No,” Army lied through numb lips. “What happened after he trashed the room?”
Jaylah shrugged. “He paid off the hotel and agreed to go into rehab.”
The line moved, and Army shuffled forward along with it while staring at nothing. So, the real Tanner was an addict. If Brit had been covering for him, it would make sense he’d need a place to stay out of sight until Tanner finished rehab. Army puffed out his cheeks and blew out a breath. He didn’t know what to do or think. As much as he wanted to be angry with Brit, Army understood covering an addict’s ass. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d lied and done things he’d never thought himself capable of to hide his mom’s problem.
“Oh,” Jaylah said, smacking his arm. “I forgot to tell you who I saw in Canton. Jay.”
Army tried hard to seem interested. “The herpie-ridden ex?”
“The one and only. You’ll never guess who he was with.”
“The herpie-ridden ex best friend,” Army guessed.
“Yep,” Jaylah said, scowling. “Conventions were our thing. Boyfriend-stealing bitch.”
Despite everything, Army caught himself smiling. “I’d tell you to go after her ex, the mage or whatever, but we’ve already decided he’s probably the founder of the STD issue.”
Jaylah hugged her autograph book to her chest. “I hate men. Not you, of course,” she clarified. “You’re gay, so you don’t count.”
Army hummed, unsure of how to take that. “Are giving up on the hetero life, then?” Army had to keep some form of conversation going. He was about two seconds away from shaking to the point he was seasick. Even though Brit had left him a ticket, that didn’t mean they were okay. Jesus, he was a mess.
“I’m not sure,” Jaylah answered, sounding thoughtful.
“Maybe you should wait a little longer before switching teams,” Army offered. “That guy over there hasn’t stopped staring at you since we got in line.”
Jaylah glanced in the direction Army motioned. “Damn. He’s got that needs-someone-to-save-him vibe I love. My luck he’s looking at you, though.”
Army glanced the guy’s way. He was tall and wiry. The guy didn’t look like he matched with Jaylah at all, but someone should be happy. Army didn’t know if he ever would be again. “Nope. He’s straight.”
“How do you—” The line moved, cutting off Jaylah’s question. “Oh my god. We’re next. I’m definitely asking for a hug this time.”
“You should,” Army said, staying loyal despite the sudden urge to puke. No matter how hard he tried, Army couldn’t stop staring at his shoes. They’d cost him around fifty dollars on sale. Brit paid more than ten thousand for a pair of boots. What in the hell was Army doing here? They didn’t match. Suddenly, he was at the edge of the table, and there was nowhere to run.
“Damn. You’re hot.”
Army’s head jerked up at the words. Blue eyes waited for him. It was Tanner. The real Tanner. Army’s brain couldn’t reconcile what his eyes showed him when he’d been waiting to see Brit. “It’s crowded,” Army said, idiocy setting in. “Too much body heat.”
Tanner chuckled. It was sexy. Army wasn’t immune. “I meant you, Army. You’re incredibly sexy.”
“Jaylah wants a hug,” Army said, pushing her forward and selling out his friend without shame.
Tanner’s gaze shifted Jaylah’s way. He became the movie star. “Is that so?” Tanner came to his feet. “Hand your phone to Army, and he’ll take our picture.”
Jaylah shoved her phone Army’s way.
Tanner’s personal assistant and handler, a woman with tired brown eyes and an unfriendly demeanor, tried interceding. “Tanner, everyone will want pictures with you if you start. You need to get through the rest of this line before the next panel.”
Tanner waved off her concerns. “I won’t do any more after this one. Army is a friend.” He winked.
A hint of bitterness wormed its way into Army’s heart. Tanner was all charm. His bullshit had broken Army’s heart. Maybe it had been Brit’s lies, but he’d lied because of Tanner’s bullshit. Army snapped three pictures, uncaring of how they turned out. He’d shown up for Brit. Damn, he was tired of wasting his time.
Tanner hugged Jaylah one last time before sending her away squealing, all pretense of goth-hood gone. The lanky redhead stole his chance to meet her, gushing over the pictures Army had taken. Tanner shrugged off his leather coat and held it out to Army. When Army didn’t reach for it, Tanner leaned in and spoke close to Army’s ear. “Take it. There’s a room key in the inside pocket. You showed up. Go see him.”
Army accepted the coat.
Tanner didn’t release it right away. Their gazes met. “I’m sorry.”
Army’s throat swelled. Tanner meant it, but Army wasn’t sure the man’s apology changed a damn thing. He dipped his chin and Tanner released the jacket.
Tanner took a step back. “It was good seeing you again, Army.” He reclaimed his seat and went back to charming the crowd.
Army tried hard not to look at anyone. He ducked his head and headed for the door, hoping he could get away before Jaylah spotted him. As he power-walked toward the lobby, Army dug through the inside pocket until he found the key card. It was still inside the envelope the hotel handed out with the room number handwritten on the outside. 335. Army turned the card over in his hand. He could turn around and march back to Tanner, giving up the jacket and key. There was no law that said he had to see Brit ever again. One thought stopped him from walking away—Tanner had given him his coat. Just as Brit had done the day they’d met. The only way Tanner could’ve known that was if Brit had told him the story—like Army was special. He to know. Before he could change his mind, Army headed for the elevator. It was too late to walk away now. He had to know.
Hotel after hotel, they all felt the same—like he’d never have a home again. He should’ve gone home when Tanner agreed to return to playing at his own life, but Brit couldn’t leave without seeing Army first. There were three more stops on this year’s convention tour. If Army didn’t show, Brit would have to face the truth. They were over. Army would never forgive him. Too many times to count, he’d taken out his phone and thought to call Army. Force him to talk. Beg for forgiveness. The thing was, he really needed to do that face to face, and he wouldn’t force his presence on the man again.
Today, he was twice as restless than usual. Stress wasn’t good for him. He hoped he didn’t end up bedridden with a migraine before the end of the day. He tried concentrating on his breathing and doing all the things he’d been taught to avoid triggering a headache. Brit couldn’t focus. He wanted to tear off his skin.
“Do I need to hunt down a set of ear plugs and an eye mask?”
Brit spun at the unexpected question. Army stood, holding Tanner’s jacket and looking unsure of his welcome. The desire to tackle the man to the floor and refuse to let him leave nearly crippled Brit. He ate up the vision of Army. Even his eyes missed the man. He tried tempering his voice.
“I’ve taken to traveling with those items, just in case.”
Concern etched Army’s features. He set Tanner’s coat on the chair beside the door. “Are you in pain?”
Brit swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Yes.” His answer came out in a scratchy whisper. He’d never hurt more in his life, but it had nothing to do with his head.
Army’s gaze moved over Brit’s face. “What do you need me to do?”
“Tell me I’m not the only one gutted,” Brit said before he could stop himself. “Tell me I haven’t lost every chance of having you love me, because I let Tanner completely muck up my life.” Brit took a step toward Army.
Army didn’t back away, but his expression gave nothing away. “Do you want me to still love you?”
“I’m not sure it matters,” Brit answered honestly. “It won’t change the fact that I love you enough for both of us.”
Army’s eyes fell closed for a moment, as if Brit’s words physically hurt. When his eyes reopened, he looked crushed. “You’re a complete stranger to me.”
Brit felt the blow of Army’s claim like a sledgehammer. He didn’t understand how he could be so intimate with Army, and Army feel like they’d never met. He couldn’t find the words to respond. Army had stolen his voice.
Army moved Tanner’s jacket to the arm of the chair and sat. He focused on Brit. “I never asked any questions about your life because I thought I knew. How can you love someone who never bothered to learn anything about you?”
Brit moved to the couch across from him and sat. Army didn’t sound like a man who no longer cared. As long as Army stayed and kept talking, there was hope. “I would’ve been forced to lie, so I’m glad you didn’t ask.”
“What about now?” Army shot back.
“Ask anything you want. I promise to be honest.”
Army cast a quick glance around the room, as if searching for a place to start, before meeting Brit’s gaze again. “When is your birthday? What’s your favorite color? Do you even like Vamps in Space?”
“February second. My favorite color chan
ges with my mood. I think people are more critical of things when they know someone involved personally. Like, if your friend writes a book, or your cousin plays a vampire on TV. I have a hard time connecting with Vamps in Space because all I see is the boy I grew up with, pretending to be someone else.”
Army’s expression turned pained. “You were staying with me on your birthday, and I didn’t even know it. Do you know how much it breaks me, knowing your birthday was stolen from you, because you were playing at being someone else?”
Brit shook his head, fighting back his emotions. “It wasn’t stolen from me. You made every day special, but on February second, you took off work and stayed home with me. We cuddled on the couch and watched that web series you’d read about. Afterward, you set your laptop aside and kissed me. For the longest time, you held me and switched between kissing me and talking about nothing at all. It was the best day I’d had in as long as I can remember. If you’d known it was my birthday, I still wouldn’t have wanted anything different.”
Army sat forward and set his elbows on his knees. His blue t-shirt made his eyes stand out even more than usual. His glasses couldn’t hide their beauty. “I don’t understand the paying off my car and ten-thousand-dollar boots. Is that just part of playing Tanner?”
A small smile tugged at Brit’s lips. “Just because I’m not really Tanner Murray doesn’t mean I’m no one. I’ve never spent a dime of Tanner’s money.”
Army’s expression still didn’t change. “What about the rest of the people from the show? They had to know you’re not Tanner.”
Conned Page 8