Full-Figured Vampire 1 - Real Vampires Have Curves

by Gerry Bartlett

  "Mr. Sabatini sure throws a quality party." Tony took a swallow of his drink and sighed with pleasure. "What say we check out the next tent?"

  "Sure. Why not?" I walked beside him to the door of the tent and looked around. There were three other tents scattered around the lawn. The band I'd heard when we arrived was set up on the porch that faced the breathtaking view. The band played a song that sounded familiar and a few couples danced on the stone terrace. Small tables held candles and the flickering lights were very romantic. And here I was with Tony Crapetta.

  "See that band? They just had a hit single on the country charts. Last year it was a rock band. Not the disco that I like to groove to, but I'd be glad to dance with you if you want, Miss Gloriana." Tony held out his hand. "Mr. Sabatini dropped a bundle bringing this group here for a private party. A shame to waste good music."

  Tony was wearing a vest suit straight from the seventies, bell-bottom pants and a full sleeved shirt with a wild print. He could have been a contestant in the dance contest in Saturday Night Fever except for the six crosses nestled in his chest hair. He did a little John Travolta move and that sealed the deal as far as I was concerned.

  "Thanks, Tony. Maybe later. Let's explore the next tent before we do any dancing." I'd have been smart if I'd just danced with the Disco King. Because the next tent held a horrifying sight. Was Damian trying to ruin me? I stopped in the doorway. Paranoia. Damian couldn't have known about my little problem. Nobody in Austin knew. Except for Valdez.

  "What's wrong, Miss Gloriana? See? There's blackjack, roulette, poker tables. Free chips so you don't have to lose your own money." I felt Tony's hand on my back, urging me inside. "Then there's a prize table if you want to cash your winnings in for some pretty nifty things. Last year I went home with a DVD player."

  Here it came—the rush, the adrenaline flow I'd tried to forget, but had to admit I'd missed. The music outside was just so much noise compared to the symphony inside. The rattle of chips, the cry of the winner and the moans of the losers as someone got twenty-one almost brought tears to my eyes. The roulette wheel whirled and the crowd gasped as the ball fell and danced around the circle. I edged closer. What number had hit? If it had been seven black, my lucky number…

  "What the hell's going on here?" Valdez bumped my hip. "Not going in there, are you?"

  Tony stared bug-eyed at Valdez. "Did that dog just talk?"

  "No, you imagined it." I hit Tony with the whammy, then gave Valdez a stern look. "You know the rules, Valdez. Cool it around mortals. Now I have to erase Tony's memory and I've only been here a few minutes."

  "Whatever. Just stay out of that tent. You can take care of Crappola later."

  "If I want to gamble, I'll gamble. This isn't the real deal. It's just for fun."

  "You can't have that kind of fun, Blondie. You go nuts and you know it." Valdez actually stepped between me and the roulette table.

  My fault. I never should have let Valdez come inside at all those meetings of Gamblers Anonymous. He'd appointed himself my keeper after hearing all the warning signs, etcetera, etcetera. Of course I'd had a mortal sponsor as part of the program but Valdez had taken over after some unfortunate backsliding on my part. I'd finally gotten the message, along with maxed out credit cards, and quit cold turkey I've been clean now for four years, six months and twenty-two days. And, believe me, Valdez is counting.

  I looked inside the tent. I could smell the excitement. What would one game hurt? Texas Hold 'em. I could see a table with an opening—

  Oof! I was flat on my back, staring at the sky overhead. A fifty pound dog sat on my chest.

  "Get off, you mutt! You're not allowed to treat me this way." I shoved at Valdez. He didn't move an inch.

  "Sorry, Blondie. Mr. Blade ordered me to take care of you. His orders trump your orders."

  "Trump this, you mangy mongrel. No." Oof. "More." Oof. "Cheetos." Ugh. "For you." Damn it. I put everything I had into my next shove. Nothing. Valdez was something else and it sure wasn't just a Labradoodle.

  "Now you're being mean. You know I love my Cheetos. But orders are orders." His paws pressed down on my shoulders when I tried one more buck. "Give it up, Blondie. When I ramp up my strength, no vampire can beat me at arm wrestling." He had the nerve to grin at me. "One more buck and your left boob's going to pop free."

  How could such a spawn of Satan look so cute? If I didn't know better I'd think he was doing the whammy on me. I closed my eyes just in case and felt the swish of his wagging tail on my bare legs while I adjusted my bustier. At least only Tony Crappeta had witnessed this humiliation. If another vampire came out and saw me, flat on my back, with my dog sitting on my chest…

  "Okay, okay, I give. I will not go into that tent." I opened my eyes and put my hands against Valdez's warm chest. If I got a good grip and yanked, I could take out a big hunk of fur. But I wouldn't. Because he was right. I didn't need to gamble. Ever. Again.

  "You sure?" He was braced, like for pain in case I decided to let 'er rip.

  "I'm sure. I'll even dance with Crapetta here if that will make you get off of me." I glanced at Tony. He was wide-eyed, but obviously still under the influence of the whammy I'd started before I'd been knocked on my ass.

  "I'd pay money to see you dance with Crapetta." Blade strolled up. "Off the lady, Valdez. I can handle things from here."

  "Of course. He called you, didn't he?" I sat up as soon as Valdez hopped off of me. So much for our pact that Blade would never know about the gambling.

  "Valdez is obligated to me." Blade looked at the dog, then at me. "Don't blame him for reporting everything. He has no choice."

  "Damn it, I'm sick of having absolutely no privacy." I reluctantly took Blade's outstretched hand and let him pull me to my feet. I brushed off the back of my skirt and discovered my forked tail was bent out of shape. Hey, 7 was bent out of shape. At least we'd had a dry autumn and I wasn't hip deep in mud.

  Forget my dignity. That was long gone. I did my best to straighten my tail while Tony still stared. Time to cut him loose. I touched his arm.

  "Crapetta, you can forget everything about this little scene. Go back in to the drink tent and get another double. Mr. Blade is here now."

  Tony shook his head, then headed for the drink tent even though he'd barely sipped the drink in his hand. You had to love the whammy. I looked at Blade, then at Valdez. But you didn't have to love interfering, control freak vampires or their minions.

  I picked up my purse, which had landed on the grass beside me, then turned on my heel and headed for the fence that lined the property. I needed darkness—to think, to straighten my skirt and to check my hair for leaves and grass clippings.

  Valdez trotted beside me. "Slow down, Blondie."

  "Gloriana, wait." Blade was right behind me. "Stay near the house. It's not safe in the dark."

  "It's not that dark. Full moon tonight. Go away." I had a full head of steam and kept walking. "Both of you, just leave me alone." I was making pretty good time despite high heels and soft grass. I could still hear the music, but I'd put some distance between me and the tents where most of the crowd had gathered. Blade had fallen back a bit to give me space, but Valdez was right beside me.

  "Gloriana, stop!" Blade ordered.

  "Go to hell." I gasped and wobbled. A sharp pain. Hot, sliding through my arm.

  "Hell? Isn't that where all blood sucking vampires go anyway?"

  Chapter Twenty-two

  The voice was out of my worst nightmares. And the smell… I'd know it anywhere. Olive wood. Westwood. Where? I looked down at the arrow sticking out of my arm. It hurt like the devil himself was using his pitchfork on me. Pull it out. Arms wrapped around me, digging the arrow into my flesh.

  "Ow! Shit! Let me go!" I did my best to break free from the two men who'd grabbed me. Then I felt the prick of a sharp point over my heart and froze. I'm brave but not stupid. I wasn't about to stake myself by making a wrong move.

  Valdez was going nuts, attacking
the men, his powerful jaws clamping down on one man's leg. But apparently they wore protective clothing because the guy kicked at the dog, but didn't release me or scream in pain.

  "Valdez, go get help." At least I had the presence of mind to order him away. The goons had guns strapped at their waists and I doubted Valdez was bulletproof. Of course my pooch looked back at Blade first for permission, then raced away toward the house or the tents. Somewhere. I had a little thing like trying not to die to concentrate on.

  Two muscle men held me at stake point. Goodbye, world. I looked at Blade and sent him a mental message to save himself. Blade made a vamp move toward me, but stopped when he realized that I could be finished me off with one thrust.

  I tried my own vamp move, but a day without Bloody Merry and arms of steel holding me kept that from happening.

  "Give it up, Blade. That is your name, isn't it? I don't think a dog can save you or your woman." Westwood landed on the grass a few feet from Jerry. So he did climb fences, the sneaky bastard. I recognized him from his pictures and the shop. Joe Ordinary with tinted glasses and a bow and arrow pointed at Blade's chest.

  My heart leaped into my throat. Which would have been a good thing if I really could have managed it. Someone tries to stake you, you just make your heart jump out of the way. Okay, so I was hysterical.

  "Tell your men to let her go, Westwood. I think I have what you want." Blade's smile made my insides clench. He was showing his fangs. Which even in the moonlight obviously would make an impressive addition to any necklace.

  I tried another vamp move, no go. So I ground my heel into the foot of the man on my right. Damn, steel toed boots?

  "A fine trophy. I believe I have you both where I want you. Smile, pretty lady. Let me see what you've got." Westwood actually grinned, arrogant bastard.

  "I'll show you—" The stake jabbed me, drawing blood. "Take him down, Jerry."

  Blade was behind Westwood and had a knife to the man's throat before you could say "vamp whammy."

  "Well, hell. I guess I underestimated you." Westwood decided I was a good consolation prize and aimed his arrow at my chest. "Cut my throat and my men will finish off your little friend. My final gift to you."

  "And what would you have my final gift to you be?" Blade's voice was pure steel. As hard and sharp as the knife gleaming in his hand. As his "little friend," I had to admire Blade's control. I knew he wanted to rip into Westwood in the worst way.

  "Let me go. Then my men will release your woman." Westwood got points for guts. His voice quavered slightly, but his arrow never wavered.

  It was aimed at my heart. Wasn't that overkill? Hah, hah. I was having a major meltdown, but didn't dare give in to it. If Blade could hang tough, so could I. Even though there was an arrow sticking out of my arm that the guy on my right thought needed to be jerked around to keep me in line. I blinked back tears of pain, not daring to take my eyes off Westwood.

  "Prove you mean what you say. Put down your bow and arrow, Westwood. That is your name, isn't it?" Blade stared at me for an endless moment, telling me to be brave. Somehow he would save me. Save me? When he could take out Westwood?

  My throat closed and my eyes filled again. I couldn't ask him to abandon his revenge for Mac on my account. I struggled against the hands gripping me. If I could just fling them off… But Westwood obviously hired serious muscle and I was losing blood from my arm and now from my left boob. I froze when that damned stake pricked me again.

  "Kill him, Jerry. No way is he going to let me go." I had to get Blade to save himself. "Look at what he's got around his neck. You have to make him pay." The infamous horrible, totally appalling fang necklace.

  Blade jerked and Westwood finally dropped his bow as blood welled from a cut on his neck. Blade's pain-filled gaze met mine.

  "You will let the woman go, Westwood. Now."

  "Not while you've got a knife at my throat." Westwood actually had the nerve to grab Blade's arm. Not that it did any good. He was no match for a vamp in top form. And Blade, his plaid a sharp contrast to Westwood's camouflage, fairly vibrated with vamp power. More blood ran down Westwood's neck and you could see the fight go out of him.

  "What do you want us to do, boss?"

  I gasped when the stake pressed deeper into the swell of those breasts I'd been so determined to show off. If I got out of this alive, I was wearing a Kevlar turtleneck.

  "Release her, Westwood." Blade's fangs were full out and I could feel the tension in Westwood's men but I couldn't read their minds. They had on the same damned glasses Ryan had worn. Westwood wore them too. But Westwood's hired guns had to be scared witless to be in the presence of real vampires.

  Of course they didn't release me. I was their only leverage. I let my own fangs run out and snarled.

  "See these? They're nothing compared to what's coming. Your boss can't save you. Our dog is going to bring back a hoard of hungry vampires. If you want to live, you'd better run right now."

  "They take orders from me, vampire." Westwood still sounded calm. The guy had nerves of steel. "Let me go, Blade, and I'll order my men to release the woman."

  "Don't do it, Jerry. We'd be fools to trust his promises."

  "I give you my hunter's oath." Westwood's eyes gleamed behind his tinted lenses. "And the word of a Westwood."

  "The word of a Westwood?" I managed a laugh. "Yeah, right. Where's my Bible? Swear on that and we might believe you." That got a reaction from Westwood. He stiffened and looked wild-eyed and up, like he expected lightning to strike or something.

  I croaked out another laugh. "What? You don't think vamps read the Bible? How would you like me to quote scripture?"

  Blade was giving me looks, like shut up and run if I got the chance. Hey, I was buying us time. The vamp reinforcements had to be here soon. I was terrified Jerry was going to do something heroic and get himself staked on my account.

  "Just let me go." Westwood was pale but didn't fold, the tough big game hunter until the end. Me, I was shaking like a bikini model in a blizzard. "My men will release the woman, I promise."

  "I feel better, don't you, Jerry? But before you let their boss go, I wonder if we should ask Frick and Frack here if they really want to let a vampire go." Their grips on my arms tightened. I didn't need to be a mind reader to know they weren't about to take that chance. I looked down at the wooden stake still drawing blood.

  Okay, if I'd ever needed vamp power, this was it. I stared at the wood poking my breast. I was dimly aware of barking and shouts coming toward us as I focused my thoughts on one outcome. Please, please, please let this work. I narrowed my eyes, held my breath and practically wet my pants as I concentrated.

  Heat. Heat. Come on, baby, light my fire. A wisp of smoke. A flash. Woo hoo! The men screamed when the stake burst into flames. I'd done it! Hot freakin' damn! I fell on my butt, suddenly free as they ran for their lives.

  Good move. Glinda the Good Witch flew in at an angle, one of her gold heels catching Frick on the back of his head as he scrambled up and over the fence. Scarecrow and Lion were a blur of fur and straw as they took off after Frack.

  "Gloriana." Blade was beside me.

  I lay back on the grass, my head spinning. The smell of burning lace and, gulp, flesh, hit me right where I lived and everything went dark for a moment. Someone touched me. I focused enough to recognize Flo as she pulled the arrow from my arm and pressed her hands gently against the wound. I could feel vamp magic surging through me, healing, working a miracle.

  I sighed as someone raised my head and pressed a glass to my lips. I drank thirstily. Transylvania's finest. Did they have a web site?

  Everything was still hazy when strong arms lifted me and carried me toward the house. Blade again. I drank in his familiar scent. It beat the hell out of my own reek.

  "Jerry, did you get Westwood? Tell me you took the bastard apart." I managed to focus on his face. He looked beyond grim. I took that as a no.

  "When I saw you catch fire, Gloriana…" Bla
de swallowed. "I sliced his arm. He won't be drawing a bow any time soon. But forget that. Are you all right?"

  "She's more than all right, Blade. Everyone saw. She made the stake catch fire. She was brilliant." Damian pushed a pillow under my head as Blade laid me on a sofa in the living room.

  "Move, both of you." Flo pushed the men out of the way. "Let me see your breast, Glory. The stake hurt you. And the fire."

  "Maybe she should get out of that tight top." Damian peered over Flo's shoulder.

  "Idiot. No peep show for you. Turn your back. Jeremiah, hand me your knife." Flo smiled at me. "You are a little scorched, Glory, but I'm so proud of you. Setting a stake on fire! Damian's right about that. You were brilliant." Flo cut the laces on my bustier and my boobs sprang free, shouting hallelujah. I put my hands over my nipples.

  "Thanks, Flo, I think I'll live now."

  "Hush, let me heal you." She clucked and put her hand over the burn and laceration on my breast. "Look at you. This must hurt like the devil."

  "Yeah, actually." I gasped when she pressed against it and then sighed as the pain vanished. "I love you, Flo. Will you marry me?"

  "I think she's delirious. Someone bring her another drink of that Fangtastic." Flo tossed a pillow over my chest and studied my face. "How do you feel, Glory?"

  I took inventory. Arm, check. Breast, check. No aches, no pain and I was bloody brilliant. I sat up and looked around the room. Way too many people stared at me like I was Damian's surprise of the night. I clutched the pillow with both hands.

  "Show's over, folks. It's party time." I struggled to my feet, then wobbled and had to lean on Flo. Some people applauded and I bowed. I felt my cape slide over my shoulders. I pulled it around me and dropped the pillow.

  "Thanks." I looked back to see who had done it. Blade. Still looking grim. "Hey, I'm okay."

  "Sit down, Gloriana. You've had a shock." Blade put his arm around me when Flo stepped aside.