SOLACE: Behind The Shield (Beauty 0f Life Book 2)

by Laura Acton

  Marc doubted he could ever do their job. He chided himself for not saying something different, something helpful, or comforting. The young man is in so much pain—physically and emotionally. It is etched into the officer’s face, and all I offered him is a platitude with no solace or help. How pathetic can I be?

  Usually better with words, Marc learned the value of them long ago. Words could and had saved lives. He wished to turn around and convey a more meaningful message to the weary constable, but he sighed and continued to drive back to the station because his shift officially ended hours ago and he too was thoroughly exhausted.

  Dan stood in the TRF lot—for how long he didn’t know—as the patrol officer’s words ‘rolled in his head. That is my mantra, Dan dully thought.

  His head hung, not moving, stone-cold still, not breathing. He succumbed to the burning need for air and took a painful breath in, followed by a slow painful exhale. Cracked ribs sucks.

  So tired and hurting, Dan’s heart, soul, and mind had been torn to bloody shreds today, leaving him extremely conflicted. His physical body wasn’t in much better shape, but at least he was not bleeding out uncontrollably like his heart and soul.

  Can I walk in? Should I leave? Dan lifted his head sluggishly and peered at the building. Here is where family, his new beginning, and a sense of belonging resided. Things he treasured and lost twice before joining Alpha Team.

  But after yesterday? Was it only twenty-four hours ago when I arrived here so happy? Yeah, one day. So much happened in such a short period of time. Do I belong here anymore? Do they still want me? Would they care if I left? Did I blow it again? Will I be forsaken a third time?

  He let his head drop again as he thought about the first time he had been forsaken. At nine-years-old, his parents disowned, abandoned, and rejected him after he failed to save his sister. After she died, he only received censure from the general—never meeting expectations. Repeatedly told he was not worthy, he didn’t belong because he did not protect his little sister, and he should’ve died instead of Sara.

  After Sara’s death, he was banished to the Arctic Special Forces base in the northern Yukon Territory. He grew up in isolation, in his very own ice prison, cut off from everyone he ever cared about. The general showed him no acceptance, no tolerance, and no compassion.

  My father didn’t want me but nonetheless demanded perfection. I never measured up no matter how hard I tried. I only succeeded in demonstrating I would never be the perfect son he required. No, not son. That is wrong.

  The general didn’t want a son, all he wanted was a soldier. A perfect soldier! But I never met those expectations, either. I almost died trying to be what he desired. Why did I strive for so long to be what the bastard wanted?

  Dan corrected himself. No, I didn’t do this for him, I did my best because Brody dreamed of being in Special Forces.

  He joined for his best friend and brother, Brody Hunter, but after he killed Brody in a friendly fire incident, staying became utterly impossible. Dan flipped off General ‘Badass’ Broderick, literally and figuratively, as he broke with generations-old family tradition and exited military service while still young, able-bodied, and alive.

  He lost his second family—his unit brothers—the day he blew Brody away. They had forsaken him because he committed the most heinous sin. He killed one of their own. He destroyed their brother.

  Pain so deep … Breathe, remember to breathe.

  Does my new chosen family want someone like me around? Can they still accept me after what had occurred yesterday? Only a day ago all the pieces clicked together, and I finally recognized I belonged.

  Joining them was no walk in the park. Not one of them wanted me on their team. They made it abundantly clear for months, but then something changed and things improved. They embraced me … but will they, can they, after yesterday? Dan didn’t know.

  Will I find solace or condemnation with them now?

  Dan forced himself to take a measured breath in. Words and deeds wound deeply, slashing and shredding until nothing is left.

  “I’m a killer. My father trained me to be one since I was old enough to hold a gun. No emotions, breathe in, hold, aim, squeeze softly like a caress between heartbeats, and snuff out a life,” Dan whispered to no one.

  Is NRB Agent Dick Donner, right? Am I unfit? Was I too quick on the trigger? Am I an actual murderer and a liability to my team?

  Dan blanched as he recalled Agent Donner’s accusations. “Six! Six, Broderick! Do you hear me? Six people, you killed today! Without a second thought. In cold blood. You snuffed six innocent lives! You’re so sure of yourself, so cocky, always too fast to pull a trigger.

  “You’re a murderer. Your badge isn’t a license to kill. You murdered Aaron as sure as if you had fired the bullet. How can you believe you’re fit to be a TRF officer? You put your team at risk every time. With every person you slay, you smear blood all over their hands, too!”

  A deep sigh escaped, followed by a shaky, shallow intake of air. His body ached too much to take anything other than insubstantial breaths. Dan started to move listlessly towards the entrance.

  Time to face whatever is coming. I am many things, but a coward isn’t one of them. Even if this rips the last vestige of my soul from me, I will face the team. This is all my fault. Isn’t it? So much blood on my hands, I’m the one who pulled the trigger six times. No, wait … only five times. But six deaths belong to me because I failed to be quick enough on the fourth shot.

  “Crap, I’m so confused. Death comes if I’m too fast or too slow.” He kept moving. Only a few more steps and he would be at the door.

  Dan would endure whatever they threw his way … always did. Allow them to vent every hateful emotion and thought they held for him and pin the blame for all this blood where it squarely fit—on him.

  He would take it in, push it down, seal it in the dark, thick-walled place he contained all his hurt, shame, guilt, inadequacy, and failures. Never would he allow his weakness and pain to show. His mask, his shields, and his walls were well-built after years of construction.

  His hand on the handle, Dan reminded himself, Breathe, just breathe …

  About the Author

  Laura Acton, author of the Beauty of Life series, has a passion for writing stories which pull the reader into a complex world of courageous men and women riding a roller coaster of emotions and danger, highlighting the nature of relationships and bonds developed in adversity.

  Ever since she was a teenager, Laura entertained herself crafting stories in her head. One quiet night, with music softly playing, Laura sat at a computer and finally allowed her stories to flow onto the page. Thus, discovering her

  writing passion as she began FORSAKEN, the first novel

  in the Beauty of Life series.

  If you like action, angst, intrigue, romance, details, twists, turns, and connections, Laura’s novels are chocked full of them.

  To receive an email notification for the next release, send an email to laura.acton-author@cox.net.

  For a complete listing of Laura’s novels, visit amazon.com/author/lauraacton