The Gift of Life

by Josephine Moon

  30

  Krystal lay in bed for as long as possible on Thursday morning, her body aching. It seemed nearly impossible that it was only three days ago that she and Gabby had gone to Sydney and everything had changed.

  Jasper was in bed with her and she watched him breathing. He was so cute. He had Evan’s lashes and the same smattering of freckles under his eyes. She was supposed to go to work today but there was no way she felt up to facing Janice after yesterday. Then again, she had to get up and get dressed and take the boys to school and day care anyway, so maybe she should just get the humiliation over with. She pushed the decision aside for now, her mind obsessively going over and over everything Rebecca had said and everything Cordelia-Aurora had said, or not said, yesterday.

  Was she crazy to think what she was thinking?

  Could Cordelia-Aurora really have killed her own brother to stop him from reopening the case and perhaps ruining the family’s reputation? She could well believe Cordelia-Aurora was capable of destroying evidence. But Evan? It was distressing. But it would explain the frosty relationship between him and his sister after that final case, and it would explain why he’d felt so compelled to try to make it right.

  Jasper rolled over, kicking her in the hip as he did so. She shuffled closer to him, laying her arm like a wing over his body and resting her hand on his tiny shoulder, watching his little chest move up and down with each breath. Paralysing fear gripped her momentarily. She liked to think she’d been through the worst life had to offer; but she hadn’t. It could always be worse.

  Olly toddled in, carrying his battered Paddington bear, his sleepy face blinking.

  ‘Hey, baby boy.’ She smiled at him and opened up the covers so he could climb in too. He lay down next to Jasper and fell back asleep almost immediately. They were so warm, like little heaters, and she had to fling off a corner of the cover. She listened to their snuffling breaths, clinging to the peace and quiet before they awoke and turned into chattering, active, demanding little people who would want food and fun and entertainment, all before they left for school. She’d need a heap of coffee to cope with today, sleep having evaded her most of the night. But for as long as she could, she’d keep them asleep here with her in the big bed, the Mexican donkey looking down at them from the wall. Evan loved that picture. They’d talked about travelling to Mexico together with the kids one day.

  Evan, what did you do?

  But Evan was silent. Her mind picked over her conversation with Rebecca, again and again.

  The scientific evidence had been destroyed during the trial. Burned.

  I could recreate it, and I gave it to Evan.

  She stilled. Evan had the evidence. Then it must be around somewhere. But where? Her blood thrummed through her veins. She extricated herself from the boys and slid out from under the bedcovers, and began to pace the still dim house. If he’d hidden the evidence in the house, where would it be?

  Jasper joined her, flinging his arms around her waist. ‘I’m thirsty.’

  ‘Okay,’ she said, rubbing his shoulder. ‘I’ll get you something.’ She let her eyes drift around the apartment, wondering. Evan had died trying to make something right. Just maybe, she could finish what he’d started. But it would have to wait until after she got the boys out of the house.

  She got the kids off to school, called in sick for work – Janice was hardly surprised, given her panic attack yesterday – resigned herself to the fact that she’d ruined her chances of getting that full-time job, and then rushed home. This was too important.

  She tossed her keys onto the kitchen bench and set the kettle to boil, but couldn’t wait for it to finish before she began tearing the place apart. So much of Evan’s stuff was still here. She’d wanted to keep it for herself and, even more than that, for the boys. That way, as they grew she would be able to pull out something – a jumper, a book, a coffee mug, a cufflink – and know that it would trigger a memory for her, something she could relate to them and in doing so build their bank of memories and knowledge.

  She didn’t want his collection of things to be a shrine, dusty and abandoned, nothing moved from where it had been when she’d last seen him. She wanted them to be living things, things used around the house, not things the boys were afraid to touch but instead things to love and hold and carry around with them. Olly already slept with Evan’s dark red knitted jumper and Jasper liked to look through his father’s collection of Lee Child novels, even though he couldn’t read them yet. She liked that they would pick up shoes from the closet and carry them to the lounge room and try them on, their small feet inside the big size twelves. It hurt, too, to watch her little men wanting to practise being like their dad, but their smiles always made up for it. Having Evan’s stuff moving around the house was like his spirit swirling through the rooms.

  There was a hidden closet in the hallway, one that had a manhole in the ceiling and the fuse box on the wall, and in it Evan had stored his paperwork and folders. She pulled out cardboard cartons and carried them to the dining table to rifle through. She searched for anything that might be related to the Farner Seven case, but with no luck. As he’d been part of the Arthur firm back then, everything would have been stored on site, she imagined. All she found were tedious, benign-looking letters or bank statements, law journals, insurance brochures, some media clippings of when either Evan or the Arthur firm had made the news, old telephone books, and disjointed, handwritten notes, the kind he might have made while on the phone to someone, with no connection to anything else.

  She went through the back of the linen closet, the top shelf of the wardrobe, and the bottom drawer in the kitchen that was hardly ever opened, pulling things out, spreading them around. The apartment looked like a tip, but she hadn’t found a single useful thing. Nothing to do with Farner Seven and nothing that could implicate Cordelia-Aurora in Evan’s death. She leaned back in the chair, despairing. She could never succeed against the Arthurs. Never. They were too big, too formidable, too wealthy, too educated, too famous.

  She was just too small.

  If only she could solve this for the boys’ sake.

  Then she wiped at her leaky eyes, realising that while she might not be able to solve this on her own, there might still be someone who could help her.

  She leapt from her seat and plucked her handbag from the end of the kitchen bench, ferreting around until she found what she was looking for – Trentino Cossa’s business card. If she wanted to take on a lawyer she’d need another lawyer to help her do it. Trentino might just be the guy. She fished out her phone and dialled his number. To her happy surprise, he answered.

  She told him the story, everything Rebecca had said, her own wild conspiracy theories about Cordelia-Aurora, her search through the house. When she finished, Trentino was silent a moment.

  ‘Krystal, this is big.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘You have to find that evidence.’

  ‘But where would it be? You’re a lawyer, where would you put it?’

  ‘I wouldn’t have it inside the house, especially if I was afraid of repercussions for my family. Perhaps with a trusted friend or family member? Or in a safe? A safe deposit box? A long-term airport locker? Maybe even at another law firm or with a solicitor, somewhere no one else would think to go. Hell, I might even bury something like that in a tin in my backyard.’

  ‘We haven’t got a backyard,’ she said miserably.

  ‘Think hard. You need to find this.’

  Krystal ended the call deflated, letting her head drop to her folded forearms on the table.

  Where is it, Evan?

  She needed to see Gabby. If anyone was going to know what was in Evan’s mind, it would be her.

  31

  Gabby was the only one home when she opened the door to Meri and stepped across the threshold to hug her.

  ‘Come in,’ she said, ushering Meri down the hall to the kitchen. ‘You look like you could use some coffee.’ Meri had dark grey circles un
der her eyes and wore no make-up. She was dressed in jeans, and a fitted top with a red, Japanese-inspired floral print.

  ‘Trust me, that’s an understatement,’ Meri said. She spied Mykahla in her bouncer on the kitchen floor and broke into a big grin. ‘Hello, baby!’ She bent down to unclip the safety belt and pick her up, burying her face into the baby’s neck. ‘Oh, I missed you.’

  Sally followed Meri’s moves intently and Gabby couldn’t quite tell if the dog was relieved or sad that Mykahla’s human had returned. Gabby gave her a reassuring smile and Sally sat down, watching them.

  ‘She’s been fabulous,’ Gabby said, turning on the coffee machine to heat the water. ‘She slept in bed with me. It was so lovely to have a small, wriggly person with me again.’

  ‘Why are babies so much better behaved for other people than for their own parents?’ Meri asked, making funny faces at her daughter, who giggled with delight.

  ‘Frustrating, isn’t it?’ Gabby laughed. ‘Then no one ever believes you when you tell them how difficult they are.’ She watched Meri and the baby for a moment, sinking into the warm, fuzzy feelings that it brought. ‘How’s Cam?’

  Meri nodded and shifted Mykahla onto her hip so she could rock her from side to side. ‘He’s okay. He’s still at the hospital but should be coming home later today.’

  ‘Is he … have they recommended some sort of rehabilitation program?’

  ‘It’s not drugs,’ Meri said, sounding snippy, though Gabby could forgive her after what she’d been through in the past twenty-four hours.

  ‘It’s not?’

  ‘It’s depression. Postnatal depression, specifically.’

  ‘Postnatal depression?’

  ‘Men can get it too,’ Meri said, her voice assuming a measured tone now, one Gabby imagined she used often in her line of work. ‘It’s less common than in women, obviously, but his history predisposes him to it.’

  ‘What history? The drugs?’

  Meri took a breath, a defensive one, Gabby thought. ‘Yes, his past drug use is a factor. So too is the financial pressure of having to support two families, and a history of stressful relationships.’

  Gabby prickled. ‘What, with me?’

  ‘Any breakdown of a relationship is stressful, divorces especially so, but yours was more complicated because not a lot of time had passed between your divorce and your getting sick. It was an awful time for him.’

  Gabby tried to think back to that time. Cam had seemed so calm, so helpful. She remembered being grateful that he’d had his act together so thoroughly. She’d known she could rely on him to be the strong one for them all.

  ‘His kids were under tremendous stress and he had to be there for them,’ Meri went on. ‘He faced losing you, and while you might have been separated it would still have been a huge loss for him, and he would have had to pick up the pieces for his kids. Everything would have changed. Everyone was on tenterhooks. He had to be ready to drop everything at any time to be there for the kids, to help you, to help your parents. Celia was breaking down at school …’

  ‘Yes,’ Gabby agreed, feeling a hell of a lot more compassionate towards Cam than she had in the past few weeks. During the years of her illness, it was as though the world had stopped for her. She’d been consumed with worry for herself and her kids; she’d been grateful to Cam, but not particularly concerned for his welfare. At times she’d even been jealous because he’d get to go on living and see their kids grow up and she probably wouldn’t.

  ‘So, where do you go from here?’ she asked.

  ‘He was in a bad way yesterday,’ Meri said, closing her eyes as though trying to block out the memory. ‘He didn’t try to … you know.’ She paused. ‘But he was so low he couldn’t work out how to face anyone, ever again. All he could think to do was hide, disappear.’

  ‘That’s awful.’

  Mykahla started to fidget so Meri put her down on the floor to squirm around, pulling a rattly toy from her handbag and passing it to her. Sally exhaled happily and lay down, resting her head across her paw to keep one eye on the baby.

  ‘The doctor at the hospital has put him on medication and given him a referral to a psychologist. We’ve got an appointment next week.’

  ‘That’s good.’

  Meri crossed her arms over her body. ‘I know he’s been difficult lately – trust me, I know. But he’ll get better. He just needs some help and some time.’

  ‘I hear you. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been going through.’

  Meri shrugged. ‘That’s life, I suppose.’

  Gabby finished making the coffee and Meri swilled it down quickly, anxious to get back to Cam. They hugged goodbye.

  ‘Let me know if I can do anything,’ Gabby said.

  ‘Thanks.’ Meri waved farewell and Gabby blew a kiss to Mykahla, shut the door and sent a text message to Cam.

  I’m here for you, whatever you need.

  Not that long ago, it had been her needing help and her parents, Pippa and Cam taking care of her and the kids. Now her mum was gone, her dad needed more help, Pippa was getting divorced, Cam was struggling and she needed to be the one there for the kids. The wheel of fortune had turned one hundred and eighty degrees, upending their positions. Now she needed to be the strong one, which was nerve-racking but also rather exciting.

  Other than starting a new business last year, she’d still been playing everything very safe. She’d been stagnating, in a way, afraid to live her life in case she did it the wrong way. There was so much pressure to get every day just right in case it was her last.

  Now, her fortunes had changed, and so had she. She was ready.

  She’d just better make sure she didn’t die.

  After the stress of the past few days – the trip to Sydney, the disturbing visions, the revelation that Krystal had never wanted Gabby to have Evan’s heart, the car accident and the crisis with Cam – Gabby was relieved to step back inside her beautiful cafe. She breathed in the rich aromas of coffee and the sweet, rose-scented butterfly cupcakes that had just arrived, so fluffy and soft she could barely restrain herself from devouring a couple right there.

  ‘Gorgeous, aren’t they?’ Ed said. ‘Look at the crystallised rose petals on the tips of the butterfly wings.’

  ‘They’re beyond adorable,’ Gabby agreed, her mouth watering. ‘Oh! And look at these!’ In another white box sat a dozen chocolate cupcakes with whipped peaks of Baileys cream frosting, drizzled with dark chocolate. ‘Whatever we’re paying for these cupcakes, it’s not enough. I just need a roaring fire, a Baileys liqueur coffee and one of each of these cupcakes, then I might curl up like a cat and have a wee nap.’

  Ed laughed. ‘I can help you with the liqueur coffee.’

  ‘Tempting,’ Gabby conceded, picking up each cupcake carefully and placing it in the display cabinet. As she was doing so, a customer added one to her order. Gabby was almost sad to see it go. She headed out through the swing doors to find Luciano in the middle of a cupping session. She stopped on the opposite side of the long table, rows of white cups holding dark liquid between them. She grinned at him.

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘Hi.’ He put down his cup and came around the bench to stand in front of her. His eyes dropped to her lips, then back to her eyes. Obviously, they couldn’t be kissing here, which was a pity. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. ‘How’s Cam?’

  ‘He’s okay. I saw Meri this morning. He should be out of hospital later today. He needs some help to get back on his feet but he’ll get there.’

  ‘That’s good news.’

  ‘It is.’ She felt ridiculously nervous and wiped her hands down the sides of her skirt. ‘What are you cupping?’

  ‘Secret squirrel business. They’re competitors’ coffees. Just keeping on top of what’s going around the city at the moment.’

  ‘Good move.’

  The tension between them was thrilling. Gabby hadn’t felt this alive since … well, she couldn’t even remember.
>
  Luciano took his hand from his pocket and ran his knuckles gently down her arm.

  ‘Oh, boy,’ she whispered, her whole body vibrating under his touch.

  ‘Have lunch with me today,’ he said, quietly, even lustfully.

  She shivered. ‘Yep, okay.’

  ‘Good.’ He dropped his hand and smiled, his eyes dark with attraction.

  ‘I’d better …’ She indicated over her shoulder. ‘Back to … you know.’

  ‘I’ll be here.’

  She left the room before she blacked out.

  ‘Here’s your coffee,’ Ed said, handing her a tall glass with dark coffee smelling of Baileys Irish Cream, a dollop of thickened cream floating on top.

  ‘Thanks. What’s that look for?’

  Ed smirked at her and flicked her eyes towards the roasting room and back again. Oh, yeah, that wall between them was made of glass.

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Gabby said, and took her coffee. She added one of the Baileys chocolate cupcakes and went to a free table next to the green wall, the same table where she’d first seen Krystal. She stirred her coffee and took a big spoonful of cake into her mouth, and the intense sweetness and flavour distracting her from her feelings of betrayal towards Krystal. Which was just as well, because two mouthfuls later she walked in the door.

  32

  ‘Hi,’ Krystal said, approaching Gabby’s table. ‘I’m so glad you’re here.’ She pulled out the chair opposite and sat, glad there was bustle about them to defuse the intensity of this conversation. Gabby had told her she needed a break, but Krystal couldn’t wait until Gabby was ready to come back.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ Gabby asked, putting down her spoon as though she had suddenly lost her appetite.

  ‘I need your help.’

  Gabby lifted her chin and crossed one leg over the other, bobbing the toe of her boot in an agitated manner. ‘I’m not sure I’m in the mood for the paranormal right now. I’ve had a big few days.’