“Oh, I’m so glad to see that you’ve enjoyed the food. I think it’s great when a couple can share similar tastes. Sometimes opposites just cause chaos in a relationship, don’t you think?” She looked into my eyes.
“I suppose.” I stammered over my reply, shocked by the question. “I think it depends on the couple. Some people make opposites work. But it is nice to have a lot in common.”
“Do you ever worry that you might not have as much in common as you think? Like maybe the other person is just trying to appease you?” She tilted her head to the side.
It was as if she’d read an entire page of my journal. I was tempted to call her on it and demand that she return it. But Max’s eyes were on me, and I didn’t want him to know about the journal in the first place.
“I think everyone worries about that.” I nodded at her.
She walked away with the dishes.
I looked across the table at Max. “That’s being friendly?”
“Sammy, I think you’re reading too much into it. She’s just trying to be nice.”
“Nice is one thing, but commenting on things like that just feels intrusive.”
“We’re in a different country—a different culture.”
“You’re right.” I laughed and shook my head. “I’m sorry. I’m being silly. I guess I’m just a little wound up today.”
“What’s going on with you?” He sat back in his chair. “Does something have you nervous?”
I stared at him for a long moment. Could he really be that in tune with me that he knew I was nervous about losing the journal, or was I just being quite obvious?
Luckily, before I could answer, the waitress returned with our check.
“It was great to serve you two. You know, I don’t say this to many people, but you are just a great couple. I hope that one day I’ll be able to find someone to love, the way that you two love one another.”
My heart melted at her words. The entire meal I’d been judging, while she’d been admiring.
“I’m so sure that you will. You’ll know it when it’s right.”
“Thanks so much. That means a lot coming from you.” She cringed and looked toward the bar, then back to me. “I could really get into a lot of trouble for this, but I just can’t resist. Do you think you could sign my book for me?”
My eyes widened. “I’m sorry? I’m not sure I understand.”
“I know who you are.” She grinned. “It’s okay if you don’t want to sign it. I probably shouldn’t have asked.”
“Of course I’ll sign your book for you. It’s always an honor to meet one of my readers.”
“I can’t wait for the next book. There will be another one, right?”
“Oh yes, I hope so.” I laughed. She pulled a paperback copy of Becoming Zara out of her apron.
“Thanks so much for this. When I heard that you were going to be in Dublin I brought it to work with me—just in case you stopped in. Does that make me an obsessed fan?”
“Not at all. It just means you’re dedicated and going for what you want. Are you coming to the book signing?”
“I wasn’t able to get a ticket.” She frowned.
“Here.” I pulled out my business card and jotted down a note on the back of it. “Just hand this to whoever is at the door and you’ll be able to get in. If you have any trouble just call the number on the card. Okay?”
“Really? Wow! Thanks so much. I can’t wait.”
I smiled as I signed her book, then handed it back to her. “I look forward to seeing you again. Thanks for the great service.”
I breathed a sigh of relief as I realized that the reason she knew about some of my personal business was because she likely followed my blog and had definitely read the book. It was pretty easy to make assumptions, and I mentally kicked myself for being so quick to judge.
Max escorted me out the door with a playful smile on his lips. “So I guess she was nice after all?”
“Very.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “I’m a little off kilter, that’s for sure.”
“Off kilter? I haven’t heard that expression in a while.”
“I must have kilts on my mind.”
“Oh, really?” He grabbed my hand and pulled me down the street toward another shop. “Then maybe we should go in here?”
“What is this place?”
He whisked me inside before I could get a look at the sign.
Chapter 11
Inside the shop it was quite dark and smoky.
“Is this place on fire or something? Why are we here?” As soon as the words left my mouth music started pounding. I jumped at the sound and grabbed Max’s hand. “Max?”
“Shh. I think you’re going to like it.”
He led me through the smoke and I discovered three muscular men in kilts. Max handed a man behind a podium some money.
“Max, please tell me what’s going on.”
“Just wait.” He grinned.
The men in front of me began to dance. As they danced, they began to loosen their kilts.
“Max no!” I turned my face to his chest. “I can’t watch this—not with you here.”
“No?” He frowned. “I thought you wanted to have more fun?”
“Not like this! Not unless it’s you in the kilt.”
“I thought you’d never ask.” He laughed as he joined the men in front of me.
The man behind the podium flung a kilt at him and Max wrapped it around his waist. He began to dance in time with the other three men. I couldn’t help but laugh, even as I tried to ignore the heat in my cheeks and the sultry way Max flexed his hips. As the music ended and the other three men retreated, Max started to unfasten the kilt.
“Oh, no way. That’s coming with us. How much?” I flashed my wallet at the man behind the podium.
“I’m not wearing it on the street, though!” Max pulled it off and folded it up.
I paid for the kilt and we made our way back through the smoke.
“So? Was that fun and inventive?” He grinned, clearly pleased with himself.
“It was very fun—and unexpected.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
I wrapped my arm around his and looked up into his eyes. “You never fail to surprise me, Max.”
“The feeling is mutual, my love.” He kissed my forehead. “I just want you to have a great time.”
As we headed back toward the hotel I noticed a street vendor with some nice trinkets for sale.
“Let’s stop here. I want to pick up a few more things.”
I sorted through what was available and soon found a nice necklace, an assortment of magnets, and some items with Ireland’s flag.
As I paid the vendor, he tipped his hat at me.
“Thanks, lass, I’m sure there’s other things you could spend your money on.”
“All of this is worth it.”
“Remember that. Things don’t have to be perfect to be priceless.” He winked at me.
The words reminded me of something I’d written in my journal about feeling the need to be perfect for Max. Had the man read my words?
“What do you mean by that, sir?”
“Oh, nothing much, I just try to hand out pearls of wisdom to all of my customers. That’s a good one, aye?”
“Sure is.” I smiled. “Thank you.” I shook my head as I realized I was still being quite paranoid. Maybe a little down time at the hotel would help me to clear my mind.
When we arrived at the hotel there was a crowd in the lobby.
“I’m going to check on our arrangements for our travel tomorrow. I’ll be right up, okay?” Max kissed my cheek and handed me the bags.
“You really want to wait through all this? We can always confirm in the morning.”
“In the morning it might be too late to make changes. I don’t want anything to go wrong. It’ll just take a few minutes, I’m sure.”
“Okay.” I hugged him, then walked over to the elevator.
Max was always taking care of things and I appreciated that, as my tendency toward procrastination had led to some frustrating experiences. On the way up to the hotel room I thought about the journal again. If it was gone, it was gone. Maybe I was never meant to write in it. I could have been talking to Max instead of spending all my time hiding my thoughts and emotions between pieces of paper.
I stepped off the elevator and walked down the hall to the hotel room. When I stopped in front of the door I found an envelope taped there. It was addressed to me so I pulled it off to take a look. Inside was a short note.
Thank you for your kind words. They made a difference, and I was given a raise. Please consider me a friend any time you visit Ireland.
When I read the signature I smiled. It was from the man at the umbrella shop.
With renewed determination to make my visit to Ireland a great one, I stepped into our room.
Once inside I kicked off my shoes, tossed down my bag, and flopped right down on the bed. As I sprawled out for what I hoped would be a relaxing nap, my hand slid under my pillow. It bumped into something hard. It felt like a book.
“My journal!” I pulled it out and stared with disbelief. Had it been under my pillow the entire time? I was sure I would have remembered putting it there.
I flipped it open and turned to the last page I’d written on. Beside it, on the next page that should have been blank, was Max’s perfect handwriting.
My Love,
Please don’t be angry. I stumbled across this journal and I couldn’t resist reading it. Once I did, I knew there were some things I needed to say before I could give it back. I wish you were comfortable talking to me face-to-face about these things, but I know that may take some time. So for now, if you’ll let me, I’d like to be able to write back and forth with you in this journal.
If you don’t like the idea, it’s okay. I just want the opportunity to tell you that everything you’re feeling, all the worries and doubts you experience—I experience those same things.
But never about you. Only about me.
You are the one thing in my life that I am absolutely certain about. I want to be the same for you. I understand that you’ve been through some things that make that difficult, but I will be here every step of the way until you can look into my eyes and be absolutely certain about my love for you.
I planned a special surprise for you today, and I hope you will like it. I want us to be honest about what we want from life—from each other and for our future. There is nothing that you can’t tell me.
Love always,
Max
Chapter 12
I couldn’t stop the tears from forming as I put two and two together. My journal was never missing. Max had it the whole time. He’d written a sweet love note for me the night before, and I’d never even read it. If I’d only mentioned to him that I thought I’d misplaced the journal, he would have given it to me right away. Instead, I’d stressed most of the day about it and let my imagination run wild.
He was right. I needed to find my certainty in him.
As I wiped my eyes, the door to the hotel room opened and Max stepped inside. I looked up from the journal in time to see his skin grow pale.
“Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“Max, please. Sit with me.”
He nodded and sat down beside me on the bed. “Listen, before you say anything, I know it was an invasion of your privacy to read that. I’m sure that’s what you were upset about today, and I’m sorry. It was foolish of me to write in it when it belongs to you.”
“No, it wasn’t foolish at all. The truth is—without you, it’s not complete. It’s a journal about our relationship, and that means that it belongs to both of us. It’s also not what I was upset about. I only found it now.”
“You did?” He looked up at me with surprise. “Then what was bothering you today?”
I took a deep breath and remembered the last line in his note. “I thought I’d lost the journal. As you know, it has some very personal information in it about us. I was afraid that if I told you I lost it, you’d be upset with me.”
“Oh, Sammy.” He hugged me. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Make me breakfast in bed again?” I smiled.
“No. Well, yes—maybe, but no. This isn’t something to joke about. When you’re worried about something—when you’re feeling stressed—I should be the first person you turn to, not the person you’re afraid to talk to.”
“I know. I’m going to try harder at being honest. I love your idea about writing back and forth and I hope that we can continue to do that.”
“I’d really like to. I’m sorry that you thought you lost the journal, though. If I’d told you what I’d done, you wouldn’t have worried all day.”
“It doesn’t matter now. Tomorrow we get to see the countryside, and we can continue to enjoy our time together. That’s all that matters to me.”
The next morning I woke up feeling lighter than I had in a long time. I hadn’t realized how much it bogged me down to keep something from Max. I promised myself that I would be more open with him from now on.
I gazed at him while he slept. The subtle way his cheeks pinked up and the purse of his lips made me certain that he was a work of art, not an actual person. Then he snored and swung his hand at me in his sleep. I laughed as I realized that he’d probably sensed me staring at him.
I climbed out of bed and headed for the shower.
When I emerged from the bathroom, I didn’t see Max in the room. For a moment I wondered if he’d found something better to do, but I pushed the thought away.
“Max?”
“Out here.” He slid the balcony door open.
I smiled as I stepped out to find fruit and tea waiting for me. “Do you mind if we eat breakfast out here today?”
“Not at all. This is lovely. Thank you.”
He pulled out a chair for me. “Something to brighten your day, since I don’t think the sun is going to make it out of the clouds.”
“I don’t mind. I like the brooding sky. It makes me think of poetry, and romance, and epic things in general.”
“You get all that from the sky?” He glanced up at it. “I wish I could see through your eyes once in a while.”
“Trust me—it’s a blessing and a curse.”
“I imagine it could be.” He picked up a piece of melon and popped it into his mouth.
“This is a perfect way to say goodbye to Dublin, Max.” I picked up my cup of hot tea and took a sip.
Beyond the balcony the traffic and rush of the city created music and entertainment.
“It seemed that you liked the balcony, so I thought we should enjoy it on our last morning here.”
“I’m so looking forward to exploring.”
“Me too.” He sipped his tea and stretched in his chair.
I couldn’t help but study the way his body flexed and sprawled into a relaxed state. I hadn’t lost an ounce of attraction for Max. The way he looked back at me conveyed that he hadn’t lost any for me either. In that moment, I could call myself happy—in our little bubble of love and with the relaxation of not having a timeline. Although I was grateful for the success of the book, I longed for these moments when there was nothing to do but enjoy one another’s company.
“Did you sleep well last night?”
“Well enough. It’s a bit noisy here.” He shrugged. “What about you?”
“Pretty good. Every time I woke up, I just snuggled up to you.”
“I know.” He smiled. “I enjoyed it.”
“I suppose when we’re finished here we should pack up.”
“Yes, it’s probably best to get out of the city in between the rush hours. Anything else you need to do while we’re here in Dublin?”
“Not a thing. Now all of my time is devoted to you, Max.”
“To us.” He held up his cup of tea.
I held up mine and clinked it to his. “To us.” I smiled as I took a
nother sip.
It startled me how pleasurable a moment could be—without thought given to the past or to the future. I could drown in his eyes, without hesitation or a time limit. It was as intimate to me as any moment we’d ever spent in bed together.
Chapter 13
Max gazed back at me with a slight smile on his lips. It made me think he knew some wonderful secret about me.
“Your book signings are all lined up for when we get back?”
The moment shattered, I nodded. “Yes. I think Fiona has a good handle on everything.”
“Great—one less thing to stress about.”
“That’s for sure. I want to do something special for her. She’s really been so kind to me, and she’s such a big fan. Any ideas?”
He gazed up at the cloudy sky for a moment then looked back at me. “Put her in your next book?”
“Good idea.” I laughed.
“I’m serious. Or better yet, talk about her on the blog. I’m sure she’d enjoy that.”
“That’s not a bad idea. Maybe there’s a way that I can work it in. But not now. Now, we’re going to pack up and leave Dublin in our dust.”
“Does it ever get dry enough here for there to be dust?”
“You know what I mean.” I grinned, then finished my tea.
After I cleared the cups, I headed inside to pack my things. Of course Max was already packed up. He would have packed me up too, but I’d put a stop to that early on in our marriage. I had to do some things for myself or I would feel totally useless.
Once we were ready, we headed downstairs to pick up the car. Max walked up to the counter to talk to the attendant.
When the attendant pointed out a car, Max’s voice grew a bit louder.
“You couldn’t have washed it?”
“Sure, if you want to pay the extra thirty dollars.”
“Thirty dollars for a car wash?”
I could tell from the tone of his voice that Max’s frustration had begun to escalate.
“Where are the keys?”
“Here you are sir.” The man dropped the keys into Max’s hand.
Max glanced over his shoulder at me.
I walked up to him with a cheerful smile. “Don’t worry, honey. Whatever car it is will be just fine.”
“It’s this one.” He led me over to it and sighed.
Sammy in Ireland (Single Wide Female Travels #5) Page 4